Mother Lost Custody Of My 3 Sisters After Her BF Hurt Them, Then Five Years Later She Wanted To...

Mother lost custody of my three sisters after her BF hurt them. Then 5 years later she wanted to get them back but blamed me for turning everyone against her. Hello all.

I 23F am in sort of a pickle and currently my majority of my family is against me. My mother 41F has six kids altogether. Myself, my sisters F-22, F19, F17, F-16 and my brother M23.

Growing up was sort of HLL for all of us. My mother never had a good track record of picking good men and a lot of times me and my siblings would witness her boyfriends beat her or berate her. Her second boyfriend would often hit us when me and my siblings were younger as well.

It's a whole lot more, but then this post would be very long. However, about 5 years ago, my mother lost custody of my three younger sisters. There was some sexual abuse going on with my mother's most recent ex-boyfriend.

We didn't want our sisters in foster care. So, me and my brother begged our grandmother to take them in until me and my brother could come up with a plan or take custody of them. Drmatic, I know, but it's always just been me and siblings against the world in my eyes.

My grandmother, the saint she is, took my sisters and told me and my older brother not to worry about getting custody of them because we should be focusing on our lives in college. While me and my brother were hesitant at first, we decided to head off to college to kind of build up some status, I should say. I dropped out of college because I couldn't afford to keep up with the cost and get my tuition down below a certain cost.

However, my brother graduated last year. Smile. My sisters have been happy with living with my grandmother and my grandmother loves having them around.

She says she gets to see her grandb babies every day and it's a blessing. They are comfortable living with her and my grandmother has no change of still caring for them. But back on course with my mom when she lost custody, me and all my siblings with no contact with her, including my grandmother.

Around two months ago, my mother sent me an email explaining that she would like to get back in contact with us and do family therapy. At first, I didn't say anything to my siblings because in a sense, I felt like I was protecting them. However, she sent me a second email the following month after explaining that she broke up with her boyfriend and she really missed us.

She wanted to do family therapy because she had a lot of pain built up and she knew that we probably did as well. I talked with my grandmother about it and she told me that I should ask my siblings if they wanted to and have it be their choice. I spoke with my siblings about it and the youngest were on board because they did miss our mom.

However, myself and my other siblings were hesitant. But for the sake of my younger siblings, I responded to her and we set up a time to meet up. About 3 weeks ago, we met up at a restaurant and my mother looked exhausted but eager to see us.

I declined a hug because I wasn't comfortable with it and my mother looked pissed. My mom got caught up with all of us and she asked during our lunch if my younger siblings would consider coming back home and are getting custody back. My younger siblings said they weren't sure and I could tell they looked uncomfortable.

I tried to change the subject, but my mom wrapped it back around. She started mentioning on how we all could be a family again now that we're older and she can rebuild what was broken. The rest of the meeting became a blur for me because I honestly checked out.

A lot of buried emotions were coming up and I shut down. After the meeting, I got an email from my mom later that night that she was really upset that I didn't hug her or say goodbye to her when we left. She said it was giving a bad impression to my younger siblings and they would probably start mistreating her as well.

I'm not going to lie, that email filled me with anger because she had a lot of audacity. I didn't respond and I got another email from her, but it was a confirmation for our first family therapy session. We had it yesterday.

We did the usual first introductory process and getting familiarized. Later during the session, my mom was going on and on of how she did everything she could to protect us and etc. the silence from me and my siblings were pretty loud and our counselor/ therapist asked how we felt about that.

My other siblings didn't speak. I wasn't planning on speaking either, but then what my mom said just made me snap. She told our therapist that I told them not to say anything because I wanted to turn my siblings against her and she scheduled this session to help us and not split us apart.

After that, I just went off. I started screaming that she wasn't a good mother and she did nothing to protect us. She constantly vented to me about her relationships or her problems.

This lead me to internalize a lot of her issues as my own or my stressors. She never protected my brother when her boyfriends would beat on him when he tried to protect either her or my sisters. She never even thought of reporting her ex when my sisters first came to her about the abuse they experienced at his hands.

I went off on a lot of other things, but at this point, she was balling, and so were my siblings. I told my therapist that if anyone was splitting the family up, it was her with her stupidity, ignorance, and just flatout neglect. I was breathing hard after the incident, and after thinking about it, I'm not happy at all.

