hi I'm Bryson and I have a lot of siblings naturally I've already made videos about them and slander their names don't worry Mom and Dad will get their chance on the slander Spotlight soon in the meantime I decided to compile all my favorite stories about my siblings please enjoy the sibling Saga hey brener if you jump off this Cliff right now I'll give you a penny oh hi I'm Bryson and a while ago I'm made a video about the times I almost died and the times I got hurt really bad but that got me thinking
about the other injuries in my family and one sibling came to mind one who had dodg the grasp of death more times than I can count the sibling who had little to no regard for his own mortality and would regularly hurt himself the wild child if you will the youngest brother brener this is going to be a long video because brener gets injured a lot I don't want to cut out good stories or do a part two so let's just sit down relax grab some popcorn and laugh at my brother's pain now almost all of
Brenner's injuries were self-inflicted however I think it's only right we start the video with Brenner's very first injury the one he got from me brener had recently been born and my parents invited me into their room to say hi to my new baby brother as I said hello to him he reached out his hand and scratched my chest now obviously brener was just a baby he had no control of his body and was just moving around but my 4-year-old brain could not let this slide how dare you first you come into my house take my
spot as the cute youngest child and take all the attention from my parents and now this I offered you my hand in friendship and you attacked me you must pay recompense for your actions hey no stop just calm down don't do it my parents tried to stop me but it was too late I reached out and scratched him back he began to cry and my parents put me in timeout little did brener know his pain had just begun okay in all seriousness I felt really bad for what I did even now I still regularly apologize
to Bruner about it but he can't even remember it so he doesn't care brener my conscience has really been getting to me lately and I'm so sorry about what I did dude that was 17 years ago can you just move on I forgive you okay thank you I love you brener I'm so glad I could get that off my chest remember in My Pain video where my brother Brody slammed the door in my fingers yeah apparently that experience runs in the family Brody walked through a door as a young brener was sticking his fingers in
the hinges and Brody slammed the door again Brenner's fingers bent every which way if I had a nickel for every time I slammed a sibling's fingers in the door I'd have two nickel that isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice luckily bren's fingers didn't break and the doctors fixed him up feel better soon Buddy and don't get into any more trouble I will make no such promises one time me and Brena were playing tag and rather than be tagged by me he jumped into a busy street and a car barely avoided him
I guess brener was more willing to die than lose a tag would you rather die a terrible death or definitely death wait you didn't hear the other opt death I genuinely don't know why he is so accident prone but this next story was no accident you know how sometimes your mom has a really good friend so she decides to make you hang out with her friends children but you don't like them yeah when I was younger my mom sent me and brener to play with the neighbor kids Jake and Steven the main reason I didn't
like Jake was because he said your sister is so hot Britney was 18 Jake and I were eight have you considered shutting up anyways I spent the day tolerating Jake's Shenanigans but eventually I hid from him on the front porch and watched brener and Steven play in the front yard come here brener I want to show you something brener walked up to him Steven grabbed his hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of scissors and started cutting Brenner's fingers stop I ran over to them to check on brener his fingers were bleeding
and he was crying I slapped the scissors out of Steven's hand grabbed him by the arm and forced him inside to his mom hey Steven just cut bren's fingers with scissors H oh Stephen what that's it I was shocked call my mom right now so she can pick us up we're leaving we left and bren's fingers healed just fine but still that reaction ction from the mom was not okay luckily I never had to go to that family's house again reminds me of another time Brody was really young and another boy was punching him my
mom took the kid to his mom and told her that his son was hitting Brody and all she did was say soft hands Hunter I mean come on soft hands how about punishing your kid for hitting a stranger you clearly don't know how to discipline children here I'll show you how it's done a lot of Brenner's injuries were caused by him wanting to grow up fast and to keep up with his older brothers for example my turn Bryson doesn't need training wheels on his bike so neither do [Music] I let me try but one time
brener tried to set a trend that the other brothers would follow and the consequences were severe this next story is the real reason I made this video I'm honestly still surprised that Bruner survived this it was bad in our basement we had a tall exercise machine that looked like this brener decided that he wanted to climb it and jump off it onto our bean bag for fun however this time it went horribly wrong brener pushed the bean bag close to the machine climbed up and jumped head first with the same regard for his life that
