[Music] oh Hank I'm so excited it's been so long since we've had a date night yeah we haven't been out together since the kids were born so what movie are we going to watch it's called stab it's a scary movie oh no Hank I hate scary movies I hope it's not violent Just sh and eat your popcorn the movie started who Could That Be darn it why the phone have to ring the movie was just getting good Hank why would you want to see that woman naked uh babies hello hello who is this yes no
seriously who is this were you expecting someone no are you sure about that Mariah this isn't Mariah what this isn't Mariah are you sure yeah Mar why is my next door neighbor [ __ ] damn son of a [ __ ] are you okay yeah I'm okay uh I'm okay it sounds like you need a cough drop oh people tell me that all the time so do you know if Mariah's home no she's on vacation in Guam okay so how's your night going it's fine I was just about to shower oh need someone to join
you ew no what a creep stupid prank cars [Applause] [Applause] oh he this move is too graphic dang it she died before we got to see her naked I need to go to the bathroom and get rid of this stiffy H will you grab me a Dr Peppa all right I'm going to look up boobies occup kabish someone's in here Buckhead I said someone's using the bathroom oh God damn hey are you de dumb blind and [ __ ] hurry up the [ __ ] all right well I guess you can [ __ ] while
I'm doing this come on in oh good you're back Hank did you get my Dr Pepper nope oh great I see how it is you couldn't get me a Dr Peppa but you could go to the gift shop and get you a costume from the guy in the movie oh you're so selfish ank oh hey what are you doing Hank I'm take the pop coin all right Susan what do you got for me it's Suzanne wait your name is Suzanne I've been calling you Susan this whole time no no no Suzanne Susan wait Susan Suzanne
no my name is Susan the victim's name is Suzanne okay one of you's got to change your [ __ ] name cuz that's really confusing she also has a daughter named Susie really you couldn't have been more creative with female names I mean like how about Lisa her name could have been Lisa and her daughter could have been Lucy I like that yeah that would have been nice but I mean it's too late now cuz we're already selling her on smlmerch.com link in the descript destion anyway so how did Suzanne die she was stabbed multiple
times well I don't see any blood well we can't show that YouTube doesn't like it oh okay so she was stabbed well what movie was she watching stab well no you already told me how she died I said what movie was she watching stab no I know she was stabbed I said what is the movie she was watching the movie stab when she got stabbed okay this is a really confusing [ __ ] day there's also a stab victim in the bathroom oh and what's his name Suzanne Hank hucker oh wait so so they're married
yes wait that means they probably have kids at home and that means somebody has to tell their kids their parents are dead can I do it no no no sir I think it's a good idea that I handle it no no no I'm really good at telling kids are parents to De no you got in trouble last time oh all right guy remember they have feelings try to take this seriously sus you're not supposed to answer the door for strangers hello knock knock the cops no let not how the joke works it's supposed to say
who's there knock knock who's there not your parents cuz the dead I don't get it that's so funny okay tough crowd uh let's see um have you kids ever had a goldfish yeah okay great and what happened to that goldfish it died okay perfect so now imagine you had two of those goldfish and both of them were your parents and then they died our parents are goldfish no no let's see goldfish goldfish crackers okay what happens when you eat Goldfish crackers in my belly no okay Jesus let's abandon the whole goldfish allegory okay so you
know how your parents weren't stabbed to death when they left the house yeah well that's changed what about the goldfish oh Jee okay your parents got stabbed to death at the movie theater okay there's dead as your stupid goldfish what what come I say God damn it guy when you tell kids their parents are dead you're supposed to be nice I was nice I said a knocknock joke and I tried to explain it with goldfish but guy you're supposed to be sincere you're supposed to say things like I'm so sorry for your loss you know
stuff like that but that's just going to make them sad I figured if I say it funny maybe it won't hurt so much well listen guy I'm suspending you suspending me yeah with with a killer on the loose that's really smart you know I'm the only cop left now that Simmons is dead well still guy I'm suspending you for 2 weeks with pay wait with pay are you sure that's a punishment that sounds like a paid vacation I got to yell at kids more often thank you so Tyrone Cody's asleep you know what that means
