Cousin falsely accused me of SA. Now my family is contacting me after almost 10 years.

cousin falsely accused me of sa now my family is finally contacting me after almost 10 years I grew up in what was probably the most normal of normal households parents worked a lot but still managed to care for me and my three older sisters we were never super close as a family but but never had any issues either same goes for my extended family they always lived a few hours away but we saw each other during summer holidays or Christmas and always got along great but when we got older we naturally grew apart as everyone

had their own lives I'm 31 now in 2014 when I was 22 in attending uni I got a phone call from my mother that turned my life upside down I remember I didn't even answer it first because I was gaming with friends but she called again immediately after the first call this was an Unwritten rule in the family if you call twice like that it's important like someone died important so when she called again I excused myself and answered only to hear chaos in the other end like people were arguing but when my mom realized

I had answered it sounded like she went to another room and closed the door I just asked what was going on and I heard she was crying my memory of this conversation is a bit blurry but she basically asked me if I had something to confess to regarding e e is my cousin on my mom's side and is 7 years younger than me 15 at the time at that point I hadn't even seen e for several years I just said no and asked what this is about she just cried even harder and started accusing me

of sa and E back when we were children that e had told everything to my sister and that my sister told my mother and my aunt e had told them that back when she was nine and I 16 she'd been playing in my room when I came in and started feeling her under her clothes and kissing her my mother screamed at me to say something but I couldn't even speak it was also absurd I remember thinking it must be some bad joke the last thing I remember saying was that it's not true and that e

is is lying but then my mom goes on saying that how e gave such a detailed description of where and how then she kept asking something like did you do this did you do this and I just scream back at her no each time it all ended with my mom putting me on speaker and both my mom and dad saying that they don't want anything to do with me and never to contact them again two of my sisters texted me later that day pretty much saying that I'm disgusting and then blocked me I know it's

weird but after that call I went to have a long shower to this day I still don't know why I did that after calming down I started calling and texting everyone even e no one answered the ones who hadn't blocked my number by then quickly did so the only thing I heard back was from my father who texted me to stop contacting them and that they need to heal that was 9 years ago and I haven't spoken to anyone in my family since that day to say this [ __ ] me up is an understatement

I was living in a haze for weeks after that and hardly ate at all it didn't help that this was right before I was supposed to defend my bachelor's thesis and was already stressed out luckily my co-writer sent something was up and saved me by controlling the conversation so that I got the easy Parts without him I sure I would have failed needless to say no one came to my graduation then started the worst period of my life I spent the first year expecting the cops to knock on my door and arresting me for sexual

abuse I didn't land any jobs just living off my saved money I drank a lot and did oxy I also grew resentful and violent the only reason I didn't hurt anyone is because no one was around my neighbor called the cops on me once after I had smashed a glass but I managed to convince the officers that I had just dropped it and they went away since there were no others inside my apartment instead of sleeping I spent my nights planning how I could hurt e and make sure no one ever found out even thinking

how I could actually do the thing she'd accused me of but much worse I know I'm not proud of that I landed my first real job in my field in late 2015 only then did things start to improve I focused all my time on my job as it gave me something normal to do recovery was a slow process but I drank less and smiled more I lived cheap and earned good money so I made a point of buying myself a nice gift for my birthdays a VR headset a motorcycle LEGO Etc and last year I

moved from my shitty apartment and bought a small house it was an old dream of mine to have my own garage and a garden to care for this has boosted me even more so my life is okay now I still got problems I've been on anti-depressants for the last few years and while they help it's not in a happy way they simply remov the dark thoughts and replace them with dead ones my trust in other people is close to non-existent I've tried dating but only been on two dates with two different women it's really hard

to speak like a normal person when it comes down to it and what would I tell a potential partner when she asked about my family oh you know they accused me of a heinous crime and we're not talking anymore but I didn't do it I swear my field is very male-dominated so the only woman I really speak to is my therapist who I like a lot a few days ago I received a text from my mother it felt unreal and I was scared to open it at first so I just stared at the notification for

hours before opening it yesterday a second text followed translated they basically say hi my name it's been so long since we talked we miss you and want to know how you're doing here she writes a long text about my sisters and how my nieces and nephews are getting big I didn't even know I was an uncle know that we love you and always will love Mom and Dad the second text said hi my name we understand if you don't want to talk to us after what happened but please listen last month the subject of you

was brought up at a family gathering during this e was downplaying everything that had happened to her it got got so awkward that she finally admitted that nothing happened and that she probably just dreamt it we were all appalled by this when we last spoke we wanted to protect e and did the only thing we thought we could do we know that's not excusing how you were treated what he did was wrong and we're all angry at her we have called everyone that knew and told them the truth we all want to speak with you

and your sisters want you to meet their families please write back if you can find it and you to forgive us love Mom and Dad so yeah that's my situation right now I haven't answered but they no doubt know I've seen it truth be told I'm seething so many old shitty memories are now now stirring again I don't want to forgive them and I wouldn't trust myself to be in the same room as them right now part of me wants to call my family and unleash everything on them to guilt them with everything I went

through until they all hit their Rock Bottom then dedicate my life to make my cousins life as miserable as possible the other part wants to ignore them and continue with my okayish life with my motorcycle in my garden to keep me company I don't have any friends the only people I speak to are my co-workers but we're not really close I've called my therapist clinic but they told me she's on vacation and won't be available for weeks and I don't want anyone else than her so that leaves internet strangers so please where to go from