a Minecraft player has when seeing one block of water at the bottom of a cliff part of the bean bag covered the exercise bench which extended out hiding the big metal part underneath brener thought that since there was part of the bean bag there it would be soft but his head slammed through the bean bag into the metal part and he split his forehead wide open mom and Britney came running into Bruner crying with blood all over him they freaked out and dashed him out of the house to take him to the hospital I only
caught a glimpse of him as they ran out but I could tell it was bad Britney and Mom later told me that they could see Brenner's skull through the gash in his head my dad sent me to a friend's house so they could watch me while my parents took care of brener I remember sitting on their stairs terrified that I'd never see brener again God please hear my prayer if you make brener be okay I promise I'll never be mean to him [Music] again at the hospital since brener was so accident prone they kept pointing
to cuts on his head that were from previous Shenanigans is this cut old or new is this cut old or new is this old or new finally my sister was like this the gaping gash on his forehead that is new forget the rest of it fix that somehow the doctors patched him up I think they even had a plastic surgeon involved in fixing his head when I next saw Brunner he was up on his feet with 25 stitches in his head but he was okay pH I thought you were going to die brener I'm so
glad you're okay okay [Music] [Laughter] anyway brener still has a massive scar across his forehead but thanks to the doctors he was okay Brunner can you please calm down on the injuries you're going to die if you're not careful it's not hard to die I could do it like right now but like number two another time a young brener was using the bathroom and found a bottle of painkiller on the countertop they were coated in a sugary glaze to make them go down easier so brener took the pills one by one and sucked on them
till they ran out of sugar then spat them out he did this over and over and over and from sucking on the pills he got sick and passed out I'm a tired my mom discovered brener unconscious on the bathroom floor surrounded by pills what and once again the doctors proved why it's good to go to college not for me though but as for you guys good for you I don't know how they saved him honestly I don't really know how doctors work for all I know they could have removed all of Bruner's blood which was
tainted with drugs thrown it away then pumped him up with fresh blood I don't know another time he swallowed a bunch of coins and again my parents rushed him to the hospital where he was x-rayed to show a pile of coins in his stomach they told my poor parents to dig through his waste until they got all the coins he was like a piggy bank but way more disgusting he was like a piggy bank but way more disgusting honestly with how often brener visited the hospital I'm surprised they didn't have a special section of the
hospital just for him this next story is surprisingly the only time that Berner has ever broken a bone you would think at this point that he would have no bones left because of how often he gets hurt but nope he still has bones my family has a small motorcycle that we call Big Bera it's fun to ride around on but it has no suspension it is two wheels and a motor that's it one day brener was driving it and despite knowing that Big Bertha had no suspension he decided to ride it off a curb the
bike bounced Brunner swerved and lost control and he went head over handlebars he landed on his arm and totally snapped his wrist One hospital trip later and brener had a cast he wanted his cast to be unique so he asked me to paint it to look like thanos's Gauntlet so I got the paint out and painted it as best I could to look like The Gauntlet it looked pretty cool in my opinion but then later R's arm got itchy the doctors told him that his arm would be itchy at first but that if he ignored
it the itchiness would go away they also specifically told him to leave the cast alone and to not shove anything into the cast to try and scratch his itch however the itch got the better of brener so without consulting anyone he grabbed bro's glasses and started shoving the long end into his cast in an attempt to scratch his itch he pulled the glasses out only to realize that the little rubber covering had slipped off and it was now stuck in the cast determined to scratch his itch and recover the rubber cover brener somehow removed all
of the soft wrappings underneath the cast leaving only the hard outer shell brener had scratched his itch and was satisfied then mom walked in and saw what brener had done what what what did I do Mom why didn't do they went back to the hospital and explain the situation can you imagine being a doctor and setting someone up with a nice cast to help them heal and the next thing you know they ruined it I feel like the maid I just cleaned up this m and we keep it clean for for 10 minutes they had
