Parents Stole My College Fund by Claiming I Was Mentally Disabled While Paying for My Sister’s...

Parents stole my college fund by claiming I was mentally disabled while paying for my sister's college. Now they might owe me over $150,000 after I discovered what they did. I found out last week that my parents had a college fund for me that they drained to pay for my sister's education.

I'm 24 now and my sister is 20. I never went to college because my parents always told me they couldn't afford to help me. They insisted if I wanted to go to college, I'd have to figure it out myself.

So, I didn't go. I started working right after high school. first at a gas station and then I moved to a retail job at a mall.

I've been working full-time for about six years now. My sister started college two years ago. She's going to this private university that costs something like $45,000 a year.

I always assumed she got scholarships or financial aid or something. I never really asked about it because honestly, I was trying not to be bitter about it. When I was in high school, I had good grades.

I was in the honor society. I wanted to study business or accounting, but my parents kept saying they couldn't help me financially. They repeatedly claimed they didn't have money for college.

They suggested I try for scholarships, but they couldn't contribute anything. Community college was an option, but even for that, I would be on my own. I found out about the college fund completely by accident.

I was at my parents house last Sunday for dinner. They have these monthly family dinners that they insist we all attend. My sister was there, too.

After dinner, my dad asked me to get some files from his office for him. He was helping my uncle with taxes or something. I went to his office and started looking through the filing cabinet for the folder he asked for.

I found a folder with my name on it. I wasn't snooping. I swear it was right there when I was looking for the tax stuff.

I opened it thinking maybe it was old school records or something. It was bank statements, a lot of them, from an account in my name that I never knew existed. The account was opened when I was born.

My grandparents and my parents had been putting money into it for years. The statements showed regular deposits until I was about 18. The last statement in the folder showed a balance of just over $13,000.

There was a note on it that said transferred to Emily's education fund with a date from 4 years ago. Emily is my sister. I took the folder with me when I went back downstairs.

I asked my parents what it was. My mom looked scared when she saw what I was holding. My dad got angry.

According to him, I had no business going through their personal files. I pointed out that the account had my name on it, so it seemed like my business. That's when my mom started crying.

My dad made me sit down and they explained that yes, there had been a college fund for me. But since I chose not to go to college, they decided to use the money for my sister instead. I reminded them that I didn't choose not to go.

They had told me they couldn't help me. They told me for years that they had no money for my education. All through high school, whenever I talked about college, they shut it down.

They knew I wanted to go. They knew I'd applied to schools and got accepted, but they kept saying they couldn't afford it, so I gave up and got a job instead. My dad insisted I should be happy that the money went to help my sister.

According to his logic, at least it stayed in the family. My sister was sitting there the whole time looking uncomfortable. She claimed she didn't know the money had been meant for me.

She thought our parents had saved it for her education specifically. My mom was still crying and insisting they did what they thought was best. I left.

I just got up and walked out. I went back to my apartment and I've been ignoring their calls and texts since then. My sister texted me saying she was sorry and she didn't know.

My parents have called like 20 times. My mom left voicemails saying they want to explain. I don't know what to do now.

That money could have changed my life. I could have gone to college. I could have a different job now, a career.

Instead, I've been working retail for 6 years while my sister gets to go to an expensive private university with my money. I've been doing research online about whether what they did was legal. The account was in my name, but I think because I was a minor when it was set up, they were probably the custodians of the account.

I'm not sure if they legally did anything wrong by transferring the money out when I turned 18. Morally, it feels incredibly wrong. A friend suggested I talk to a lawyer.

Another friend said I should just cut contact with my family and move on. I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to find out if I have any legal right to that money.

Even if I can't get it all back, maybe I could get some of it. I could still go to college. I'm only 24.

It's not too late. My apartment lease is up for renewal next month. I was thinking about moving anyway to a cheaper place farther from the city.

Now I'm wondering if I should move farther away, maybe to a different state, get away from my family entirely. But that feels like letting them off the hook. I called my grandparents.

They're my mom's parents. They're the ones who started the college fund when I was born. They had no idea the money had gone to my sister.

They thought I had chosen not to use it. They were shocked when I told them what happened. My grandfather was going to call my parents and sort this out.

I haven't heard anything since then. Edit: You guys have convinced me to look for a lawyer. So, tomorrow I'm going to call around to some lawyers and see if I can get a free consultation.

I need to know if I have any legal options here. Even if I decide not to pursue them, I want to know what's possible. Then, I'll decide what to do about my family.

