The Really Good Podcast | Shaq: "Google Shaq in a pink thong"

hey guys welcome to the really good podcast with your host Bobby altoff I'm here with uh can you introduce yourself please my name is DrShaquille O'Neal doctor where did you go to school I went to Bear University I have a PhD in education do you really yes ma'am and it's not honorary like you actually went yes ma'am well congratulations on your career as a doctor thank you what what type of medicine do you practice no not that type of doctor what type of doctor are you I'm not a medical doctor you're a psychiatrist no you're you have a minor in Psychology you have a minor oh yes so you're like a therapist I can be if I want to okay also could have been a professor but I don't you don't want to do that no do you see patients regularly all the time and they talk to you about their problems they don't talk they just listen you just talk to them yes by your problems yes I'm gonna pay you for that well they don't pay why do you do that charity because I'm the love doctor okay and they don't pay me because if they pay me that would be illegal so I guess it's free great um thank you for sharing that with me yes ma'am um well thank you for seeing me and being on my podcast today I do appreciate you doing that and taking your time oh wow thank you I do I appreciate that I like your sunglasses thank you do you always wear them yes yes you never take them off even when you shower no that doesn't get uncomfortable I don't really shower shower ever no I can kind of tell s a little bit in here you smell like roses right [Music] I like do you take it from an old lady or you just go to the store and you ask for it I didn't I didn't mean like steal it I meant like do you get it from a store dude yes I get it from the store okay you don't like meet up with an old lady and ask her for her whatever she uses now don't do old ladies yet but I am checking in the old folks home when I when I turn 69. that soon isn't that no that's 18 years from now okay that's much further than I thought it's gonna be fun do you have friends that are gonna check in with you yeah I got Brian I got Logan I got scoop I got DMACC I got Joe I got Kendall we're gonna have fun okay they are they want to do this too no they're gonna have to okay you don't want to stay home with your family that will be well is your family gonna come with you no just do you have kids you don't have kids they say I have a lot of kids but Maury Povich has been canceled so we'll never know I'm sorry to hear that so what do you do now just to your doctor and that's it DrDJ DJ yeah what is can you tell me more about that what does that mean labels and you play music and the crowd jumps up and down you like doing that yes yes you like when the crowd jumps up and down yeah I've that's that's kind of cool reminds me of a game basketball game has anybody ever told you that you might be good at basketball you're kind of tall when you walked in yeah people people have said uh I was the best back in the day long time you played basketball yeah when you were when you were a toddler that's wow oh no when I was a toddler you played basketball 97. yeah I came in in 32 won my first championship when you were three four and five years old wow in L.

A that's where you're from right I sort of like Inland more but yeah what's Inland the Corona area Riverside okay yeah I used to go hunting in in Riverside where wild boar is that legal yes it is hunting in Riverside never heard of such a thing in the mountains when you were like not playing basketball you went hunting yes after games after games yep because you want to get there by 6 a. m so you can kill the coyotes so you're hunting coyotes and wild Warriors that's pretty cool thank you um I coyote ate my dog when I was younger I'm sorry to hear that I hope you killed black coyote it was in the same area so maybe you did me too it still makes me sad when I think about it I can get you a new puppy if you like can you I sure can because you have a lot of money nope because I know you have beautiful children and children love Uncle Shacks or whatever you need I got you okay you want to be their Uncle I am their Uncle you are yes okay uh let's have them meet next time you're in L. A no problem they would like to meet you they're they're a little bit smaller than you not by much though that's fine my kids are in the 90th percentile for height so they're yeah they're they're about that my daughter is projected to be eight feet tall eight feet yeah how tall are you I'm seven foot one yeah she's gonna be taller than you I hope not why nowhere to be that tall I wanted to be like you very petite and beautiful oh my God thank you for calling me beautiful even though you're beautiful I just didn't think you'd call me that they're gorgeous thank you I actually thought you're like 21 you're 26 here uh yeah I'm not not 21.

