@katiecouric: Michelle Obama

hi everyone I'm Katie Couric I recently interviewed first lady Michelle Obama for Glamour's women of the Year issue on newsstands November 10th we talked about her role models growing up as a child the importance of mentoring life in the White House and of course much more here's that complete interview and as always we'd like to thank the sponsor of our web show deaf the first thing I wanted to ask you is you've been in the White House for G about a year at nine months let's say what has been the most surprising thing for you

about being first lady you know it feels like we'd been doing it for a while so it's hard to say what's surprising I think that you know we've had just some amazing experiences traveling abroad being able to introduce our children to the world you know you know our trips have shown us the world through kids eyes as well you know sort of what they remember from a trip to Italy how they interact with the Pope and what they come away with their perspectives tend to be a bit of a surprise to me but I'm also

humbled by the response and the receptiveness not just here in in America but around the world and I still think that there's a part of that that warmth and that enthusiasm and that hope that is is surprising and humbling the girls must have eyes as big as saucers when they go to some of these places I mean what an extraordinary opportunity for them as young girls absolutely to see all these incredible places no they are they are very blessed and that's one other that's what I think about as we move through this I think about

how blessed my girls are and how so many other girls like them could really benefit from this broader exposure and and that's why I think that mentoring is is such a critical part of the role that I can play in in this position because I see how little bits of exposure and big bits of exposure really change my girl significantly and I want I want that for more girls around the country and around the world how do you view the role of first lady and what kind of impact do you hope to have as you

well know throughout history first ladies have had sort of pen causes if you will or things that they have felt strongly about and have you been I know that you've explored a number of areas but have you really focused on one they really want to to give it all - absolutely over the course of the campaign I had an opportunity just to find my passion in a set of issues and I've always tried to make sure that what I do really connects with the broader agenda of what my husband is trying to do because you

know he's got a pretty aggressive agenda so I want to make sure that what I do complements it but I also find that I have to be very passionate myself about the issue to be able to represent it well and one of the the big issues that I've talked a lot about over the past nine months is childhood health nutrition obesity one of the reasons why we plan at the garden was to set an example about what food can mean but to also begin you know a broader conversation about how we're feeding our kids what

they know about the food that they eat how they're taking care of themselves so I think we're going to spend a lot more time in the years to come really broadening out that discussion and finding ways to move our children's health to a better place and if we can do that over the time that on first lady I will be very satisfied with that accomplishment it's such a big problem in this country how do you move this notion though from from the White House and planting a garden to the homes of Americans America's children and

as well as their schools yeah well the the garden is is one of the things that I can do in this role but when I talk about the issue I'm really coming at it from pre White House times you know when I was a working mother with a busy husband a very demanding job and two little kids that I'm trying to feed and and understanding the challenges and the struggles that the average family has with feeding their kids in a healthy way those experiences do more to shape how we hope to approach this issue and

it's it's it's one that's not accusatory or places blame it's one of Education and awareness because I know I had to learn a lot about what it means to feed and care for your kids in in a country where fast food is abundant where time is is is a you know is a rarity we're eating out is a trend because families are so busy you know we I struggled with that so I think that having the conversation in an open way and doing it at an elevated level sort of telling people yes I'm first lady

but I know the struggles but there's also the policy piece you know if we begin the conversation by setting examples that we maybe begin can begin to have the discussions about what we can do to help families sort of put their their kids health in a different place and that does mean how what kids are eating at lunch you know how people are spending their time so there are many avenues to take on this issue it's interesting to note too I've learned that in lower socioeconomic neighborhoods fresh produce and healthy food is a lot more

scarce that's right and that's a real dilemma and it has terrible implications for children for poor children in this country absolutely so the access issue is is critical and that's policy as well so there's a there's a lot we can do and I think role modeling can't be taken for granted because this is about education educating people about the choices they can make in their own lives with what they have and and taking ownership over that in a way that's doable and it's not intimidating or you don't feel like it's it's out of reach and

