thank you for watching thanks to all of you here in our studio for elements to be here tonight wow it's on a rare rainy day in Southern California this is one of those days when everyone who works here at our office shows up dress like the killer in I Know What You Did Last Summer and it's like and you know who we can thank for the rain president Trump he finally turned the sprinklers on and we're enjoying we have a very very we have a very crazy person running our country right now like like standing
in the intersection loudly talking to himself crazy yesterday Trump held a doozy of a press conference with the Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu where he surprised everyone including the people who work for him I think by unveiling this plan for Gaza which is to relocate everyone who lives there permanently he would remove the almost 2 million Palestinians who live there and build a really cool real estate development that we would own and I guess sell to others this is really what he wants to do it's like our country is being run by the maniac from
saw you know Donald jigsaw Trump is running this and of course the big question one of the big questions besides are you out of your damn mind is if you pull all the Palestinians out of Palestine who would then live there just should follow up on what you were saying about the gazans leaving Gaza going to other countries one where exactly are you suggesting that they should go and two are you saying they should return after it's rebuilt and if not who do you envision living there I Envision world people living there the world's people
the world's people maybe the Village People I don't know you can see he's really thought this through every idea is worse than the last idea he seems to believe that the reason there's conflict in Gaza is because no one thought to give them a pickle ball court every no matter what the crisis may be everything always comes back to real estate with him we have an opportunity to do something that could be phenomenal and I don't want to be cute I don't want to be a wise guy but the Riviera of the Middle East this
could be something that could be so bad this could be so magnificent I can see the brochures now the Riviera of the Middle East Trump didn't even have success with the Atlantic City of New Jersey never mind the Riviera of the Middle East we could make it the Vegas of Somalia and everyone will love it this plan to develop and repopulate Gaza it's never going to happen the leaders of Egypt Saudi Arabia Qatar Jordan Turkey France Germany Spain the UK have all forcefully rejected it the only thing the United Nations and the Taliban have in
common is they both think this is a terrible idea but Trump said he spoke to the leaders and everybody loves it all this was apparently news to Trump's new secretary of State Marco Rubio I guess isn't in the loop because he reportedly first learned about it when Trump announced it on TV and this is good look at the reaction from his chief of staff Susie WS who is usually so un flappable Trump calls her the ice Maiden that's his nickname now that what you're seeing is that is the face of a woman whose Soul just
exited her body at the speed of Life speaker of the house and human squirrel Mike Johnson said Trump's little project in Gaza is quote a bold move and majority whip Tom emmer used it to make the claim that Democrats are anti-semitic the far left's continued Embrace of vicious attacks against the Jewish Community has shown their true colors there is no denying that today's Democrat Party is the pro-terrorist anti-semitic party is that the guy the guy who said the Jews are responsible for all the wars I don't know In fairness he's only anti-semitic when he's drunk
but here's the thing everyone around Trump knows this stupid idea just popped out of his head but it's not like he did he didn't warn us say what you will Trump is delivering exactly what he promised he would deliver when he started this campaign he even put it all in an ad hello everyone it's time to take this country back from Sleepy Joe and make America great again first we're going to build a big beautiful beachfront Resort on the ancestral homeland of of the Palestinian people who will be sent far far away next we're going
to get tough on Denmark soon Maga will stand for make a Greenland America I also promise to start a nasty unprovoked trade war with our friendliest neighbors Canada and will'll immediately sign an executive order to raise the price of prescription drugs Kamala wouldn't do that I also promised to dump two billion gallons of beautiful California Reservoir water into the ground for no reason at all and if elected I will immediately put a blackout drunk in charge of our military and give this guy good guy Rich your social security numbers and the keys to all the
computers to do whatever the hell he watchs only I Donald J Trump will put a brainworm in charge of your body rename the Gulf of America and fire half the FBI and CIA but I need your support this November vote for the only candidate strong enough to everything up Donald J Trump give me your money thank you well you're welcome Thomas's name Thomas's at the White House today our president signed what he is calling the no men in women's sports executive order he made a big show of it he brought in a bunch of kids
a bunch of girls who play sports to Bear witness as he signed this important historical document pretty good huh I see man okay good now you're got to go out and win those events right nice to see you all none of you girls have uh wieners do you Shing we uh you know we still can't get background checks for people who want to buy gun machine guns but um somehow if they find nuts in your Speedo it's punishable by law this is interesting there's a man in Indiana who decided to demonstrate how nonsensical our gun
laws are by getting himself a license to carry a handgun which he was able to do with no problem even though he cannot see this is how Terry southernland navigates the world with his seeing eyes stick it's what he used when he came to this office in the city county building to get fingerprinted for his concealed carry permit it just went very smoothly and normally and nobody seemed to think anything about it if I can have a gun why can't I have a driver's license what's what's the worst that could happen I could kill somebody
how does a blind man get a gun I have no idea wow well we'll tell you how Starbucks and Applebees are helping you get in the mood for tell us more about Starbucks and Applebees won't you we uh we got a top quality show for you tonight the great bernardet Peters is here with us also making her late night television debut Victoria canal and we are hash blessed to have a visit from Oscar nominee Ariana Grande tonight not only is Ariana here to chat she has agreed to wing it and sing it with us tonight
how are you great to you here we're excited that you're here I'm so excited to be here all know Ariana is a multiple Grammy Award winner obviously she knows how to sing but your test tonight if you choose to accept it I've chosen is yes to sing a song you've never seen the lyrics or heard any of the music before no it's too late I can't turn back that's right it's time to wing it and sing it with Mariana so Ariana step right over there and we've got our keyboard player Jeff here to help us
out now we written we've written lyrics and the lyrics are on these cards right here and I'm wetting my hand so I can turn them you've not seen these I have not seen them you're going in blind here absolutely blind okay very good all right are you ready Jeff okay all right here we go the vibe I'll just follow this Vibe yes follow that man but look at these lyrics Ariana here they go okay I'm coming oh okay I am a strong successful woman always stands up tall even though I am in fact uh oh
oh God so very very small they say is short and it turns out I am too I R baby carrot I'm a lady Pikachu I'm a little I am a tiny I'm the perfect bit snack 10 of me stacked up only equals one of Shack I am an OA I am am a l I'm a piz mini me it's going still it's long as when I'm in an elevator oh I can't reach the number three I the same dimensions as a newborn cockatail I can run a marathon inside a hamster wheel I can ride a
roller coaster for a bed I use a sock holy I fell into a toaster I am the bird on the co clock wow that was very sympatic and yes my name is Grande it's ironic that I'm small people ask me where is your mom when walking through the mall she's here somewhere mom but I don't let it me you'll never see me cuz I'm Defying Gravity and you can't pull me down this one has a little bit of a theme here oh this is a them okay you're familiar with the Small World ride so oh
wait no no a chair thank you there's so much that we share you so much G when I climb on a chair big finish it's a world after thank you beautifully done oh what a fun we have tonight M Peter Victoria canal and we'll be right back with Ariana Grande GMO do you know how many subscribers we have on YouTube now uh 20 million that's right yeah that's why we're wearing these glasses thanks for being a subscriber if you're not help us get to 20 million and one