here do I ignore them and continue as is or do I answer and if so what to even write I'm pretty sure meeting them in person would be a bad idea for a foreseeable future but I'm not even sure how my life can improve from picking up those old threats as embarrassing at it may sound I've dreamed about the day when they apologize to be them throwing themselves to the ground and kissing my feet texting seems so anticlimactic now cousin falsely accused me of sa now my family is contacting me after almost 10 years part

two so it's been around 3 months since I last posted the previous post and a decent amount has happened some for the better and some for the worse for one e is still a huge OJ hole around a week after my family sent me the messages she also reached out with a huge apology text when I received it I couldn't believe my eyes she was talking about how she had mental problems and has been dealing with them for ages almost as an excuse as to why she did this to me she said she needed help

and her parents were helping her get it this seemed like BS to me because all my life I knew e she was a beaming radiant girl until that Dreadful Day in 2014 the whole text felt like she was just feeding me excuses to why it happened and then ending it off with the shortest actual apology my original plan was to go on with my life and try to slowly make it better and better but seeing this pushed me to my limit I had to respond and tear into her with the most vile words I could

think of in the end the actual text I ended up sending said you think your mental problems are bad try being torn away and excommunicated from your whole family for 10 years when you were just in the infant years of your adult life and see how bad those mental problems become I am still trying to deal with all of this and the last thing I need is the culprit of my misery feeding me excuses as to why it happened my other relatives may have been in the dark the whole time but you you knew the

entire time and it never dawned on you to say things sooner you're lucky I did not alive myself at this point my parents and sibling might be another story but I will never be able to forgive you for the irreversible damage you have done to me and my relationships please rot in hell and never contact me again she hasn't responded but I can see that she got the message because of read receipts maybe she took the hint to not respond the good news is that I also responded to my parents nothing crazy in text because

we really got the whole conversation out over the phone it felt weird hearing their voices again I used to relate those voices to being safe at home but after what happened it was a whole new feeling at first I hated it all the sour memories popped back into my brain from the day I last spoke to them those voices had been screaming at me for things I didn't even do the conversation lasted about 3 to 4 hours and while it was hard for me and most likely them it was the most productive conversation I've ever

had with them I thought it would be a lot of excuses just like e but to my surprise they not only apologized a million times over but told me everything they were in the wrong about they said it was weighing on them all these years and now that the truth is out they don't know how they can live with themselves the one really hard part was when I asked them why they didn't hear me out or believe their own son compared to aise they told me they struggled with it immensely but e had made it

so believable that they felt they had no choice I told them that instead of just cutting contact they should have at least tried to get me help but they gave me nothing to work with they said they knew this and that was the hardest part after the first year or two they said they wanted to contact me and try to figure things out but they ultimately decided that me being who I was would not talk to them and things would just get worse that got me heated a little bit because who cares what type of

person I am what I really am is your son and that comes first at the end we came to the conclusion that we will stay in contact I am not going over to visit them or anything but it's a start while there is still so much hatred in my heart for them I feel like things can get better and that's why I'm somewhat happy since that phone call we frequently check up on each other and conversations are slowly getting back to what they used to be maybe I'll visit them someday but I don't know when

it will be or how it will go how am I supposed to hug and say hi to the people who threw me out of their life cousin falsely accused me of sa now my family is contacting me after almost 10 years final part hey guys so I have another update on my whole situation regarding e and the sa it has been another four to 5 months since the last update and I have some better news than worse this time again to start off a lot of people were telling me to Sue or take e to

court while I agree that what she did was was unforgivable and heinous I don't feel like that will cause any good the situation has been 10 years in the making and I kind of just want to be all over and done with it taking her to court would cost me thousands in legal fees that I just can't afford and I also can't help but think of the fact that he never took it to court either I know that's not a good excuse but it's just a thought I am still in contact with my parents and

you won't believe it but I actually visited them around a week ago they also have removed contact with E and I feel like her getting the same treatment I went through is similar to being sued in terms of punishment believe me I would know visiting the parents went well I haven't seen the rest of my family as I want the process to be gradual but we met and had a nice dinner of course in my last post I said I didn't know how the greeting process would go how was I supposed to greet the people

who tore my normal life away well the greeting went better than I imagined I thought hate would win over me but I actually felt somewhat relieved when I saw them is that weird maybe it was the fact that seeing them met maybe my life was getting back to the normal it was before but I don't know I didn't hug them until after because the conversation we had was pretty grueling I didn't mean to rip into them but I felt I had to really get the point across of how much hurt they had caused me at

some point my mother cried because of the detail I went into about my darkest times they said they know they can't do anything to fix what has happened but want the future to be optimistic they even opened the idea of coming home for Christmas and seeing the rest of the family but I told them my plan about taking it slow and said I might be open to the idea while I am still conflicted that feeling of hatred is slowly going away and I am overall just feeling like a better person in general I think the

weight of the situation had pulled me down all those 10 years and now that I am free of judgment it feels good I have also started dating now and met a great girl that I am starting to slowly get serious with life is getting better who knows what will happen in the next 10 years after this but for the first time in ages I feel like things are going up for all those reading please use my story as an aidid to your personal problems and grudges things do get better even if you have to wait

10 years