to cut off his Thanos cast and make another one for him brener got home and asked me to paint his new cast no I spent a lot of time painting that last one and you ruined it how do I know you won't ruin it again come on man just paint it again why why should I be penalized because of you're sloppy so brener went around wearing a lame blue cast rather than a cool Thanos cast a few months later the doctors took off the cast and they realized that Brenner's arm had healed crooked it was
literally like a 15° angle my mom pointed this out and the doctor said yeah well it's within the range of crookedness that we consider to be acceptable so we're just going to leave it like that what that's easy for you to say you're not the one who has to live with a crooked arm fix his arm and do it right this time so the doctors explained that in order to fix it they would have to rebre Brunner's arm angle it correctly and recast it do it wait what hold them down wait no so they did
that and Bruner's arm eventually healed correctly but not without pain now you would think that after breaking his arm on big Bera that Berner would never touch that thing again right nope let me tell you one last story one day me and brener got bored and decided to go for a ride him on Big Bertha and me on my go-kart we chased each other around a parking lot but then I thought how can I make racing around more interesting and my mind went to my favorite racing game Mario Kart you know the game where you
destroy your enemies by throwing items at them so I decided to drive by brener and throw my flipflops at him we went back and forth throwing flip flops at each other like green shells for some time then I zoomed by and got a good flip-flop strike on brener and he wanted to retaliate with something strong stronger he grabbed a big tree branch and drove towards me he swung the branch and I swerved out of the way but the branch was so heavy that swinging it threw Bruner off balance he swerved and flew over the handlebars
once more again freaking again brener was scraped and bruised but luckily nothing broke and he finally learned his lesson and he doesn't drive big berth anymore but I do here we are at the end of the video and yet that's not even all of berner's injuries but if I keep talking about them this video is going to be 30 minutes long and at that time he'll probably injure himself again let's quickly get through some last stories lightning Round We visited a janky aquarium that let you swim with sharks and a bamboo shark bit Brenner's finger
brener went to a trampoline park attempted a stupid trick and landed on his head and had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks brener and Brody went kayaking Brody tried to Splash brener with the p battle but it skipped off the water slammed into bren's face and cracked his front teeth a car almost backed over him as a child but he hung onto the bumper while being dragged and my sister stopped the car to save him his friend accidentally shot him in the forehead with a BB gun and his forehead still has a
dent in conclusion Brenner's Guardian Angel is built different because she has saved brener more times than I can count and as much as I make fun of him I am grateful for that as he has grown I think he has gotten a little less accident prone let's hope it keeps going in that direction cuz I'm pretty sure he has used up all of his Nine Lives God has sent his soul back to the living world so many times at this point that if brener shows up there again God might just say oh forget it and
keep him well hey it could be worse at least his soul is going to [Music] heaven hello hello is this thing on hey my brother has been bullying me a ton lately but I've been studying his tactics and I know how to get him back I've set up a bucket above his door so that when he walks through who gets soaked oh here it comes what you dare use my own spells against me hi I'm Bryson and this is my older brother Braden we're best friends now but our relationship wasn't always like that Braden was
a total bully and I was the innocent victim for our whole lives that's shut up anyway you tell me to shut up back off it's my channel I don't care I'm boss I'm BG I have more money you better l anyway today I wanted to regil you with some of the Fantastical stories of our sibling rivalry and how that blossomed into a beautiful friendship let's start at the beginning brayen had a huge problem with me minding my own business I would just be chilling in my room playing with Legos and he would come in and
knock them down it's kind of like a beaver when it sees water they both think well someone's got to put a stop to this one time we were wrestling and we had stuffed pillows under our shirts for protection Bren saw this and thought oh he's got a pillow under his shirt he's immune to all attacks so it doesn't matter how hard I hit him then he kicked me into a stool it dug into my unprotected back and knocked the wind out of me okay stop being so dramatic you're fine look I'm thinking there's no reason
we can't keep this little incident between us don't tell Mom or I'll ring your neck okay all good see you later Braden himself has told told me that he didn't discover empathy until one day when he threw a pine cone at Brody's back and made him bleed oh anyway he didn't apply empathy until several years later though even now his empathy is selective Braden loves pushing buttons growing up with him was a master class in making other people mad and bothering me was easy I just wanted peace and Braden knew exactly how to shatter that
