So we were saying. . .

that in the world of Vedic tradition there are some jewels, one of them, is the capacity of expressing our feelings effectively; That there is something to be learnt, which becomes very clear. . .

when you interact these masters you see how they relate, how they expose themselves, how they are honest and at the same time. . .

they don't attack the person with their truth we also saw that for me to express that, the first change there must be is a philosophical change a change in the way I see relationships. So that my speech, my wishes, even my expressions are in agreement with this philosophy. If I believe in the philosophy of ultimatums, which is the philosophy that is sold to us, I'm damned.

Because I actually can't be helped emotionally making ultimatums to another person this philosophies have many arms, we need to talk a bit more about them so that we understand. Another philosophy which is very sad, which exist today, we jokingly call it the sex and the city philosophy, you know that series? Sex and the City?

It's a woman, who wants to show she independent shaking her head while talking. Got it? Which is a symbol of that.

And everyone watches the series, which is nothing less than the romantic deceptions the woman has to the end of the series. How can a person, talk to someone like this? Get it?

how can a person relate based on independence Think about it. It's a basic incoherence, we are not perfect, really perfect. Who sits alone by the shore, well, if you want to get along with others.

. . first you need to get along alone, in that case it's done, no one will ever accomplish it.

Everyone would sit, close their eyes, get depressed, and freak out. One keeps needing stuff to get along with himself. How can you have a relationship whose base is: I'm free, I don't depend on anyone and I'm happy alone?

That isn't the base of a relationship, you are mistaken. The Occidental philosophy sold to us that: a relationship is based around a calm and solitary person who relates to others based on that. Is a big lie.

A huge lie. And due to this lie, The relationships become hell. Because you judge the other person as broken.

The guy is with his wife, the wife, as any woman, has her emotional issues way more than men, he looks at her and say: "she has a problem". Think about it, and then she screams sometimes she is confused, you say "what do you want? " she says "I don't know".

”If you don't know what you want then it's tough darling. . .

" Because that is what is preached in society then "whole-rational" man, stays put as if he never had any issues "Oh, I'm perfect" so you take a magnifying lens, get closer to the husband trying to understand. It's nice because husband and wife is a. .

. . .

. an icon. We are not really talking about men and women, we are talking about yin mind and yang mind.

Because it is a definition of a behavior, there are men who will do the same thing I just said But that doesn’t matter. Then you get close to the husband, and you go see. .

. not even in his marriage he smiled. Not even in his marriage!

"You may now kiss the bride. . .

" Tutankhamun mummy. . .

How can this person be happy? He isnt happy with himself. When he looks at the mirror he won't smile, he won't do this, right?

and goes aways Where is this perfect person? I don’t know this perfect person So, society lives a big bluff Which is. .

. Imagining there is a perfect person, and that this person is perfect, independent, righteous. .

. without emotions, and this perfect person. .

. is what I need to be in order to relate to others, therefore the other also must be this perfect person What will happen now? I will condemn myself because I am not perfect and the other person also will never be So we live in constant conflict.

. . A constant conflict So look what happens now: When we look at relationships inside the Vedic perception The idea isnt that.

. . I need to be in peace to relate to others.

It's the opposite. In this Earth. .

. No one arrive sin peace with ones self It's a lie And it's way easier. .

. For you to see the issue in others than the issue in you, right? So you start with the other, not with you.

The other person is an instrument. . .

For you to reach yourself. Not, You first correct yourself for later on to reach the other person, no. Through the other you think about yourself.

When you criticize the other you are criticizing yourself, you project yourself in the other person. It's much easier for a controlling person. .

. For a close minded person, to criticize everyone and not themselves It's much easier a close minded, conservative person find love for someone else other than for himself The road is alternated Im not using the other person to express the perfect plenitude I am, and give her my beautiful love, no. .

. I can't love myself, And this person agreed to live with me. .

. And be an instrument for me to find this love for myself. And he or she also have the same issue, and they are using each other, so.

. . .

It starts to be another type of relationship. The relationship isnt between two independent person, the word independent already tells that. So, Since I have human necessities, I need affections, I need respect.

. . need for love.

. . need for safety, need for pleasure, infinite needs.

Which I can't address alone, I get together with someone, Who will help me to fill these needs. And I, too, will also want to help her with her needs, naturally. because she has many necessities if she doesn't have many necessities what is the pleasure I feel while interacting with her?