hopefully the conversations that we have will put people in that place where they think maybe there are a few changes that I can make even within my own life given what I have where I live right now while I'm waiting for these big policy right things to happen things can happen in small steps just a single family that's right because that was the case for me with my kids you know I changed their eating habits with a few changes you know taking out sugary drinks trying to cook a bit more maybe a couple of times

a week rather than none you know sitting down as a family to eat ordering out less Chinese you know things like that maybe you should write a cookbook oh well you know not not so much well you know I know that we're working on a cookbook because I think that would be a great thing to do and it would help a lot of families and I know you would write it in a way that you understood the pressures that a lot of working parents have right well and it's an at-home parent area there's talk about

that right well you're not gonna break that no no big scoop for me today let me ask you about your role models growing up who were they you know they were the people in my life my mom for sure my dad the teachers me when I think back about the stories and the interactions that run through my head as I go through life and I make decisions and think and think about the conversations I'm having with my kids those are conversations that I had with people in in my neighborhood cousins grandparents so for me role

modeling was immediate it was touchable people that I knew you know it was rare for me to idolize a movie star or a singer you know because I really felt more grounded with the people that were in my life present and and and active so for me it was it was family and friends anyone who was a public figure though who wasn't maybe a movie star was there anybody in the field of science or an astronaut or anybody like that you were you remember just sort of even seeing that image when you were a little

girl you know III have to realistically say no not that you know sort of famous people didn't impact me at all but for me a role model is for me is somebody readily identifiable you know it's hard for me to understand who an astronaut is without knowing them without having access to them you know and I think that's something that that that we're trying to sort of delve into as we talk about mentoring that you know you don't have to be the first lady or the President of the United States or famous you know chemists

to really play an important role in a child's life because truly children connect with who is in their lives present and accounted for and oftentimes those are family members and neighbors folks you see getting up going to work every day you know when I was little I wanted to be a mother because that's who I saw I saw my mom caring for me those were the games that I play I didn't play doctor I didn't play lawyer and I didn't have those visions until I was in college meeting people who were doing those things or

in in in in my later years in high school but when you're little you know it's the people who are touching you and that was true for me and that's why you know we're trying to encourage you know moms housewives soccer moms teachers fathers you know to to be that presence in in the children's lives in in their communities because it really makes a difference you had an event at the White House and it sounded so exciting where you invited a number of accomplished women in all sorts of different fields and then you invited young

girls from the Washington area from DC Public Schools and they got to I hate the word interface but they got to sit down and get up close and personal with some of these very accomplished women why did you want to do that you know it's it's something that I've always done throughout my sort of a sense so to speak throughout the careers that I've had starting with being a lawyer I think after I got out of law school and worked in a big law firm I I thought there are so many kids like me in

my neighborhoods that could be here but for more support from their families better financial aid any number of things but the gap is so wide once you miss that opportunity so I was always interested in figuring out how do you bridge that you know how do you make sure that the kids out there who didn't get these opportunities still understand that there's a connection and vice versa it's not a one-way street and I felt as a lawyer when I was mentoring and working with kids that I gained a level of groundedness and perspective that you

know I just couldn't get sitting on the 47th floor of a fancy firm so you know the there's a back-and-forth give there and I've done that in almost every single career so selfishly it gives me joy it it it makes me feel like my life has a purpose and I definitely thought well if I felt all that in those other roles just imagine what we can do in the White House particularly with the kids in the DC area many of whom have never set foot on the White House lawn you know have never thought maybe

they drove past the building or saw it in a field trip but never thought that they'd be sitting in the East Room having dinner and having women like Mary Shelley Alicia Keys on and on and on ground I mean you know we had such a collection of women and we could have made it bigger because there were many amazing women who wanted to participate we just had limited number of people just imagine what that did for those girls you know to be in that place and to be an equal sitting with women who were there

