My Parents Want to Force Me to Hand Over My College Savings to Pay for My Sister's Apartment, But...

my parents want to force me to hand over my college savings to pay for my sister's apartment but when they kick me out they ruin their reputation with the family that hates them my family has been going through a difficult Financial time recently and I considering the situation got a job so I could afford my college education but their expectations are completely unrealistic last week they told me I had to use my college savings to help my sister because she was about to move into a new place but was short on money for context my

dad left his job a couple of years ago to start a new business unfort Co hit right at that moment and his business couldn't take off as expected but he didn't lose hope and kept working hard on it he's still working on it and things are slowly improving so that's good news for him however that also means that we haven't had enough money to maintain our lifestyle for a long time my mom has always been a stay-at-home mom so getting a job was Unthinkable for her because it wasn't something she wanted to do our parents

told us that we had to find a way to live on our own they would support us until we turned 18 but after that it would be difficult for them to save for their own retirement while also taking care of us they had already used a significant amount of their savings so that we could continue living as we were used to during the lockdown and everything that followed so my sister and I had to take care of ourselves after turning 18 a couple of weeks ago I finally graduated from high school and am now 18

years old so I knew I would have to cover my college expenses on my own I had everything planned out because I had been working since I was 16 and had done a couple of internships I managed to save money from that maybe it wasn't enough to cover all of college but with a student loan I could make it work my sister is 22 now and just graduated she also took out a student loan but she had no Savings of her own even while she was in college she didn't bother to work and that's her

choice I'm not going to judge her for that but I am judging her for expecting me her younger brother to cover the rent for her first apartment now that she's moving out of our parents house to start working she and some high school friends are renting an apartment together and all of them have already paid their share but she's short just a couple of thousand from the expected amount she doesn't want to tell her friends that our family isn't exactly in a stable financial situation right now because that would be quite embarrassing for her though

I really don't understand that if they're truly her friends why would they judge her that's why her friends can't cover her part for now and she would have to pay them back later our parents had already told us that after turning 18 we shouldn't expect any financial support from them so that leaves me the worst part is that she didn't even come to ask me for the money herself she told our parents she needed and they handled the conversation with me instead to be honest my sister and I don't get along very well we're just

very different and I was actually a little relieved when she told us she was moving out because having her back home after she graduated from college for a few weeks until she found a job was quite exhausting for me last week when this happened we were all still living together I'm going to start college in a couple of months and my uncle and Aunt have already co-signed my loan my sister was supposed to move out a few days ago though I don't know what happened with that 3 days before she was supposed to move my

parents came to my room and told me she was only a couple of thousand short they knew I had been saving money for college so they wanted me to use those savings for this and help my sister they even assured me that she would pay me back as soon as possible although she could have talked to me directly which would have been much more respectful to be honest I didn't even know how she could afford the rent since as far as I know she hadn't worked a single day and I didn't think she had any

savings of her own but apparently she did have some just not enough but that wasn't my problem and I told my parents that it was her own fault for not working while she was in college even though she knew our parents wouldn't be supporting us as adults now not being able to pay the rent for her first apartment was a problem she had created herself and she was going to have to solve it on her own besides covering my college expenses was far more important than her ability to move in with her friends I thought

my parents would be reasonable and understand why I didn't want to share my savings with her since until now they had never been the kind of parents who treated my sister and me differently but instead they started making a big fuss about how I was acting and told me I was being very selfish they thought it would be easy to convince me I don't know why and when I refused to help her they started arguing with me after a really bad argument with my parents about this my dad lost control at one point he told

me that if I was going to be selfish and not share my savings with my sister that meant I didn't value my family as much as they expected so they would behave the same way with me be selfish and ask me to leave the house basically my only two options were to help my sister and share my savings with her or be kicked out of the house I chose the second option because honestly that was very humiliating for me I never expected my parents to use the fact that I depended on them for a while

at least until I started college against me but I guess their priority now is my sister and I'm not sure but I think it was because they didn't want anyone to know that our family wasn't financially well off if my sister had been honest with her friends and asked them to cover her she would have had to tell them all about our financial situation since they're high school friends their parents would have found out as well and those parents know my parents well since it's a small close-knit neighborhood so I guess that's why they didn't

want my sister telling anyone what was going on in fact they had put a lot of effort into hiding the fact that we were having financial problems not even anyone in the family knew except for my uncle and his wife my uncle is my dad's older brother and since he was one of the First Investors in my dad's business of course he's aware of everything initially my dad was even against the idea of my uncle co-signing my loan but in the end he had to accept it since co-signing both my sisters and my loan applications