Which is what they call: The Superman syndrome, heard about it? Superman. The Superman, Yeah "Super homem".

The Superman, he is the most. . .

boring character on cinema. The most boring movie. Because nothing happens to him.

Zero. Think about it. How can you relate to this character?

The people can't relate to Superman. I know because I'm writing a script now, helping some friends. What makes the hero, the hero.

. . .

. . are the defects the hero has.

It isn't the hero being perfect. Because if the hero is perfect, what happens to the person watching? She doesn't relate to it and she feels.

. . .

. . inferior, obviously!

So, when I don't want to express. . .

. . .

in my workplace, or in my relationship. . .

. . .

my problems, my issues because I don't want to bother the other person. . .

. . .

i don't want her to feel responsible for me, I want her to only do things because she wants to do it, then I won't tell her anything so that she can choose for herself. . .

What am I doing? Psychological torture. No one asked to interact with Superman.

"Super homem", no one asked. When I show to other person that I'm invincible. .

. . .

. I’m not helping the other person, what will they call me? Arrogant.

"Who do you think you are? " "You come here and do this and that. .

. " you don't see a person there It isnt fun. There is no relationship, the people won't relate as equals.

When Superman discovers Kryptonite, You know? Kryptonite, in the stories? Now, Louis Lane has a role in the movie.

Saving the Superman when the Kryptonite shows up, right? The kryptonite shows up, Superman can't do anything, some one needs to act, then Louis Lane comes and. .

. Do something. Watch: We all have our.

. . kryptonite.

When the kryptonite shows up the other person has a role to play. If there was no kryptonite there would be no Louis Lane. In the same way in our relationships, get it?

There is a weakness behind all of us, this weakness is what gives pleasure to the other person in relating to us. When we hide this weakness. .

. . .

. we think we are helping, but we are not. In reality we are not helping, because the purpose of a relationship is this weakness.

If there was no weakness there wouldn't be relationships. ”I don't need anything, I don't need you, I don't need work, I don't need money, I don't need friends, I don't need this, I don't need that. .

. " So go live in island of Forest Gump, go there. Obviously it isnt like that.

I say I don't need respect, but I hope people call me on my birthday, I don't need respect. . .

. . .

but I'm sad because of the way so and so looked at me. I don’t feel anything for anyone, but behind there is that expression. .

. . .

. . right?

That mummy, you can read if the person is happy or unhappy. . .

. It's filled with emotions. And if I don't release this emotions, two people can't, in any way, relate effectively So, the second paradigm.

. . .

. . what is behind the human relationships, Is the vulnerability.

What is behind my relationship with others, Are my necessities, are my vulnerabilities, are my emotions. When I don't place this emotions at the table, there isnt a relationship, think about it. You arrive at work and someone says "Hey!

Good morning. " "Good morning so and so. " Where is the relationship?

There is no relationship, there are two smiles, "Good morning! " "Good morning. " "Please, could someone open the door for me?

" The receptionist goes and open the door. . .

"Thanks. " Till this point a machine would make the exact same job as anyone. The same work.

Then time goes by and so on, then a. . .

. . .

a student arrives. The naughty one, in yoga spaces there is always the naughty one. Who thinks that just because he pays he can do anything.

In Rio we have many. Then the naughty student comes up and treats the receptionist badly. The receptionist is sad.

Then the owner of the space comes and says: "What happened? " "Oh, I hate this woman. " "She comes here and say some.

. . " "Somethings you won't even believe, I can't repeat it.

. . " "I can't even tell you.

" "What did she say? " "She said that this job is the only one that fits me. " "Just because I told her I couldn’t give her a discount this month.

" "Because there was no discount. " "Only those who enrolled this month can have it. " "You told me that, but I ended up giving her the discount.

" Now you have a relationship. There is something there. There now exists an exchange, because this person showed the kryptonite.

. . She showed her emotions.

She showed her issues, the other person also presented herself as a person Hearing the other, he will be able to judge. . .

. . .

he will be able to defend her and, if needed, expel the student. Which is what he should do. He will be able to say "Take the day off.

" "Relax. " "This person is indeed tough, let me handle it, if she comes annoy you get out of the desk and come call me and I'll deal with her. " In the Hotels thats how they do it.