those days are behind me yeah now I'm a mother I've got children I'm old not old all right guys this episode of the really good podcast is being crawled by cash app you know it you use it you love it I use it I love it but today I want to share with you guys something that you may have never heard of before the pink card the pink card has something called offers which gets you instant discounts on things like groceries podcasting equipment so you guys can follow after me there are no minimum balance requirements and no monthly fees this card is fully customizable so you can do whatever you want to it to personalize it you can draw on it whatever shows your personality best look at mine it says my name because I love myself as soon as you're done watching my podcast you can order your pink card and match with me don't get my name or do I don't really care actually guys I was thinking about it and I'm going to allow you to do this while you're watching my podcast so while you're finishing it up go ahead get your phone out and order your PIN card now have a great day now back to your show order your pink card with cash shop are you you're married no ma'am okay what's that ring on your finger it's a camera oh God can you turn it off please no I don't like cameras on me it never goes off I don't like cameras on me this is a certain angle that's a bad angle I like the camera to come from the front if they're gonna be on me thank you hi it never turns off okay are you just gonna hold your hand like thought the rest of the interview you want me to it's your camera I'll turn it off thank you but I'll turn it back on okay I'm gonna turn it off okay thank you I appreciate you doing that yes foreign do you play sports nope not anymore why too old are you 51 years old you don't look like you're 51. thank you I thought you were my age I wish I was your age I'd be making 700 million dollars right now why because a lot of these young guys that are my age that's what they're making now that's not what you were making back then no I wish I was have you tried to play again yes I have and I'm terrible at it I don't believe that I can't even jump you can't jump at all I feel like you don't even have to jump you're already reaching wherever you need to reach a little bit and I just had hip surgery that makes it difficult who's this sex symbol my videographer no not the guy in the black shirt he's hot that's your PR person no I don't know that guy iced tea really is he's not on your team he's not he's yours no he's yours I swear he's yours I don't know this guy he's no this guy not that guy him the guy in the black shirt yeah the doctor looking guy it looks like he does look like an actress it's your guy well as an actor and an actress okay an actor in my bad ask ask him if he's your guy he's not that's he's your guy no he's right I promise you oh he is who is he right who the is friends what PR we don't need to see you're fired Franz I don't I don't even I don't even know what that is at least now he can get a career in acting I thought he was with you not with me okay he's a good looking dude yeah he's he's good looking yeah really really good I can't believe you didn't know he was with you well now that you fired him you should try to get him a job in modeling or something with the big ears oh my God he's my agent he's not with you okay he's with you okay guys you get the good looking team what's his name uh Grayson Grayson what I don't know he just takes money from me he just takes money from me I don't know anything about him is he from Earth um it looks like he's from Mars or somewhere I I'm you're just saying what I've been thinking so thank you yeah you know they've been following finding a lot of alien ships and all this stuff I do I yeah yeah who the hell would wear dark glasses in the end of daytime only an idiot will wear a freaking black who's this dude with the with the with the damn uh with the heart hat on them the dumb glasses the call is coming from inside the house is he with you too no do you not know who you employed I got three people here well four now you don't one two three four five six seven you have seven people here no yes one two three been four no you don't one two three four five six seven oh my God come here I know you come here yeah you what are you gonna say about him come here I want you to sit right here hey Carrot Top I found your son I found your son Carrot Top here he is looks like here you know keratopus no you don't know what Carrot Top is no but that guy looks sensitive are you sure you want to say a lot about him Carrot Top is The Carrot Top is it's a good positive thing okay don't worry you don't have to cry anymore you know him no I know you know her no okay but she said that after this I can go to your show with her but I just met her like five minutes ago yes 8 30. you there 8 30.