I blew up like that. My therapist decided we should take a break, but I told them I was just done. I was not going to sit here and listen to her trying to blame me for her actions or her problems.

The session ended quickly after that and later on in the night my phone started blowing up with calls and texts from my mother's side of the family. They started berating me and saying that I was horrible person for hurting my mother like that and making her feel horrible. They were on a tangent on how she was trying to turn a new leaf and actually work at rebuilding a relationships with us.

After all the calls and text, I've been feeling like a SHD person for saying that to my mom. So honestly, Ada update. Hey all, update for those who wanted it.

Also, heavy abuse TWW because I will get emotional and vent a bit later on in this update. If you are a childhood abuse survivor, I wouldn't recommend reading past this since it could possibly be triggering. My siblings and I have decided to go NC with our mother for good.

It was a hard conversation this morning and I felt like ah again. I felt like my outburst persuaded them to make that decision so I wouldn't be upset with them. Yet, they reassured me throughout the whole conversation that they didn't like that she didn't even apologize, even when she had the opportunity to.

My siblings and I are still struggling with the fact that she won't change and she probably never will. The driving force for it was the email that I got from mother at 4:00 a. m.

today. I copied and pasted it here. Dear Guju, my nickname when I was younger, I am truly hurt and devastated that you went public with a private matter.

Your auntie May showed me your Reddit post and yet you continue to try to villainize me. I was going to explain myself further in therapy, but I'm in a new relationship now with a very loving man. He was the main one who encouraged me to extend olive branch with you all.

I was going to surprise you and your siblings in therapy. However, you ruined it. I stayed my distance from you all because after losing your sisters, it made me realize I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror anymore.

It made me realize how much of a worthless piece of I was. You calling me a worthless of a mother was uncalled for. In those relationships, I couldn't just simply walk away.

Where would I have gone? What about you guys? Do you not think it ate me up inside every time you guys cried?

Every time I did try to protect you guys just to get the beat out of me. Being knocked out cold and not knowing if you guys were safe or not. Did any of that not matter to you?

I'm trying to redeem myself while also being a victim. And you simply can't get your own head out of your ass. You and complain about your pain not realizing I was a victim, too.

Guju, we all were. I hate to sound harsh, but you're an adult and can hear these things now. I tried my damn hardest to protect you all.

For you to on all my effort in your rant and call me almost every name in the book in front of our therapist, your siblings, and the blatantly visible disrespect to me. All of it truly uncalled for. I will not have contact with you until you apologize to me for what you said.

You broke my heart, Guju, but mama still loves you. And me going no contact with you is to show that you can't just hurt someone because you yourself are hurting. I will be over to see your sisters later at my mom's place to talk one-on-one with them.

I will appreciate it if you are there to apologize, but if you will not, then I highly ask that you not be there. The email really crushed me a lot. I completely understand that she was a victim as well.

Like I also mentioned to a kind Redditor that messaged me last night, she did provide what she could. Yet, there were many moments we either went hungry or without some necessities, SP. One of my most embarrassing moments was asking strangers on the street for money.

so me and my sisters could get pads and tampons. My mom's third boyfriend threw ours out because he didn't believe in periods. That whole ordeal, among others, were so damn humiliating.

I got a mixture of anger and sadness when she said she tried her hardest to protect us. Where was the determination when her boyfriends would beat the hell out of me and my older brother because we didn't want them either alone with our sisters or touching our younger sisters? Where was she when she heard me getting SA in the room right next to her and heard me screaming for her?

It's just an overwhelming sorrow because in her eyes, she did her best. But in my eyes, she did absolutely nothing and I told her as such and then summon our session. Like many of you pointed out, she may have been a victim, but she did nothing to protect us.

I have to sit with that for the rest of my life. My siblings have to deal with that for the rest of their lives. I have to work through all the damage she caused while she gets to play hero and have her redemption arc.

I'm done with her and I'm happy to know the feeling is mutual according to her. She did call my grandmother this morning during breakfast and demanded that she let her see her kids. My grandmother told her that she could try, but she wasn't coming past the gate unless my sisters wanted her to.

My grandmother put her phone on speaker and asked my sisters if they wanted to see her. My youngest sister actually responded this time and said no and not for a very long time at the minimum. My mom tried to scream at my grandmother, but I could hear her voice cracking from trying not to cry on the phone.