Update one. It's been 3 weeks since I found out about the college fund. I talked to a lawyer.

I found one who offers free initial consultations and met with him last Monday. I brought copies of the bank statements I took from my parents house. After reviewing them, he suggested I might have a case depending on exactly how the account was set up.

If it was a custodial account under the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act, then legally the money became mine when I turned 18 or 21, depending on the state rules. If my parents transferred it after that point without my consent, they might have committed financial fraud. The lawyer needed to see the original account documents to know for sure.

He asked if I was willing to request those from the bank or ask my parents for them. I decided to try the bank first. He informed me of his fees, which I can't afford right now.

His recommendation was to try resolving it directly with my parents first and only pursue legal action if that doesn't work. I went to the bank the next day. It's a local credit union where my parents have always banked.

I asked about the account and showed my ID. The bank officer couldn't give me any information because my name wasn't on the account anymore. I left the bank and sat in my car for an hour.

I finally decided to text my parents. I told them I wanted the original account documents and an explanation of what happened to the money. My dad responded immediately, insisting they would explain everything if I came over to talk in person.

I refused, demanding the documents first. He didn't respond after that. My sister called me that night.

According to her, our parents were really upset. She maintained that she had no idea the money was originally meant for me. She swore if she had known, she would never have accepted it.

She requested that we talk in person. I agreed to meet her for coffee the next day. We met at a cafe halfway between our places.

She looked tired. She admitted she'd been struggling with guilt since finding out. According to her, our parents had always claimed they were paying for her education from their savings and investments.

She never questioned it. She wanted to know my plans. After hearing about my meeting with a lawyer, she became upset and asked if I was really going to sue our parents.

I told her I didn't know yet, but I wanted the truth and I wanted what was rightfully mine. She worried that I was planning to make her drop out of college. I assured her that wasn't my goal.

She's already halfway through her program, but our parents needed to make this right somehow. She couldn't see how they could come up with that kind of money now. Most of it was already spent on her first two years of tuition and housing.

When I asked about the cost of her education, she revealed it was about $45,000 per year, including everything. That's $90,000 already spent from my fund with probably another $90,000 to go for her to finish. She had no scholarships or financial aid because our parents told her they had it covered, so she never applied for anything.

After meeting with my sister, I decided to email my parents. I wrote that I wanted to know exactly how the account was set up, when, and how they transferred the money, and what their plan was to make it right. My mom responded a few hours later.

According to her, the account was set up as a savings account when I was born with her and my dad as the account holders for my benefit. When I decided not to go to college, they assumed I didn't need the money and transferred it to help my sister. She apologized for not discussing it with me first.

I wrote back pointing out that I never decided not to go to college. They had told me they couldn't help me financially. I asked why they lied to me about having money for my education.

She avoided that part in her next email, just claiming they thought they were making the best decision for the family as a whole. They knew I was independent and could make my own way. While my sister needed more support, I've been looking into college options for myself.

There's a state university about 30 minutes from where I live that is evening and weekend classes. I could keep my job and take classes part-time, but even within state tuition, it would take me years to complete a degree that way, and I'd have to take out loans. The money that was meant for me would have covered my full education and living expenses just like it's doing for my sister now.

My grandparents called me again last week. They spoke to my parents. My grandfather was really angry about the whole situation.

They had contributed to my college fund for years with the understanding that it was for my education specifically. If he had known my parents were going to redirect it, he would have set it up differently. He offered to pay for the lawyer.

I accepted but picked up extra shifts at work to save money for legal fees just in case. Then I got an email from my dad. He wanted to put this whole misunderstanding behind us and move forward as a family.

He invited me to dinner on Sunday. I haven't responded yet. I don't see how this is a misunderstanding.

They lied to me for years and took money that was meant for me. I don't want to just pretend that didn't happen. I got a second job delivering food on weekends to try to save up faster.

Between my regular job and the delivery gig, I'm working about 60 hours a week now. It's exhausting, but it gives me less time to think about everything. My sister texted me again a few days ago.

Apparently, our parents have been fighting a lot since this all came out. Our mom cries all the time, and our dad is angry at everyone. She urged me again to talk to them and work something out.

I told her I'm still figuring out what to do. The lawyer contacted me again. After hearing what I found out from the bank, he explained that without seeing the original account documents, it's hard to know exactly what legal standing I have.

He suggested sending a formal letter to my parents requesting all documents related to the account and an accounting of how the money was spent. If they refuse, that would strengthen my case if I decided to pursue legal action later. I'm going to send that letter.