because they cared about those kids and that was a vision that I that I've had throughout my life and was just thrilled to be able to do it as one of the first major initiatives of my term as first lady where the girls just completely miss being on stage but we're it makes me imagine what it was like watching their faces and seeing them and well the first thing we did was to have the women go out to a broader base of schools so Alicia Keys went to visit a school I went to a school

in Anacostia so it was a day's worth of activities you know and when I went to at the school in Anacostia and those kids didn't know I was coming and I sat for about an hour and talked to about 20 kids and let them ask me anything you know just the you know just to look in their faces their desire to just hold my hand to have a hug I mean those are such little things and to have that happening all throughout the city for boys and girls because we we did that with with not

just girls but to see those kids walking into the White House and sitting down with a plated dinner with name cards and flowers and you know it I was as excited as they were and many of those relationships have continued we've heard just anecdotally about people who stayed connected hired some of the kids talk to kids about college so again you know what happens in those casual interactions those sort of planned connections they can naturally link to other things but it was also amazing seeing the excitement in the eyes of the of the the women

who were there you know they poured their hearts out Sheryl Crow song are hot out Alicia Keys knocked it out of the park Fran Drescher was just terrific did she go hey she did it all that's good thank you so it was it was a great great night and it's led us to think about how we can do more in a more substantive way and in fact you're broadening out that effort aren't you you're going to be or you're replicating that effort around the country tell me about this we're gathering a group of women in

the East and West Wing and around the administration to have them serve over a longer period of time as mentors to some girls in need throughout the DC community because you know we thought well if we can have that kind of impact and one night just imagine if we were working with a group of girls over the course of a year or to having them come to the White House for dinners for plays travel with me periodically giving them access to resources like college prep and understanding financial aid and having our communications people come down

and talk about public speaking having them meet some of the you know best and brightest women in the nation who were working for the administration and the surrounding areas if we're doing that over a longer period of time we can change lives and perhaps we can encourage other people throughout the country who already do this stuff because there are tons of fabulous mentoring programs for boys and girls this is not a new model as we all know but we can remind ourselves of how these little acts of connection over a year or two or three

of a teenager's life can can change the way they think about themselves and their future so we're very excited the potential do you worry about the kind of women who are celebrated in today's society I know I do having two daughters do you think there are enough positive role models out there because we're inundated with images of women celebrated for things that aren't necessarily worthy of celebration you know I think we have to be cognizant we have to be focused but I also think in my experiences that there are so many more really good role

models out there we just have to make sure that we don't glorify just one type and and I think we have to stay focused on that people who have access to young people we have to be reminded that we have to continue to emphasize the many many strong role models that are there in entertainment as well as in real life we have the first female Latina Supreme Court justice justice Sotomayor who is powerful in her own right and willing to be a role model she's ready to roll up her sleeves and be a force in

some kids lives I could name hundreds of people like her you know when we do this mentoring program we will not have a shortage of people who want to be involved but I wish the media would focus on well that's what you're doing and it's through conversations like this and articles like the one that will we'll see in Glamour that will remind us of the power that we have and our ability you and I to take take hold of this issue and present a broader set of possibilities for our girls I worry about images but

I don't I know my kids my girls know the difference you know talk to them about we talk about everything you know and I think that that's part of mentoring and that's something that you know I want to do for other girls you know kids aren't they're not stupid you know and engaging them in a conversation about what they're seeing and what they're getting from it and what it means makes a difference I think it makes a difference in my girls lives and our hope is that through our mentoring initiative that we'll have an opportunity

to engage our girls to really sit down and have a conversation about who they're who they're mimicking what they see you know who do they want to be and why and those kind of conversations force young people boys and girls to think real critically about what they're seeing I think they're often smarter than we give them credit for - absolutely absolutely let me ask you about health care because the recently you said if we want to achieve true equality for women then we have to reform the system I think that would be very interesting to