When the guest starts being very annoying, the receptionist gets out without saying a word and calls the manager, the manager comes and it looks as if the receptionist went to the bathroom. There is an exchange. And therefore we say that there is a relationship, the two persons are relating.

Because they are exposing themselves to one another, their emotions, their needs and their human vulnerability. So, being a human means exposing your vulnerabilities. some people might say: "You need to separate.

. . " This is a sad thing.

. . ".

. . you need to separate the personal from the personal and go to work.

" What? ! How can I split it?

Explain, because I don't know. How can you separate the personal form the professional and go work? Am I a coca-cola machine going to work?

It doesn’t work, it doesn't work like that. Think about it, if you are. .

. . .

. if you stop and think. How much time do you spend at your job?

How much time do you spend at home? Right? 80% of the time you are working, asking someone to forget the personal and go work, You are telling, in other words: "Look, let me tell you something, this is how we do it:" "I don't give a damn about what you need, what you feel, what you want, I don't care.

" "I just want you to sit here and open this door. " It's the same as saying: "Separate the personal from the professional and come work, deal with your problems outside. " This isnt a human request.

Obviously not. This is a control mechanism of people. No one ever managed to do this, what happens?

The person gets nervous and try to work, then treats everyone badly. So the next time the student comes, "I'll forget the personal and tell her that I can't give her the discount. .

. " "And when she went to the gate, I pressed the close button, she got stuck, and she broke the gate, thats what happened. " "She needs to pay for it, not me".

Where you really have a separation between the personal and the professional? So, all these things we hear our whole lives Are actually mental viruses of some sort. The society is filled with viruses.

That lives in someones mind and is spread as if true. And makes the persons life hell. And what is this study?

Is an anti-virus. And it's so true, That even if you’ve been doing the same thing or 20 years. .

. When you hear something like this, the thought sticks with another And says "Man, this isnt true. " "It isnt right.

" "I don't know how to do it. " "And actually, it's been a long time since I last did this, but one thing. .

. " "I understand. " "I would like to do it this way.

" "I don't know if it's possible," thats how we think nowadays, "I don't know if people really can. . .

" "Express themselves outside this realm of thing. " But I can tell you, it is very possible. And it's not just possible, it's very rewarding and very good.

There is a way. . .

Of me communicate with you, you communicate with others which isnt simply. . .

Vomiting emotions all around. Neither it is holding all emotions to ourselves. There is a way of placing myself to a person.

. . Free.

From this structure of society: Have to, can and can't, right and wrong. Obligations, rights, all this structure which was delivered to us. The poets, from not only the Vedic tradition.

There is a very famous poet called Rumi. A Sufi poet. And he as a phrase that goes like: "There is.

. . a place.

. . beyond.

. . right and wrong.

. . i’ll find you there.

" Have you seen this line? It's very famous: "There is a place beyond right and wrong, I'll find you there. " No one was born with defects.

"God, during the creation, created everyone perfect except my husband. " No! It doesn't work like that, no one was born defective.

No one was born with defects. If no one was born with defects, right and wrong is a ridiculous concept. Good and evil is another even more ridiculous concept.

Have you woke up saying: "Today I want to kill a dog. " "I want to hit a kid. " No one wakes up like that.

"Today I'll wake up and make my boss's life hell. " "Thats what I'm gonna do today. " No one says that.

No one, everyone wakes up hoping to go to work in peace. Waiting to be with the dog in peace. Waiting to be with his son in peace, everyone.

Even the person who fights with us wakes up like this. You need to be very superficial. To believe that the other person woke up differently from me and everyone else.

Everyone. . .

Has this internal hope of peace. How can I imagine there is a bad person in front of me? There are no bad people.

There are no enemies, all there is is ignorance. He isn’t an enemy, the other person doesn't want to herm me, I don't want to harm him then why would he want to harm me? When I create this possibility in my mind.

. . I create violence.

For me to destroy violence in the way I speak, I need to destroy the possibility in my mind of. . .

The existence of my enemy. Otherwise this communication isnt possible, think. I was in the plane coming here, this happened.

So when I was in the plane. . .

I. . .

Placed my things in the seat. . .

Went to the bathroom and came back. When I came back. .

. The alley was filled with people, I couldn’t move, and there was this old man sitting there. He was slim and I tried to get in front of him for the person to move.

But I really took more time than needed. Because there was no way, too much people. Suddenly the old man gets up and say: "Excuse me, I need to get out.

