Dad Humiliated My Mom for Being 'Boring', So She Tried Sleeping With My Fiancé Just to Prove She Was

dad humiliated my mom for being boring so she tried sleeping with my fiance just to prove she was still desirable and got obsessed with him me and my fiance we'll call Harold have been together for 3 years we got engaged 6 months ago so to explain this properly I need to back up my parents split up when I was 14 my dad cheated a lot i'm not justifying it but the way their marriage functioned near the end it was like watching two people silently die under the same roof my mom checked out emotionally she was always tired always distracted always quiet my dad was the opposite he was very loud cruel attention-seeking he used to mock her at the dinner table call her boring plain say she was just a body taking up space i remember how she'd just sit there all those times while he flirted with whatever woman was at the party that night after the divorce they both spiraled my dad remarried fast less than a year his new wife is maybe 5 years older than me my mom on the other hand had what looked like a complete identity crisis she chopped off all her hair dyed it platinum blonde bought a motorcycle off Facebook Marketplace yes really and started dating these random guys she met on apps mostly younger all of them flashy or unstable or both she went from quiet and defeated to loud and dramatic in the span of a few months at first I thought she was just trying to find herself i honestly felt bad for her she didn't have friends she lost touch with her family after the divorce because she was too embarrassed she tried to cling to me for a while but I was a teenager who had just watched her home blow up i didn't have anything to give but over time I realized she wasn't finding herself she was chasing a version of herself that only existed in her head she wanted to prove something that she was still desirable that she still had it that she wasn't the dull wife my dad mocked that she was fun exciting sexy and she used men to try and prove it i've had to keep her at arms length for a while because of that she's unpredictable always turning situations into some kind of emotional meltdown so when she asked if she could come visit for a week to help with wedding stuff I wasn't sure she kept saying she wanted to be involved she missed too many milestones she didn't want to be excluded i went back and forth about it but in the end I agreed i figured I could handle a few days the first couple were okay we went dress shopping she complimented me she even cried a little when I tried one on and I thought "Okay maybe this is finally going to be a normal healthy moment between us then she started getting weird. " She kept finding reasons to be around Harold not just casual hanging out i'm talking hovering sitting way too close on the couch leaning over his shoulder while he scrolled through his phone laughing at things that weren't even funny she started making little comments about how hot he was about how lucky I was that someone like him wanted a plain girl like me at first I just ignored it it felt gross but she's always said inappropriate stuff to get attention i told myself I was overthinking it then I noticed what she was wearing in the mornings silk robes barely tied lingerie tops she'd strut into the kitchen like we were all living in a bad movie flipping her hair while Harold tried to make coffee and pretend he didn't see anything that was showing through her top i pulled her aside and told her it was weird and inappropriate she laughed in my face said I was jealous i should have told her to leave right then but I didn't i kept making excuses told myself she was just being annoying not dangerous that was my mistake yesterday I came home from work early one of my clients canled i didn't tell anyone I was coming back i just wanted to lie down and maybe take a nap i walked in and everything was quiet too quiet when I got to the living room I saw them on the couch sitting together too close she was in this dress I know she only wears when she's trying to impress someone short tight low cut harold looked completely frozen his hands were in his lap like he didn't know what to do with them she jumped up when she saw me smiled like nothing was wrong said they were just chatting i didn't say anything i just stared at her until she left the room that's when Harold told me she tried to kiss him leaned in touched his face said he deserved someone who'd actually take care of him i felt like I'd been kicked in the chest i went into her room and confronted her she didn't deny it in fact she looked amused said "I blew things out of proportion then blamed Harold for looking at her a certain way. " She said she got confused like she accidentally tried to seduce my fianceé i told her to pack her things and get out she acted offended but she left that should be the end of it but I know her she doesn't let things go especially not when she feels rejected or embarrassed and judging by the way she looked at Harold as she walked out the door she's going to be a headache to deal with update one so I underestimated how far she'd go and honestly I feel stupid for thinking it would just end with her leaving my house after I kicked her out I blocked her i didn't want to deal with the fake apologies or the guilt tripping she usually sends after she crosses a line but she found a way around that she started sending texts from a different number with the same exact energy just worse this time it was all about how I was hoarding Harold from her how I was pushing her out of my life when all she wanted was to feel close to someone again she didn't even pretend like the kiss didn't happen she just reframed it she said she got caught up in a moment that she just wanted to feel something again and that I should try to understand what it's like to be invisible for years i didn't respond then Harold came to me and showed me his phone she had texted him too same number same vibe just worded to make herself sound like the victim at first it was just sad little paragraphs about how she felt misunderstood how no one listened to her how she just needed someone who didn't judge her for having feelings then she sent a photo not a ND but close enough she was in a lacy bra biting her lip clearly trying to pose sexy the background looked like a hotel i don't even want to know if she booked a room hoping he'd show up harold blocked the number immediately he didn't entertain any of it he just handed me his phone and said "I think you need to see this.

