I'm not here to tell you all of the things you already know about impostor syndrome I'm here to tell you all of the ways it will sneak upon you the impact this will have in your growth how it looks in every single area of your life even dating the mindset shifts that will transform this insecurity into unbreakable confidence and finally actionable and practical Solutions so that you can overcome your impostor syndrome for good and become the best version of yourself today if you've seen my videos before then you already know you're about to walk away
with hella motivation inspiration and all of your problems solved if you're new here welcome on this side of the internet we focus on helping you become your best self by teaching you all of the information Google won't teach you Google is so vague it's always like Embrace positive selft talk just be healthy okay how how and I am here to break it all down for you as always here at the video chapters be sure to check out all of the links in my description you can pre-order my book which is launching this August on Amazon
and in bookstores to learn how to love yourself completely and radically along with the LS to all of my other social medias and even my second YouTube channel where you can watch How I went to New York to celebrate hitting 1 million subscribers and before we get right into it this video has been brought to you by Squarespace Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online and it does not matter if you've never had any experience of business in your life or whether you are literally growing the biggest business
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10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using the link squarespace.com slore chapter one signs and examples that you are experiencing imposter syndrome and of course we're not going to go through the usual definitions that you've probably heard before like feeling a fraud when you're in certain rooms or in a certain business environment or feeling like you're not deserving of your successes and achievements no I'm about to break down all of the signs and examples that you may be suffering with imposter syndrome that might show up in your dating life in your
relationships in basically any scenario because sometimes it can creep up on you and you don't even know that you have it and imposter syndrome is so dangerous in breaking down your confidence your selfworth and your ability to attract your dream life and actually go after it so it's important to firstly recognize how and where you are struggling with this because you might be good work but it might be impacting your relationships for example the first sign of this is when you feel like you haven't done well enough even though everyone else is validating you cheering
you want and telling you how incredibly you've done your bus at work could literally say this is the best piece of work I've ever seen and you still there's a little piece of you that doubts yourself and the reason this is imposter syndrome is because perfectionism is another form of imposter syndrome which is where you never quite believe that you're as good as how other people make you out to be sign number two is when you're so so hyper aware of the progress you have yet to make in whatever situation you're in that you fail
to give yourself credit for where you are right now or how far you've come and because of this you feel guilty for the opportunities you have because you're so aware of well I still have this much experience to get or I still need to learn these skills you feel like well I clearly don't know enough even though you've come a very long way or you think I'm not deserving of this and you're just fixated on the fact that you're not an expert yet and you don't have as much experience as everyone else so you you
won't allow yourself to give yourself credit where it's due this links into sign number three which is when you always feel like there is another step let's say you're a YouTuber and you've hit 100,000 subscribers the celebration of that will be very short before you're then wondering how you're going to get to a million and all of the celebrations and the achievement and the self- Lov and confidence you could give yourself for getting as far as you did is out the window because you're still too much of a small YouTuber you still haven't done good
enough okay you've hit a million well why aren't you the best in the industry yet why aren't you the top YouTuber in the world why are you not a celebrity yet and that is what your mind does and it's not even about being the best in your job or your industry because even if you were your impostor syndrome in your brain would still invent new ways and new steps for you to achieve just so that you can feel good enough but the catches you never will because the impostor syndrome won't let you sign four if
you're in a relationship and you have imposter syndrome what does this look like you'll feel like you're not good enough for your partner you're lucky to have them they're probably going to need for someone better one day you better be on your best behavior to earn them and make sure they stay and love you so they don't find out the real you and then get the ick or fall out of love with you you basically feel like you have to be on your best behavior and be the best possible partner in the world without making
any mistakes so that you can earn their love every single day instead of what most people in normal relationships do which is know that the love is always going to be there without you having to be perfect even on your bad days when you've made mistakes the love St still stays and it is still deserved sign five okay but what if you're just dating somebody and you have imposter syndrome what does that look like basically you're going to feel like you're Unworthy of affection and you're going to feel kind of guilty when they go the
extra mile for you let's say they booked a super fancy restaurant or they're getting the bill or they bought you a gift you also always wonder why they even like you like you're not even good enough for them or they might be out of your league or like are you even attractive enough for them are they even going to like you without makeup or when they don't see you in a certain outfit or in a different environment you have this fear that they only like the idea of you and that you're going to be found
