it's often said that no one can ever really say what a good relationship is let alone draw up a checklist for a prospective one we politely disagree one pick someone you feel profoundly grateful ever decided to look your way start from a sense that you are the lucky one and that they are superior the truth in this matter is irrelevant two make sure you fancy them check out that you have compatible areas of perversion and little interest being normal in bed three allow yourselves both to admit from an early stage that you are mad heavily distorted by your pasts unable to understand yourselves prone to irrational assumptions and unsteady in your assessments of reality 4. make apology the most regular of occurrences say sorry about everything all the time and reduce the price of an admission to almost zero five remove all Pride from your character you were an idiot then you are an idiot now you will be an idiot tomorrow there is simply no other option for a human being make jokes six regularly explore how you've disappointed one another let them sometimes hate you and you them don't be frightened by anger moderately expressed the enemy of Love is stifled emotion not maturely explored authenticity listen very carefully when they tell you how they feel seven never describe them categorically as this or that insulting trait only ever say I feel you are this or that observe the difference eight get good at sensing the fear beneath your angry moods then Express the fear gently rather than acting out the anger 9. reduce expectations of perfection it's going to be horrible at times allow for major frustrations you will want to kill them and they're you don't 10.
except you will have crushes on others let these crushes wash over you and if the mood is right share them gently with your partner 11. if there are children recognize that love will suffer hugely look forward to properly picking up the Baton again in about 15 years 12. become the sort of person who has no embarrassment about being needy a cept the child in you and look after their needs in the relationship 13.
read up about attachment Theory and keep the concepts close at hand at all times 14. stop being defensive stop needing to maintain a proud hold on your own dignity laugh continually your foolishness and apologize for it 15. except they can't save you from your own disturbances try to be happy in yourself and if you are not don't redirect the blame observe how often your Rocky patches are really projected versions of your own life crises get a therapist 16.
