say goodbye to the pain of unanswered texts the heartache of mixed signals and the confusion of an unresolved past you're about to discover the game changing secret that will put you in charge of your love life so what exactly is this game changing technique and how do you use it in the next few minutes I'm going to explain exactly how to regain control of your emotions and your romantic life hi I'm Aaron Jarrels I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and I help couples find their happy today we're going to be talking about the no
contact rule what it is and why you should be using it and be sure to stay tuned to the end because I'm going to give you a powerful technique that will help you stick to the rule even when it feels like you're going crazy let's get started first off what is the no contact rule the no contact rule is a self-imposed period of time where you cut off all contact with your ex-partner in order to regain a sense of self to heal and to decide whether or not you want to get back together or move
on this includes in-person meetings as well as phone calls texts and even social media there are many benefits to using the no contact rule but these are my favorite five first it allows you the space and the time you need to process your emotions and the loss of your relationship next it allows you to break unhealthy habits that may have been the cause of the breakup in the first place next it gives you the space you need to focus on yourself your goals and what you want in life plus it gives you the space you
need to reflect on your relationship and the perspective to see things clearly one of the best features is that it helps you decide whether or not you want to completely separate from this person or if it's worth getting back together the no contact rule is typically recommended for a period of about 30 to 60 days now it might be longer or shorter depending on your circumstances not to mention if you have kids with this person there's probably no way to instill a complete and total no contact rule but it does allow you the space and
the freedom to just have contact for only the things you need to do for the children all right we now know what it is and we know some of the benefits but how do we do it I've got seven pointers that will make following the no contact rule much simpler the first one is to decide how long you want your no contact to be maybe it's 30 days it might be 45 might be 60 it's really going to depend on you your relationship and what it is you're trying to accomplish most experts agree that 30
days is The Sweet Spot and that's because that's how long it takes to break a habit the second one is to decide what it means to you be clear on the rules because if you're clear on what it means then it's easier to follow does this mean no contact whatsoever so you're avoiding where they show up you're avoiding them on social media phone calls texting everything or is it just cutting out certain parts the next step is to tell your ex based on the rules you set in the previous step what you will and won't
be doing with them so if you're cutting off contact completely let them know and be honest with them that you're cutting off contact so that you can get yourself to a place where it makes sense and that you'll reach out to them if and when you see fit the fourth thing is to let your friends and family know you're cutting off contact let them know that you don't want them necessarily bringing up your ex in conversation that it's something that you need help with and their support on all right the fifth one is sort of
a personal favor and that is because you're cutting off contact and we don't seem to remember what anybody's information is because it's in stored in our phones is to delete their contact from your phone now what that does is it makes it very difficult for you to reach out to them now granted if you have an intention to get a hold of them later take their information their contact information put it on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope this will make it much more difficult for you to reach out to them
in a moment of weakness number six is to find healthy ways of coping you've got to find things that will allow you to relax and take your mind of your ex so find things that you're interested in your hobbies different things that you can do spend time with people that are important to you so that you can move on and reintegrate yourself into your own life so you can recognize your genuine self the last one is be patient it takes time to heal and it takes time to feel differently if you rush yourself you're going
to stumble and you're going to make a mistake so give yourself the time you need to feel better okay once you decide that you're going to initiate and start the no contact rule this is typically where things start to get difficult so here are some tips for making the no contact rule simpler to follow the first is avoiding social media if you avoid social media you're taking away the opportunity to stay in touch with them and to follow along what's going on in their life it allows you to focus on yourself and what you need
to heal the next one is be sure to distract yourself especially in those moments of weakness when you know that you're going to be longing for your ex those times when you're like uh after dinner we always used to hug snuggle on the sofa and now I don't have that distract yourself by spending time with others doing new things maybe even hugging on your pet the next one is don't be afraid to reach out for help especially when you're not feeling well you're starting to the weakness is starting to kick in and you can feel
like ooh this is getting too hard reach out to your friends and your family it might even take reaching out to someone else like a therapist or counselor that can help get you through the hard times the no contact rule can sometimes feel difficult but it is worth it remember you're not alone thousands of couples have had breakups and many of them have found fast relief and faster healing using the no contact rule now for that bonus I promised you it is this remember your why okay it means remind yourself of why you started the
no contact rule in the first place it's easy to get caught up in the moment and think oh I made a huge mistake but if you will remind yourself of the goal that you set for yourself when you instituted or initiated the no contact rule is because you had a goal and you need to stick with it and see it through that's about it for this video if you found it informational please do like and subscribe and be sure to share any experiences that you've had with the no contact rule in the comments to help
support others that are going through it now thank you so much for watching I'll see you in the next one