people women and to glamour readers but what exactly did you mean by that how do we make the system more equitable well first of all we have to remember that it's usually women who are making the healthcare decisions for their families whether it's the person who's sitting at that checkup and worrying about getting immunizations and whether kids are getting flu shots and it's not just with kids but if people are caught in that Sandwich Generation where they're also caring for a parent an elderly person in their lives it's women who are in the doctor's office

and looking through insurance policies and looking at the claims that are coming back and forth so we sort of know what's going on we we feel the challenge more greatly because these are the decisions that we're responsible for making sure that there's equity in terms of you know how insurance reimburses certain procedures making sure that we have preventive care that's covered women who can get their mammograms and pap screens without extra charges people you know having policies that don't you know identify pre-existing conditions that are unique to women whether it's having a c-section or being

a victim of domestic violence there's so much of that that's going on in the system that really makes it difficult for women to you know really have a strong economic hold if insurance is always an issue if they're avoiding taking care of themselves because they they can't get regular check-ups and part of what you know we feel is that women have to be educated about these issues and knowledgeable about what the challenges are and have a voice in how reform happens that's primarily you know the message that that I wish was was attempting to deliver

in the conversation with women around health care reform you must have learned a lot about this also in your previous life as a hospital administrator well also in my previous life as a mom you know I mean still you know I start life as a mom right my previous life is a mom not being the first lady you're right yeah but you know I think we all intuitively have an experience with this issue because you know if you don't have access to insurance insurance becomes a worry that can drag you down and for many people

who do have health care but it's not stable it's not consistent premiums are going up as one of the the women who spoke at our forum you know she works for an insurance industry was a widow has a teenage son she's trying to raise and she's spending thousands on her premiums because of pre-existing and missions she was you know almost went bankrupt because she paid off the co-payments for her husband who died of colon cancer there women all over the country who are who understand this in a real way and know that we have to

do something to reform the system or else you know we're going to be dealing with these challenges for years to come and we're going to be passing them on to our kids so it's not it's not hard to connect you know whether I'm in my role or as a as a former hospital administrator it's just living in this nation and looking around you know that something's something's not working let me I want to make sure I get to the glamour questions your husband was recently asked who he would most like to have dinner with his

answer was Gandhi really who would you like to have dinner with oh there are so many mini it is a hard question I have to say oh I don't want to steal his it's true Gandhi that was a good answer um I want to think about it and you can tell me later yeah no I have to think about that okay I know it is one of those things you have you know you go back because you know recently I've met some really neat people I was gonna say the Queen of England that was that

was a great lunch Nelson Mandela you've you know I didn't get a chance to sit down with him he would definitely be among those that I would like to talk to somebody like Mohammed Ali you know if it you know just understanding what his life has been like and what he's seen and how he's sort of used these changes he loved his wife too yes I met him but how he had a chance to actually sit down and have a conversation you know someone who I was able to sit down with who I would have

wanted to is justice Sotomayor I mean you know we both Princeton alums someone who whose path I followed and to understand how her experiences were were similar her her challenges were similar even though she experienced them years before I did you know it's so we'll we'll think more about it I know those are good there's good but if you have some to add you can always listen or listen to me no all right this is a glamour question Rachel Williams from Silver Spring Maryland wants to know hi Rachel who mentored youth for your career there

she says there must have been someone believing in you how can I find this part I think is sad how can I find somebody who will help me yeah I was blessed throughout my entire career not just my professional career but as a student as a high schooler I had people rooting for me it started with my parents but it extended to almost every other teacher that I had that saw something in me and and when I was a young lawyer there were other women and men in the firm who took me under their wing

and gave me advice and guidance even some current West Wing administrators Valerie Jarrett was a mentor to me when I worked in the city what I would tell rachel is that she should look for those mentors because sometimes mentors don't find you sometimes you seek them out and that she shouldn't hesitate to plop herself in someone's office and ask them to be that support to them and she'll be surprised that many people are flattered a lot of people who are in power don't think that you know they don't see themselves in that way they don't