could backfire on him so even though he didn't like the idea of being even more indebted to my uncle he had to let me turn to him for help they weren't even asking me to study at a nearby University I was going to a university in another state which would be even more expensive anyway I knew their reputation meant a lot to them and I knew they were doing everything possible to make sure no one found out how much they were struggling after the fight I had with my parents I left home I still couldn't

accept the fact that they had kicked me out just because I refused to follow their rules it was insulting and humiliating so I decided to take advantage of the fact that their reputation and money meant so much to them after that argument I immediately started packing my things and my parents didn't even make an effort to stop me that night I packed everything I needed put it in a bag then took a taxi and headed to my uncle's house I felt a little guilty about constantly bothering him but when I got there and explained the

situation he told me I was welcome to stay with him and his wife for as long as I wanted their kids were already adults and living independently so now I'm staying in my cousin's old room when I left my parents stood at the door and didn't try to stop me even when my uncle called my dad to talk to him about what was happening with me my dad made it clear that if I wasn't going to think about my family and put them first then I had no place in their home it was ironic that

they called me selfish but in my opinion they were the ones truly being selfish for the past last week I've been living with my uncle and Aunt they've been very kind but that still hasn't helped distract me my uncle and Aunt keep telling me that everything will be fine and that they're sure my parents will come to their senses eventually and apologize to me but I'm not so sure anymore yesterday afternoon I was feeling particularly down and then I don't know what came over me I just decided I needed to talk about this but I

was also feeling very vengeful so instead of venting to my friends I decided to post on Facebook and tell the whole truth I wrote a post with every little detail about what had happened and completely exposed my parents and then I hit the post button after that I set my phone aside and went out for a walk because I knew that as soon as they found out about the post my parents would start flooding my phone with calls I hadn't blocked them anywhere so far because I was hoping they would reach out to me at

some point but in the past week they hadn't even bothered to ask how I was doing anyway when I got back to my uncle's house from my walk after 30 minutes both my uncle and Aunt looked very serious they told me they had read my post and didn't think it was necessary at this time but since I had already posted it without even talking to them about it the only thing I could do was apologize to them for not giving them a heads up I was just feeling really down and wanted to get back at

my parents somehow they seemed a little disappointed but they didn't say much so at least I was okay on that front however when I got back to my phone I saw that I had several missed calls and messages from my parents just as I expected all the messages were along the same lines they said they had been right to ask me to leave the house because it was obvious I couldn't think about anyone but myself and that I was truly selfish with this post I had proven that I was also a bad person they accused

me of ruining their reputation by making it seem like they were the villains here and that they had purposely kicked me out even though it had been my decision to leave because I preferred to abandon my family when they needed my help rather than stay and be there for them most of the messages were very angry and I felt somewhat Vindicated because at least now they were feeling exactly the Betrayal and disappointment I had felt over the past week while I was reading the messages I got another call from my mom and this time I

decided to answer it as soon as I picked up the phone I regretted it because she was crying as if someone had died and I could hear my dad yelling at me in the background He was cursing at me while my mom tried to talk to me through her sobs it was a little hard to understand what she was saying but I could make out that she was trying to get me to delete the post many of our relatives had messaged them saying it was unacceptable for them to try to force me to help them

financially because I was still so young and had my own future to think about instead in of helping my sister they were just taking money from one child to give to the other and that wasn't fair my mom was trying to make it seem like I hadn't told the whole story in my post acting as if I had framed the story in a way that made them look like the villains but honestly I had just shared my side of things and I don't think it was my fault that our relatives didn't agree with their behavior

besides this is social media I can share whatever I want but at least I had the decency to tell the complete truth and not hide any details my mom started saying that if I was going to share my side of things then I should have also mentioned how they had always supported my sister and me when it was possible for them now they only expected us to help each other because it was hard for them to do so she wanted me to post something about how extravagant our lifestyle had been while my dad was supporting

us then I started feeling really guilty because that was true both my sister and I had been spoiled by our parents and they had gone out of their way to make sure we were well taken care of when my dad was making a lot of money but still I don't think that excuses the kind of behavior I've had to f face recently the most important thing is that my parents were upset because I decided to make this information public even though I knew that the last thing they wanted was for people to find out they

were struggling financially so even though I've received a lot of support and love from many family members and friends on social media I still feel guilty about the conversation I had with my parents the night before even the way my uncle and Aunt are acting makes me feel bad about what I did I feel like I should delete the post but before doing so I just wanted to make sure that I really am in the wrong and that I'm not just being manipulated into thinking I did something bad am I the bad guy for posting