out soon and then they're just going to leave because you're not good enough as you are sign number six what does imposter Syndrome look like in Friendship well when you're friends with someone your brain is going to play tricks on You by saying why are they even friends with me are they just hanging out with me to be nice do they actually like me or do they secretly judge me they probably have other friends that they're way closer to and I'm just like a Pity hangout do they dislike my opinions and what I say are
they just waiting to find someone better to hang out with and I'm just a placeholder in the meantime a lot of the time you feel like a burden in this friendship like you take up too much time or you're too inconvenient or you need to fit yourself into a box or mirror their personality because you're just not likable enough as you are sign number seven impostor syndrome in the workplace basically you feel like you're faking it and because of this feeling it stops you from taking risks in the workplace and seizing New Opportunities because you
don't feel like you're actually cut out to have them for example promotions and taking on new projects and because you feel like like you're faking it or you somehow got into a job that you think you're unqualified for but no one quite knows yet you want to avoid others finding out about your shortcomings so you try to keep yourself small and not take up too much space or go after things like promotions because it might be the fact that you got into a job but you're like oh my God I made mistakes here or I
get confused in meetings or I don't have this knowledge yet Etc and then finally for this chapter sign number eight what does impostor syndrome generally look like in our personal lives the example I'm going to use here is the relationship you have with yourself how you perceive and feel about yourself on a daily basis and impostor syndrome will have you not seeing and not identifying with the current version of yourself but instead a past version of yourself and most likely that past version of yourself is nowhere near who you are right now in fact that
version of yourself probably has limiting beliefs embarrassing moments a lot of Shame insecurity and you still see yourself as that person even though you are nowhere near them you have grown so much you are so much better now you have learned so much about yourself youve become stronger wiser more independent and yet you don't see it so this imposter syndrome continuously validates all of the limiting beliefs you used to hold about yourself so you could be in your mid 20s but you still on the inside feel like your awkward 15-year-old self where it's like why
are people looking at me why are people dating me because in school I didn't get any attention and you still think you're that same version of yourself which keeps you super small and insecure and that brings us to chapter number two mindset shifts now that we know all of the signs and examples as to what imposter syndrome entails we know this is all just is really down to insecurity and low selfworth so in this chapter I'm going to be giving you all of the mindset shifts that are going to help you build confidence so that
we can kick that imposter syndrome to the cup and to illustrate these mindset shifts as clearly as possible I want to bring back my favorite girls Lola and atha both of these girls have the same level of imposter syndrome they're both equally insecure and they have very low selfworth but they're dealing with it in very different ways Lola has more of a victim mindset and she's letting this imposter Syndrome have power over her whereas a is taking an active step to try and change her Outlook so that she can become more confident this is what
they would normally say everything here feels so unfamiliar and uncomfortable to me I feel like I just shouldn't even be in this room like what am I doing here these feelings I'm having right now of how did I get here or how am I even in this room is a sign of my growth me feeling this way is just showing me that I am growing at such an amazingly rapid rate that I can't even keep up after all discomfort is the root of all success oh my God I could have done so much better at
that if only I worked harder and then maybe I could have gotten perfect results my questioning of how well I could have done at this thing is a sign that I care about my achievements and I am a highly ambitious individual like this just shows that I'm always driving to do better and grow and that is so slay of me but it should probably be paired with some conscious gratitude and self-pride for what I have achieved so far I don't get why I'm getting so much attention other people in this industry know so much more
than me I barely know anything compared to them comparing myself to all of these other people isn't just a greeting branch for jealousy and resentment but also imposter syndrome like I'm really never going to feel good enough because everybody else looks like they have it all together but they were all at this point that I'm at right now as well and they're just further along in their Journey than I am therefore their accomplishments are irrelevant because they've been doing this a lot longer than I am so why would I compare my step one to their
step 100 I feel a lot more confident when I compare myself to who I was yesterday and how much I've grown since then than some stranger who has nothing to do with my unique life path and my potential I don't know it just feels weird that all of these people are praising me because I'm actually so disorganized and I've made so many mistakes in the past like what if I mess up again and all these people think I'm so perfect but it's just not true it feels so weird to me getting one of these compliments
