Congratulations. You've successfully wasted 2025 and now you're here ready to make 2026 just as disappointing. Great.
Let's make sure you ruin it properly and don't mess it up. All you have to do is follow this step-by-step guide and I guarantee next December you'll be back for the 2027 version of this video. One, start every day by grabbing your phone.
Forget morning routines. Forget goals. Just roll over and let Tik Tok or Instagram inject 45 minutes of noise into your brain before you've even stood up.
Bonus points if you compare yourself to someone younger, richer, and more successful on these apps. Two, avoid physical activity at all cost. Why would you need exercise?
You're invincible, right? Your back doesn't hurt, your metabolism works perfectly, and your energy hasn't tanked yet. Keep this mindset and by the end of 2026, you'll pant going upstairs and look older than most people your age.
Three, surround yourself with people exactly like you. Find friends who complain about their lives, never change, think ambition is cringe, and sabotage your goals. Perfect.
If nobody around you grows, you won't either. Four, get addicted to planning. Mind maps, aesthetic to-do lists, and notion dashboards.
Spend hours designing the illusion of a better you. Just don't actually become that person because that would ruin everything. Five, tell yourself you'll start tomorrow.
This is a crucial step. Quit a bad habit. I'll do it tomorrow.
Do the side project. Still tomorrow. Fix your sleep.
Guess what? Tomorrow. Tomorrow is your safest place.
It protects you from effort, discomfort, and accountability. Six, wait for motivation instead of building discipline. Don't act unless you feel like it.
And when you don't feel like it, which is almost always, just say your mental health is stopping you. A true classic. Seven.
Treat sleep like an optional side quest. Go to bed whenever. Wake up tired.
Repeat until your brain feels like mashed [music] potatoes. It's the closest thing to legal self-destruction. That's it.
Follow this guide and you'll have yourself another wasted [music] year guaranteed. But here's the part you can pretend you didn't hear. There are only so many years where you're young enough to try.
2026 is one of them. waste it. If you want, go write another useless chapter.
But when your book comes to an end, don't act surprised that the ending is not what you wanted.
