when the craziest philosopher in history was caught masturbating in public he said he wished it were as easy to get rid of hunger by touching his belly when a man called him a dog he urinated on the man's leg when the man got angry he said if I'm a dog why are you surprised when he was sentenced to Exile by the people of sinope he said and I condemn you to remain in this city when he was sold as a slave and the auctioneer asked what kind of work he was good for he replied to
be a master when Plato defined humans as the only featherless bipeds he entered his lecture with a plucked chicken and said behold a man when he saw the son of an unwed mother throwing stones at the crowd he approached him and said be careful boy you might hit your father
