Every financial decision that you make, what job you take, how much you charge, how guilty you feel spending a certain amount of money, is all controlled by this subconscious script that you probably didn't even write yourself. So, here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about the phrases that you heard growing up.
Maybe it's, you know, one money doesn't grow on trees, be grateful for what you have, rich people are greedy. Okay, those things are not lessons, they're other people's thoughts that you took on. And so, once they get written into your subconscious, then they start dictating everything about your life.
What jobs you take, how much money you charge, what you believe you deserve, how much money you spend, when you should be anxious versus excited about spending money. So, here's how we want to rewire our brains to think about money differently. Write down your earliest memory about money.
What did your parents say about it? How did they behave with it? That's probably your money script, and once you see it, you can rewrite it.
And so, your new script, for example, could be money is a tool that lets me create freedom and help more people. Once you change that internal script, your external results will start to update. It takes a lot of the emotion out of it, and once you associate positive feelings with that new narrative, you start to actually see that your behaviors align with it more.
The people that win, the people that actually are able to make a lot of money and build real wealth, they're the people who keep going when it's boring and when it's painful and when it's unclear. And they just say, "I have to find a way forward. " So, if you find yourself popping from thing to thing to thing, from side hustle to this to that, [music] you're the kind of person who goes on YouTube and you say like five jobs that will make me rich.
That's the problem. The problem is that you're on YouTube asking how to get rich rather than figuring out how to do it in the current vehicle you're in. Discipline will make you rich.
Quitting is what keeps you poor. Having the discipline to say, "I can maximize the opportunity I have at hand. I just need to work on my skills.
" You encounter resistance and you say, "Fuck it, I'm out. " And you want to go do something else. And that habit and those thoughts is what keeps so many people stuck in this valley, and it's why so many people aren't able to accumulate real wealth, because they think, "Oh gosh, it's hard, so I should do something else.
" That's really what you're saying. And the thing is is that you don't need a new business, you don't need a new side hustle, you don't need a new job. You need to stop trying new things every time the current one gets hard.
And this is because they lack frustration tolerance, and that is what gets you through the hard part into reaping the rewards of everything that you've put in front of you. You will sabotage. Say it's a $200,000 opportunity, if you still see yourself as somebody who only pursues a $50,000 opportunity.
The research on this is very clear. Your self-concept acts as a thermostat. If you see yourself as somebody who earns $100,000, you'll unconsciously strive to maintain that level, right?
And you will not pursue a level above it. That's a really important piece. Now, if you make $150,000, you'll probably spend an additional $50,000.
If you make $80,000, you'll stress and work until you're back at the $100,000. And so, if your identity is, "I'm somebody who struggles with money," you find ways to keep struggling. >> [laughter] >> But if it's, "I'm someone who creates and manages my wealth and can make more money if I choose to," then you're going to find a way to live that out.
You don't need to change your beliefs to make more [music] money, but you do have to change your behavior. I heard all these people talking about like you have to manifest the money [music] and you've got to see it before you get it. If I believe and I act like somebody who's rich, [music] like this money's going to come to me.
And then I met my now husband, and I remember he said this line to me that just like really [music] stuck. He said, "Money doesn't discriminate who puts in the work to make it. " And I remember he said like, "You don't have to believe certain beliefs to make more money.
" Like you just got to work. The road to success, you get there by working hard. You don't get there with intention.
[music] You get there by doing it, because you can't manifest your way to a million bucks. You have to go work for it. Money usually comes to the people who are too busy working to look for it.
There are two types of people in this world, the ones who believe that life happens to them versus those that believe they make things happen. This is why some people rise up stronger from failure, while other people just collapse underneath of it. Something I realized in my 20s is that >> [music] >> blame is the enemy of improvement.
When I make and made early business mistakes, I hired the wrong people, I had a failed launch, I missed opportunities, I kept people in my business too long, I sold to the wrong customers. My first instinct was to find external reasons. And then I remember talking one time to one of my mentors.
He said, "Leila, you gain nothing and your team gains nothing by blaming your [music] customer. " And what I realized after that and really like impacted me a lot, if I'm not responsible, I'm also not [music] powerful, and I'm also not the one who can solve it. Blame gives you reasons, but having ownership and taking responsibility gives you control over doing something about the situation.
Here's the thing, fear is a mile wide and an inch deep. [music] Fear means your brain is working properly. It's not wrong that you feel [music] scared.
The thing that's stopping you is the fact that you feel like there's you must get rid of the fear in order to do the thing, [music] but that's not how your brain has been set up. I'm sorry to tell you. Your brain is wired for survival, not success.
It will continue to feel scared [music] until you do the thing. Instead of trying to meditate or trying to affirm or trying to manifest the fear [music] away, you're instead going to say, "You know what? I'm going to take the fear, I'm going to put it all in my purse, and I'm going to take it with me to wherever [music] I go and whatever I do.
So, I'm not going to try and get rid of it. In fact, I'm going to try and take it with me, because I'm still going to go do the thing. I'm going to have the fear with me.
It's just like my little friend in my purse. I know it's there. I [music] feel it.
It's like in my stomach. It's like in my body. I don't like it necessarily, but I'm going to take it with me.
I'm going to do the thing anyways. And that is how I approach everything in life. I'm not confident because I don't have fear.
I'm confident because I do things despite the fear.