" I felt sick not because I thought he'd do anything but because I realized she was serious like not just desperate attention seeking something darker i ended up calling my aunt her sister i didn't want to drag more family into it but I didn't know what else to do i needed someone else to see how bad this was getting someone who knew her and could maybe give some context i didn't expect what I got apparently this isn't new my aunt wasn't surprised at all she said "A few years ago my mom was banned from her yoga studio after she got involved with the instructor a married man she tried to say it was mutual but the instructor's wife came in and caused a scene and the studio kicked her out then there was the wine tasting incident where she got drunk and tried to kiss one of her friends husbands that one ended in screaming and broken glasses i didn't know any of this i guess people just stopped telling me or maybe I stopped paying attention after a while either way hearing it now just makes everything feel worse like I've been in denial about who she really is but this time is different this time it's obsessive since Harold blocked her number she's been making burner accounts she started following him on Instagram using fake names commenting on photos from years ago things like "You deserve better. " and bet she doesn't even make you breakfast who even writes stuff like that it's embarrassing but it's also scary like she's trying to break us up one subtle dig at a time trying to plant seeds of doubt hoping one of them takes root but Harold isn't giving her anything he blocks every new account the second it shows up we've started keeping screenshots of everything just in case this turns into something we need to legally document i don't even feel safe in my own home right now every time I hear a car pull up outside I get tense harold offered to install cameras i told him maybe that was overkill but now I'm not so sure also and this part's been messing with my head my dad called we're not close i talked to him maybe a couple times a year usually on holidays or if someone in the family dies but he called out of the blue and said he heard something from one of my cousins and wanted to know what my mom had done this time i told him I wasn't in the mood to sugarcoat anything he laughed not a real laugh one of those dry bitter ones it probably comes from knowing exactly who she is he said "I knew she had issues but trying to bang her daughter's fiance that's a new one. " And yeah it's a new one for me too he also told me to watch my back that she's always been the type to twist everything around until she's the victim he's right she's already doing that in one of her texts she literally said she felt used and abandoned by me because I wasn't willing to support her in a moment of weakness like I'm supposed to console her for trying to seduce my fianceé the thing that keeps me up at night is knowing this probably isn't over she's not going to just disappear quietly she's going to escalate i can feel it and I'm starting to realize that no amount of blocking or boundaries will matter unless I fully cut her out not just emotionally legally if it comes to that harold's been amazing i keep waiting for him to freak out or back away or at least be weird about all this but he hasn't he checks in on me constantly makes sure I eat leaves notes for me before work i think he feels guilty even though he didn't do anything wrong i hate that she's tainting something good but I'm also grateful that he's handling it the way he is i just wish things were normal again i wish I had never let her stay with us i wish I had trusted that uneasy feeling I had when she asked to visit but I didn't and now I'm stuck trying to undo the damage from a week-long visit that spiraled into the most invasive disgusting mess I've ever experienced i don't know what her endgame is i don't think she even does she just wants attention or maybe she just wants to hurt me because she's miserable and I'm happy and she can't stand that either way I'm not playing her game update two she showed up at Harold's job but let me repeat that she drove 2 hours found the office building where he works walked through the front doors like she belonged there and tried to surprise him for lunch that's how she phrased it to the receptionist like she was his long-term partner or something the receptionist didn't know what to do with her obviously Harold works at a midsized financial firm not some open co-working space where people wander in and out she said she was his future mother-in-law and just wanted to take him out for a bite luckily the receptionist called Harold before letting her through he didn't even go out there he asked for security to walk her out and they did she made a scene in the parking lot shouting crying asking to speak to him just for a minute security ended up threatening to call the cops if she didn't leave i'm still in shock i haven't been able to sleep properly since it happened i keep thinking about what her plan even was did she really think he'd walk out of work smile and get in the car with her what would they have talked about over lunch the weather my childhood the part where she tried to kiss him on my couch and how did she even get the address we never gave it to her i never wrote it down anywhere obvious my best guess is she dug through old emails or documents or maybe she found it on his LinkedIn it's hard to tell with her because once she gets something in her head she doesn't stop after that I had enough i started the process of filing for a no contact order it hasn't gone through yet but we're keeping every message and screenshot i've got a whole folder in my phone titled mom receipts every weird comment every DM she sends from one of her dozen burner accounts every email it's all there but she's not just fixated on Harold anymore she started going after people around me that's the part that's been really messing with my head two of my bridesmaids texted me last night they were confused asking what was going on with my mom she apparently reached out to both of them separately and told them that I was having a breakdown and was sabotaging my own relationship