on social media and exposing my parents and their financial struggles edit my relationship with my sister hasn't been good for a long time we used to be close when we were younger but in the past four or five years she has been acting really weird I don't know exactly why maybe it's because of the kind of friends she has from what I know all of them are really cruel and sarcastic even though she didn't bully me or my friends when we were in school I know she had reputation for being that kind of person that's

part of the reason I don't get along with her anymore I just can't stand bullies to be honest she has changed a lot and I can't say it's for the better we barely talk now that day when she decided to send our parents to talk to me about asking for money it felt weird because even though we weren't exactly on great terms we were at least on speaking terms and she definitely could have come to me herself in fact if she had come to me I probably would have lent her the money anyway she's been

acting really strange and in many ways lately and her behavior has been awful she has a terrible attitude problem which is why I don't talk to her much now update 1 so the opinions and the comments were mixed and in the end I decided to follow my gut I deleted the post because even though I got a lot of support from my family members it didn't mean much it's not like anyone really reached out to me it was just surface level support even the people who had contacted my parents to tell them what they were

doing was unfair never actually reached out to me so it was OB VI that it was more important for them to call out my parents Behavior than to actually be there for the person who had been going through something these people just wanted to be part of the drama and feel included I deleted the post because I had already taken out my frustration on my parents so the purpose had been fulfilled 4 days passed since the last time I spoke with them and I deleted the post this morning after that I decided to make amends

with my uncle and Aunt because I felt like I owed them an explanation more than I did my parents they had tried to be there for me as much as they could and despite that I hadn't even talked to them before making that post things had been pretty awkward between us because I knew they didn't agree with my Approach so I woke up super early today deleted the post and then made breakfast for them as a surprise they were pretty shocked when I apologized for not talking to them they said it was okay they had

just been surprised by the post they also apologized to me for acting weird after the post because they didn't know what to do or say to make things better I guess it was just a misunderstanding between us and we decided Ed to talk things through I told them that I had just felt really upset and humiliated by the way my parents had treated me even though I was very grateful to them for being there for me I felt like I had to take out my anger on my parents somehow maybe it wasn't the right thing

to do but I had to get it out of my system they told me they understood why I did what I did but that they didn't necessarily agree with the way I went about it by posting everything online for everyone to see they explained that many people in the family were very jealous of my uncle and my dad because compared to them their Liv had been great a lot of my relatives couldn't stand that so it was natural for them to feel good about my dad going through hard times that was part of the reason

they didn't want any of this to be known that explained why so many of my relatives had shown me so much support in the comments but never actually bothered to reach out to me they were happy about my dad's downfall but didn't care at all about what I was going through anyway I learned that lesson and I told them that I had deleted the post they were more than happy to have me at home because I had always been a good kid and reminded them a lot of their own children when they mentioned that I

decided to tell them that I was also really upset with my sister a big part of the reason my parents and I had that fight that day was because I was angry that she hadn't come to ask me for the money herself I wasn't really expecting to get an explanation about that I was just venting to them since I hadn't mentioned this detail before and I also hadn't included it in my post but when I told them that my sister had sent our parents to ask me for money they started to look really surprised it

was clear they knew something so I asked them what was bothering them they told me they didn't understand why my sister felt the need to make our parents ask for money to cover rent because she had already asked them for money for rent and they thought they had covered everything that was my turn to be shocked because I had no idea about that after talking to them a little more about it I found out that while my sister was in college she knew that our parents weren't in a position to support her so whenever she

needed something she would contact my uncle and aunt she had also been depending on them the student loan only covered University related expenses but of course people have other expenses too and my uncle and aunt had covered all of them they never told me because my sister had wanted it to be a secret and she promised them she would pay them back as soon as she had enough money to do so recently a few weeks ago she had asked for a couple of thousand because she was moving into a new apartment with her friends and

needed to cover her share of the rent they agreed to help her because she finally had a job and told them she was going to start paying them back now so now I'm really confused if my sister had already borrowed money from my uncle to cover rent why was she asking me for money it just doesn't make sense and even my uncle and Aunt don't have any answers right now they could talk to her directly and get to the bottom of it but they think it would be better for me to discuss it with her

personally since we clearly have a lot to talk about and clear up between us I guess that's exactly what I'll have to do if I want to figure out what's going on because this is really suspicious update two so 2 days after my last update and after a lot of deliberation I finally decided to talk to my sister it was the only way to get to the bottom of what was happening I hadn't blocked her and she hadn't blocked me either so I just sent her a message to see if she was willing to talk

