The Ones With Rachel from Season 1 | Friends

I'm sorry I'm sorry that is it you just barge in here you don't knock you have no respect for anybody's privacy no you wait this is ridiculous say one thing what what that's a relatively open weave and I can still see your nipular areas I'm sorry I'm sorry I could I could [Applause] Chandler Bing it's time to see your thing what's the matter with you I thought it was no what you were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing sorry my my thing was in there with me hey Joey what's going

on clear the tracks for the booby payback Express next stop Rachel Green Joey what the hell were you doing sorry wrong boobies hello Joey hello dear tell me don't tell me decaf cappuccino for Joey coffee black latte and a nice team I'm getting pretty good at this excellent good for me [Laughter] [Applause] oh my gosh Rachel honey my are you okay where's poo Rome jerk missed his flight and then your face exploded no okay I was at the airport getting into a cab with This Woman This blonde planet with a pocketbook starts yelling at me

something about how it was her cab first and then the next thing I know she just starts starts pulling me out by my hair you know and then blow my attack whistle thingy and and and three more cabs show up as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me and I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistles oh everybody having fun at the party are people eating my dip ra do you are you going to separate those oh god oh am I being like a total laundry span

I mean am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants have you have you never done this before well not my myself but I know other people that have okay you caught me I'm a laundry Virgin uh well don't worry I'll use the gentle cyle okay um uh basically you want to use one machine for all your Whites Whites okay a whole another machine for for your colors and and third for uh your uh uh delicates that would be your bras and your under panty things okay well what about

these are white cotton panties would they go with whites or with delicates uh that that that would be a judgment call so [Music] nice hey I have a question well uh actually not so much a question as more of a a general wondering okay okay here goes um well for a while now I've been wanting to um yes yes that's that's right little girl what top of the world looking down on creation and [Applause] [Music] all right this is just vacine it won't hurt ow ow sorry that was whacked oh this poor little Tutti is

scared to death we should find his owner oh we just put the poor little toti out in the hall during the blackout she get trampled yeah so pretty this must have cost him a fortune I can't believe he did this come on Ross remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive Crystal duck what did you just say [Applause] Crystal [Applause] duck no no no the um the love part FN oh my god oh no no no no that's good just keep rubbing your head that'll Turn Back

Time this is unbelievable I mean this is unbelievable I know this is really really huge no it's not it's small it's tiny it's petite it's we uhuh I don't think any of our lives are ever going to be the same ever again hey is there a mute button on this woman I think this is so great I mean you and Ross did you have any ideas no none I mean my first night in the city he mentioned something about asking me out but nothing ever happened so I just what what else did he say I

mean does he like want to go out with me well given that he's desperately in love with you he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something what all this time well I've got to talk to him yeah he's in China the country no no no wait this flight doesn't leave for another 45 more minutes what about the time difference from here to the airport yes you're never going to make it well I've got to try Rachel what are you going to say to him I I don't know well then maybe you shouldn't

go he's right cuz if you're just going to like break his heart that's the kind of thing that can wait yeah but if it's good news you should tell him now I don't know maybe I'll know when I see him here look all right does this help [Applause] har I I I know that I haven't worked here very long but I was wondering do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance on my salary and Advance it's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family see every year we go skiing

and Veil and normally my father pays for my ticket but I've sort of started this whole independent thing you know which is actually why I took this job Rachel Rachel sweetheart you're a terrible terrible waitress really really awful okay I I hear what you're saying I'm with you um but but I'm trying really hard and and I think I'm I'm doing better I really do does anybody need coffee yeah over here yeah I do [Music] I'll Rich for running low on resumes over here do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics well if you're

going to work for mechanics those are the ones to work for hey look you guys I'm going for anything here okay I cannot be a waitress anymore I mean it sick of the lousy tips sick of being called excuse me BR did you proof for days uh yeah why uh nothing I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuer skills oh my god oh do you think it's on all of them oh no I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a fuel oh it was just so nice to see him again you know it was it

was comfortable and it was familiar and it's just nice that's that's nice twice Rachel what what's going on I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar duh Where Have You Been yeah but it was different with him today I mean and he wasn't like orthodontist guy you know I mean we had fun is there anything wrong with that yes why I have my reasons okay how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman who just happens to be your ex- best friend all right all right all right all right

all right I know it's stupid I'll go see him this afternoon and I will just put an end to it wow wow yeah I'm not crazy right I mean it was never like that no it wasn't so nice having a little sink here finish with this sucker by the end of the week now now the one in the feather boa that's Dr Francis now she used to be a man okay oh look see now there's Raven we hate her we're glad she's dying and Marcel are you playing with Monica's shoes you no you're not supposed

to play whoa whoa Marcel did you poo in the shoe oh marel badad oh god oh oh sorry Barry little engagement gift sure you didn't register for that of the who died who died roll him over oh come on roll him over oh well we know it wasn't Dexter right Marcel because Marcel Marcel Mar how could you lose him I don't know I don't know we were watching TV and then he pooped in Monica's shoe wait he pooped in my shoe which one I don't know the left one which ones oh oh those little clunky

Amish things you think go with everything I've just never had a relationship with that kind of passion you know where where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park well it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line all right well see I mean Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course come on no he said we were holding up the people behind us and you didn't marry him because I mean do you think there are people that go through life never having that

kind of probably really but but you know I'll tell you something passion is way overrated yeah right it is uh eventually it kind of burns out but hopefully what you're left with is trust and security and uh well in the case of my ex-wife lesbian is I think Barry is seeing someone in the city oh what what would make you think that well ever since we announced the engagement he's been acting really weird and then last night night he came home smelling like Chanel really Mindy if it'll make you feel any better when Barry and