My grandmother told her she could go f herself and don't call her again. After that is when the conversation about no contact got put into overdrive. My siblings have their own memories of her to account for.

They aren't comfortable with me sharing them. So, I really just shared mine and a bit of my brothers. It's just all so surreal to me.

I thought that maybe she was actually okay with being alone, but here she is not being truthful of when she broke up with her most recent ex. I didn't ask because I don't even care anymore. yet she's already in a new relationship.

It's a hard thing to grasp that my mother just can't be alone. I even feel disgusting calling her my mother because it stings to know that she never really was a mother. Not to me or my siblings.

For my family that has been messaging me, I just block them on every social media platform. They stopped trying to call me since I set up my phone with an app to reject all calls from unknown numbers that aren't my contacts. As for my mom, I copied and posted my response here.

Victoria, since you are no longer my mother, I have no need for formality. You make me absolutely sick to my stomach. You know of the pain you caused me and my siblings.

You know you didn't do You know that you never even had a grain of a maternal instinct. If you did, you never would have allowed us to get hurt. I know you can't sleep at night with those thoughts running around in your head.

I hope for the rest of the life it eats you up inside. Your new boy toy will be the only thing by your side when you frail and almost dust. I'm done allowing you to hurt not only me but my brother and sister as well.

You have no right to try to prance your happy fake ass into our lives now that you see we are doing well without you. It hurts, doesn't it? To know that even through all the we are 10 times the better person you could ever imagine in your twisted little head.

You don't have to worry about me contacting you. I will have nothing to do with you. Even after your death, I will have no connection and hopefully no memories of you.

You may still be alive and breathing, but to me, you are a shallow corpse of a stranger, and I intend to keep it that way. You live in a fantasy world, and I hope on your deathbed you have such a crippling feeling of regret that you croak on the spot. Don't ever contact me or my siblings again.

My brother wants you to know he'll spit on your grave if he ever finds out you died. So, sleep well with it, you I'm not too proud of my response, but at this point, she is dead to me. She should have been a long time ago, but it felt so good to get that pain from the most internal part of my chest.

I'm pretty sure she won't put up a fight, seeing as my words hurt her so much. If she does, and her antics are crazy enough, I'll update again. However, for now, I'm taking a well-deserved break, and I'm signing myself up fought therapy.

I realize I have a lot of anger and resentment built up that I need to work through correctly and positively. Thank you guys for the support and the kind messages. I will be posting some of them on a vision board to help through my therapy.

Thank you, Reddit so much for being here in a time of need for a stranger. Love you all less than three. Next story.

BF dumped me after I supported him through college and depression. Said I wasn't wife material, then showed up months later begging me back after the woman he left me for rejected him. I was with my ex who I will call Nate because if I'm being honest, minus betraying a friend.

I was a Cassie. I don't want to go to much into the details, but for the last 9 years, I lost myself to Nate. He was my world.

Everything I did was for him. I helped him though depression helped get slash keep his grades up even work two jobs so he could focus on collage when his parents disowned him for nearly three years because they didn't agree with the major or collage he choose bear in mind I was also a collage student when his parents started talking to him again and started to financial support him we moved into a new apartment Nate said he wanted me to quit my job I didn't because it was his turn to take care of me for 16 months everything was great he spoiled me then I noticed he was more interested in his new friends at times he ignored me completely back in December he did a 180 and he loved bombed me the whole month. He really went out of his way to make Christmas magical for me.

I honestly believed he was going to propose on January the 2nd. He made me my favorite dinner and made this speech about me being his first love. How I've been there since high school, I kept thinking any minute now he's going to ask me to marry him.

But no, he dumped me as his speech went on my world fell apart. And as much he tried to sugarcoat it. He basically said you were a good girlfriend, but that's what you always be to me, a girlfriend.

I don't see you as my wife or the mother of my children. Blah blah. You served your purpose.

Now I don't need you anymore. Blah blah. I need someone on my level.

blah blah, you're a gold digger. Blah, I'll give you 30 days to move out. I couldn't speak and he stared at me looking for a response.

I think this lasted 20 minutes before he said he'd sleep in the guest room, then left. Strangely, I didn't cry or get angry. I just ordered cardboard boxes online, then went to bed.

The next day, I waited for him to leave the apartment before I left my room. Then, I called my boss, asked, begged, "Really? If I could transfer anywhere, she told me there wasn't anything, but if something came up in my department, she'd consider me.