to me and she agreed pretty easily I called her last night and we ended up talking for quite a while it turns out that I don't think she was at fault in any of this apparently she had borrowed some money from our uncle to cover part of the rent but then one of her friends decided to move in with her boyfriend instead of with their group this meant that everyone would have to contribute more since one person had backed out putting her in a difficult position because the apartment they had planned to rent was quite

expensive she decided to ask our parents for help just this once and she told me she had asked them to help her directly not to ask me she had no idea why they had done that and she didn't even know they had gone to me for the money until I told her last night it seems that our parents told her the reason we had a fight was that I was demanding money from them to add to my college savings and that they had refused me my sister believed that and had no idea about the real

reason I had fought with our parents when she found out she was shocked we figured that our parents probably didn't want to help her by giving money out of their own pocket so they came to me and made it seem like she was the one asking for help after that we talked about our sibling relationship I decided to be honest with her and told her that I had distanced myself because she had changed a lot as a person and had become really mean almost like a bully I thought she would deny it and we'd end

up fighting but she actually admitted it she acknowledged that she had been terrible in high school but said she had changed a lot in college she wanted to work on our relationship but she felt that I was so closed off that she didn't think it would work even if Sheed tried to talk to me we decided to put the past behind us and try to fix things for the sake of our future it was clear that our parents had taken advantage of our tense relationship to turn us against each other for those wondering she was

able to move into the new apartment with her friends she had to come up with an excuse to explain why she only had part of the rent but thanks to my post they realized what was going on and offered to cover her until she could pay them back her friends didn't judge her so Props to them I'm happy with how things turned out I was able to get to the bottom of what happened and also fix things with my sister however my parents and I still haven't spoken and given what I just found out I

don't think we'll be in contact anytime soon in fact I'd even say my sister will probably stop talking to them too update three so I recently started college and I already love it it's been a few months since I last spoke to my parents and they've blocked me I don't know why they blocked me because judging by their actions I should have been the one blocking them my sister also hasn't spoken to them since she found out the truth about what happened between me and our parents however we are actively working on our relationship and

trying to be the siblings we used to be so far I'd say it's going pretty well and I'm really happy about that my uncle and Aunt have obviously stayed in touch with me and it's a happy coincidence that one of my cousins one of their kids recently started working on a project that will require him to visit my state quite often I'll be seeing him soon I don't really miss my parents right now and for those asking if I lent money to my sister or if I plan to the answer answer is no she hasn't

asked me for money and I haven't lent her any let's just say my sister doesn't have a good Financial track record with my uncles so I'm not taking that risk besides she already has a job now so at least she doesn't need it and as far as I know she's even started paying back some of what she borrowed for my uncles maybe I should be the one asking my sister for money now but Jokes Aside that's what's been happening lately update four I think it's been about 4 months since my last update I haven't checked

my last post before writing this so sorry if I left any comments unanswered I'm in exam season and have little time to write but I need some advice well actually advice for my sister she knows about these posts and wants me to make one on her behalf we still talk from time to time and just yesterday she told me that our parents have asked her for money they want to expand their business to make it more profitable than it is now I think this is a terrible idea because if the business isn't growing on its

own throwing more money into it after years of stagnation doesn't seem like the best move even my uncles think the same which is why they were the first to reject the idea they've asked her for something like $10,000 to create a better presence on social media my sister says she's hesitant to do it since they called her she never blocked them she just stopped talking to them and they told her they had always maintained a certain lifestyle for us well basically the same thing they told me I told my sister that under no circumstances should

she lend our parents money they still haven't paid back anything they owe our uncles but my sister is still unsure even though I think Reddit will respond similarly to what I told her she needs to know if she's really in the wrong for refusing update five thanks for the comments saying she wasn't in the wrong though some called her dumb for even asking I won't deny that they're right but she was excited to ask here after I told her how this works in the end she didn't lend them the money and told them so in

a series of messages but she didn't get to finish writing everything she wanted to say to our parents because they blocked her too or at least the messages aren't showing as received and it's been several days we know from our uncles that they haven't gone on a trip so it's not like they're out of coverage it's likely that when she told them she wasn't going to lend them the money they blocked her it's funny how they see taking care of us until we were 18 as a favor they did for us when it was their

obligation for bringing us into this world the lifestyle is their own thing because it's not like we benefited from those things most of the time the trips and cars theyve bought the ones that are part of their lifestyle have been purchases for themselves so making us feel guilty because they spent money like drunken Sailors isn't our fault and for the person who said investing in social media is a good idea I agree the problem is that my parents should first have a business that actually works well and then enhance it with social media throwing money

into an online presence isn't going to fix the fundamental problems they have and testing this idea with our money seems like an even worse idea thanks everyone for helping me with this problem