Games I Would Make (If I Knew How)

hey viewer you want to see a magic trick from this screen of green i would pull it are you kidding me i i i forgot i was green magic trick all right [Applause] i like playing video games but it's a lot harder to make them you see this green screen i'm using it because of budget constraints this wall i'm on crunch time and couldn't texture it this frame rate that's no aesthetic that's convenience these are just a few of the technical challenges game developers regularly deal with on top of actually you know making the freaking

game to begin with funk that the truth is i like my cushy job of telling you to play someone else's game without extending myself beyond a little visual eye candy in the occasional six syllable adjective circle lock circumnavi circ circumloc utori in fact that title you read was actually a lie the video was called games i would make if i knew how and they were easy to make and it was profitable and i actually wanted to make games in the first place in avatar there's this sport called pro bending the goal is to push your

opponents back off their side of the arena using whatever element you're genetically predisposed to bending think dodgeball but the game only ends once you're knocked off stage in a string of many bad decisions nickelodeon never made an online pro bending game that's why i'm stealing the idea move sets look like this you've got a basic shot a curved shot a quick fire a high jump a down dash you've got a temporary wall with two orientations horizontal dashes and of course a recovery move the general feel of movement would resemble the source engine because i figure

if the two best video games already invented the wheel once there's not much point in making myself an octagon coming up with ideas is fun up until the point some really annoying questions start popping up how do elements differ from each other are there multiple game modes is this ricochet this sounds like ricochet no it's not ricochet shut up i'd like to think each element would fill a different niche earth would be defensive and slower but hard-hitting water would be rapid fire and well-rounded fire would be high damage and great for targeting air would be

low damage but high mobility and knockback in tf2 dodgeball there's this mechanic called spiking the rocket i'd love to give curve shots this quirk where different angles have different effects i've written a document about this stuff but still have no experience with the harder technical questions of development how does one design a server infrastructure or an anti-cheat or balance around team size my knowledge of back-end development is whatever blueprints for while running i can find on youtube if i'm lucky it will actually work after i copy it one game mode i think would be cool

is a three lane control point map where you're trying to cap your side while denying the enemies theirs one lane is a central point where you do get out final destination style moba smash bros source games if you think this sounds like a metaphorical soy sauce birthday cake you'd be right but it's my birthday my favorite cherry rpgs never let you autopilot on combat you know i'll start saga paper mario rpg gotta time your button presses to the attacks chrono trigger it's got this whole directionality thing going on some attacks are only effective if enemies

are in a line or clumped up undertale yeah i [ __ ] said it it's a bullet hell inside of a jrpg it's inherently interactive this got me wondering why there's no video games about improving melodies over the soundtrack this leads to my next idea welcome to the dev commentary of this theoretical idea the live commentaries are back everybody so um you're playing the instruments in real time this ain't no guitar hero it's full 88 keys there's no way latency would [ __ ] this idea so far sideways it's technologically impossible i figure every gamer

is a musician right [Music] they're pretty good at the keys i hear the keys gamers the way performance is calculated is pretty interesting root notes attention and release one five six four the real question is how the hell do you play a scale on one of these the answer is throw out your controller and pick up my trademarked accordicon i'm telling you this thing's gonna revolutionize gaming the same way drinking revolutionized my scriptwriting or i guess you could use an electric keyboard with usb adapter and an audio interface to minimize latency of course and three

to six months of music practice just so you understand the fundamentals it's not exactly an accessible market but neither were seat belts before 1968. i'm telling you this idea will take off if you give me a chance each party member plays a chosen instrument maybe that's a jazz quartet maybe that's weezer whatever you want gameplay ranges from completing unfinished music to writing entirely self-made tracks i can't tell if this is a groundbreaking concept or the bridesmaid of steam indies always a wish list never a purchase either way i can't be the only person who needs

to palmerize music into video games as an excuse to practice when one of you inevitably steals this idea do me a favor make sure you spell my name right in the credits since the dawn of time nothing has yielded more hype and camaraderie than the video game crossovers smash bros marvel vs capcom that one dude that's probably still playing crosstag these are all star rosters made up of nothing but back to back legends and also my hero academia fighting games are notorious for these lineups and it kills me that the closest fps equivalent we currently

have is quake champions what the hell now don't read me wrong i can always boot up mugen if i want a few quick rounds of heavy weapons guy but if i could i would make an arena shooter with an all-star cast of first-person protagonists here's the ideal roster for that kind of game slot number one doom guy duh it's an all-star roster this is for the biggest names in gaming history slot number two ellis from left 4 dead 2. slot 3 jack cooper he's fun as hell but 5 months after you start maining him he'll

become unplayable and the devs will never fix it slot 4 minecraft quake boomers will complain he got in over ranger without realizing 90 of the player bases zoomer steve mains speaking of which check out this new movement tech it's called sync jumping slot 5 i gotta give to tracer from overwatch she'll never actually be playable but whenever the devs get into a pr controversy they'll drop a trailer with no release date for one of her new skins slot 6 samus erin this joke is now outdated 7-16 the entire cast of team fortress 2 even the

sentry buster booker dewitt cry about it we've got to have a definitive half-life rep here so i decided to go with gus the forklift driver we got v1 postal dude turok people like turok right then you get to the fighters pass where the fan favorites show up you know like odd job dovahkiin this one shouldn't be too hard to get i feel like todd would beg for it this is a big one here the toilet nader also duke nukem popular in losers brackets close to the end here i'm gonna have to make this one count

uh i'm thinking marth and then the final roster slot of this game number 27. this concludes my list of video game ideas i hope you didn't like them because you'll probably never get to play them as a bonus here's some games i think other people should make a medieval skateboarding rpg called the skateboard the knuckle stages of sonic adventure 2 but that's it that's the whole game more asymmetric multiplayers i really like these games where one player is stupidly overpowered and everyone else has to team up to kill them let's see what else a metal

gear rising too i would just give it a sequel already uh outro simulator [Music] wait i didn't think that through it's not all right [ __ ] it [Music] oh my god i forgot i thought the underscore basically jesus pp got starter pack ray and bowers there's a lot of these thank you patrons the patrons thank you [Music]