my flight's at 10. you vote your own plane two that's pretty cool how often do you fly on them every day that's probably a lot better than when where are you going though where are we going to tomorrow we're going to Houston I have to go to LA well you can drop us off first and then you could is that how that works you just like open it and I Skydive or something no I would never throw you up oh thank you actually know what if go if you want to go skydiving with me I'll do that will you can you I don't know I don't think so think about it I don't think so I think you're a little too tall I know you get 10 20 million views but if you want to get 100 million views of me and you should go Skydive okay I think they're gonna have to make a special shoot for you well it doesn't matter because if my shoe doesn't work and you're right under me we're both going down so you want me and you to go together yes why don't you go with me you realize then you'd have to get qualified to be like an instructor no what just because you get to bend rolls because you're famous oh we probably get to take the local you know they got those little similar things that you fly in so we'll just do that for about 20 hours and we'll get qualified and then this is like a whole job let's do it okay and then in exchange you're gonna let me fly your plane talle do I flew first class for the first time you did yeah it was really fun yeah it was a lot better than economy why didn't they treat you good in economy but then if you said if you you've never flown on a regular plane about 20 . yeah it's not good they're not nice back there but if you sit in the front of the plane they're nice to you and then you don't have to follow the rules either got it yeah you've been living that life though here this is a nice hotel this is I was on top of you like your room is above mine yeah what'd you think I was talking about I don't I was just asking for clarification well yeah I was this room up here it's a really large room do you use the Gemini no I don't need the gym I'm already sexy you're gonna hear my things off yeah what's my things off I don't know it can you see it if you guessed my theme song right now I give ten thousand to your favorite charity oh God this is intimidating oh my God what is happening I'm just giving a hint I I don't know what that could possibly mean I don't I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt all right too sexy for my shirt I wouldn't have got it how are you doing that is there something in there looks like when I have my breast pump on that's what it looks like for breast milk I know that is one of my friend Logan's uses a breast pump why does he use one I don't think maybe you know what I'm talking about I met Logan at a store and he was milking a cat you know you can milk a cat Who's Logan some guy that works for me you have a lot of interesting people who work for you he was milking a cat I never knew you can milk a cat but Logan does it very well and he's a and he's he even has a theme song but I'm not gonna say it I'm not going to say that song to you but it's it's a girl song okay I appreciate you not saying it then got it what's your day what's your day look like today I'm sure this guy work for me with the old with the old handsome slacks yeah take the slacks off dude put on some jeans he looks like he's from England or something yeah it does it's getting better it's getting better with my jeans he's like not though he's from like Florida or something how do you know that because he works for you he's an industry plan uh-huh yes he is no he he walked in before you got here yeah but I don't know him you do he said he's Zoom called with you before but you know so much about him because he took he came in before you no and he was talking to us no no he didn't yes he did no he did not yes he did no he yes he did okay that's you can fire him if you want but I just want you to know that he does work for you you're his biggest client he actually told me foreign okay well I guess he doesn't have a job anymore but are you leaving tonight for real yeah why because I have to get home to my kids yeah that's that's a good reason you but what's the baby's names uh I don't share their names on the internet um just tell him Uncle Shack said hello I'll tell them you can know their real names off the record yes ma'am it's Richard and concrete I understand yeah you ever watch MacGyver no I sort of seeing one town where he took curtains and he put some string to it and he made a hang glider you want to try it right now well your weight is probably better than mine okay what does it do like he took this and he took some shoestrings okay and he attached it to the curtain and he handle at it to the bottom okay have you ever gone ice skating why not well ice skate okay have you ever gone bowling yes are you good I like the ghetto Bowl though what's that when you put up the rails and then you call your shot I put the rails up too but you don't call your shot what does that mean like off the rail three-time strike oh no I don't do that is it more fun yeah especially if you play strip bowling you just do that in a regular bowling alley dude I actually saw Logan and Jeremy have a strip Ball Match when Thomas who's the floating guy just after he milks his cat he goes would you like to see his face yeah come here