I drafted it last night and will mail it tomorrow. I still haven't decided if I'll go to dinner on Sunday. Part of me wants to avoid them entirely.

Another part wants to look them in the eye and ask how they could do this to me. I don't know which would be better. My lease renewal is due in 5 days.

I decided to stay in my current apartment for now. Moving would be expensive and I need to save every penny I can. Plus, I don't want to run away from this situation.

I want to resolve it somehow, even if that means legal action. I keep thinking about all the times I struggled financially over the last 6 years. The time my car broke down and I couldn't afford to fix it for 3 months.

So I took the bus for hours each day to get to work. The time I got sick and couldn't afford to go to the doctor. So I just suffered through it.

All the birthdays and holidays when I could barely afford small gifts for my family. All while they were sitting on a pile of money that was meant for me. The worst part is that I would have been fine if they had just been honest from the beginning.

If they had told me when I was in high school, "We have some money saved for your education, but not enough for a 4-year university, so you might want to consider community college first," I would have understood. I would have made different choices. But they lied and said they had nothing while planning to give it all to my sister instead.

My sister is studying art history. She wants to work in a museum someday. It's not a practical degree with great job prospects.

I wanted to study accounting. I could have had a solid career by now, but she gets to follow her dreams with my money while I work retail and deliver food on weekends. I haven't slept well in weeks.

I'm tired all the time, but when I lie down at night, my mind keeps racing. I keep imagining confrontations with my parents that never happen in real life. Update two.

It's been another month since my last update. A lot has happened. I didn't go to the family dinner.

Instead, I mailed the formal letter my lawyer helped me draft. I sent it certified mail so I would know when they received it. The letter requested all documents related to the account, a full accounting of how the money was spent and a plan for repayment.

I gave them 2 weeks to respond before I would pursue other options, which was the lawyer's diplomatic way of saying I'd sue them. 3 days after they received the letter, my dad showed up at my apartment. I wasn't expecting him.

He knocked on the door while I was getting ready for my evening delivery shift. When I opened the door, he pushed past me into the apartment. He had my letter in his hand.

He was red in the face. He started ranting about how I was ungrateful and how he couldn't believe I was threatening legal action against my own parents. According to him, they had provided for me my whole life and I had no right to demand anything from them now.

I stayed calm and told him that if he couldn't discuss this reasonably, he needed to leave. He got even angrier. In his view, I was tearing the family apart over money.

My sister was devastated that I would try to take away her education. My mother hadn't stopped crying since they got my letter. When I asked about the account documents, he claimed they didn't have them anymore.

I asked about the accounting of how the money was spent. Apparently, they didn't keep track of every penny. I pointed out that I wasn't asking for every penny, just a general breakdown.

According to him, the money went to my sister's tuition and housing, and that was all I needed to know. When I asked about the repayment plan, he really blew up. According to him, they had nothing to repay because the money was never legally mine.

They had always controlled the account and had the right to use it however they saw fit. He had hoped to help me with college, but when I chose a different path, they redirected the funds to my sister. I reminded him again that I never chose not to go to college.

They told me they couldn't help me financially. He claimed that was because they thought I wasn't serious about my education. I asked how they could possibly think that when I had good grades and was accepted to multiple schools.

He didn't have an answer for that. Finally, I told him he needed to leave. I had to get to work.

As he stood up, he warned me I needed to drop this whole thing if I wanted to remain part of the family. Then he left. I was shaking afterward.

I called in sick to my delivery job. I couldn't face dealing with customers after that. My mom started calling me the next day.

I didn't answer. Her voicemails pleaded that they wanted to work this out as a family. They loved me and didn't want to lose me over just money.

Family was more important than money. I texted her back that if family was more important than money, then they wouldn't have lied to me for years and given my college fund to my sister. My sister texted me, too.

Apparently, our dad came home from my place and punched a hole in the wall. Our mom had to take a day off work because she was so upset. She begged me to please drop the legal threats and talked to them.

She felt caught in the middle and didn't know what to do. She offered again to pay me back after she graduates, but admitted it would take her years. I talked to my lawyer again.

After hearing that my parents weren't providing any documents and were refusing to consider repayment, he explained we could file a lawsuit to compel them to provide the documents, but it would be expensive and there was no guarantee we would win. He suggested one more attempt at resolving it directly before taking legal action. I drafted another email to my parents.

I laid out exactly what I wanted, all documents related to the account, an accounting of how the money was spent, and a formal repayment agreement. I said I preferred to resolve this without going to court, but I was prepared to do so if necessary. I gave them one more week to respond.