because I screwed up so many times in my life but then again who hasn't anyone who's inspired others Chang the world or won an award has probably made thousands of mistakes but they're still worthy of the achievement so why would I hold myself to such an unrealistic expectation that every human error I make must form my entire IDE identity and dismiss any good that I do I can just choose to shift my focus so that my entire identity is centered around my skill or my potential rather than how people have insulted me in the past
or given me certain insecurities you see the difference and finally chapter number three these are solutions to overcoming impostor syndrome slash the homework chapter cuz they basically blend together these are practical steps that you can start right now to implement some of the mindset shifts that you've learned in this video but also new like lifestyle shifts that you can start introducing to become your most confident self step number one identity switching remember earlier on when I spoke about identifying as an awkward 15-year-old self even though you're in your mid-20s you've come such a long way
and that isn't your life or yourself anymore well that was actually a very personal example from my own life when I was in my 20s and in University I was all of a sudden getting attention and making friends and your girl was not used to any of that in fact I felt weird about receiving any of that and like I didn't deserve it because throughout my teen years I was so awkward and shy and couldn't talk to anyone that I felt a lot like an impostor and to prevent this from interfering with my life and
my goals and going after bigger things because imposter syndrome will do that okay even if you're like oh I'm happy with what I've got or like I'm so lucky to have these things you're going to be lulled into this sense of comfort that prevents you from going after even bigger things which was always in your potential but you just weren't aware of it because you didn't identify with the highest potential version of yourself which was going to go out and get that you're so fixated on who you were in the past that you couldn't even
think of how to get this thing that was always waiting for you and so to make sure that that didn't happen to me my new thing is I identity switch meaning to ensure that I'm always seeing myself in my Highest Potential as who I am right now today every single morning I wake up and I act like this is the first day of my life but with all of the wisdom and knowledge that I've accumulated to this point so you're telling me I'm waking up today as a girl with a million subscribers who owns her
own apartment who lives in a good city has good friends is in a healthy loving relationship and I have no baggage from the past in fact I have no past I literally have no past I have all of the lessons and the knowledge that resides in my brain but none of the insec what insecurities what I don't know what you're talking about none of the Heartbreak none of the limiting beliefs none of the insults that other people have told me my entire life it's as easy as that because me in the past that was none
of my business I like to wake up and think what would 23-year-old me with her own apartment who's successful who has a job who is financially independent what would she do not all of these things have happened in my life but what about when I messed up last year or what about when I failed at that business when I was 17 irrelevant solution number two self love the best way to make sure that you recognize that you are deserving of all of the success in the world is by incorporating self-loving habits into your life consistently
so yes this includes positive selft talk affirmations manifesting having a good morning routine nourishing your body all of that stuff but also things like stepping outside of your comfort zone showing up for your future self doing favors for your younger self and especially celebrating every small win on a daily BAS you always need to remind yourself what you're proud for until you no longer need to give yourself reminders because now that thought Loop is already ingrained in your brain your brain is now used to because you've made it a habit to seek out the good
in every day to seek out the wins you've made every single day and what that is to TI yourself on the back for instead of the negative thought Loop that it's been trapped in so far so an example of this is I'll turn up to a networking event alone and I will not want to go cuz I'm scared and it's awkward and I don't know who's going to be there or if I'm going to have a good time and I'm going alone and and there's new people and it's so outside of my confident Zone but
I know when I walk out I'm going to be like yo I did that I was scared and I still showed up I was uncomfortable and I said if I do this My Future Self is going to be in a much better position because she's going to have experience in this she's going to have a better Network she would have learned the skill of how to walk up and talk to strangers that's a win and so you also need to incorporate new things to celebrate about yourself every single day intentionally this links into solution number
three which is your portfolio of proof if you're new here then you might not know about this but I introduced this concept in one of my first videos which was my entire guide on how to master confidence which went a little bit viral but my concept of portfolio of proof is the reason that we experience self-doubt in the first place is because our mind is so focused on what we lack rather than what we have and the more we step outside of our comfort zone and the more that we do confidence validating things the larger
the portfolio of proof in our head grows portfolio of proof is basically this mental file that you have so that any time you experience self-doubt you refer back to it and you're like wait a second I'm scared to do this thing but what about that time that I was scared to do that other thing and I did it and then what about the other time that this felt uncomfortable but I did it and then I was fine and you have all of these references but the only way you build up the portfolio of proof is
