How to Build Genuine CONNECTIONS Faster Than 99% Of People

by the end of this video you will have the key to all the people on this planet everyone will love you and do anything you want and if everyone loves you you will have obtained the key to life itself you will gain the most important skill you need in this life because if we look at CEOs company Executives and world leaders we will find that each of them possesses a different skill however there is one skill they all have in common and that is social skills and I read an article some time ago that stated

communication skills account for 85% of your success in life this statement is true because even if you just want to start a YouTube channel you will need social skills more than anything else and this video was created to be the Bible for your social skills listen to me carefully there is something deeply ingrained in all of us humans embedded in our genes this is the foundation upon which all social skills are built any book or video you come across that talks about social skills is based on this very concept so focus with me now as

humans we all have an instinct within us and this instinct is a hunger for Value in other words we love to feel that we have value in the environment we live in if you satisfy this hunger for someone in the right way as I will explain in this video that person will become yours you will win them over and anything you want them to do they will do I still remember a long time ago when I was studying at University since I was an immigrant at the time and in need of money I worked as

a math tutor for high school students giving private lessons one of my students was among the dumbest people I had ever met in my life he was like a rock I had to explain things to him four times for him to understand one day I spoke to him and said you are slow to understand and you're stupid but you have one great thing you are hardworking and even though you are now the last in your class your hard work will eventually make you surpass all your classmates what happened was that before the end of the

Academic Year this student became one of the best students I taught I don't know exactly what he did but I am sure that when he went home he studied with all his energy the reason wasn't that he just wanted to succeed it was because he wanted to please me he wanted to prove to me that he deserved the praise I had given him and wanted to impress me all of this happened because of that single sentence I said to him that sentence was a form of positive manipulation that motivated him to study more and in

truth that sentence was food for the Instinct I mentioned earlier so if you learn how to properly feed this Instinct in others you will become the most loved person in your Social Circle this is what I will explain to you today I will teach you how to feed this Instinct you may hear me now and think I'm telling you go and give value to anyone you meet no you must learn the correct way to give people value and that is what I will explain to you the first thing and a golden rule that I want

you to remember for the rest of your life is this if you want to leave an impression and influence someone you need to make them feel like they are the one who left an impression and influenced you this is an important Rule and one of the first things I learned when studying human behavior if you want to impress someone if you want to gain someone's approval you shouldn't show them that you're amazing instead you should show them that they are the amazing and remarkable one so how do you do that that how do you make

someone feel like they left an impression on you through focused conversation this means that when you talk to someone you make the conversation revolve around them and focus on them there are two ways to do this one let them talk about themselves and you build on what they say two take a general topic and redirect it towards them let's start with the first way imagine you're talking to someone and they say yesterday I went on a date with a girl and it turned out she was stupid and didn't understand anything about life when they tell

you this they are recounting an experience they had meaning they have placed the focus of the conversation on themselves now imagine if you responded by saying I once met a dumb girl too or I can't stand dumb girls in these examples what have you done you've taken the focus and shifted it back onto yourself but if you said oh and what did you do about it or how did the date go here you keep the focus on them and continue the conversation about them of course when they're talking you need to listen to them I've

explained this in previous videos from the social skills Series in short try to make them the center of the conversation for an extended period now let's move on to the second way which is redirecting a general conversation to make it about them for example imagine you meet someone and you start talking about the weather this is undoubtedly one of the most General and boring topics ever as everyone agrees but imagine if you ask them what do you like more rain or Sunshine summer or winter do you understand me when you have the opportunity to shift

the focus of the conversation to the other person do it by doing this you give them value and satisfy their Instinct they will feel that they have influenced you and in turn you'll have influenced them at the same time you give them a chance to prove themselves and earn your admiration here I'll give you a golden rule in social skills the moment someone starts trying to gain your admiration it means you've already won them over this rule applies not only to people in general but also to women if you're a man talking to a woman

and she starts trying to earn your admiration it means she's already yours you achieve this by not trying to prove anything to that person instead you show them that you don't need to prove any idea or point one way to do this is when you're in a conversation and they interrupt you imagine you're speaking to someone and they interrupt you what's the best way to handle this situation the answer is to ignore it if you're speaking and they cut you off let them talk if they change the subject let them change the subject many young

people make the mistake of trying to return to the previous topic and insisting on not letting it go but the better approach is that if someone interrupts you let them interrupt if they change the subject let them change it don't hold on to the previous topic by doing this the other person will see that you're not trying to prove anything to them they will feel that you don't need to assert yourself and that in itself is a display of strength the other person will sense your power because the strongest person in society is the one