5 days later, my dad emailed me. They had thought about it and were willing to repay me $20,000 over the next 5 years in monthly installments of about $333. That was all they could afford.

They hoped this would be enough for me to move on and repair our relationship. There was no mention of the account documents or the accounting I had requested. I forwarded the email to my lawyer.

He considered it a start, but without a formal agreement, there was no guarantee they would follow through with the payments. He also pointed out that $20,000 was far less than what I was entitled to, given that the account had over $13,000 in it when they transferred it. He advised me not to accept the offer without getting more information and putting everything in writing.

I replied to my dad's email. I appreciated their willingness to discuss repayment, but I still needed the account documents and an accounting of how the money was spent. I also pointed out that $20,000 was insufficient given the amount that was in the account.

I suggested they consider a larger repayment amount for a shorter time frame. My mom called me immediately after I sent that email. She was crying again.

According to her, they didn't have the documents anymore and couldn't possibly repay more than $20,000 without severe financial hardship. They were already planning to take out a second mortgage on their house to come up with that amount. She questioned if I really wanted to force my parents into debt just to punish them.

I told her this wasn't about punishment. It was about getting back what was rightfully mine. I reminded her that they had watched me struggle financially for years while sitting on money that was meant for me.

I asked her how she would feel if someone had done that to her. She didn't have an answer. She just kept insisting they thought they were doing what was best at the time.

My grandparents called me again last week. They asked for an update on the situation. I told them about my dad's visit, my parents offer of $20,000, and my lawyer's advice.

My grandfather got very quiet. Then he needed to look into something and would call me back. He called back the next day and asked me to meet him for lunch.

I agreed. We met at a restaurant near his house. My grandmother came, too.

They seemed nervous. My grandfather had been going through some old files and found something I should see. He handed me a folder.

Inside was a copy of his and my grandmother's will from 15 years ago along with some other documents. He pointed to a section of the will that mentioned a trust fund established for my education. The trust was to be managed by my parents until I turned 18, at which point it would transfer to me for educational purposes.

I asked if this was the same account I had discovered. He thought so, but wasn't sure. He had contributed to a college fund for me since I was born, and this trust was part of that.

There had been other contributions too from my parents and from some life insurance money when my other grandparents died. I asked why they had changed their will since then. He looked confused and insisted they hadn't.

I pointed out that if this was still in their current will but they were still alive, how could my parents have access the money? He didn't know. The trust shouldn't have been accessible to my parents at all.

It should have transferred to me when I turned 18. I took the documents to my lawyer the next day. After reviewing them, he explained this changed things significantly.

If the money came from a trust established by my grandparents, and the terms of the trust stated it was to transfer to me at 18, then my parents had no right to redirect it. We needed to find out exactly what happened to that trust and how my parents gained access to it. He drafted a more formal legal letter demanding all documents related to the trust and any accounts associated with it.

If my parents refused to provide these documents, we would file a lawsuit and subpoena the records from the bank. Based on what my grandparents had shown me, we had a much stronger case than he initially thought. I sent the letter via certified mail again.

My parents received it 3 days ago. My dad called me immediately after receiving it. He was furious.

He couldn't believe I was involving lawyers and threatening to sue my own parents. I was breaking my mother's heart. If I went through with this, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I stayed calm and told him that I just wanted the truth and what was rightfully mine. If they had nothing to hide, they should have no problem providing the documents I requested. He hung up on me.

My sister texted me later that day. Apparently, our parents had told her everything now. She asked if we could meet again to talk.

We met at the same cafe as before. She looked even more tired than last time. Our parents had been fighting constantly since the latest letter arrived.

Our mom finally admitted to her that they had used some of the money for things other than her education. She wasn't sure what exactly, but she gathered it was for home renovations and a trip to Europe they took 3 years ago. She felt sick thinking about it.

I told her about what my grandparents had shown me. She started crying. She didn't know what to do.

She was halfway through her degree program and couldn't afford to continue without our parents' support. She asked if I was really going to sue them. I told her I didn't want to, but I needed the truth and I needed justice.

She nodded and said she understood. Yesterday, I got an email from my mom. They were willing to increase their repayment offer to $50,000 to be paid over three years.

They would try to get copies of the account documents from the bank. She begged me not to take legal action until they had a chance to make this right. I forwarded the email to my lawyer.

