The Happiest Baby on the Block By Harvey Karp The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer This method is based on four concepts. The Missing Fourth Trimester The Calming Reflex The 5 S’s, and The Cuddle Cure Let’s start with, The Missing Fourth Trimester In order to know how to calm crying babies, you have to know why they cry. That’s where the missing fourth trimester comes in.
Basically, it’s the idea that babies are born three months too early. That’s why they’re not able to smile, coo or even turn over yet, as opposed to a horse let’s say that can run within days after being born. In their first three months after being born, babies still crave the constant soothing sensations and nourishment they were receiving in the womb.
So if you’ve fulfilled all of your baby’s needs, such as feeding, burping, changing diaper, etc, and your baby is still crying, you can be sure that’s your baby’s unintentional way of letting you know they want to be back in the womb. So the solution to their crying would be, imitating the sensations of the womb. As a matter of fact, babies are born with a very useful reflex that is triggered by imitating those sensations.
The Calming Reflex. This reflex is carried over for a few months after birth to keep our infants calm. But just like there is an exact way to trigger a person’s knee-jerk reflex, there’s a specific way of triggering a baby’s calming reflex.
The 5 S’s. The first S is Swaddling Although not as great as an actual skin to skin cuddle, swaddling is a cozy substitute for those times baby is not in your arms. Swaddling doesn’t actually stop crying in and of itself.
Rather, it prepares babies for the other S’s that do actually activate the calming reflex. It does this by preventing a baby’s arms from uncontrollably flailing all over the place, so he can feel secure and actually pay attention to your calming attempts. Dr Karp suggests the Down Up Down Up approach for swaddling.
If done right, swaddling allows a baby to sleep for a few hours longer at night. Anywhere from 3 to 6 hours at a stretch! But remember, loose blankets are a breathing hazard.
Don’t wrap too loosely and don’t swaddle a baby with arms bent to prevent this. Also, don’t worry about tightness or hurting your baby either. You can feel a baby’s ears to check for overheating.
If they’re red, hot and sweaty, baby is overwrapped. Try removing a layer of his clothes first. Your baby may continue to cry and protest throughout the wrapping, but that’s just because he needs some time to gain control and doesn’t know he’s just moments away from happiness.
The second S is The Side/Stomach Position Some positions to consider are, The Reverse-Breast-Feeding Hold The Football Hold, and The Over-the-Shoulder Hold. This S actually triggers the calming reflex by imitating your baby’s position in the uterus, and making her feel safe and secure. Once calm and ready for sleep however, roll baby onto his back to prevent SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
The third S is The Shhhh Sound This S also triggers your baby’s calming reflex. Many people automatically shhhh babies softly when they begin to cry, but that usually doesn’t do anything for calming. The whooshing sound your baby heard in the uterus was as loud as a vacuum cleaner.
That’s how loud you have to be to calm your crying baby. But don’t worry, your baby won’t hear it that loud. For the first few months after birth, her ears are waterlogged with fluid, and she has thick inefficient eardrums.
silence is more of a shock to her than the loud shhhh sound she was hearing 24 hours a day in your uterus. When your baby cries, quickly raise the volume of your shhhh to match the noise level of your baby’s crying. As your baby begins to settle, you can lower the sound of your shushing, or replace with a moderate white noise substitute such as a white noise app, a fan, or noisy appliance to keep baby from returning to cry.
Some of these substitutes are great to use during naps and night time sleep, as the mere addition of white noise may extend a baby’s sleep by an hour or two. The fourth S is Swinging When your baby was in the womb, it was constantly being moved around. That’s why swinging is another way to switch on your baby’s calming reflex.
There are 3 key points to keep in mind for successfully using swinging to calm your frantic baby: 1. Start out fast and jiggly. 2.
The head jiggles more than the body. When you jiggle your baby, allow your hands to be relaxed just enough to allow the head to wiggle like jello. Without this, you probably won’t activate the calming reflex.
3. Follow your baby’s lead. The vigor of your motion should reflect the level of your baby’s crying.
You can reduce your pace the calmer your baby becomes. Remember, swinging is not the same as shaking and does NOT cause Shaken Baby Syndrome. With jiggling, your motions are fast but tiny, with the head moving one to two inches from side to side at most, always staying in line with the body.
There is no whipping action with the body and head going in different directions as there is with Shaken Baby Syndrome. Swinging can also help your baby nap better or sleep longer at night. Although, most babies don’t need to swing ALL night to sleep well.
The final S is Sucking Sucking allows babies to settle down, let go and fall asleep. It does this by satisfying their hunger and turning on their calming reflex. Babies may suck to eat, but they can also suck for non-nutritive reasons.
Many studies have shown that non-nutritive sucking lessens stress and can stimulate the release of natural pain-relieving chemicals in a baby’s brain, and also lowers the risk of SIDS. But how do you get your baby to take the pacifier? Three tips: 1.
Try different nipples. 2. Don’t force pacifier on baby if she’s crying and refuses to take it.
Wait until after calmed with the other S’s. 3. Use reverse Psychology to keep the pacifier from falling out.
When baby starts to suck on pacifier, tug on it lightly as if to take it out. Your baby will resist the tug and automatically suck harder on the pacifier. Repeat 10 to 20 times whenever you give your newborn the pacifier.
Note: If breastfeeding, avoid giving bottles and pacifiers during the first 2 to 3 weeks of baby’s life to avoid nipple confusion. Or longer if there are any breastfeeding issues. And never attach any strings or ribbons to avoid choking or the cutting off of circulation.
And that’s it, we’ve covered all the S’s. Some babies only need one or two S’s to be calmed. But combining all of these S’s makes up The Cuddle Cure and ensures even the most fussiest baby is calmed.
It just takes precision and lots of practice to excel. If you’ve met all of your baby’s needs, and continuously tried out the cuddle cure to no avail, then your baby may be of the 10-15% of extremely fussy babies that cry because of tummy troubles. These babies can benefit from the cuddle cure, but usually need a medical solution.
Many parents often worry about spoiling their baby or their baby forming a dependency on the S’s, especially when it comes to sleep. But it’s not even until after this missing fourth trimester ends that a baby starts to realize crying gets your attention. And by the time your baby reaches 4 months, you can begin to wean him without difficulty.
The first S to wean is swinging which can be done by 2 to 3 months, just reduce the swing speed to the slowest setting. The second S to phase out is sucking. Wean this sometime between 4 to 6 months, before baby develops an emotional attachment, and the risk of getting an ear infection becomes higher.
Next you can wean your baby from being swaddled. At around 4 months, see how baby does with one arm out. If she sleeps well, try both arms until you don’t need to bundle baby anymore.
The very last S to wean your baby from is white noise, which can be done at a year. Just gradually lower the volume of the white noise over the span of two weeks until it becomes so low you can simply turn it off. When your baby is finally sleeping without any of the S’s, congratulations!
You are finally done from the fourth trimester, and ready to really start his or her life adventure together. If you still have an infant at home, try some of these techniques and let me know how it goes! In the meantime, feel free to like, share, and subscribe for more videos like this!
