Why Your Habits Never Stick - Habit Quest #1

link wants to get top grades in school so he commits to building a habit of studying and boy is he motivated and ready to go hard he starts grinding eight nine sometimes 10 hours a day but a few days in Link's motivation starts to slip so he tries using a reward system an episode of anime after every successful study session or squatting up with boys for every completed assignment but no matter how many tricks and hacks he tries he still can't build the habit of studying consistently and before you know it he's gone a whole

week without opening a single book habit Quest failed so where did link go wrong it wasn't that he lost motivation it wasn't that he didn't try hard enough the problem was his goal link was focused on getting top grades he was chasing an outcome outcomes are usually not under our control it could be doing all the right things but if the weather was off or if your friends persuade you to play one more game then you're finished a better approach would be to dig deeper and figure out what kind of person is able to get

top grades what does this character do what decisions does this character make these Halls identity based habits these are habits not based on reaching an outcome but instead around building a character the goal is not to get top grades the goal is to be become a person who studies every day if we look at any story or video game there's always an overarching quest in Star Wars Rey's Quest is to save the Galaxy from the evil Sith Harry Potter's Quest is to save the world from this guy sure they each have a quest but that

Quest doesn't decide whether or not they'll succeed what's important is their transformation their identity changes Rey becomes a Jedi Harry becomes a wizard and this new identity is the key to success think about it like this our motivation lies on a spectrum one end of the spectrum depends on external factors getting rewards like good grades or avoiding punishments like disappointing your Asian parents the other end of the spectrum depends on internal factors like your values you do it because it's who you are it's your identity we want to move away from outcomes and towards identity

on this spectrum but all of this is still considered extrinsic motivation the motivation comes from outside the Habit itself remove that motivation and you no longer want to do the Habit the old ultimate form is intrinsic motivation where you're driven by the pure joy or love for the Habit itself if you actually love to study you're able to tap into Limitless motivation and you'll become Unstoppable but let's be real if you're struggling to build a habit of studying every day then chances are you probably don't love studying all that much most people don't but that

doesn't mean that you can't be open to the idea when we build identity based habits those habits become part of our self-image so if I pride myself on being a good student even if I'm not a good student yet then I'm more likely to choose the behaviors that align with being a good student every time I choose to act like a good student like I go to class instead of sleeping in or I put my phone away when I study or exercise to keep my brain sharp those decisions reinforce my identity that I'm a good

student and over time all these small wins start to add up I start to study more regularly get better grades I start to build up all this evidence that says hey maybe I am a good student after all and this transformation moves me up the Spectrum to the point where I actually start to enjoy the habit of studying it becomes fun and you know what they always say you can't out compete someone who's just having fun but your character transformation can also happen in the reverse when you keep telling yourself things like I'm not a

morning person or I'm bad at math when you constantly repeat this story to yourself you start to believe it even if it's not true and over time you'll subconsciously do things to avoid becoming a morning person or avoid studying math so I had a high school teacher repeatedly tell me that I was a failure and that I would amount to nothing for a long time I internalized that it affected how I saw myself and I subconsciously acted in ways that would reinforce that identity it took me years to reverse the cycle and climb out of

that hole of self-defeat now I know that if I someday become a parent how important it is to watch the narratives that I feed my kids so the first step in building habits that last is not choosing an outcome get but choosing a character to become the goal is not to get a million subscribers on YouTube the goal is to become a character who consistently makes awesome videos that people want to watch the goal is not to make a million dollars the goal is to become a character who constantly builds products that solves people's problems

the goal is not to get straight A's the goal is to become a character who studies a little bit every day don't even worry about the outcomes focus on the transformation because frankly you're not going to see outcomes right away like if you've never gotten Straight A's in your entire life then you're not all of a sudden going to get straight A's tomorrow but don't even worry about it okay focus on what you can control make the right decisions every day and over time your habits will compound and transform your identity now if you don't

know what character you're trying to become here's an exercise we can do to figure that out if you've been following this channel for a while you might be familiar with the Feynman technique you can check out this video here for a detailed walkthrough on how to use Define men technique to improve your grades we can also use it to build our habits the Feynman technique will help you discover the character you wish to become based on the habits you're currently thinking about the way it works is by asking the most important question why why do

you want to build a habit of studying because I want to get top grades why do you want to get top grades because I want a strong resume why do you want a strong resume because I want to get into medical school and become a doctor why do you want to become a doctor now when you start getting into these more broad life questions you start to see extrinsic motivation creeping into your story if you want to become a doctor because your parents told you to or because you want to be rich or have the

prestige then that's chasing an outcome on the other hand if you want to become a doctor because you're genuinely curious about how the body works or you enjoy learning researching and teaching about health then you're more likely to build habits around it that stick so now I want you to take out a piece of paper or open a Notes app on your phone and write down your own answers we'll also build a free habit Quest template eventually and put it in the description when it's ready but take some time to try the exercise because once

you've found your deepest why you can extrapolate better habits for your character and begin to build your habit systems take your time with this one I've had a lot of students tell me that this single exercise has changed their life or at least revealed to them what has been missing after you're done put your answers in the comments below I'd love to read them and get to know you a little bit better