peace for example for several nights in a row I would be in bed Braden would come in and say you've had it far too good for far too long and then beat me up after I would say why and he would say no reason unprovoked anyway see you same time tomorrow night one time we were on a family cruise and mom wanted us all to take a picture together at this point bradden's button pushing and bothersome Tendencies had infected all of us it was like a virus Braden would bother me and to blow off steam
I would bother brener what a healthy brother Dynamic hurt people hurt people what can I say am I right and further Braden was an expert at making it seem like it was my fault and playing innocent so there we were getting ready to take a picture and Brody and Braden decide this would be a perfect time to start grabbing my butt obviously I get angry and start pushing and trying to get them to stop as they laugh at me mom hears the Ruckus and of course assumes I'm just causing problems for no reason and says
Bryson stop stop so I tried to just deal with it and smile for the picture as my brothers laughed at me here is a recreation of that picture I lost on all accounts I look super ugly cuz I'm trying not to squirm because my butt is being grabbed mom was mad at me and Brody and Braden look great they were experiencing the pure joy of a devious master plan coming together they knew I had no options so their smiles are genuine neither of them had ever nor ever would again smile that brightly for any family
photos however me and Braden did have a team up on that same trip I was in the shower and brener kept turning off the light to bug me I kept warning him that I would spit water on him if he kept turning off the light but that only strengthened his resolve to bother me he would turn it off and then run away down the hall over and over eventually I asked Braden to help me administer Justice to brener and he agreed Braden hid behind the door brener came back and turned off the light but before
he could Escape Braden grabbed him do it now as I filled up my mouth with water to spray brener I started laughing about how funny it was going to be when I sprayed him but the laughter caused me to accidentally inhale the water it all went in my lungs and I started coughing violently and something about that made my stomach go oh yeah he's coughing uh let's just do a full reset send all stomach contents back from once they came please beep and I threw up in the shower as my brothers watched I should have
just thrown up on brener he would have never bothered me again but alas here's another example of Braden Shenanigans infecting his fellow men we were in high school at this point and Braden had taken a liking to flipping me off however eventually it just became an inside joke to us and I would flip him off back so we would do this all the time to each other as confused bystanders watched it basically became our way of greeting each other but one day this harmless Prank Went quite wrong we were getting food at a restaurant I
paid and the lady gave me my receipt and I went to give her a thumbs up but the Habit was so deeply ingrained in me that I accidentally flipped her off luckily her head was turned and as she turned back in the nick of time I switched my hands to a thumbs up that was the real life equivalent of using the wrong emote I told Braden about it and we laughed and flipped each other off honestly there aren't a ton of crazy stories of Braden bullying me it was more of an evenly spread Slow Burn
that chipped away at my sanity for years for example hitting me unprovoked to keep me on my toes stealing my stuff and hiding it kicking me off the Xbox giving me a disconnected controller to make me think I was playing a video game with him pushing me too hard on the rope swing so I would hit a tree splashing me in pools and throwing the Hot Potato at me way too hard Etc that kind of stuff takes a toll when you're small it was a vicious cycle of him purposefully aggravating me too much and me
being too sensitive and there's no Rhyme or Reason To His crimes either it usually plays out like this what a brute no matter I know his tactics he's trying to get a reaction out of me well he's out of luck I've gained total Mastery over my emotions that being said I've got to find a way to get him back for this later tonight I'll set a trap for him in his room when he walks in I'll be hiding in the closet with a water gun to soak him and then I'll frame brener for it it
will be the perfect crime laugh while you can Bren because tonight your rain comes to an end prank him John all this being said I got to throw in at least one good story about Braden because he truthfully is a great brother and I love him very much the year was 2017 and I was about to turn 16 the Nintendo switch was releasing the next day and I asked my parents if I could wake up early wait and land at the store and buy the switch with their money for my birthday since it would probably
be out of stock everywhere by the time my birthday really did arrive they said no and I went to bed disappointed then at 5:00 a.m. Braden woke me up and told me that Mom and Dad only told me no to make it a surprise and that we were going to the store to buy it now it was a great brother experience and I'll always have fond memories of waiting in line with Braden and playing Zelda and here I am 6 years later playing the new Zelda on that same release day switch I'm tired of this
