when you click on videos and read articles about how to become more confident I'm gonna venture a wild guess here and say that it's because you think you want to become more confident but I'm here to tell you that becoming more confident is not actually what you likely want or even really need because confidence is something that is super easy to get and I'm gonna almost bet or guarantee that you already are quite confident and so today I'm going to talk about why confidence isn't the thing that you need or maybe even want really and
what really is the thing that you're looking for and I'm also going to talk to you about what confidence actually is if you're new to me and this is the first time you're here I am so glad you are here make sure you hit the subscribe button it's somewhere down there and maybe do it now so that you don't forget and if you're not new to me welcome back my name is Julia Kristina and I'm a master mindset coach a therapist a researcher and the creator of the breakthrough coaching program I have a master's degree
in counseling psychology and it worked to help heart center go-getter men and women breakthrough worry anxiety and self-doubt so that they can get out of their heads get into their lives and love their lives more and so what is this hold it hold deal about the confidence thing and as I said before confidence is actually something that's really easy to get because confidence is just about getting good at something so when there is a task or or some kind of thing in front of you that you haven't done before you're not familiar with and then
you start doing it and you start learning and practicing and actually just doing it you get better at it and you increase your ability and then you become confident in your ability to do something or accomplish something or get through something so really that's what confidence is so I'm gonna guess that you have a lot of things in your life that you are really confident about if you're good at something if even if you're kind of decent at something then you're probably confident about it and I want to hear in the comments section below why
something that you're confident that you can do that you have done that you've gotten good at and it's really interesting because a lot of people think is what they what they want is more confidence and I'll get to what people actually want in just a minute but I really think that this one is a really interesting one because as you can see confidence is something that's super easy to get and if we could sum it up in one little phrase confidence is wrapped up in just the belief that I can I can I can do
this I can accomplish this I can fulfill this I can manage this it's just in our belief and our ability to do something and the next thing that people typically want more than the self confidence I was just talking about and maybe not as much as the thing I'm going to talk about in just a minute but this one's really important too this one is something called self efficacy and self efficacy is just simply our belief and our ability to achieve our goals our belief in our ability to be able to handle what life has
for us even our belief in our ability to be able to handle and get through hard things and self efficacy is often based on our past experiences of being able to get through hard things and the truth is is that I am guessing that every single person who is watching this right now has a 100% success rate at getting through tough stuff and I think sometimes we forget that we don't give ourselves credit we don't recognize how we've handled things how we've dealt with things how we've gotten through things as so many of us have
been through hard things and we've gotten to the other side of that and self-efficacy is based on that it's based on that belief in ourselves to be able to do stuff and so many of us spend so much of our time worrying about things that could happen that could be difficult that could be challenging that could be uncomfortable and we spend so much time worrying right we make ourselves really uncomfortable with worry worrying about something that maybe might or could happen that would make us uncomfortable see how it works we make ourselves uncomfortable trying to
somehow prevent ourselves from maybe being uncomfortable but the truth is so many of us have self-efficacy that we can actually get through hard things we can deal with tough stuff we can get to the other side we have before and we will again so I want you right now to build and to recognize and to connect with your self-efficacy and we're going to write in the comments section below as cheesy as it might sound but I want you to do it anyways because it's gonna make a difference I can and I have done hard things
do it so we were to sum up self-efficacy in one little phrase it would just be the phrase I will and now the one that most of us think we want more of when we're looking for more confidence but what we really want a lot of the times is more of this one and this one is more self-esteem and self esteem is really about our intrinsic belief in our self-worth in our worthiness in our value as human beings that we are good enough as we are as opposed to being good enough at something and what
a lot of us are doing is we are doing things on the outside in order to get that sense of self-worth on the inside I'm gonna tell you why this doesn't work so a lot of us are people pleasing or we are trying to get everyone to like us or we are performing and perfecting and trying to get everything right and we think that if we can be successful if we can fulfill all our goals and dreams then we will feel good enough as human beings that we're essentially hustling for our worthiness and the reason
why that doesn't work is because we can't create something on the outside to fulfill something deep on the inside because what happens when we are trying to prove this out here is we do all these things and it comes in and it feels good for maybe a hot second or two we're like yay I did it or good for me or that's so awesome and then a second later it just slides right off because there's nothing for it to stick to and that's why it's not lasting that's why you might be feeling to yourself like
I've done all these things I've accomplished all these things I've been successful you know I have all this great stuff in my life why don't I feel good on the inside because we can't build something on the outside to fulfill that on the inside and yeah those things when we have that sense of self on the inside those things actually do count a lot more because we can actually connect with them and sit with them and feel proud and good about them for more than a second or two because there's something for them to stick
to because we already have that sense of self worth we're not trying to build it on the outside which like I said we can't do self esteem is about accepting ourselves as imperfect as we are and not trying to prove otherwise on the outside in order to feel good enough self-esteem and I even put this quote in my Instagram so I'll put a link to that in the description below that Goodenough is a decision it's not a destination feeling good enough as human beings isn't about getting somewhere becoming something or a compliment or accomplishing something
it has to come from the in side if we were going to sum up self esteem in one little phrase like we have with the other ones that one would be to say I am so confidence is I can self-efficacy is I will and self esteem is I am which one of these do you want to work on maybe it is that you want to work on self confidence as we've outlined it here but let me know which one of these do you really want to work on and let me know if this helped to
clear things up for you if things are made more sense I also have a free download for you it's my five favorite healthy reminders and these are things that I actually say to myself regularly when I'm feeling off or when I'm feeling disconnected for myself to help me Center myself again to help me feel just better and to kind of get my mind back in alignment and to get my mindset back on the right track my five health healthy reminders they are simple but they work wonders make sure you grab that download I'm gonna put
that in the description below if you like this video will you give it a like can I ask you to do that before you go and also if you haven't subscribed to the channel and if you think other people could use this information please do share it out and if you do share it out can you please let me know in the comments section so I can thank you that to me means so much so I want to make sure that I thank you personally for that you can also come in join my facebook group
go to me group com full of caring compassionate incredible heart centered go-getter men and women come and join us there until next time take good care