Logan Oh my God is Logan the cat milker [Laughter] okay I see your friend no I just met him actually okay stop lying about him I think that's illegal no I know him and I know you just met them okay well apparently the guy with the tight ass slacks worked for me but we'll have to change the dress code he probably like picked those out just for today I don't like it because you can see his butt print when he walks I don't I don't like that that it doesn't really go with yeah thank you I agree yeah yeah good thing we're firing him I know I loved you I knew I loved you from the moment I've learned about you this morning would you like to try these all sure can you see my eyes right now I see why you wear them kind of cool makes you look gorgeous sir thank you for inventing a word to describe me that's an addiction right gorgeous sir yes is better than gorgeous it's not in the dictionary it's not it's called the BPD BPD black people's dictionary okay I've never read that dictionary but I'll look into it I got another word okay finna okay I'm finna go eat after I do this podcast what are you gonna eat probably two club sandwiches fries two yeah two with extra mayo on the side on the side yeah and then you're gonna put it in now put it in put it on why wouldn't you just ask for them to do that that feels like hard work for you because they they don't know what my extra is but you don't have a chef that just does that yes I do but your extra my extra might be two different extras but your Chef should know your extra but my Chef's not here oh you didn't bring him no you can't afford to no that's why you want to play basketball again yes I hope more people come to your shows so that you can afford more Mayo on your yeah I know is it going okay for you yeah they say that uh say that I'm a pretty good dubstep DJ you know my name is no the dubstep dad did you come up with that no no I read it you read it yeah the dubstad dot dubstep dead dubstep dot dub dub step step dad okay and and you you like doing this and you make money doing it nah bro I probably lose money but that's how I started with the podcast I lost money but now I make money I know you make a lot of money I do I heard you heard from who I'm a fan of yours oh you didn't hear from the guy with the socks I don't know him okay um so people like your music I think they do I like to date they like to headband can you do that harder just gonna get a bite to bottom lip why because it's a why do they do that because it's a rough it's like the roughest form of uh EDM you you like watching people make that face at you ready go uh yeah like the teeth okay I don't want people to see me do that yes thank you I did it twice you look like a bunny not somebody a Bad Bunny no you just look like a little bunny no it feels like you're trying to look like oh wow that's what you look like we're gonna do it twice so you can't do it once I'm okay please okay you're smiling you can't smile when you hear that Ryan Brown okay you make the sound and then I'll try it smiling again stop okay I'm ready huh yeah what is it guerrilla warfare sounds scary dangerous okay I wanna know why I like that I got yeah I think you're gonna tell me anyway your hands are really really big but go ahead can I use can I use the uh sexy guy go ahead your guys I don't care you stand right here and put your face next to me and don't move no matter what I do no but look at me so this is a true story the reason do I go to in the world every Zoo when I go to the gorilla cage This Is How They approach me they look at me like that and they're probably saying to myself they're probably saying to themselves how did you get out there and we're in here see I can relate to the gorillas that's why we call the gorilla Warfare and Gorilla Marketing is you know we wanted to we wanted to you know earn our reputation from from the streets from the scenes so he's breathing on me it's pretty all right bro well yeah so that's why I named the guerrilla warfare when does it come out it's already out we're blazing the charts I don't listen to much music but I'll listen to it what does it say it's bi when I look it up when I look it up what do I search on Spotify I thought you went by something else DJ diesel okay so I don't look that up same person I have many different names one's a basketball player yeah one's a doctor and one is saf huh s-a-f a soft yes what a thought oh what do you I'm showing what saf stands for do you do that just when you're by yourself how did you even learn to do that how did you know you could do that it just happens I don't believe that that just happened it does no you're sitting there one day and you're like what's happening to my chest and it just does that and you're like it just does that on its own as a mind of its own your boob has a mind of its own boobs I don't think it's called Boop I think it's called a boob no I think it's called chest it's a boob just you have one weird boob I have one weird boob too so I I don't know anything about that okay well you can learn about breastfeeding nope yep no no it's a normal thing I don't want to go down that that line that was getting ready to say but I don't want to go there today you're going to get in trouble you can stop doing that then I'm not doing anything I know you're doing that I'm not doing it okay well what size shoe do you wear 22.