" I then reached out to everyone I knew that wasn't also Nate's friend for a place to stay. My cousin invited me to stay in her spare room for as long as I needed and I could move in straight away. So, that was amazing.

In the 4 days it took me to pack my stuff and move out, I didn't see or speak to Nate. I doubt he even noticed I didn't trust myself at the time to ignore au text. So, I blocked him and everyone close to him even changed me number/ email to make sure he couldn't reach me.

The first night at my cousins was the night everything hit me. I think I cried every night the first month. I honestly felt like I thought about what Nate said over and over again.

It made me feel so low, like I was nothing. He only stayed with me because I was just there. But thankfully, my cousin sent for my mom, other cousins, and real friends to give me an intervention, which I badly needed.

I believe that first month, I wouldn't have made it without my cousin, I'm still healing and waiting on that job transfer because I feel like if I'm not in the same city as Nate, and I have a place of my own, the fresh start would do me the world of good. I thought by now I'd be a distant memory for Nate, but shockingly, he sent flowers to my job today for my birthday, which was on Sunday. Apparently, he went to my parents house looking for me, too.

And my mom admitted he's been before dropping off stuff and tried to ask questions about me, but they told him to off. The flowers came with a card saying, "Dear Cassie, happy belated birthday. I've been thinking about you for non-stop for the last few months, especially with how everything ended.

I need to get something off my chest that I feel will haunt me for the rest of my life if I don't tell you this to your face. But I have no way of contacting you if it's possible. Can we meet up in the near future, Nate?

" What could he want? What's haunting him? He needs to say to my face.

Everyone in my life is telling me ignore him, but they hate him. I'm torn, but I can't lie. My curiosity is telling me meet him to see what he wants.

Has anyone been in my shoes or in natives? Mini update. He came to my work today looking for me during lunchtime.

I told the receptionist say I was out and caught a ride home with a co-orker so I wouldn't met him if he planned to run into me by accident. Update: So, we ended up meeting and no, I didn't go to him. I had told the receptionist at my work if he came looking for just say I'm out for the day after he showed up once.

I didn't want the drama of him around my job. So Nate just kept going to my usual places like the grocery store I go every Saturday evening or the park I ran at Sunday mornings his words till he would eventually run into me and he did yesterday he was waiting at the coffee shop I go to after my morning run when I saw him I tried to do turn around and leave but he kept calling me so I thought to myself if everything went pear-shaped a coffee shop would be safer than my walk home so I just sat down and asked him what he wanted he gave an apology that wasn't an apology you know the type with I'm sorry but in pity me he blamed his mental health his job his parents his friends everyone everyone but himself. I took someone's advice on here and said, "Cut the crap.

I already know everything. " He genuinely looked shocked and stared at me for a second. I guess he thought his coworker already told me everything, so he couldn't lie.

Here is what really happened. He fell for a girl in his office. When he told me her name, I knew her immediately.

I've met her a few times. He told for the last 2 years he idolized her. To be fair, she's beautiful with an amazing personality.

And he hated me because I was the one stopping them from being together because his coworker was too classy to be a side piece. When he broke up with me, he confessed to her that he was madly in love with her. And he ended a 9-year relationship to be with her.

Well, here's where it gets funny. She doesn't even like him. Lol.

She called him a piece of trash and told him if he ever spoke to her outside work, she'd report him to HR. So, I asked him, "What has any of this got to do with me? Like, we are over.

I clearly cut ties. There's no reason for us to speak. He wants to try again.

Promised we'd get married before the year ends that we belong together. " I told him, "No, I'm nobody's second choice. He threw me away after 9 years and said some pretty cruel things to me.

and now he thinks if he snaps his fingers I'll come running back. He tried to beg and fake tears bringing the good times in our relationship. I told him please leave me alone as he wasted too much of my time already.

I texted my cousin to meet me at the coffee shop. He kept saying nonsense. Even suggested if I went to couple's counseling for a few months he'd leave me alone.

The 20 minutes it took for my cousin to arrive felt like 20 years in the end. I just stopped listening and stood at the counter making small talk with baristas till my cousin arrived. She told him to off and if he tried to follow us, she'd call her brothers.

He stayed in the coffee shop as far as I know and we just went home. That's it. It's only been a day, but I feel like it's over and I'm free of him.