" He pushed me kind of violently, and I thought "Wow, damn. Well, ok. " I thought, "Damn!

" And he got out. And I stayed there waiting him. .

. Getting ready and seat back. When he came back, he also pushed me violently and stepped in my foot!

What is the option of the heart now? Because it's very easy for me to hit his nose. And he becoming unable to travel.

It's very easy to anyone. Actually, it is the natural impulse. Right?

A very ignorant person comes talk to us in a moment of fragility. Right, because we never know how psychopathic the other person is. A 30 year old guy, like me, Brazilian.

. . Being stepped on the foot by an english men.

. . He was very lucky.

. . Poor old man, if it was any of my other friends.

. . He wouldn't be able to travel anymore.

Then, there I was. But immediately, The mind has an option now. And thats it.

In the same way, sometimes when we need to go to the bathroom we go crazy. The person might have fear of planes and we don't know it. The person may have some other problem and we don't know.

The last thing that old men wants is to make me harm. Think about it. Why would he want to?

He might have a necessity of being in his seat and I might be bothering him on that. Maybe I bothered him and I didn’t noticed. And he really didn’t need to do that.

And even if he came again I was prepared, he would sit in his chair and I wouldn't hurt him, because it isn't necessary. The mind has an option, if I decide that the old guy was bad. .

. What happens? He won't be able to travel, because who is evil.

. . Come on, don't think, who is bad.

. . ?

No one? Ok look, what happens to who is bad? Oh, he dies, very good.

That is the conditioning. Get it? Who makes a mistake Who makes a mistake.

. . Is punished.

Isn’t it? In Brazil we say that. "Who sins, pays.

" And who pays, pays where? Pays with what? With the body, with blood.

In the same way, in the depts of hell. Get it? Then the minds becomes aggressive.

Everything is automatic. Automatically. When I turn the person bad, the mind goes "Who sins.

. . Pays, and who pays suffers like I did, where?

In hell. Bam, a punch to the nose. Our minds work like this.

When the mind enters this state is when she falls Downhill, thats when a yoga class is very useful. You hold her Hold her and say: "Stop! " "Stop, there is no evil man!

" "Jonas, there is no evil old man. " "There is no evil man. " "But didn’t he step on my foot?

" "Why do you think he stepped on your foot? " "Why? " "Because he is bad.

" "No, he isnt bad. Think with me, are you evil? " "No, I'm not.

" "Do you think some specific person came to this plane today thinking, "Oh, I will step on Jonas foot today", ? "So don't over react! " "Please don’t!

He isnt a bad person, he is. . .

a lost person. " "He isnt a bad person, he is just lost in this situation. " "Lost in suffering, lost in ignorance.

" "In the same way, when we are lost, we do the same as him. " In the same way. If you were there, in his place with someone.

. . Pushing you with his physiological necessities which we don't know nothing about.

. . You would also step on the other person, right?

What do you do when you see someone evil? You make her pay. What do you do when you see someone sick?

You help, you have mercy, it generates an internal compassion. Then the mind does what? She flips.

Instead of going. . .

"It's evil, so I'll destroy. " "No, he is sick. Damn, I didn’t even know.

" Imagine if it was a person with bone pins in his arm. Travelling in the airplane. What would you do?

You wouldn't even get in her space pushing her, much the very opposite. If you even touched her you would go, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. " So now you discovered that the mans mind is filled with bone pins.

So you. . .

"Look sir, I'm sorry ok? " You place your hand in his back and say: "Be happy. " I seat in my seat.

And relax. Done. And the other possibility, what do you think would happen if I hit his nose?

Firstly, I might end up not travelling as well. I wouldn’t be here. .

Making this "Caravana" here in Portugal. Most importantly, I wouldn’t travel in peace. Obviously I wouldn't.

I would travel thinking the whole way that this guy would want revenge. Thank God I wasn’t on the alley. So first.

Secondly, I would imagine the opinion of everyone around. Sometimes the people don't even know whats going on The old man was subtle, and I would hit him. And the Flight Attendant would come, then someone.

. . I wouldn't travel in peace.

I wouldn’t be able to sleep with such a violent act. Obviously not. This violence is very expensive.

But, in exchange. What did I loose? Of course I won't allow him to step on my foot again, no one is saying to be beaten in life, that is not the message.