look at my foot you know what they say about men with big feet no they wear big shoes pow camera's back on you okay can you put your foot against mine oh my God it's like these like three of my feet would you like to walk on my shoes deal walk a mile in your shoes is that a song like I've heard that in a song no I think the song goes Walk Like an Egyptian I don't think we're talking about the same song yeah walk Walk This Way [Music] just talking about that song no got it you never answered if you had kids I do have six that's a lot of times 13. how many six slash fifteen like you why is there a slash between I never said that you're saying six slash 13. I never did that I said six slash 13.

no you did not play it back my mouth never moved your whole head moves six slash thirteen no it didn't move nope you said sick you said six six no six and then I start slash 13. see you can play it back you did that yes so you have sex how old are they seven maybe eight maybe not I have one your age well how old is she 26 yes yes a girl does she also have two kids no kids right not yet why because I said so okay because every time my boyfriend comes by I just go and they leave I can't imagine you being like my dad how much longer do we have as long as you want because I love you that's not true it's not as long as I want as long as you want that's not true no you're a PR person who you refuse to say is your PR person said that you have to be out of here by 2 45. I don't know him so he told me that this room till four o'clock and you need to have a hard exit at three what time is it now it's 2 39.

how long do you want I I think about four more hours would be good let's do it okay thank you I appreciate I know your time is valuable anything for your princess um I can't think of any questions right now so it's gonna have a little bit of time to think yes ma'am I'll wait I'll just rejuvenate myself 60 have you ever ridden a horse yeah you tried to kill me I can see why what type of horse did you ride it was a 22 hand Percheron it's a really big horse big horse but what I didn't know is he was a carriage horse and then when I tried to get on him he tried to Bronco Billy me did you just make the story up right now man I have footage on my phone I will get it too okay riding a carriage horse yes I will give it to our tight pants were you drunk no you just went up to a course that was holding a carriage and you're really gonna jump on it I thought he was a carriage horse and then another guy owned him and then I bought them from the guy and then you tried to write it yeah but the guy didn't tell me he was a carriage horse and you're seven feet tall yep and you tried to ride a horse and then we went on horse facts you know how to have court Carfax who went on horse facts okay tell me facts about the horse and now they have to put that it was damaged by you nope he's in Orlando eating snacks oh good that's good what are things that you wish you could do but you're too tall for skydive yeah scuba dive it's too tall to scuba dive yeah I feel like if you just stand up in the ocean you can reach the bottom no but I'm too heavy because when you scuba dive they give you weights and then when I went down I hit the button but I never came back up you're still there almost round but then my instincts kicked in then what'd you do just flail until you I just had the famous word shakamu shock what Shack move like Shamu oh and then I just did like that and I was I was you ever said tell me stories that are real what percentage of the stories you're telling me are actually real 99. 7 percent which one was not real they're all real well one was a little bit false no 99. 7 that's a A plus there's still room in there for improvement you could tell me stories I don't want to be perfect what type of car do you sit in I have a Ford F-150 and a Dodge Charger like lay down in the back seat no I have to move the seat back nine inches did you have to custom make it to do that no you just sit in it I don't like custom stuff that's for rich people yeah and you're so broke I am actually are you really I'm sorry to hear that it's okay do you need me to loan you some money no no it's nope I'm doing okay right now so I can right now I read your bio okay that wasn't true I'm not a millionaire but I can help you out actually you are you just don't want to tell people you're a millionaire actually I'm not nice move actually you are I know what you make how did you find out it's called Internet it's called it's not googleable I didn't use Google oh is there some celebrity database that you're allowed to use nobody else can it's called chat GPT and it calculated how much it thinks I make yes okay well that's false I can input this in there then you say it's false I don't think it is I don't have millions of dollars I was just offering to like buy you a meal or something I actually do have millions but I understand what you're doing you don't want people to know you're rich and you want people to think you're poor I am you're not well do you think poor do they just let you stay in this hotel for free this is a living room I don't do little rooms oh my goodness do you know what city you're in this is not little this is where are we oh let me look at the buildings you can't see the buildings when your glasses are down looks like