How to give a Yoni Massage

One of the guys in my highperformance male membership asked me the other day, how do I massage a woman. And it got me thinking about a skill that I haven't really discussed on YouTube or in that group before and that is Yoni massage by which I mean vaginal, and vulva massage. And it is an extra special skill that it takes men from good lover to Epic lover, because most men never take the time to learn this and most women never even asked for it.

It's something that has unfortunately been sort of lost. It's it's not something that most people today practice, but it actually is a practice that has existed for 1000s of years. And I think that we could actually bring it back and have a huge impact on the quality of your sex life, and the quality of sex for women everywhere.

And in this video, I'm going to explain what a Yoni vaginal vagina massage is and how to do one. I'm also going to explain why they're so important and why I think that these are critical for all of the world's sexual healing. First of all, did you know that up to one quarter of women regularly experienced pain during sex, one in four to me, that is unconscionable.

It is way too many women 25% regularly not sometimes not on occasion, regularly experiencing pain during sex. And the Yoni massage can absolutely help those women and it can help prevent painful sexual experiences from women who are not currently having that pain. Also, it is true that many women perhaps most cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone.

And I personally believe that the vaginal massage is one of the antidotes that helps women to actually get to the point where they can have orgasms through penetration. It's also true that it takes women on average 20 to 40 minutes to get aroused enough to reach orgasm. And a Yoni massage makes for amazing foreplay, but it doesn't actually have to lead to sex.

You see, this massage can actually be an entire experience, just to itself. And this is especially true for women who are pregnant, or women who have given birth vaginally because of the way that pregnancy and birth affects our pelvic floor. It's also wonderful for women who have experienced some sort of sexual trauma or where there has been a violation because this can help to create a safe, trusting and more close and connected relationship between her body and do Alright, so what am I talking about here?

Well, I'm talking about using your hands to give a massage to both her external vulva and internal vagina. And sometimes you'll hear me refer to this as a Yoni massage. Yoni is the Sanskrit word.

It's from Tantra, and that means it actually means sacred space. But it is a word that I think really beautifully applies to both the vagina and the vulva. Those words sound a little clinical to me in this instance, and I like to bring a little bit of lightness into this experience for you and your partner.

So let's talk just very briefly about female anatomy. Number one, the outside of the body is called the vulva. And this includes the clitoris.

This includes the interior labia, and the exterior labia. And also I like to think about the pubic mound, and the area sort of surrounding the opening of the vagina in total places where hair grows and where it doesn't grow. And underneath all of that is the pelvic floor.

And when you get into the vagina, you actually have access to her pelvic floor from the inside. And this is something that makes female bodies and vaginas really interesting and really distinct from male bodies and penises. And that's because with a penis, you can't actually massage from the inside of the body, you can't actually get to the muscles, it's sort of like the shoulder you got to rub it from the outside.

But massaging the inside of the vagina is like massaging the jaw from the inside of the mouth, it just creates a completely different experience that allows you to release tension in a way that you can't just by staying on the surface outside of just being a physical practice and Yoni massage and is an exercise in presence. It is a practice of slowness and trust, and your ability to hold a powerful and yeah healing, loving, compassionate space for your partner. If you can do this, well, you can be the source of her healing.

Or if you can't do this, or you do it poorly, it can be unfortunately, a piece of evidence or a barrier that exists between the two of you that prevents her from actually opening up to you fully and having those huge explosive expansive cosmic orgasmic experiences. Alright, so now that we've got that out of the way, how do you give a great Yoni massage? Number one, set up your consent agreement beforehand, determine if you are going to have sex or not like afterward and if she's a no In respect her know even if at the end of the massage, she's like, okay, change my mind be like Nope.

Before you said you didn't want to have sex, we're not going to do it. respecting her boundaries is extremely important because this is all about trust and safety. So set your consent agreement talk about what touches are okay, where it's okay to touch she might say for this first massage that you give her that she doesn't want you to enter into her vagina at all.

She may have other boundaries or ways that she does and does not want to be touched. That is okay, have that conversation. First, respect those limits.

Number two, set the scene, trim your fingernails and wash your hands. I cannot say that enough. If you have any cuts or scrapes or open wounds, feel free to use medical gloves.

If the two of you are not fluid bonded or you haven't had a conversation about STI STD status, just throw on some medical gloves that are super easy to use. And they actually make for a really, really smooth experience because they decreased friction, grab some body safe oil or some lube. Have a conversation with her about what works best for her body.

Number three, get present. Breathe together, consider even setting an intention. Maybe like your intention is to hold a loving space and her intention is just to be present and breathe.

That's mom. Number four. Introduce yourself.

Take your full hand and lightly very, very lightly hold it perfectly still over her whole vulva thinking about this as you introducing yourself letting her body get familiar with you. So often the reason that women experience pain during sex is because sex happened too fast before her body was actually able to adjust to hey, there's a stranger here. Oh, hey, he's coming inside.

Oh, hey, he's all the way inside. Okay, go slow. Okay, number five.