Grandpa that's to man that being said sometimes Braden does half nice half mean things hey leave him alone punks that's my job ow now I don't claim to be the innocent victim in all these circumstances I push Braden's butttons too as my mom taught us it takes two for contention and I will not be one but with me and Braden I would change it to it takes two for contention and we will both be one on that note Braden avidly claims that I once threw a full can of sprite at his head I don't remember
this at all but admittedly it's not fully out of character for me and one time we were on a tandem kayak together and I was purposefully rowing out of sink with him so that our paddles would Clank together right left right left do it right I'm trying sometimes I forget my lefts and rights just follow my lead left right left right you're doing it wrong on purpose what are you going to do about it tip me we're on the same boat idiot but I also do nice things for him like finding him a wife let
me explain one time a bunch of families and friends in my neighborhood went on a big old campinghiking trip and I was eating lunch with our family friend Kira as we chatted and ate I said to her you should date Braden M I don't think brayden's really my type and I thought to myself M sure he isn't honey and 5 years later I was the best man at their wedding called it Braden owes his marriage to me as such I will be naming the firstborn child no the baby's name will be Bryson 2 the sequel
not happening it's happening guys here's another family love story Brody brought brought home a girl named Jen to meet the family so we decided to all play a board game together it was a secret rooll game we will call it secret bad guy anyway in the board game the good guys are trying to figure out who the bad guys are and stop them to win we got our secret roles and I was the bad guy I had to keep my identity secret and convince everyone that I was a good guy the game went on and
it got to the point where if I was elected as Chancellor me and the bad guys would win I had been purposefully playing in a way that Braden totally convinced that I was innocent mom was skeptical but Braden advocated for me and elected me as Chancellor because I had earned his trust the vote passed if Bryson is the bad guy then we lose Bryson you're not the bad guy [Laughter] right braen was so angry that I had deceived him that he literally grabbed me threw me on the table and strangled me as I laughed all
while Jen watched in horror what a great introduction to the family somehow she ignored that red flag and married Brody anyway the warnings were there she signed up for this so that's on her and I'm not married speaking of board games I only remember playing Monopoly once all I remember is someone getting angry grabbing the metal airplane piece and throwing it like a ninja star out of anger it missed and stuck into the wall good thing too it could have stabbed someone's eye out I don't remember who threw it but I know in my heart
that it was Braden anyway as me and Braden grew we became best friends siblings are crazy like that you spend your whole life fighting each other and then one day you're both like he was my best friend all along bradden has blossomed into a great man and I love him like a brother wait hi welcome to Bryson's cooking show today we are cooking cereal first add cereal then but Bryson what if I like pouring the milk first as I was saying first add cereal then milk and voila we've got cereal what wait wait no the
gates of hell open wide to receive thy Soul now submit thyself to unending torment no please I'm a good boy oh no B please save me [Music] M show hi I'm Bryson and I once started a grease fire in my house and believe it or not this is not the first fire that the hamoni family has endured let me start at the beginning now almost all these stories revolve around one sibling the pyromaniac of the family my oldest brother Brody now before I decimate my brother's reputation slander his name permanently and ensure that he's never
allowed within 500 ft of a lighter ever again let me just preface with this I love you broy our journey begins when Brody was 3 years old I remember it like it was yesterday except I wasn't even born yet my family was visiting our grandparents and uncles and my uncle Mark decided to have some bonding time with Brody it remains a mystery to this day what Uncle Mark was thinking but he decided to teach Brody how to use a lighter and how to lock doors two essential skills for any three-year-old obviously in one Fell Swoop
this knowledge transformed Brody from a harmless toddler to a dangerous fire hazard capable of burning the house down Brody put his knowledge to use immediately he locked himself in Grandma's room hid under the bed and started melting the wax under there the bottom of the bed began to burn and the wax started melting down under the carpet the family smelled the smoke and ran around the house looking for Brody oh my God okay it's happening everybody stay calm what's the procedure everyone what's the procedure stay calm but the door was locked when they finally got
