Did he cheat on me, or did a koala give me an STD? I was buddies for the majority of my adolescent years until getting married to my husband. Five years ago, this occurs in March 2020 when I was three months pregnant with my second baby, our second of two kids.
I had gone to my 13-week follow-up scan after the ultrasound had indicated there was a problem. I absolutely anticipated the worst, but my doctor simply said they could detect something on the scans of my Fallopian tubes, that the baby was healthy, and that they needed to perform blood tests and swabs. My doctor phoned me right away when the test results came in to tell me to come in right away because I had tested positive for chlamydia.
My doctor was my doctor back when my first son was born, so she was aware of our entire medical history. She also knew that I had been with my husband for years. She questioned me outright if our relationship was monogamous, and I of course replied in the affirmative.
"My husband would need to be tested in order to confirm before he too would likely need treatment," she said as she gave me the overview of therapies and prescriptions, all with pitiful expressions. I was thinking it, and so was she. I developed an STD when my partner cheated on me.
Even though I'm indignant and upset, I go home and take a long hot shower to clean myself up before calling him while sitting in our house with our family portrait taunting me on the wall. He is at work while I sob on the phone telling him that I just went to the doctor and found out I had chlamydia and how could he do this, you bastard? The whole thing.
He keeps calling me after I hang up, but I'm trying to calm down since I need to pick up our son from daycare and still manage to be a good mother somehow. I ignore his calls and go about my day feeling completely defeated. When he gets home, I'll be cooking dinner for our son.
He enters the house, sets down his belongings in a noisy manner, and throws his keys against the wall. He enters the bedroom and shuts the door after seeing I am holding our son and I can hear the shower running. I don't know what I was expecting, but this isn't it, which leaves me perplexed and even more hurt.
I put our son to bed after finishing the bedtime ritual and feeding him. I went to my husband's room to talk to him, even though I'm sleepy and it's around eight o'clock, and he is sitting on the bed sobbing with his head in his hands. I approach him and inform him, "I don't know how you could do this to me in our family, but you've given me an STD and you also need to get tested and take this medication.
" He yells that I am a sick and twisted person for cheating on him, getting an STD, and then blaming him for it while he stares at me with eyes that are raw and red. So my spouse is visibly furious and shaking, and I have no idea what he is saying. He believes I've been unfaithful, and I'm just enraged about it since I detest cheating.
I have never done it, a nasty thing to do to a loved one. I try to calm him down because he is insistent that he never wandered, and our dispute results in us waking up our son. He had already packed his luggage and was going when I returned; he declared that he will spend some time with his folks.
I cried all night after he departed. He definitely tested positive, and the following two weeks were awful with us both blaming the other since neither of us was willing to own up. It reached the point where I inquired if he wanted to end the relationship.
He promised to inform me of a paternity test revealed that the pregnancy I was carrying was actually his. It was undoubtedly his child. When we went to get the testing, we sought treatment, but nothing was ever truly resolved.
He eventually returned home. A huge part of the reason I ultimately chose to accept that he had cheated and wouldn't own up to it was because of all of our history together with the knowledge that in the end, I loved this man and didn't want a broken family. We simply carried on with life, albeit with a bit less happiness and sunshine.
I liked him, and part of me worried that if he admitted it, it would get worse because I would ask for names, faces, and other personal information. As more time passed, I was willing to let it go. Now that it has been more than 2.
5 years, Adam is browsing TikTok when this Robert Irwin video starts playing. He was describing how chlamydia poses the greatest threat to koala numbers. I saw him begin to put things together, and I swear if a light bulb had suddenly appeared within his skull, it would have shone out of his ears.
He has since concluded that he may have actually transmitted chlamydia to me, although not dishonestly. Just wowzer. At this point, there were significant bushfires in Queensland around the middle to end of 2019.
When Adam and I went to the Bohemian Beef Freaks Festival in September, we came across a ton of koalas that had been forced to move because of fires that had been raging nearby in the weeks before. They were just by the side of the road weary. When we eventually stopped, Adam went to get some water for the unfortunate men.
One tiny guy was just clinging to my partner's arm as he drank because he was so. Thirsty and worn out, yes, the koala urinated all over Adam's shirt and arm after he scooped him up and gave him a cuddle. We moved him off the road track, laughed it off, and went on.
Since there are only paid showers available at this event in the midst of a Wilderness, we had no intention of utilizing them until the very last day. His shirt had been off, and he had cleaned his hands with bottled water. We arrived, set up camp, and then went out to party, entirely forgetting about the koala.
We had a lot of sex during those days. Yes, as I write this, I realize how disgusting it all sounds, but that's how Australian bush doof's role, and we were young parents enjoying a rare break after the birth of our baby. We, therefore, conducted an extensive investigation and discovered that sure, you can catch it from koalas.
Screw me. When Adam quickly scheduled a visit at our doctor's office, we arrived, explained everything, and even she agreed with him. Yes, it's conceivable that's where the STD might have come from.
We had no symptoms. Thus, it was possible for us to have had it before it was discovered during my pregnancy. Now that we have a justification, my husband is in favor of it.
He claims that everything makes sense, and I can see that he has changed since then. He is now more relaxed and trusting with me. But a part of me still believes that it was due to him being unfaithful.
Our connection has been strained during the past few years. Yet, it is still okay. In terms of who the other was talking to or texting constantly, feeling on edge when the other was out alone, etc.
, our sexual life drastically decreased, and we both almost became toxic to each other. He would haphazardly say, "You can tell me the truth, and I'll still love you," so many times that it would cause a fight. Etc.