Start on the inner thighs and the outer labia using that oil or the loo make really long strokes with constant pressure moving very slowly. Work your way from the inside of her thighs across her entire external vulva and around to the other side. This piece is so important because remember, as I said all of her pelvic floor is located underneath and inside of where you are warming up with your hands as you work your way into and beyond the outer labia.

You begin to working your way into the inner labia or the soft, smooth sort of fleshy part that we usually think of as the vulva. Once you get into this area, you can use your thumbs to make little half circles, you can use a finger you can experiment and play and figure out what works best for her. You can do motions in the same direction motions in a circle.

sweeping motions, full palm motions, multiple finger motions go slow. And here's a pro tip. Do not forget the perineum, also known as the taint the space between her vaginal opening and her anus, especially if she is pregnant.

Now, I'm not a doctor, make sure that you consult with a physician to make sure that this is safe and okay for your individual pregnant person. But know that this spot the perineum is what typically gets cut into the PC Atomy. Wouldn't a Peasy Atomy is when someone goes to give vaginal delivery, vaginal birth, often the doctor will cut down a clean line down the woman's taint, or down her parent and prevent tearing.

But the way that our ancestors used to prevent that ripping and tearing was by massaging that part of the body because just like every other muscle, it can relax, it can expand. In fact, for hundreds of 1000s of years of evolution, it did expand and for those women that ripped and tore unfortunately, they would typically heal uneven this would be an uneven jagged line, which is why a lot of doctors prefer to have a very clean line, because if they cut with a scalpel, then they can sew those two parts of her body back together. But it is possible in some instances and it does take some work but it is possible to prevent an a Pz Atomy from even happening.

And of course if your partner has given birth, talk to her about whether or not she had an episiotomy or she has any scarring and treat this part of her body with extra extra love and care, no matter what her answer. Alright, so now that you have accomplished all the outside of the vulva, it's time for step six. We're going to move inside of the vagina.

I like to look at her vulva as a clock, look at her vagina as o'clock 12 o'clock, three o'clock, six o'clock, nine o'clock, etc. And you're going to take your finger and entering it just about a knuckle deep. You're going to hold one finger at each location on the clock while remaining present and breathing.

Go around all 12 rotating your finger as you go. Breathing and staying with her communicating with her to to talk about if there's areas that you need you to Stay give additional pressure, move quickly move back and forth whatever feels right for her take her direction. After you've gone all the way with one metal, ask her if it would feel good for her to go further inside, maybe two knuckles deep into her body.

And again, going in a circle. Once you have done this very slowly, then you can start to move I like to think of like creating little half circles, or little moons. You can if it feels good for her and go Sol sol, sol, sol, sol Sol slow, even if you had sex with her yesterday, and she was able to fully have intercourse.

The purpose of this exercise is to go extra extra slow and make it extra yummy. Go slow, you can start to if it feels right for her, you can put two thumbs in and work the inside of her pelvic floor with your thumbs, you can two fingers in and work the inside top and bottom of her whole vagina with your finger. This whole process everything that I've described should not take less than 20 minutes.

But honestly, you could do it over the course of two hours if you have the time. So think about in advance how much time you have. That's going to dictate how deeply you can get into this massage and how quickly you can move on to the next step.

And the next step. Hot Tip pro tip. Don't try to get it all done in one session, you could honestly just do the first part today.

The next part next week, the week after that two weeks after now, like there's no need to rush take all the time that you want with this. This is about building trust. This is about giving her body a chance to relax and feel safe with your presence with your touch.

I mean this is this is the real healing work that we're able to do for each other. Here's another tip ask her on a scale from one to five. If something feels good one means it doesn't feel good.

You can go ahead and stop and five means it feels really good. Go ahead and keep doing it. So keep checking in on a scale from one to five.

How does this feel on a scale from one to five? How does this feel ask her along the way if she wants you to use more or less pressure if she wants you to go slower or faster. And my biggest pro tip of it all, make sure that you both keep breathing.

When that man inside of my highperformance male sexual advantage community asked me what my biggest piece of advice is for massaging a woman on any part of her body. I said breathe like as long as you're breathing and as long as she's breathing, you will be able to give a great massage. And again make sure that if she is pregnant, especially if she is in her third trimester that you talk to a physician or a midwife or a doula or someone who is assisting and familiar with her particular pregnancy, about how you can best give her this Yoni massage.

It is a massive gift to give to pregnant women. And it is a massive gift to give to any woman who has a vulva at all, whether she experiences pain or not, whether she's given birth or not. It is a huge and often overlooked skill that you my friend can deliver to her.

And if you do, you will not just look like a great lover, you will not just look like someone who's very familiar with the female body and anatomy, you are actually going to appear to her as someone who has the power to heal her relationship with her body. And once you do that, the way that she can open up for you sexually will change dramatically. Don't take my word for it.

Check it out. And if you want to join my high performance mail coaching group, please check out the link below. We'd love to have you apply.

Thank you so much. I'm Caitlin V. It's been a pleasure.

I'll see you here next week.