I did my role. I cooled down and sat, if he came step on me again I would push him, he can't step on my foot no one has that right. It doesn't matter the age Now, my energy.

. . Isn't the energy of someone who is hitting someone evil.

It is the energy of someone who is dealing with a little child. If a child steps on my foot, what do I do? I will hit her?

No, you go like "Hey, stop! No, no. " Get it?

You won't do it. You don't feel divided if you push a child in order for her to don't step in your foot. And if she get hurt when you push her, what will you say?

"Im sorry. " "I also didn’t want you to get hurt. " "I just don't want anyone stepping on my foot.

" There is another energy to do things, and we need to access this energy internally. So that we can establish this communication. So lets recap.

We don't want to be people, Who are independent and shake their head. Much less the Tutankhamen mummy. Right?

The Superman. Emotion-less. The two people, Are completely uninteresting.

And to be honest, they are utopic, none of those two actually exist. And when people try to be. .

. Sex and the City or Superman. .

. There is no relationship. There is only a plasticity.

Between the two persons. One smiles, the other smiles back. "All fine?

" "All fine. " Fine? !

Who is fine? Right? Share and it will be fine.

Life doesn't meant fine, it means challenges, emotions, questions to solve. When a person asks "All fine? " and the other person answers "All fine.

", they aren’t relating. The relationship didn’t even start yet. Then I need to place my emotions and my vulnerabilities on the tables, when I do so what happens?

The opposite of what I expected. Instead of the person running away. What does she do?

She finds herself useful. She has something to contribute. She gets closer.

Many women do that. They look for a husband with certain fragility to take care of them. And she feels good taking care of him.

If the guy doesn't show any fragility, she goes: "What will I take care of? How will I contribute to his life? " "Where is my contribution?

Cooking? Cooking isnt a contribution. " I'm not talking about the home, I'm talking about him.

Im not speaking about. . .

Putting money in the bank, I'm talking about her, how can you contribute to her? It isn't the money that you place on her account every end of the month, 'cause that is another issue. .

. How? For 2 people to relate.

. . They need to put their vulnerabilities on the table.

I’m repeating this many times, because that is the true point. When I'm communicating, I'm hitting the mic. How am I hitting the mic?

Saying that everyone is dumb after 3 years. And that no one ever fixed that phone, how can that be? That I hate giving class in this place, which is trash, the people are incompetent.

Everyone will run out of here. In the last day of course the guy drops this? Either I'm hitting the mic.

. . Saying how much in agony I am, and how much I wished I gave a good class.

. . And how stressed I am.

. . How nervous I am.

. . Im not condemning anyone, I'm exposing myself, he finishes hitting the mic and exposes himself.

And the students end up more connected to him than before. The class started well. He connected to people How can the sister talk about her marriage?

She will say: "Look. . .

" "Ill marry and I would love for you to come. " '"But if you can't, I understand. " "There is no problem, but I want you to know it, and I would love to see you there.

" Who wouldn't want to receive such invitation? "I will marry. " "And if you are not here.

. . " "You don't need to ever come see me again!

" Done. Who wants to go to this marriage? No one.

Place them in a tight corner, no one wants to go. No one wants this type of relationship. "Look teacher, I admire you very much , you are the Sun, the Water and the Light.

. . " "Bye!

" I don’t want this relationship. . .

. this student is "Bye. " No one wants to relate to a person who acts like a slave.

As if he needed to submit himself to the other, no one wants that. Only a psychopath "Look, I'll allow you to come to my class because. .

. " "Because, yes! " "And you’ll come.

. . " "Sit there, we agreed on 3pm, but I'll come at 3:30.

" "You stay in silence. . .

" Who wants to relate to a teacher like this? Human relationships are always egalitarian. Mainly on the spiritual world, mainly on the spiritual world.

When the teacher of whatever, yoga, vedanta. . .

whatever it is, Treats someone as better than other. Run away! It's best thing you can do, run away.

Even more in this theme about how everyone is equal. . .

. How can he make someone different? Superior?

Right? Even worse superior, not different, superior. Get it.

. . Nope, it doesn't work So.

. . This complete exchange of philosophies Must be expressed.

. . Progressively in the way I communicate.

. . So, now, from now on.

. . From our next class onwards.

Ill be giving some ways. . .

Of how to do this. Objectively. And well do an exercise.