at 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday in November 2022 the doorbell woke me up and completely changed my life I was in my senior year of college majoring in business and planning to graduate that summer I lived alone in a small apartment my 19-year-old sister Rebecca showed up at my door visibly anxious she apologized for waking me and said she couldn't wait to tell me something important concerned I asked what was wrong she told me she had had a vision Rebecca often has Visions so I wasn't entirely shocked but her urgency told me this one might
be different since childhood Rebecca's Visions have often come true at least partially they usually have two parts but only one part becomes reality for example she once saw mom feeding ducks in a park while a thief stole her handbag at the time we hadn't fully believed in her Visions but we soon saw a pattern mom had decided not to feed the Ducks when she saw them in the park a few days later and shortly after a thief took her bag had she stayed in the park longer the thief likely would have chosen her handbag from
that day we became cautious of the more troubling parts of her Visions we even avoided the worst outcomes sometimes for instance Rebecca once saw a dog being hit by a car we ended up rescuing a stray dog and finding it a new home saving it from the Fate Rebecca had foreseen recently Rebecca had another vision and this one Disturbed her deeply as we sat in my living room I asked her what she had seen Logan L Wagner born on February 14th 2000 passed away on November 3rd 2023 she said describing a grave that Mom and
I had visited that's a shock I responded what else Rebecca described a scene of a Christmas tree with Mom me and another woman sitting around it I was confused a woman did I dress up as one for Christmas no it wasn't just dressing up Rebecca replied you were much more feminine in the way you moved looked and behaved we drove to Mom's house an hour away to talk to her about it after all I was a man and had never dressed up as a woman this Vision seemed serious and we needed to discuss it mom
was shocked to hear about Rebecca's Vision especially after losing her father just the year before the thought of losing me too was almost unbearable although I was still figuring things out I realized there was a way out a chance to become a woman it wouldn't be easy or even possible right away but since the first part of Rebecca's Vision was supposed to happen in about a year the second part didn't have to happen that year we agreed that on November 3rd 2023 it would be better better for me to transition than risk the alternative the
decision was made to start immediately and I had already been researching online Rebecca insisted I begin by dressing as a woman to get used to it though hesitant I saw her Point she got to work quickly taking my measurements and telling me to shower and shave my legs and beard panty hose won't look good on hairy legs she said I followed her instructions while Mom and Rebecca picked out clothes for me from the ones my sister had left at mom's place while she was away after using the restroom at school in the city I stood
in front of a pile of women's clothing with some help I put on a black skirt a red sweater tan panty hose and a bra filled with socks my feet were too large for either mom's or Rebecca's shoes so I didn't wear any I had no makeup and my hair was too short to look like a woman's but as soon as I was shown the vanity everything changed mom and Rebecca taught me how to apply makeup but they insisted I do it myself knowing they wouldn't always be around to help after a lot of Corrections
they gave their approval however when I saw myself in the full length mirror I felt disappointed I still looked like a man in women's clothes and makeup not a woman there was clearly more work to do and I still had almost a year to perfect it the short hair didn't help either mom noticed noticed my disappointed expression and comforted me don't worry this is just your first try with a wig it'll look much better besides you don't have any jewelry yet Rebecca added you'll need to get your ears pierced for earrings Is there anything else
I asked Mom smiled what name would you have given me if I were born a girl we didn't pick any female names because we knew you were a boy she said but we'll figure it out as you go Rebecca thought for a moment I like Leah it's close to your male name okay I'll be Leah I said though I still felt uneasy in the outfit I guess I can take this off now I thought but Rebecca stopped me no Leah you're far from finished it led to practice sitting standing and walking like a woman I
was glad I wasn't yet wearing heels like Rebecca had planned for me to do soon you still have a lot to learn Rebecca said it's best to wear women's clothes as often as possible so it starts to feel natural when it was time to return to the city I took off the makeup and clothes and put on my regular attire Rebecca had brought some of her makeup and clothes including night gowns for me to wear when I got home I was relieved to live alone because the next morning in my pajamas I probably looked ridiculous
but before long I was back in mail clothes and headed to college during my free time I searched online quickly becoming overwhelmed by the vast number of resources despite the confusion I did learn a lot about being transgender I didn't want to dress up again when I got home but I knew it was necessary so I put together an outfit added makeup and tried to act like a woman for the evening but I didn't feel like one the next day Rebecca took me shopping we went to a wig store where an elderly woman helped us
when I nervously confessed I was looking for a wig for myself she reassured me saying many crossdressers bought wigs from her store the embarrassment was worth it because they had a wide selection of highquality wigs I found one that was shoulder length the same blonde color as my own hair next we went to a shoe store I had to adjust to the fact that I was no longer just a man trying on women's shoes in private when a young saleswoman asked if she could help I hesitated but finally said I needed women's shoes she measured
my feet and told me I was a size 10 in women's shoes Rebecca suggested I try on both dressy black pumps and Casual Flats as I put on the shoes the saleswoman asked why I needed them I'm a crossdresser and I want to become a woman I answered which was close to the truth she smiled warmly and said that must be difficult but you'll make a pretty woman thanks that's kind of you I replied surprised at her positive reaction she introduced herself as Lily and said you're always welcome here thank you I'm Logan well soon
Leah this is my sister Rebecca I explained that I was just starting my journey still doing research and needed a lot of practice before I could pass as a woman in public she offered to help and I agreed since I liked Lily we exchanged phone numbers and planned to meet on Sunday I eventually chose three pairs of shoes Flats pumps with low heels and 4in stiletto heels Rebecca assured me that I'd get used to the high heels although I was unsteady and nearly fell the first time I tried standing in them my sister helped me