to go out and do things that fit into it so you need to engage in exposure therapy which is doing what scares you repeatedly until you're numb to it if you feel like you've already done a lot in your life then instead you don't even need to go out and do anything just simply put together even a physical document or file of your your achievements this could even be reading back old journal entries or watching home movies of yourself or going back in your camera roll and being like Oh my God remember when I aced
that test when I was 16 or when I was in that play when I was 14 or when I got my first job when I was 21 like and all of those times you were so scared and you thought you were going to fall down and fail and yet you did it but because a few years have passed you completely forget how many times you have conquered your own fears and go above and beyond to achieve but because we're so focused on the next step and the next goal all we think about is how we
don't have that thing yet and yet there's a trail of all of these successes behind you so start paying attention to them the next solution is to get vulnerable as with anything it's always useful to speak to loved ones whether it be family friends your partner your siblings about your struggles because you don't know who else is going through it and if you tell someone like hey do you ever feel like when you're at work you feel like you don't really deserve the attention you're getting or the praise you're getting and you kind of feel
a bit like an imposter imagine they go oh my God same and then you have someone to lean on confide it and you become a support system for each other not only is your friendship going to get so much closer but your confidence will grow because vulnerability and confidence go hand inand with growing each other and also you have advice you have that validation and that Comfort if you don't feel comfortable doing this I would say literally search on YouTube imposter syndrome on Tik Tok as well because I love Tik Tok because people are so
authentic and vulnerable on there with their struggles it invalidates a little bit the power that impostor syndrome has over you because when you hear somebody else going through you realize oh this was never about me this wasn't about my inability to achieve something or or the fact that I don't deserve something or the fact that I'm a fraud this is a genuine lack of confidence that affects a lot of people and you get to detach from it as this is just a syndrome this has nothing to do with who I actually am and what my
abilities are the next solution is to do a SWAT analysis SWAT stands for strengths weaknesses opportunities and threats and if you don't know what this is here's a picture of it on the screen this graph is super simple in the box that says strengths you list out your own strengths in weaknesses list out your weaknesses your opportunities and threats threats could be the way you self sabotage the fact that you procrastinate the fact that you have work early in the morning and it prevents you from going to the gym and just little things like that
when you write it out like what can I take advantage of oh I have two more free hours after work than most people do how can I take advantage of that that's my opportunity and you know if this is my threat it starts getting you thinking how can I combat this and the reason the SWAT analysis is so effective is you are basically telling imposter syndrome I'm about to make you my and I am going to make this a moment of productivity instead because truthfully imposter syndrome only stems from you being a high achiever who
is ambitious and wants to grow and so you might as well use it to your advantage that because you care so much about a particular thing which is why you have imposter syndrome in the first place you instead channel that energy attention and effort into doing a SWAT analysis so that you can become more aware of your strengths which will make you more confident but also all these perceived weaknesses you have you can start to work on and then lastly the last solution SL homework task for this video is of course exposure therapy but not
just any exposure therapy exposure therapy to failure in particular imposter syndrome is this feeling of wanting to hide your true self and portray a certain image but when you openly and voluntarily fail it makes impostor syndrome impossible because there's literally nothing to fake anymore and at the same time you'll realize this narrative and all these horrible outcomes you made up in your head about being found out or not being worthy of anything or losing or failing was never as bad as you thought it was going to be therefore making this whole entire syndrome invalid let's
take public speaking for example let's say you're super scared you're like oh my God I shouldn't be on that stage I'm so shy and when I was younger I couldn't talk to anybody and I'm going to stutter and I don't even know how to speak if you go out and you're like I'm going to do my best and if I stutter so be it that is my lesson in exposure therapy the more I fail the more I can combat imposter syndrome because if you go out there with that mindset of if I fail it's completely
fine cuz it's going to benefit me if you do fail you'll come out nothing's going to happen because it's no biggie so many people stutter on stage so many people mess up public speaking and slowly the more that you expose yourself to that I'm not saying this is a one-off like you have to do stuff like this weekly you start to realize failure isn't a bad thing failure doesn't make you Unworthy of love or care or achievement or success it's a normal part in your journey and the impostor syndrome you'll find will start to fade
away and that brings us to the end of this video I hope you guys enjoyed it I actually loved filming this one it was so good please comment down below letting me know what you learned from this video and what you're going to be implementing I would love to know be sure to check out all of my links Below in the description and check out my Vlog Chann Channel cuz honestly it's quite lit over there and you get to learn so much about me but also you get to see me living out everything I speak
about on this channel so you can click the link below to go and watch that thank you guys so much for watching I appreciate you and I will see you same time next week on Friday for a new one [Music]