He viewed the increased offer as a sign they were taking this seriously now, but it was still far less than what I was likely entitled to, especially if they had used the money for purposes other than my sister's education. He advised me to wait and see what documents they provided before making any decisions about the offer. So, that's where things stand now.

I'm waiting for my parents to provide the documents they promised. My lawyer is preparing a lawsuit just in case they don't. My sister is caught in the middle, worried about her education and the family falling apart.

My grandparents are upset that their wishes for my education weren't honored. And I'm still working two jobs, trying to save enough money to maybe start taking classes part-time next semester while also dealing with all of this. I still haven't been sleeping well.

The extra work hours aren't helping with that. But at least now I feel like I'm making progress towards some kind of resolution. I don't know if my relationship with my parents can ever be repaired after this.

But I know I can't just let it go. Not when they took something that was rightfully mine and lied about it for years. Not when they watched me struggle while they used my money for their own purposes.

Not when they gave my sister opportunities they denied to me. I need the truth. I need justice.

And I need the chance at education that should have been mine all along. Update three. Two more weeks have passed.

My parents finally provided some of the documents I requested. They sent copies of the original account setup, statements from various years, and the transfer paperwork from 4 years ago. My lawyer looked everything over.

What we discovered was worse than I thought. The account wasn't just a college fund set up by my parents. It was a trust established by my grandparents specifically for my education.

They set it up when I was born with an initial deposit of $25,000. The terms of the trust stated that the money was to be used exclusively for my educational expenses. My parents were named as trustees until I turned 18, at which point I was supposed to become the primary beneficiary with direct access.

The statements showed regular deposits from my grandparents over the years. There were also smaller deposits from my parents, though not as consistent. When my paternal grandparents died when I was 12, a portion of their life insurance money was added to the trust as well.

By the time I graduated high school, the account had over $13,000 in it. Here's where it gets really bad. According to the transfer paperwork, when I turned 18, my parents went to the bank and somehow convinced them to transfer the trusteeship to them permanently rather than releasing it to me as specified in the original documents.

They claimed I was mentally incapable of managing the funds. They forged documents saying I had some kind of cognitive disability that prevented me from making financial decisions. They got a doctor to sign off on this.

I have no idea who this doctor is or how they got him to do it because I've never been diagnosed with any cognitive disability. With the trusteeship transferred to them, they had full control of the account. They kept it in my name for two more years, then transferred all the money out when my sister was about to start college.

They transferred most of it to an account for her education, but not all of it. About $30,000 went to other accounts. Based on the dates, this lines up with the home renovation and European vacation my sister mentioned.

My lawyer explained this was clear fraud. They falsified medical documents, misrepresented my mental capacity, and violated the terms of the trust set up by my grandparents. We had a strong case for a lawsuit, and we could potentially go after not just the original amount, but additional damages as well.

I was shocked when I saw all this. I knew they had lied to me about the money, but I never imagined they would go so far as to forge medical documents claiming I was mentally disabled. It feels like such a deep betrayal.

I couldn't even process it at first. I just sat in my lawyer's office staring at the papers. My lawyer suggested we give my parents one more chance to resolve this before filing a lawsuit.

He drafted a demand letter spelling out exactly what we had discovered and what we knew they had done. He demanded full repayment of the original $13,000 plus an additional $30,000 to account for what they had diverted for non-educational purposes plus interest on the entire amount for the four years since they transferred it. The total came to just over $150,000.

He gave them 10 days to agree to a repayment plan or face a lawsuit. I sent the letter certified mail again. Two days later, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize.

It was a lawyer representing my parents. They wanted to discuss a settlement. My lawyer advised me not to talk to their lawyer directly and said he would handle all communications going forward.

The two lawyers spoke the next day. My lawyer called me afterward to update me. My parents were now offering $75,000 as a settlement to be paid in monthly installments over 5 years.

He advised me to reject this offer is still inadequate given what we now knew. He suggested countering with a demand for the full $150,000, but with a more extended payment plan if needed. While the lawyers were talking, my sister called me and told me she was considering dropping out and getting a job to help pay me back.

I told her not to drop out. This mess wasn't her fault. I assured her we would work something out that wouldn't destroy her education.

She thanked me for that and expressed how angry she was at our parents for putting us in this position. She moved out of their house and was staying with a friend because she couldn't stand to be around them after learning what they had done. I'm exhausted from all of this and need to rest now.

I'll update when I have more information about what happens with the settlement negotiations. Right now, I can barely keep my eyes open after working both jobs and dealing with all this legal and family drama. Thanks for reading this far.

I'll be back with more when I can.