a why is fully formed by the time we're in our mid to late teens the youngest person I've done a y Discovery before was 16 and it worked the process worked and what I've learned from just doing hundreds of these over the years is that aw is always positive it's always striving for something so like we're not inspired against something we're not inspired to stop something we're inspired to build something or create something or Advance something um though it may have been born out of trauma there's usually a silver lining that gives us that [Music]
cause well my why is to inspire people to do the things that Inspire them so that each of us can change our world for the better that is the the foundation of everything that I do and and that's the test through which I run everything that I will do like does this inspire people to affect some sort of change or perspective and why does that matter to you it's not that it matters to me it's a I am it's like that's core to my being it's like your wise core to your being my wise core
to my being that's my personality it's what wakes me up every day it's what fulfills me it's what fills me as well and then I have my cause my just cause which is you know my why is where I come from my cause is where I'm going and my cause is to create a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning Inspire to go to work feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do you know that if you're going to put stress into
something that you get to enjoy the the fruits of your own labor you know building something and looking at it and say I I help build that you know that's a beautiful thing and so any work that I do is always to advance that cause so there's a bunch of things that I'm doing some of which will work and some of which will fail you know we are who we are like I said we're fully formed by the experiences we have when we're young you know at a pretty young age and now the opportunity life
presents us is to make decisions that either Keeps Us in balance with who we really are or not and I think one of the reasons most of us feel discomfort or don't feel ourselves or don't know who we are is because we're making decisions that are inconsistent with that true cause with that why so you raise the case of um individual athletes who become Champions and then suffer depression it's a fairly common story you hear this from Olympians you know Michael Phelps becomes the most meddled you know uh Olympian of all time immediately suffers depression
Andre Agassi becomes the most stor you know tennis player of all time immediately becomes depressed and what I've learned from talking to some of these um these particularly athletes but I think it happens in the business world as well which is from a very young age they set themselves a goal that in my words would be a very selfish goal I want to be the best at X the best tennis player the best golfer the best whatever and you know the way Olympians put it which I get a kick out of is I want to
win the Olympics like well no one wins the Olympics like you can be a winner in your sport you know but it's an aside but and and their entire lives from pretty young ages every decision they're making is to help them Advance this finite goal and all of their relationships are can you help me achieve my goal right and if you can no longer help me achieve my goal I don't need you anymore or as a coach or even a friend and those huge sacrifices missing of birthdays missing of Christmases you know missing of major
life uh events because I have to practice so I can achieve my goal and when they get interviewed on the news you know or at the Olympics or whatever you know why do you do it and they'll say well I'm doing it to inspire the little kids which is complete you know if you look at all of their uh vision boards from when they were younger of pictures of podiums and medals and money and Lamborghinis not a single little child on there of the people you're doing it for it's it's just a Lucky Strike extra
I mean absolutely you do Inspire children but that's not the reason you did it you just got that you know like I said it's sort of it's a twofer and and then when they achieve or don't achieve this thing and then can no longer compete for it um they've set their entire path and all their relationships on this one these finite selfish goals and so when it's complete they realize they don't really have a lot of friends around them they don't really have a lot of close relationships they don't really even have a sense of
purpose because they've been spent the past 20 years or so with one purpose which was this finite goal which now has run out and so they're very purposeless and I see this in Broadway performers who set their whole life to be on the west end or be on Broadway you know every class every tap dancing class every singing class they make it they get there and then depression or at least Mala or senior executive same thing if I just or if I just make a million dollars you know if I just become a millionaire then
I'll feel and uh and the problem with all of those things is as I said before they are selfish uh it is your goal for your reasons which um is not fulfilling for any Social Animal for any human being you know our sense of joy and fulfillment and love and purpose comes from our ability to serve another human being have a child tell me how your life changes fall in love tell me how your life changes you know think about all the stupid things irrational things we've done for love we get on planes and travel
around the RO just to say I love you you know we do ridiculous things and it all feels worth it and the sacrifices we make for a child all feel worth it but these are no longer for us and these things will live on beyond our own lives they are not finite they are infinite and there's nothing wrong with Personal Achievement there's nothing wrong with setting goals but it has to be in the context of something even bigger but the reality is is with rank you do set the tone so for example um no lying
that seems like a pretty simple one inside a company we don't tell lies okay phone rings your assistant picks up uh they put the person on hold and they call out to you uh David's on the phone and you go tell him I'm not here you you just sanctioned a lie you've just sanctioned a lie right and that little lie then now that person who was told to lie approvingly now they can tell a lie right because came from the boss and all of a sudden you find out you have an organization that tells lies
all over the place and some of those lies grow it happened to me once where um I had a very very senior phone call with the top leaders of a really big organization like and I for got I just didn't show up on the call I just I have no no excuse I just I forgot to check my calendar and I forgot and my assistant at the time of course wanted to protect my reputation and she wrote to them and said terribly sorry Simon had another meeting that ran long and I took her aside and
it was the hardest feedback I had to give because she did it with such good intention I said I'm so grateful I'm so grateful that you're protecting me and you're protecting my reput ation and I want you to do that but you have to do that without lying we cannot lie you can say I'm sorry he's late I'm sorry he missed the call but you cannot say it's because he was in another meeting cuz that's not true now you don't have to be mean there's nothing that says truth has to be brutal it just has
to be true try for the next 48 hours and see how hard it is not to tell a single LIE there's way of doing it right like so um do these gen make me look fat I like the other jeans much better they're way more flattering right you don't have to hurt people also timing right so a true story so I went to see a friend's play and uh I I could not wait for this thing to end it was so bad and I went out you know to say hi to her after the performance
and she came out she was still in costume and makeup and she knows I'm an honest broker she cares about what I she knows I'll always tell her the truth in these kinds of things and she says to me what did you think now now is not the time and place she's pumped up full of adrenaline and now is not the time for me to give her a critical evaluation of of this gutful performance and so I sidest stepped the question but said something true I said ah it was such a treat to be here
to see you do your thing you know I've been wanting to see you on the stage forever and it was so much fun to see you on the stage all of that was true the next day when the adrenaline had come down and I called her up and said can I tell you what I thought about the play she goes yeah of course and I told her critically piece by piece what I thought about it and how bad it was we had a perfectly rational conversation about it didn't hurt her feelings the day before it
would have really hurt her feelings so not everything has to be we mistake being with being honest now at some point you have to give somebody else feedback like self assessment is a thing but it's not the only thing it's a thing it's a data point and I'm a huge believer in self assessment but you have to have that butress with the assessments of others because we are blind very often we're social animals we cannot do this thing called Career or life alone we're just not that smart we're not that strong we're not that aware
we're just not that good as social animals we actually need each other to watch our backs and tell us what's working and what's not working you know we we don't build trust by offering help we build trust by asking for it because it's a vulnerable thing to ask for help will you help me is a very very vulnerable statement can I help you not so much an act of service but the act of service really comes from allowing somebody else to serve you and to deny someone else the intensity and joy of being there for
someone else again I think a selfish never asking for help is selfish asking for help is a great Act of service cuz you allow someone else else to have the joy of sacrifice and it goes backwards and forwards it's not one-sided