, our friends who were aware of the situation long ago cut ties with us, believing that one of us was a cheater, and the other was foolish for sticking around. To avoid all the nonsense, we learned to keep this aspect of our life private. It seems like my husband has changed once more since learning this.
Since he has accepted this explanation so readily, he is now the same loving, caring man he was before this all began. But how am I supposed to believe that my spouse actually gave me chlamydia from a koala? And how can we get rid of everything harmful that has been between us so that we can build a stronger, more reliable relationship?
I can't quite let go of the feeling that he cheated on me since, in all honesty, I'll never really know unless he says otherwise, and this seems too convenient for the whole situation to make me feel at ease. I'm just not sure. It may sound absurd, but this has been my life for over three years, and for the past six or seven months, this new information has been worrying me out once more.
We had a wonderful relationship before I was told I had chlamydia while pregnant with our second baby. We can now trace it back to an encounter with a koala. And while that has given him closure, I'm still unsure.
I know I never cheated, and he swears he didn't either. Is it more likely that he cheated, or that I actually contracted chlamydia from a koala? Last night, after learning the truth, I got down with my spouse and told him how I felt.
I apologized for my part in the situation, told him how much I loved him, and how relieved I was to finally put this to rest. Now that we both knew, there was no longer any tension between us. I also discussed the grief I had experienced as a result of his accusing me and vice versa.
He then starts pacing and acting agitated before accusing me of cheating. Yep, I know. He claims to have given me an STD, although he hasn't yet.
Yes, our relationship was in an extremely horrible position in the months following the discovery. He went out and had a one-night stand with a female from a pub in the neighboring town when he wasn't still living at home at that time. He claimed that he actually thought I had strayed and that after a few beers, he made the decision to break up with me.
As a result, he proceeded to have a sexual encounter with this female. He did it as a form of retaliation. Additionally, he was certain that our child wasn't his because of everything.
In other words, he was in a really bad place. However, the following day, we met, and this was the day I brought up separating. He claimed that right away he had regret and felt as though things were even now.
He said he would stay if I did a paternity test and the baby was his, which he was. And that he would stay if I did. He reasoned that if I wasn't going to tell him I had cheated, then he wouldn't either.
He only came clean with me now because he understood how foolish he had been, wishes he could take it back but is powerless to do so. And now that he knows about koalas, he feels bad. When I inquired about the girl, he said that he just knew her first name, that he hasn't spoken to her since, and that she is unimportant.
But this blows my God recall how I wrote in my post that my husband has returned to being his loving, caring self since learning the news. Now that I understand he was attempting to atone for his mistake and people were upset with me for not. Accepting the possibility that a koala may have been the source of my STD right away, but I swear I knew this in my gut.
Perhaps that's why I was holding out and currently sitting on a park bench watching our sons play, and I just don't know what to do. Since it all feels hollow and numb, I will not tolerate cheating, and I have never had a sexual relationship. I never thought about getting even with him in a tit-for-tat manner.
So why did he do it to me? I'm devastated, and a part of me wants to turn back time to before all of this occurred. We have two children, two dogs, and two cats, so I can't split up my family.
It would be a mess to have a house and two automobiles together, but I'm not sure how to handle this right now. Six months ago when we first learned about this new possibility, he could have told me this, but he didn't. Instead, he waited until I apologize profusely to him before dropping this confession on me.
He knows I can't look at him right now. I suppose I'll give it a few days to sink in before making a decision, but I think I'll stay. Even though this has damaged a small piece of me that I recently rediscovered, I still adore him very much.
So be it, life will work out, right? I see why so many people are invested in this; it's nuts. I understand that many people now assume my spouse to be a twisted sadist, but I truly don't think that is the case.
I do believe the STD originated from the koala; otherwise, why would he be admitting to things now? I don't think he cheated on me or gave me the STD before all of that crap happened. I don't think he deceived me for years.
Yes, he had previously felt justified, but now he only sees himself as a fool for acting in the way he did. He's right when he says it's the only time it's ever happened, and I believe him. And it's okay if others think I'm an idiot, since I'm processing everything at my own pace.
But in my opinion, the STD created uncertainty because of a truly horrible event that occurred. He messed up too, but the outcome demonstrates to me how devoted my hubby is. I'm expressing all of my emotions, and this man has now admitted the truth to me in order for us to have a chance at moving on with nothing standing in our way.
He had let this bother him for years since he truly thought I had cheated as well. Although he knows that telling me that would change everything, he didn't have to. And the timing proves to me that he is sincere because he now realizes that he is the only one here who is at fault.
He has said that he won't blame me if I decide to leave and that I should consider all of my options and make my own decisions. Regardless of everything we have accomplished together so far, it was not manipulative at all. But oh, I really skimmed through writing about our actual dialogue when he admitted he didn't blame me in the least.
Instead, he just kept repeating, "I really thought you cheated, and I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry. " It was raw and terrible. I'm going to heed the counsel of a few individuals who suggested that I take a break.
He has been told to go stay with his folks while I take some time to consider everything. And sure, I did claim that infidelity was a deal-breaker for me, but my actions have proven otherwise. This has taught me something about who I am.
Perhaps that ideal was just something that a younger, more idealistic version of myself hung onto. But now that I've seen how much more there is to life, I suppose that's no longer the case. Although it appears like I've started at acceptance, another individual claimed that the stages of sorrow aren't sequential, so perhaps that is also accurate.
In either case, the future of my marriage will depend on taking a sabbatical, having some difficult conversations with a therapist, and making my own decision.