she said I was projecting my insecurities and blaming her for problems that were actually between me and Harold she hinted that maybe Harold wasn't happy and I just didn't want to see it all of it laced in this gross fake sweet tone like she was just concerned thankfully both of them came straight to me they've seen enough to know something's off but it still made me sick to know she was doing that painting herself as the poor misunderstood mom being pushed out of her daughter's life and the scariest part is how good she is at it she knows exactly what parts of the truth to use to make it sound believable like how I've been anxious or how I've pulled away from some people lately she spins it just enough to make it sound like she's just worried like she's the victim of my irrational behavior it's messed up i can't even focus at work anymore i'll be writing an email or on a call and I'll start spiraling about what she's doing next who she's talking to what new account she's messaging Harold from he's had to block at least five so far instagram Facebook even LinkedIn she keeps changing the usernames to variations of fake wellness guru names or inspirational quotes and this isn't just online harassment i thought maybe I was overreacting but after what happened at his job I don't know anymore this doesn't feel like a normal boundary issue it feels like obsession like we're being stalked by someone who thinks she's entitled to our lives even my dad who's usually the last person I'd turn to has been checking in more after I told him what happened he called again to warn me said she's always been like this but something in her has snapped he's not wrong i remember her being emotionally messy after the divorce but never like this she used to lash out cry maybe go on a shopping spree or post passive aggressive quotes on Facebook but this is different this is dangerous the saddest part a tiny piece of me still wants to understand her i think that's what's been messing me up the most i keep asking myself what flipped the switch was it turning 50 seeing me happy when she isn't feeling unwanted after years of feeling ignored by men did something in her finally break but even if I understood it it wouldn't make it okay it wouldn't undo what she's done to me to Harold to the wedding to my friendships she crossed a line and there's no coming back from it for now we're just trying to stay one step ahead we've changed passwords updated privacy settings blocked everything we can i've warned all my close friends and told them not to engage if she reaches out harold has started coming straight home after work just in case we're documenting everything and still I wake up every morning with this sense of dread wondering what the next thing will be it's exhausting it's scary and somehow it still doesn't feel real update three we found out she's been talking to my ex and not just talking scheming it started with a weird message I got from Kyle my ex from college we haven't really kept in touch but it ended on okay enough terms that him reaching out wasn't totally out of nowhere what was out of nowhere was the reason he said he felt like he should let me know that my mom had been messaging him a lot on Facebook at first he assumed she was just being friendly or nostalgic he remembered how close she used to try to be with people I dated like she wanted them to like her more than they liked me but then she kept pushing the conversation into really bizarre territory she apparently messaged him weeks ago with something like "Hey stranger i miss seeing your face around.

" He ignored it at first thought it was some kind of weird glitch or maybe a late night drunk impulse but then she followed up kept asking how he was if he was dating anyone and started talking about me telling him I was different now that I had changed since we broke up and how I'd been unraveling lately because of jealousy issues that's when he got uncomfortable she told him I accused Harold of cheating on me when he hadn't a complete lie she said I had always had a controlling streak and that she was worried for Harold's safety like she was trying to plant this narrative that I was unstable that I was lashing out because I was losing control she even brought up fights Kyle and I had years ago and twisted them to make it sound like I'd always been the problem he didn't believe her he said it sounded too petty too bitter he didn't respond after that just watched from the sidelines as she kept messaging until eventually he blocked her then he told me I felt sick this wasn't just her crossing a line anymore she was actively trying to erase my credibility she was trying to isolate me from friends from family from Harold from everyone this is beyond attention seeking now this is malicious it's like she can't stand the idea of me having a life that doesn't revolve around her and since seducing Harold didn't work now she's trying to ruin me from the outside in i wish I could say that was the worst part but it keeps going i checked my blocked messages folder after Kyle told me turns out she's made three more burner accounts to message me in the past week they're all slightly different versions of the same garbage fake apologies blaming her actions on her mental health asking if I've calmed down yet one of them literally said "You know deep down this is all about your dad you never forgave me for what he did i don't even know what that's supposed to mean she's acting like I'm punishing her because she got cheated on number I'm angry because she's sabotaging my life and then playing the victim like she didn't corner my fiance in our own home and try to kiss him i'm not seven anymore i'm not her little emotional support system she can manipulate and then guilt trip when I don't behave the way she wants i'm an adult with my own life a life she's trying to tear apart because she can't control it and I guess the part that hurts the most is how much of my past I'm suddenly questioning i used to chalk up her drama to just bad choices or being overwhelmed but now I'm seeing a pattern I ignored for too long she did this kind of stuff in smaller ways for years undermining my decisions making