in they saw Brody with a lighter in hand standing next to a burning bed they put the fire out quickly as Brody watched even though I wasn't there I can imagine Brody grinning to himself because born inside him at that moment was a flame that would never go out this was the beginning of a lifetime of Pyromania my parents were rightfully mad at Uncle Mark and years later they got back at him Uncle Mark's son was very young and my parents were visiting hey little guy come here I'm going to teach you how to use
a lighter no no no does your family have a pyromaniac or are you normal my main goal is to blow up the next incident happened one year later Brody was four and I remember it like it was yesterday except I was still not born yet mom was outside the house talking to a friend and Brody was inside unattended he decided that he wanted a hot dog he had seen our parents use the microwave before and thought Oh I just need to put it in the microwave hit a couple buttons and hit start so that's exactly
what he did but he unknowingly said it to over an hour a while later mom's friend noticed smoke coming out of the windows in the house Mom ran inside in a panic and found Brody with his hot dog I tried to make a hot dog but all I got was a piece of poop the hot dog was reduced to a flaming carbon crisp burnt to the very core and that's how my family house almost got burnt down by a hot dog then the next year when Brody was five he got glasses this time I remember
it clearly except I still hadn't been born yet once again he was left unattended in the kitchen bro found a lighter sat on the counter and began lighting it over and over you know for entertainment then he thought I wonder if my glasses are fireproof he slowly began to raise the lighter closer and closer to his face and the lens cracked mom what what was that noise did you break your glasses yes and that's just the tip of the iceberg or fireberg Brody and his teenage and adult life has regularly set paper towels on fire
on the counter started fires outside for no reason and put tin foil in the microwave I'm not even joking hey Brody what are you cooking uh and when Brody was six he had to be held on a leash whenever he would go out yeah he was one of those kids however even the leash could not contain his chaotic nature because somehow in one day Brody set off a car alarm an elevator alarm and an airport alarm if you haven't figured it out yet let me just spell it out for you broy was a menace to
society he's still a menace but his wife keeps him in check most of the time now all these stories were about Brody but this isn't Brody's Channel now it's time to talk about how I started a fire but at least it was an accident unlike Brody who set stuff on fire on purpose also all Brody's stories happened when I was just an unborn Soul vibing in the quantum Abyss I kind of miss it anyway on to my grease fire story at this point I had finally been born and I was about to start a family
recipe with my roommate D the chicken was defrost FR in and it was almost ready so I put some oil in a pot and set the stove on low to heat up and be ready for the chicken at least I thought I did but I accidentally put the heat on Maximum Overdrive then I got distracted talking to D and forgot all about the chicken yes after a while the room suddenly started filling with smoke I wonder what that could be we looked and saw a plume of smoke coming from the pot as I ran over
to try and fix my horrible mistake the smoke caught fire and blazed forth an eerie orange glow who yo I saw into hell in that moment and the face of Satan stared back at me then for an excruciating couple seconds I sat there Frozen wondering what to do have you heard the term fight ORF flight well there's actually a third option freeze and my brain chose freeze D saw that I was paralyzed and quickly jumped into action he grabbed a bowl and carefully covered the pot and extinguished the flame I was so embarrassed that my
big strong roommate had to save me I very gingerly helped get rid of the Smoke by opening the windows I cooled and cleaned the pot and very carefully finished the recipe M so good and tasty I also apologized profusely to D who insisted that it wasn't a big deal I honestly can't properly explain how embarrassed and ashamed I was I was just trying to to be an adult and make a meal and I almost burned my house down but I learned a valuable lesson the lesson is have a roommate who's not afraid of fire I
will be more careful in the future and hopefully next time I won't freeze to end things off I want to encourage you all to be careful and cautious when cooking because you could literally die also stay away from Brody or he will burn down your house fortunately Fire won't be an issue for me because since my fire incident I have mastered water bending and I've mastered firebending don't do this Brody don't challenge me it won't end well [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] I'm sparing you brother I'm letting you go in the name of our past
friendship but I warn you even a single step out of line will result in your permanent end [Applause] whatever this game sucks anyway you're just mad cuz you lost maybe but at least my house isn't on fire hey Bryson lay down on the ground why just do it okay I'm going to pee I'm going to pee I'm going to pee hi I'm Bryson and I've made several videos about my siblings but there's one that I've yet to to tell you about the oldest sibling my only sister Britney by the way that intros skit was a