see themselves as someone who could help another because they're busy and focused but often times when they're asked they're flattered and they're they're glad to lend a hand so I would encourage not just Rachel but any of the readers particularly young women to seek out mentors and to and and to then follow through and be you know very focused and persistent and follow up with these folks so that they know that they're serious about wanting their support many readers wanted to know how you've managed your responsibilities as first lady your duties as a mom and

a relationship with your husband I suddenly feel like I'm high anyway yeah and the question is I'm in grad school with no children and I can barely find time to see my boyfriend Ashley from Altamont Florida wrote how is it possible to possible to have it all including your sanity I could ask this question a lot as well how how how do you bounce it off yes you know and I I get very humble with this question because what I was doing years ago with no support and I shouldn't say no support but without staff

and you had your mom I've always had my mom so again always asking for that help and accepting it from people around you couldn't do it without that I've always had a supportive husband who did whatever he could and gave me the flexibility to explore and putting us in debt to have other support so that I could do things so now with all the support around me as first lady I feel like this is easier than it was when you know I was back in Chicago doing this without all the help so what I try

have always tried to do is put my kids first and then structure everything else around that and the one thing that I've done over the years is I put myself a really close second behind my kids as opposed to fifth or seventh on my list of priorities because I think one of the things that I've learned from watching male role models is that they don't hesitate to invest in themselves with the view that if I'm healthy and happy then I'm gonna be a better support to my spouse and my children and I found that to

be the case that once my kids were settled and in a space that if the next thing I did was to take care of my own health and my own sanity and make sure that I was exercising and felt good and happy about myself I'd bring that energy to to everything else that I did that's a little yearing relationship on and on and on because so many women don't do that their own pair of or two more okay Yvonne from Yadin Pennsylvania wanted to know about life in the White House specifically how do you put

up with the constant scrutiny of your life and appearance such as how you wear your hair or how long your pants are different she didn't ask this but I'll add do you ever want to say to people get a life oh no yes seriously it's part of the job you know but you must roll your eyes sometimes and say oh my you know do you really pay attention to it yeah what what and I've said this before that and I think this goes to the whole prioritization issue for me all we can do as women

is make the best decisions for us you know and that goes that includes everything from how you look to how you dress to you know how you whether you choose to stay at home or work when you have kids all those decisions are so personal and we have to start with finding what brings us joy and gives us our what brings us our own individual confidence and if we're feeling good with those choices then it makes what everybody else has to say less important you know it's there people are always going to have opinions and

people have a right to their opinions particularly when you're the first lady you're representing the nation so I can't be surprised that people are interested but I think the first thing that I've tried to do is you know be at peace with the choices that I make first and then be open to everyone else's reflection and then move from there the final question which I think would be good for glamour candace from memphis tennessee wanted to know how you landed such a good guy he says maybe he landed you right you know did you know

that mr. o was a great catch when you met him and what advice can you give a 26 year old young professional about dating you know my husband the President of the United States is that weird to still say oh yeah oh yeah you trying to do it with a straight face but he was always special you know and not special he's gonna be important like he's gonna be President he was special in terms of his his honesty his sincerity his his compassion for other people you know all those qualities you know cutes good but

cute only last for so long and then it's who are you as a person and that was the special that I saw and that's the advice I would give to two women you know don't look at the bank book or the or the title you know look at look at the heart look at the soul you know look at how the guy treats his mother and you know what he says about women and how he acts with children that he doesn't know and more importantly how does he treat you you know when you're dating a

man you should always feel good you should never feel less then you should never doubt yourself you shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you completely happy and make you feel whole and if you're in that relationship and you're dating then my advice is don't get married or get out of it get out of it and find that person that brings you complete and utter utter joy with who you are at the moment so that was you know if if that's a tip I would offer that as a suggestion Michelle Obama thanks

so much for spending time with thank you really fun talking to you absolutely same here that was my interview with Michelle Obama be sure to check out the grandma remedy your issue when it hits newsstands and now stay tuned for a message from our sponsor job