a couple of times but she had her own life to manage over the next few days I continued my research online and dressed up at home in the evenings with the wig I looked much more feminine and didn't feel as ridiculous anymore I was nervous on Sunday because it would be the first time anyone besides my family saw me dressed as a woman when Lily arrived we didn't start right away because we didn't know much about each other she was a year younger than me and still lived with her family I considered meeting her dressed
as a woman but I thought she might prefer to see each step of the transformation we quickly found common ground and I grew more comfortable with her before starting Lily gave me some makeup tips that my mom and sister hadn't mentioned she wasn't as fortunate as I was to have Rich parents and couldn't attend College full-time but she took evening courses eventually I stood in front of Lily wearing a blue dress dark hoser black pumps a wide belt a silk scarf and some bracelets L hugged me and said Leah you're really pretty I blushed and
hugged her back replying thank you but you're the pretty one she smiled then kissed me it was a romantic dinner with Candlelight and wine when we parted we were both a bit embarrassed but I didn't regret it at all after dinner I modeled some of the clothes my sister had given me Rebecca had tried to choose pieces that would fit but some didn't look quite right on me they were also used but with Rebecca's encouraging smile I felt comfortable in women's clothing for the first time time as we said our goodbyes we kissed again Lily
suggested we go shopping the following Wednesday her day off I went with Lily to try on a few clothes we found a store where I tried on underwear and she insisted on buying Lacy bras panties gter belts and stockings saying she liked her girlfriends to look nice afterward we had a quick meal before saying goodbye the next Sunday I surprised Lily by meeting her in a red top a tight black miniskirt black stockings and my 4-in heels I had practiced walking in the heels until I could do it comfortably Lily suggested we go outside and
though I wasn't ready to be seen as a woman yet I agreed to at least take a walk we changed into more comfortable clothes then went for a walk around the neighborhood I was nervous but after several people passed by without reacting I felt more at ease when no one was around we held hands and and shared a kiss taking those first steps as a woman in public gave me a huge boost in confidence and knowing Lily accepted me made it easier to wear women's clothing I still wasn't sure if I could live as a
woman or if I'd miss being a man the evening ended too soon and Lily had to go home but not before I kissed her and promised we'd go out next Saturday I joined a support group for crossdresses that met twice a month the next meeting was the following week so I decided to go one thing that bothered me was my voice it didn't sound feminine at all luckily I found a voice training tape online and bought it I began practicing with the samples I downloaded I planned to go out as a woman that Saturday but
developed serious doubts the rooms were lit and I was sure people would recognize me as a man possibly reacting negatively I had no idea where to go and I wasn't ready to come out at my usual spots I called her to cancel but she had already left though she was clearly disappointed when she arrived she said she could relate to my fear she suggested that we still go out but I would go as a man I was relieved that getting ready for a night out as a man didn't take nearly as long as it did
for women so my girlfriend didn't have to wait too long and we could enjoy the night right away we entered my bedroom as soon as we got home and since Lily had packed a bag to stay with us we had the entire night night ahead of us I noticed the look in her eyes when I put on my wig female underwear and breast forms it was worth it for that glow for the first time in a long while I didn't wake up alone on Sunday morning naturally I dressed as a woman again this time in
casual jeans and a sweater we cuddled and spent the day together Lily even got me outside for a walk before it got too dark which boosted my confidence since everything went smoothly the day went by far too quickly but at least my girlfriend had agreed to accompany me to the support group meeting on Thursday so we'd have another chance to be together the voice training tape arrived on Tuesday and I began using the lessons right away later that evening the doorbell rang unexpectedly I was dressed as a woman when I opened the door as I
usually was now when my friends came over they typically called first so I wasn't sure whether I should open the door I felt apprehensive Ive but I reminded myself that it would eventually come out anyway I was happy to see my sister when I opened the door and had to tell her everything that had happened over the past two weeks she complimented how I looked and was pleased with how things were going she offered her help again but by that point I had all the support I needed Thursday arrived and I needed to get ready
for the support group I decided to wear a casual dress and flat pumps aiming for a feminine look without going overboard Lily liked what I chose but I was anxious when it was time to leave I would have to leave during the day meet people as a woman and speak in a deep voice nevertheless I knew they would understand because they had similar experiences we drove off and when we arrived I had to enter the meeting room Lily held my hand to calm me down many women and a few men were already there the majority
of the men looked boyish and many of the women were clearly crossdressers the ages ranged from 20 to 50 and the attire ranged from casual to evening wear hello you to must be new here one woman greeted us thank you I replied my voice not quite feminine I think we called last week I'm Leah and this is my girlfriend Lily we're a pretty mixed group today she said and then we were told that the meeting would include a lecture on beard removal methods followed by some some discussion and then most of us would head to
a bar for a nice evening out the lecture was informative it seemed that the new laser treatments were still not as effective as conventional electrolysis and I got contact details for a reputable electrolysis Clinic after the meeting we went to a nearby bar with the other members despite knowing I might be identified as a man especially if I spoke I felt comfortable and at ease with the group the conversation was enoy enjoyable and informative I got recommendations for a therapist an endocrinologist and other places to check out some even invited me to join them on
Saturday I agreed and this time I would truly go out as a woman since I had already received compliments on my appearance the evening ended early as the next day was a workday given that Christmas was just 2 weeks away the next support group meeting would be in 4 weeks I scheduled appointment with the recommended therapist and electrolysis specialist due to a cancellation I could see the electrolysis specialist the following Wednesday but the therapist wouldn't be available until January 5th although my Saturday night out as a woman had been enjoyable I ran into a neighbor
on the stairs as I was leaving my apartment he gave me a strange look but said nothing that kind of reaction was bound to happen eventually