true story she actually did that to me but to be honest looking at the whole picture Britney was The Sibling that was nicest to me growing up I mean she's 10 years older than me so it kind of makes sense why would a 15-year-old have beef with a 5-year-old she even gave me a nickname when I was born precious I would tell you what nicknames my brothers call me but I don't want to get demonetized she was the nicest to me as a kid but that's probably just because the bar was set so low by
Brody and Braden she was the only one who wasn't massively disappointed when I was born seriously my brothers wanted another sister and my parents wanted it to be a surprise when Brody and braen came in to meet me and learned I was a boy they were crushed you think I'm joking but I have proof look oh my goodness come here what do we haveen bro hi [Music] look we do you want to say hi to us he's sleeping guess what kind of baby it is it's a boy baby it's a boy just like you guys
you surprised I know he's just like you he's just like you he's a boy boy you've got a brother you want us to try for a sister buddy this isn't his sister your sister's right there I was a disappointment from day one did you see how destroyed Brody was and Braden went to say hi to Britney instead of me like excuse me I just barely entered the Earth from heaven I was expecting a warmer welcome than this look at my mom's baby announcement she sent out it's a another boy what did I do to deserve
this I'm so sorry that I inconvenienced you all so much by being born anyway let's start off with a classic family story I had just been given a new big boy bike a significant upgrade from my little fixed gear baby bike I took it to the top of the hill by our house and rode down it was so fast and exhilarating I turned into our driveway toward our parking Bay and tried breaking by pedaling backwards cuz that's how my little bike worked but this was a big boy bike pedaling backwards did nothing it was too
late I'm going to bee I'm going to bee Britney's first reaction to other people getting hurt is to laugh hysterically and try not to pee I think it's cuz she's been desensitized to pain from watching all those true crime documentaries her arms were cut off her legs were cut off her ears were cut off her tongue was cut off her nose was cut off her eyeballs were plucked out but regardless of her obsession with Murder She was very sweet to little old me and I'll always remember her taking me to Chuck-E-Cheese and playing Deal or
No Deal together I still remember our winning strategy that's the B no [Applause] deal that's the bank no deal now let's open your case you win although she wasn't always so nice to me one time when I was very young we were moving into a new house and little me wanted to wear a paint lid as a hat when the paint lid would fall I would cry Britney kept coming back to put it back on my head to comfort me but it kept falling off and I kept crying so obviously she glued the paint lid
to my head mom had to shave my head in order to get the lid off my hair was ruined this my bread and butter I can't have you messing up my bread and butter dude anyway eventually Britney started dating and she brings this guy home I was maybe seven and we were chilling on the bean bag and playing phone games when all of a sudden the guy says it's like really awkward that your little brother is here like excuse me this is my house it's really awkward that you're here chump oh I want an empty
room so that we can get to the kissing part of the night even though it's our first date That's mighty presumptuous of you forehead Britney this guy's no good for you kick him to the curb I didn't really say that but I thk it anyway she dumped him then her next boyfriend was Kyle one time he was babysitting me and I made him Watch Danny Phantom with me all day I also remember showing up at his house one time inviting myself in and playing a skateboarding game with him then he gave me a toy car
and that was enough for him to get my blessing to marry Britney anyway they're married now just like all my other older siblings Flash Forward I was in high school and Britney and Kyle were living in Mom's basement one night we heard Britney and Kyle yelling downstairs and I got a half hour lecture from my parents about how hard marriage is I mentioned it to them the following day and they said oh we were just watching a hockey game and we were excited and I was like well then I got a big lecture about nothing
during this time Britney had to stop by a car shop with me in the car she asked if I could run in and grab some stuff for her car hey Bryson I need you to go in the store and ask for blinker fluid I'm out okay do you guys have blinker fluid what fluid blinker fluid someone's pulling your leg young man blinker fluid isn't a thing what let me go ask my sister I'm going to pee I'm going to pee she pranked me but then I pranked her back by making a video about it and
monetizing it so who really won now while living together mom and Britney had a few arguments I don't even remember what the arguments were about but eventually after an argument escalated for a while it would get to the point where they would stop trying to resolve it and instead just try to deal as much emotional damage as possible and this was my favor favorite one I was chilling in Mom's room Britney came in and they started rehashing an argument from earlier that day it escalated and they yelled for a while then Britney stormed off and