New York are we in New York I know we were in Atlantic City is Atlantic City in New York no it's in New Jersey never heard of Atlantic City it's in New Jersey it's a beach towel okay sounds fun I went to the beach my Jeff to leave because I have my thongs on and people were taking ass shots so I had to leave if I Google a lot will it come up no no it's good we deleted all the footage why were you doing that I thought it was going to be alone and add some pink thoughts I actually have footage of me in the pink so I will actually if you have your guy look it up can you type in Shaq in the ping pong you she'll show you wear footage okay you don't believe me I I don't I don't care no you don't you look like you don't believe it was true I don't want to see it I'm going to show you the times what's her name the police are coming right now to get you for talking about this I am the police okay it's really is she just finding a random picture oh no it's not a random picture it's what I said it was here we go we'll go to images no not she typed in Shaq playing pinball no I said Shaq in the pink thong cheese how did she even get that from that check in a pink phone now I can see how she heard that it's kind of no she I never said pinball I said it kind of sounds like that no it is not pink hold on pink thong pinball no Jack in the pink thong pink because you think I'm a liar I I just don't want to see that well you want to see it because you think I'm lying to you oh I want her to look at it first here you go young lady this is the shot I told you it was what do you see there did you say it again would you like to see the video me on the beach in a pink though oh my God I'm gonna believe that here there we go camera you want to zoom in on that Mreditor matter of fact I'll let you go it is a thong well little shorts but little shorts not a thong but I look sexy though do you need me to buy you a bigger shorts no I'm just saying that looks good what's your address which one the one that I do I can go to the store right now there's a store right there and buy me what bigger shorts no I'm good I like those okay but she didn't believe I was telling the truth I did not I told you 97.

7 percent I thought this was maybe the point no seven eight nine ten three point three no okay well I strongly advise you to never do that again you know how I travel around in New York in a pink thong no I have a smart car I know you don't believe it can you type Shaq in a smart Shack in a smart car in New York this is my car it's parked downstairs we can go for a ride if you like I'm okay okay can you fit two people online no just me but again you're looking like you don't believe that story would you like her to read it would you like her to read go ahead tell her shock in a smart car oh 97. 8 it just went up anything else you want to know why did you do that because you just wanted publicity about that no you just looked at me like I was a liar and I would never lie to you because that's not the problem is I love you I would never lie to you I'm asking why you would go in a smart car because I don't that's the only thing I can afford now but I I don't like to travel like I'm big time so you're bad at saving money you didn't save any money from your entire basketball career not one dollar no one dollar you should sell something like your smart car no never getting ready like ten dollars that's her name Shelly you know my favorite interview you did you know how would I know that I'm asking do you know and I'm answering how would I know that I'm just saying guess call them out see if you're right I don't know Mark Cuban oh you're friends with him I know Mark he's a really cool guy yes he has a lot of money a lot of money you should ask him for some so you can stop driving a smart car no I don't I don't like handouts but do you know what my favorite interview I don't know can you answer that please this one haha that was really clever what are you doing are you a mime what are you doing I want you to figure it out I am boob I'm a boob I love you for that means ever and ever and ever that doesn't mean that generally because I just made it up okay well now when people go to your concerts they can go like I love you forever and ever you heard that if you go to a shock and you know they saw that first right here okay thank you I'm watching thank you thank you for coming today to do that it was um such an honor to have this conversation with you I feel like I really got to know a lot about you yeah a lot about you three times ever ever yeah so three times okay well ever ever and go four if you like I was just I was trying to get it down so when I was gonna do it gotta open the fingers and spread it okay swimming through it no no I'm not grabbing and swimming nice there there it is right there yes thank you okay well doctor what was it DrShaquille O'Neal okay DrShaquille O'Neal I'm a cop too you're not a he's not a cop can you type in detective Shaquille O'Neal please he's not a cop he's not can you just type in detectives I don't even believe you ever played basketball I don't believe anything you say I'm just I'm just trying to tell you that I respect you and love you so much I will never lie to you it actually went up it's 97. 8 percent now you just said that the last time so it didn't go up no but I said 97.