herself the center of every moment telling me I was being dramatic if I ever pushed back i always thought I was being unfair by keeping her at arms length now I feel like I should have kept her out completely i called her once after I found out about Kyle just once i don't even know why I did it maybe I was hoping for some bit of an explanation something human i didn't even get a full sentence out before she started crying told me I would understand one day when I had a daughter of my own and that everything she did came from love i swear to God it took everything in me not to throw my phone out the window that's not love that's delusion i hung up and blocked the number again harold's been holding it together better than I have he keeps checking the cameras he installed and goes out of his way to make sure I'm never alone when she might try to show up again he hasn't said it but I can tell this is exhausting him too he didn't sign up for this but he's still here still choosing me and that means everything the wedding feels so far away now not even because of cold feet or doubts but because I'm not in a headsp space to even imagine standing at an altar right now every time I close my eyes I think about the way she was sitting next to him on that couch like she belonged there like I was the third wheel in my own living room i think about how easily she turned on me the moment she didn't get what she wanted and I think about how fast people can burn bridges and pretend they were never standing on them in the first place i'm not sure what the next step is i don't know if the no contact order will go through i don't know if she'll ever actually stop but I do know this she's not getting back in i'm done explaining myself to someone who doesn't actually want to understand me this isn't about jealousy or her painstaking midlife crisis it's about someone who's decided that if she can't control her own life she'll destroy mine instead and I won't let her final update we moved it wasn't some big dramatic exit no screaming no final confrontation just quiet boxes a lot of silence and a U-Haul truck we'd been talking about it for over a week ever since she showed up at Harold's job and things started feeling less like harassment and more like stalking but actually doing it leaving our apartment our neighborhood our routine it hit me harder than I thought it would harold's company let him transfer to a smaller branch in a different city 4 hours away i left my job i wasn't ready to jump into something new in person anyway so I took a remote position with less pressure we're renting a small place for now it's nothing fancy but it's quiet and no one here knows us that's what I needed the most to not be known by anyone even a little we also postponed the wedding there wasn't a fight no dramatic blowup harold didn't do anything wrong if anything he's the only reason I didn't completely lose it these past few weeks but after everything that happened I couldn't picture walking down the aisle with all of that still hanging over me the thought of trying to plan a wedding a celebration while constantly looking over my shoulder didn't sit right i needed to get my feet back under me first harold understood he said "We're not putting our relationship on hold just the event. " That helped but I won't lie it still broke my heart to say the words out loud and just to be clear none of this is over she's still messaging us we've blocked her on everything but she's slippery she uses fake emails new numbers usernames that sound like spam accounts but always manage to include some little reference that lets me know it's her things like "You'll always be my girl or your heart used to be kind like she's still trying to get a rise out of me or maybe convince herself that I'm the one who changed. " Harold gets some of it too dms on his old accounts weird friend requests from accounts with no profile pictures we don't respond we document everything i talked to a lawyer about a restraining order and I'm still considering it if she escalates again for now we're just keeping records i also found out she's still talking to people I haven't spoken to in years an old friend from college messaged me asking if everything was okay because my mom seemed really worried that's her new angle playing the concerned mother telling people I've cut her off with no explanation and that she just wants her daughter back no mention of the fact that she tried to seduce my fianceé stalked him at work and inserted herself into every corner of my life like a parasite it's hard not to feel paranoid even here even far away I catch myself double-checking locks closing my laptop when I step away avoiding phone calls unless I recognize the number harold doesn't say anything about it but I know he sees it he's gentle with me in a way that makes me want to cry sometimes like he's trying to help me feel safe without making me feel broken i still don't understand how it got this far i've been thinking a lot about when it started not just the incident with Harold but everything before that the way she latched on to my relationships growing up how she'd criticize my friends get too invested in my breakups always made everything about her i used to think she was just lonely but now I see it wasn't about loneliness it was about control she wanted me to orbit her always even if she had to blow up my life to make that happen i wish I could say I feel anger or closure or some kind of clarity but mostly I feel tired like I've been holding my breath for too long and finally came up for air there's still guilt in there too it's twisted but a part of me still wonders if I could have stopped this if I just set boundaries earlier or gone no contact sooner or been less understanding all the time she crossed lines when I was younger but then I remind myself I didn't cause this she did and no amount of compassion or second chances was ever going to fix someone who doesn't think they're broken i haven't told many people the full story a few close friends know some of my bridesmaids my aunt obviously my dad knows the basics but I don't think he really gets it he's mostly just been saying "I told you she was nuts.