We are so in here! Just don't say anything to ruin it. When do I ever, man?
I'm the puller! Right. So it will take a week?
Six point four Earth days. We can't wait, can we? No.
Our planet will amaze you. You will experience true and eternal bliss. And our women will adore you.
We hope adoration does not offend you. No. Please, eat.
It looks great. Yeah. .
. um, do you have any meat? Sorry, we don’t know this word.
Meat. . .
you know, like beef. Cow? The animal?
Yeah. Why would you want a cow? To eat it.
Is this normal on Earth? You don't eat animals, do you? You mean it's not just cows?
How many animals do you eat? Well, quite a lot. But.
. but they're dead though. .
. You understand? We don't eat - we don't eat live animals.
Oh, no, no! We don't eat live animals! I see.
. . So when animals die on Earth you eat their flesh?
Sure. Yeah, yeah, that's it. But we're fine.
Honestly, it's not a big deal. Well, they're dead because we kill them though. You mean you kill them to eat them?
OK. Yeah, so when you say it like that, it sounds bad. .
. granted. But, um.
. . .
well, but. . .
You wait until they're almost dead? Almost dead! Exactly!
So how old would a cow be before you kill it to eat it? Oh. .
. Like a year. And how long would a cow live normally?
Like twenty years. How is that almost dead? If the farm's near an abattoir?
Do you eat each other? No. This guy.
. . no.
No. Only the animals. But you are animals.
Well, are we? You're a species of great ape. Yes.
Yes, we are. Hm. So apart from cows, what do you eat?
Chickens. And how old are the chickens when you kill them to eat them? We're not sure.
Forty two days. How do you know that? It's on the KFC website.
And how long would a chicken live? Don't answer that. Er, fifteen years.
Fifteen? Fifteen. Do you eat all other animals?
No. No. We don't eat the smart ones.
So you don’t eat dogs or. . .
pigs? Ah. OK.
Well, we personally don’t eat dogs. Some of your species do? Chinese.
What about whales or dolphins? Again, we don't. That's the Japenese.
And then the Canadians club seals. Including the babies. Shall we take them back to Earth?
I was thinking the same thing. Stop telling them stuff! They wanna know about us.
They don't want to know about baby seals! But we did say we'd bring them. But did we?
Let's give them another chance. Let's talk about something else. Great.
Anything. Your clothes, for example. Yes.
What is your jacket made from? Couldn't have said "cotton", no? And we're so horny, too.
Shall we try this Klingon planet?