who doesn't need to prove themselves or convey a specific idea to others however if someone constantly interrupts you meaning they cut you off every time you try to speak in this case you should not allow it how do you stop them you tell them directly and calmly simply say to them why don't you let me finish what I'm saying unfortunately many people don't do this if someone is doing something you don't like tell them directly and calmly this is aeal important if you're a man here's a golden piece of advice if you're a man you

need to understand that as a man it's expected of you to express yourself clearly and directly unfortunately I see many young men trying to express themselves in an indirect way fearing they might come across as rude but this is a mistake as a man's society expects you to be clear and to express yourself if someone constantly interrupts you tell them directly if they continue interrupting you despite this then there's no reason for you to keep talking to them this is a principle you should adopt for your entire life don't torment yourself trying to please someone

else if there's a person you don't enjoy talking to or being around simply stop engaging with them and avoid them anyway let's get back to our topic imagine we're having a conversation and I keep talking while you interrupt me if I ignore it and let you finish your point it means that the things I was saying weren't intended to prove anything to you when someone feels that you don't want to prove anything to them they will feel the need to prove themselves to you this increases your value in their eyes now let's move on to

the next step which is recognizing their presence as a person what does that mean it means accepting them as they are and valuing them for who they are not for what they have or what they do when you meet someone and start talking to them avoid asking questions like what's your job do you work did you study what degree do you have do you still smoke or how much do you earn avoid this type of questioning the person should feel that you care about them as an individual not for what they do or own for

instance don't sit down with them and ask do you still smoke or say you should quit smoking don't start giving people advice or lecturing them I've talked about this in a previous video in the series where when you sit and start giving advice and telling someone they need to change that's a major social mistake do you think they don't already know they need to change are they waiting for you to tell them what they should do advice should only be given when the person asks for it this means showing them that you accept them as

they are with all the problems they might have here's a golden piece of advice never Place yourself above others don't put yourself in a higher position than others and start giving them advice or telling them what they need to do if someone has a problem don't start talking about it asking about it or trying to help them without them asking for your help don't embarrass them at the same time don't try to correct people this is a very important Point imagine you're sitting and talking to someone about a topic and they say the Moon is

150,000 Mi away from us don't immediately jump in and say no the Moon is 238,000 miles away why would you say that what would you gain what would they gain from you correcting such a trivial and inconsequential fact if it doesn't add something meaningful to the conversation or take anything away from it don't correct them this is a habit I used to have whenever I heard someone say something incorrect I felt a strong urge to correct them but trust me this is a very bad habit the next step is to give the other person the

opportunity to try to earn your admiration I mentioned this point earlier and now I'll explain how to apply it so how do you encourage someone to strive for your admiration the first thing is to ask for their opinion as humans when we talk we often focus on expressing our own opinions the problem is that most people don't care about others opinions and just want to talk about themselves learn to ask for others opinions and listen to them if you're discussing something or watching something something ask the other person what they think about it let them

Express their opinion and listen to them at the same time ask for their suggestions look in life you'll meet many people who want to give you suggestions or advice when this happens listen to them imagine you have a YouTube channel and someone comes to you and starts giving advice saying do this or try that don't reject their advice and don't treat them as if they don't understand by the way before we continue I want you to underline this sentence never treat anyone as if they don't understand anything or as if you're better than them even

if they're not educated or younger than you never look down on anyone you don't know what might be in their mind or at least don't show them that you look down on them treat them as if they are just like you let's get back to the topic when someone gives you advice or offers a suggestion listen to them and don't shut them down for example if you have a YouTube channel and a friend tells you make a video about a certain topic they're saying this because they want to please you and earn your admiration so

let them share their opinion don't say no listen to them if the idea they suggest isn't suitable for your Channel or you don't think it will get many views you can say that seems like a good idea but I need to think about it this way you don't outright reject their suggestion now if we look at everything I've mentioned in this video and what I'll explain in the upcoming videos I'm sure many people in the comments will say that if they do these things they'll feel like they're faking it that they're not being their authentic

selves listen to me carefully my friend that advice be yourself is the dumbest worst and most absurd piece of advice in the history of humanity imagine someone who smokes and wants to quit smoking would would you say to them don't quit stay true to yourself or someone struggling with obesity who starts going to the gym to change their body would you say to them don't work out stay true to yourself of course not and the same applies to your social skills your way of communicating with people is a skill and like any skill it needs

practice and Improvement in every possible way this topic doesn't end here and I would be lying if I told you that everything I shared today is enough the social skills series is just getting started and I'll continue discussing it in upcoming episodes please if if you're interested in this series let me know in the comments and if this video reaches 10,000 likes I will continue this series this was the dark needle and I'll see you in the next video [Music]