ooh I already know baby we get high as [ __ ] damn right pull out the fatty oh I already got it rolled up a gorilla finger somebody called tazan cuz we're about to go ape [ __ ] yeah baby go ahead and get a lot of your crazy crack ass [ __ ] homie we about to get lit baby all aboard the Polar Express cuz I know that guy was high as [ __ ] yeah zooted and boot it oh [ __ ] go go go go go go go go go go go go
get some good [ __ ] thought he had weak lungs for a second you know I thought you were going to kill us but you're cool as F no no no no no I wouldn't kill you guys you guys are my homies ah yeah he cool as hell he invite to cookout hey do you guys have a bottle of water bottle of water your thirsty ass old [ __ ] ass no you're a [ __ ] n you a [ __ ] I am I is that so freaking ass hey hey hey you guys want
to have a little fun what a little fun yeah let's let's do some prank calls sh oh yeah let's do prank calls prank calls all right guys let R hello hello who's this is your refrigerator running I mean it's on well you better go catch it who is this [ __ ] no seriously like what's the point of this phone call hey what's your favorite scary movie um I don't really like watching Scary Movies oh okay that's that's chill that's chill so how's your night going oh you know it's going pretty good just chilling killing
yeah I get that that well yeah I'm going to hang up now okay bye hey guys you know it'll be really funny what's that if I went over there and killed him if I literally went over there and killed him you guys think I I should kill him got kill him go on you guys dare me dare dare dare going to do it oh murder hey there Marvin oh what do you you doing here wow okay nice to see you too no I just meant like what are you doing here I just thought I would
come over and hang out with my best friend unless this is your way of saying we're not best friends oh no we are friends I just want to know what made you come over right now why are you busy you don't look busy I've never seen you be busy I just want to know what made you come over why do you have other friends coming no how was your day thank you so much for asking well I actually got suspended for my police job with pay what' you do well I told these two kids their
parents were dead but I did it in a funny way how are their parents dead they were brutally stabbed to death how was that funny oh no no it's not funny the way their parents died wasn't funny but the way I told the kids the parents died was funny how' you tell them well it's a whole thing you wouldn't understand it involves goldfish and a knocknock joke okay well I just figured since I have all this free time we could hang out you know it's October we could go do something fun you know go get
a pumpkin morbin go to a pumpkin patch morbin go get a pumpkin from a pumpkin patch morbin no I don't want to go to a pumpkin patch and get a pumpkin I'd rather do that in the daytime oh okay what who is that I don't know what but you you said you didn't have other friends coming so you better not have invited other friends I don't want to have to hang out with other people and I don't know him it would be really awkward I said there's no friends coming so that's not a friend okay
so then can I go tell them to go away well what if it's some un important well you just said you didn't invite other friends so it can't be somebody in Borton well it could be okay fine go answer it thank you are we going to go get a pumpkin I no no no we're not getting the pumpkin not right now maybe tomorrow hello Marvin says go away oh man really yeah wait who are you I'm his old friend wait how old because he and I go all the way back to 2010 oh me and
Marvin are old friends from C oh I can't break up college buddies you drink Mar this guy drinks like a fish he's [ __ ] awesome [ __ ] yeah I'm boofing it Jeffy is definitely not 21 and I don't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah hey guys can I be honest with you guys yeah sure man [ __ ] yeah I I was originally supposed to come over here to kill him what [ __ ] yeah yeah but I'm I'm not going to do it you guys are way too cool yeah
my man [ __ ] yeah Marvin you just keep saying [ __ ] yeah you okay buddy [ __ ] yeah all right all right but if anyone asks if anyone asks i k you all right you got it Budd [ __ ] yeah yeah [ __ ] yeah hey buddy one question who are you Charlie and friends was filmed in front of a live audience I never would have guessed [ __ ] yeah he [Music]
