all right so today's video stems from a conversation i had in my patreon community with one of my patrons sweet guy very handsome and uh he came to me and said jess you know what my major problem is i cannot approach women i am so shy it's debilitating and i said to him why are you shy like what's the issue why is it so difficult for you to approach women we got down to the crux of the matter but i've got a couple of um ideas for other guys out there on my channel who may
be you know having difficulty in starting conversations and approaching women and also starting conversations with them starting meaningful conversations with them so if that's you this video is for you thanks for tuning in and i'll be right back [Music] welcome back my name is jessica so if this is my youtube channel remember if you'd like to engage with me beyond what you see on the channel today you can always go to patreon.com forward slash jessica os yeah sign up as a vip and i'll be more than happy to jump on a video call with you
it doesn't have to be about relationships necessarily you can reach out to me if you even want to talk about just life and living it or maybe you just want to say hey i'm more than happy to do that as well okay so best ways to start a conversation with a girl you're into all right now this particular topic is stemming from a conversation i had in my patreon community with this really great guy all the way an essay and i give you a shout out i won't mention your name but i'll just give you
a shout out if you're watching this video you know i'm talking about you but basically he jumps on a video call with me and he talks to me about how he's so shy he cannot seem to function around women and when he does even make that initiative to walk up to them and engage them maybe even get a phone number maybe through social media being able to have meaningful conversations when they actually meet is a major challenge in itself he had me smiling um because this is this is um something that a lot of men
go through and usually are sort of stuck in a rut when it comes to but hopefully by the end of this video i'll be able to clarify a few things with them so i'll share with you what i shared with him first question i asked him was why are you shy like what's the issue why can you not approach women you know women are not some creatures from space right like they're just like you flesh and blood and a lot of them actually want you to approach them of course depending on what time of life
she's in and then the stage of life and social class and all that kind of thing all these things matter but not so much but generally um people are open to meeting new people and i like to believe that that's the case for a lot of women so i asked him why are you shy like what's the issue you know and we couldn't quite pinpoint it except for the fact that you know apart from everything else he his job also didn't allow him to go out a lot he was always stuck behind a computer and
that kind of thing now mind you this guy's over 40 years old has been in only four relationships and was looking for some kind of assistance on how to pursue this very difficult thing so we had this conversation um so first thing i said to him and i'm going to share it now is what's the worst that could happen i'll give you a moment think about it what is the worst that could happen if you approach a girl get her to go out with you and maybe find out by the end of the night that
she's not for you or you're not for her what's the worst that could happen nothing you're not going to die you're not going to suddenly lose your job you're not going to have a panic attack in faint i mean nothing is going to happen and that's how i want you to begin to look at this thing you're shy because you feel insecure about certain things and sometimes it's deep rooted insecurity stem from different things you could have been told as a child that you're not good enough you could have been laughed about your friends and
made to feel like you're not handsome or or or cool enough you know there are so many reasons why people tend to be shy and i realize also from experience that when you're shy it's also because you're uncertain about too many things and you're letting it get in the way of your progress all right you're overthinking stuff cut that out there's no need for you to overthink something as simple as approaching a woman it's not that difficult and really what's the worst that can happen she'll say no to you she'll reject you and then what
you're not gonna die you're not gonna suddenly have a heart attack and die it's not written on your forehead neither is it written on the back of your shirt that you've just been rejected you literally walk away and shoot your shot elsewhere now if you have challenges dealing with rejection i have a special video you should check out on the channel it's called how to deal with rejection i'll post it in the description below click on it watch that video it will help you but to stick to today's topic i'm saying there's no reason for
you to feel less important inferior to another human being absolutely no reason even if they're things that you're personally insecure about remember that there are lots of us who have insecurities as well and in as much as we're insecure about whatever it is we're insecure about we do not let that insecurity prevent us from reaching for greatness and that's how you need to think about this because it's really not that deep all right so what's the best way to start a conversation with a girl you're into good you meet this girl before he even starts
a conversation it means that you would have been successful at approaching her so in approaching her and before you approach her make sure you are well aware of her surroundings who she's hanging out with the kind of mood she's in before you do that there are too many times where men walk up to say women just sitting by themselves at a restaurant a bar and try to intrude in their space maybe these women are just looking for you know space to think and the last thing they want is someone in their space so it's very
important that you um take note of everything that's going on around her before you approach that's one two has she noticed you has she noticed you have she looked at you a couple of times has she looked your way have your eyes met if they haven't maybe it's time for you to walk into her line of vision and make sure that you catch her eye if after walking into a line of vision she looks at you and never looks at you again maybe she is not interested however if you guys exchange glances more often than
not that might be a good sign that you can approach her when you approach her keep it simple you know go straight to the point ask her whether you could take a few minutes of her time to just catch up have a chat with her get to know her if she says no walk away if she engages you and she's open hip hip hooray all right it's not that deep now when you get to her there are so many things that you can do now the best ways to start conversations are usually to use the
things that are happening around you say you are at a concert or some bar that has lounge music and live performances you can start a conversation by saying hey are you enjoying the music this band is actually my favorite i really like their stuff what kind of music are you into oh i'm into the same thing she could say and then the conversation can start from there now one skill that i would ask you to hone and look into is being able to make people laugh as fast as possible um and by that i mean
within the next say two minutes after meeting her you should be able to say something that's funny it will lighten up her mood and she would think that you're a cool guy and she'll begin to drop her god a little bit and actually enjoy the conversation that's about to go down all right and that's something that i learned personally from one of my mentors one of the first things he does is crack a joke you lighten up and then he has your attention for the rest of the evening it's a really good skill to hone
and i would encourage you to do it so once you're able to go through all that the best way to start these conversations are to use things around you um you don't necessarily have to go into the whole um you know hey this is who who are you what's your name how many siblings do you have kind of thing but um just use things that are around you and and stay away from the very obvious questions if you can better yet if you're confused i have a video that highlights 32 not one not two not
three not even 10 but 32 conversation starters that you can go through and just memorize a few it will come in handy and i'll leave the link in the description below there are lots of questions you can ask to keep the conversation going but most importantly know when enough is enough because sometimes you get carried away the evening's going great she's engaging you talking back and you forget that maybe she was with some friends or she has other she had other things to do before you came along so know when exactly to walk away and
to stop and to just sort of leave her hanging for the next time if there'll be a next time and what you can do is leave your number as well listen people don't just get up and try to be rude to other people yes they're those who are naturally rude but largely if you don't give a woman a reason to be rude she won't be it's all in your approach it's all in what you say and how you engage her and how you make her feel the experience that she has with you is the most
important thing so keep that in mind and go out there and have some of the best conversations you'll have with a woman you're into see you later [Music]
