You don't understand influence because you never become influential. Think about the difference of doing influence and being influential. People don't think real influence is really possible.
Influence doesn't live in techniques. It lives in a person [music] in people. And this is why most people fail.
Most people think they know what influence is. They think it is persuading a person, a technique of some sort, some kind of cool tactic that they write in a notebook and they memorize. We're shifting and sometimes breaking a person's reality.
And most of the time, they don't know it's us that's doing it. In 1951, a dude walked into a bank in Denmark and convinced the cashier to hand over every dollar using just his voice. He hypnotized the bank teller without a weapon uh without any threats of any kind.
And in 2014, a car dealership manager handed over a brand new SUV to a man who just calmly told him to do it. And later on in an interview, the manager said it just felt like a dream. These people aren't using scripts.
They use command of reality. But it does work. And [music] influence isn't about the words themselves.
Influence is not about the words. It's about who you are and what you are when you say those words. When you command your own reality, other people fall into sink.
And when you don't do that, they ignore you. Let's talk about perception. Perception is more important than power.
The lens that you see people through is what determines and builds your personal influence. If you've read the ops manual, you you might have understood that there are four lenses of behavior, but there are five. Lens number one is people are broken.
And in this lens, everything is some kind of pathology. And lens number two is people are different. Everything becomes a personality test or some kind of a label.
It's an ego battle. Lens three is people are facts. [music] And this is good cuz there's a lot less emotion.
You don't get pissed off about the crap people do that usually pisses you off. But in this people are data, their traits, and it's kind of [music] more cold observations. Then we get to the fourth lens and this is seeing people as reasons.
So we get good at profiling behavior and understanding people's behavior. we start seeing the fuel, the wounded part of that person behind the crazy stuff that we might be seeing. And then the lens number five is people are reflections.
Every single person that you meet mirrors you. Their screwed upness is your screwed upness. Their brilliance is also your brilliance.
And understanding these five lenses is not going to help you. Not 1% going to help you. Memorizing all of these five things is not going to change you.
They have to become your everyday operating system. It has to become your worldview. [music] And until it becomes your worldview, you will not become powerful in the way that you want to be.
This is not about influence or anything else. It's about mastering yourself is getting to that fifth level. Even the fourth level is fantastic.
Until you do that, you're still looking at humans as objects. And that's not influence. That is insecurity wearing a costume.
So, let me tell you one thing here that I sincerely see way too often. People think influence is about what you do. Even the best sales trainers in the world think this.
There are books out there that are nothing more than than what to say to people, like word for word scripts to say to people. And [music] that belief system takes five seconds to prove so wrong that it's embarrassing. And that's why it's weak.
[music] That's why it doesn't land when it should land. Influence is not something you do. It's something that you are.
It bleeds out of you without effort when it is in you. And if it's not in you, you're learning these techniques and you're just kind of a a child doing silly card tricks. This is why your world view is the real bottleneck.
It's [music] not your technique or your memory and it's not your little notebook full of cool scripted lines that you wrote down. If you don't become the person, you're [music] never going to wield the power. If I gave every salesperson in the world a million dollars and then had them all collaborate and gave them another hundred million and built the best sales script in the world that's ever [music] been built before and then I handed that script to somebody with no control over their own reality, their own body, maybe they have social anxiety.
Now that script becomes the worst script in the world. And that is instant proof that words are meaningless without owning yourself. I don't believe in gimmicks because if you knew what was truly possible, if you knew what you could do, you right now could walk into a room and do stuff like that every day.
You just don't have the self-belief or the worldview to envelop that to to be able to hold that reality. If you knew how far this could go, if you knew what you were really capable of becoming, you would stop forever. stop asking how and you start preparing your nervous system and who you are right now.
So influence is not about adjusting behavior. It is controlling reality. And this is where we get to a moment where you decide who the hell you're going to become next.
[music] I'm not asking you to spend a bunch of money or anything. I want you to understand you are capable of making this change. And if you think I've got to like I can't become confident, I've got to learn all these things to be confident.
Confidence is about stripping away. How to be confident or secrets of confidence, whatever the hell you want. like look people in the eye, have good posture, speak a certain way, have good conviction, make sure you always wear a collared shirt and all this other stuff, dress like you're going to the country club.
They're giving you what they think are symptoms of confidence, not the cause. I can't wrap you in a heating pad blanket and squirt some water in your nose and give you COVID. Those might resemble symptoms of COVID, but it doesn't give you COVID.
What's happening is we are obsessing over symptoms. That language that's great, they copy like the best sales guy in the company. he does all these sales like, "Okay, write down everything that that sales guy said.
" And then they give it to somebody else who's not that guy and the sales suck. And they're like, "Oh, we need to tweak the script norm. We need to change the script a little bit.
" It's not your work. It's you. The good news is you don't have to learn a whole bunch of You don't have to go spend a week on a mountain in Tibet somewhere on a silent retreat, which [music] would probably be cool.
You just have to remember and let go. There's things you have to remember to be confident, and there's things you just got to drop and let go of. That's all it is.
Once you get to that little mountain top, it's 10 times easier [music] than you think it is to do all of this stuff that looks like magic. It's very easy.