as she did Mom said did I ruffle a feather you don't say that disrespectful to any of your other kids and I won't stand for it so that was fun don't worry Mom and Britney are all good now but in retrospect I would say yes Mom did indeed ruffle a feather now it's time to talk about Britney's kids my nephews Hank Brock and Jack I love my nephews they're huge improvements from The Source material anyways I take being the favorite uncle very seriously piggyback rides puzzles and stuffed animals Galore I also teach them valuable life
lessons what do we do when someone is mean to us that's right violence can you say violence VI good be resourceful about it too throw rocks bite people push them down the stairs all that good St stu okay but for real I do try to influence them positively in whatever way I can bad bad good good uncle Bryson are we getting paid for this no I'm a voice actor and voice actors get paid no no money for you you know what I'm calling my agent yeah right like you have an agent Dad what's wrong buddy
he's not paying me that's that's that's a lie he he he's he's lying he won't pay me here's a funny story for each of the boys one time I tied a laundry basket behind this little go-kart thing we had and I put Hank in it and I would drive him around the kitchen floor it was a huge hit he loved it I would also do the occasional power slide but one time I slid too hard and so that was fun to explain to Britney another time Britney was outside her house talking to a friend Brock
kept coming out tugging on her arm and asking for her attention but Britney kept telling him to wait inside and that she would talk to him when she was done now Brock is usually sweet but this brought out the sourness in him that's why we call him Sour Patch Kid you ruled the day you neglected me mother Britney finished talking and went to go inside but the door was locked Britney told Brock to unlock it but he just stared at her challenging her Authority finally Britney climbed through the window and yelled oh you'd better run
but Brock just stood his ground and stared at her defiantly as she approached as if to say I do not fear you mother I'll spare you what happened next Jack is just the cutest little sweet pee ever but when visiting I would often be holding him and but what really stuck with me was when I found him trying to eat a baby wipe I tried to take it from him but he stared at his hand and then at me holding tight to the wipe I struggled against his grip as he stared do you feel in
charge finally I used both hands to pry his hand open why did a baby have me questioning my strength I love visiting and having fun with the boys they also watch my videos and Hank has some of them memorized he can quilt them better than I can hey boys who's your favorite uncle the other uncle are yes I'm the best guy ever you know what don't flatter yourself pal I'm sick of you wishing for compliments all the time stop using me as a prop in your narcissistic online circus your whole channel is just a pathetic
thirsty attempt to fill that gaping hole in your heart but guess what no amount of Praise can fix your massive amount of insecurity external validation won't fix you have some self-awareness and go to therapy or something you worthless little psycho Hanks right why does an adult need compliments from small k j you're cringe buddy what to end this video off I thought me and Britney could reminisce together about some of our other favorite memories together please enjoy Bryson and I had very different moms growing up I had the mom who was on me if I
wanted to go anywhere it was who are you going with what time are you going to be back if you're not back by this time then this and now my brothers just can do whatever they want my mom's tired she told me she is just tired and done parenting well I never wanted to leave I just stayed home all the time yeah I've only stolen one thing in my life and I was about four or 5 years old and we went to a fabric store and there was a pumpkin with gum in it my mom
told me I couldn't have it we got back in the car and she looked at me in the rear room mirror with her piercing eyes as I was chewing bubblegum she looked at me and said Britney what are you chewing and I said gum and she goes where'd you get it and I said the store we were just at she turned that car around so quickly marched me back into the store proceeded to make me tell the cashier that I had stolen the bubble gum then we left and drove next door to the police station
where she got an officer pulled me out of the car and asked them what happens if you steal and the police officer said you go to jail and my mom turned around and looked at me and pointed and said she just stole a pack of gum from the fabric store and I thought I was going to jail needless to say that's the first and the last time that I stole anything what if the officer just arrested you on the spot it's like she's going to juvie and Mom's like wait my my lesson isn't working the
way I thought she's 5 years old so I actually did end up in jail I was a nurse in a jail one time I came home from a long 16 hour shift at the jail and I'd walk in and see Bryson sitting in the same pajamas that he's been in all day slurping down a bowl of cereal I'd look at him with disgust and ask how much money did you make today let's just say he made a lot more than I did she's not salty or anything well that was fun in conclusion Britney is my
favorite sister wait