I first got engaged he went through a whole weird thing too oh God you see that's what I was afraid of what what's what you're afraid of okay okay when Barry was engaged to you he and I kind of had a little thing on the side I know I know and when he proposed to me everyone said don't do it he's just going to do to you what he did to Rachel and and now I feel so stupid Oh Mindy oh you are so stupid oh we are both so stupid what do you mean smell

familiar oh no oh I'm so sorry oh no me I am so sorry no I am sorry I'm sorry whoa I'm sorry excuse me we had this cart yeah well I had a 24-in waist you lose things come on get out of my way I'm sorry you know maybe I wasn't being clear uh this was our C hey hey hey there weren't any clothes in in it hey hey hey hey quit making up rules let's go come on this my all right listen mity if you want this cart you're going to have to take me

with it did you see that you were incredible did you see that a brand new woman L gentl thank you I could not have done this without you okay um uh more clothes in the dryer I'm sorry I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this um have a seat first of all we have been introduced I'm Monica Geller oh my God you are and you're Rachel Green yeah louisea gianetti Lincoln high I sat behind you guys in in Home Room Lisa oh my God Monica it's Louisa Louisa from Home Room yes you have no

idea who I am dude no not at all well maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me I mean wouldn't it have been so hard to say morning Louisa or nice overalls oh I'm I'm so sorry it's not so much you you were fat you had your own problems but you what a what all you know what be that as it may do you think he'd just help us out here on that mkey thing you know just for all time sake go Bobcats I could but I won't if I find that monkey he's mine

[Music] has anybody seen my engagement ring yeah it's beautiful oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God no don't don't touch that oh like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough having to give it back to him hi Barry remember me I'm the girl in The Veil that stomped on your heart in front of your entire family oh God and now I'm going to have to return the ring without the ring which makes it so much harder easy rage we'll find it won't we oh yeah yeah okay look all right when

did you have it on last doy probably right before she lost it you don't get a lot of doy these days no I had it this morning I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with Dina oh don't be mad you didn't oh I'm sorry I gave you one job oh but look how straight those noodles are now Monica you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in lasagna I just can't do it boys we're going in there's nothing to tell it's just some guy I work with come on

you're going out with the guy there's got to be something wrong with him so does he have a hump a hump and a hairpiece wait does he eat chalk just cuz I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl um okay everybody relax this is not even a date it's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex sounds like a date to me all right so I'm back in high school I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked oh then I look

down and I realized there is a phone there instead of that's right never had that all of a sudden the phone starts to ring and it turns out it's my mother which is very very weird because she never calls [Music] me hi this guy says hello I want to kill myself are you okay sweetie I just feel like someone reached down my throat grabbed my small intestine pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck cookie Carol moved her stuff out today let me get you some coffee thanks no oh no no

don't stop cleansing my aura don't just leave my aura alone okay I'll be fine all right really everyone I hope she'll be very happy no you don't no I don't to hell with her she left me and you never knew she was a lesbian no okay why does everyone keep fixating on that she didn't know how should I know sometimes I wish I was a lesbian did I say that out loud all right Ross look you're feeling a lot of pain right now you're angry you're hurting can I tell you what the answer is strip

joins come on you're single have some hormones see but I don't want to be single okay I just I just I just want to be married again and I just want a million dollars Rachel oh God Monica hi thank God I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said that you might be here and you are you are can I get you some coffee decaf okay everybody this is Rachel another leak and high Survivor this this is everybody this is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey and

you remember my brother Ross sure so you want to tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids so god well it started about a half hour before the wedding I was in this room where we were keeping all the presents and I was looking at this gravy boat this really gorgeous lamos gravy boat when all of a sudden sweet and love I realized I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry and I got really freaked out and that's when it hit me how much Barry looks

like Mr Potato Head you know I mean I always knew he looked familiar but but anyway I just had to get out of there and I started wondering why am I doing this and who am I doing this for so anyway I just didn't know where to go and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city who wasn't invited to the wedding oh I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue I need some milk okay I've got milk

here you [Laughter] go better no oh I feel so stupid Oh I think about the other day with you guys you know and I was all oh P he's so great he makes me feel so God I'm so embarrassed I'm so embarrassed I'm the one he hit on baby IED him on you if I had never met him this would have never happened to you I'm so sorry I'm sorry no I'm sorry oh wait oh what are we sorry about I don't know right he's the pig such a pig oh God he's such a pig

oh he he's like a big disgusting like a pig Pigman yes good okay Pigman oh but he was my Pigman how did I not see this oh I know because he's gorgeous and he's charming and when he looks it feel okay okay the end oh God should I not have told you no no trust me it's it's it's much better that I know H I just liked it better before it was better Rachel oh my God [Applause] I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom what are you guys doing here well we were

in the city shopping and your mom said you work here and it's true look at you in the apron you look like you're in a play God look at you you are so big I can't believe it I know I know I'm a duplex so what's going on with you well gu who my dad's making partner in his firm and while we're on the subject of news look look I have elbows hey hey you got a second sure sure come on in hello sweetheart um what you what you guys doing here uh we are here

to break up with you both of you basically we think you're a horrible human being and bad things should happen to you I'm sorry I'm sorry God I am so sorry I'm an idiot I was weak I I couldn't help myself whatever I did I only did because I love you so much uh which one of us are you talking to there bear Mindy Mindy of course Mindy it was always Mindy even when we were having sex in that chair I swear look whatever I was doing I was always thinking of you oh please during

that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup you did it twice well first time didn't really count I you know it was buried if anything else opens up pleas hello hello sorry rage where were we oh okay five card draw uh Jacks Are Better nothing wild everybody atie look rage we don't have to do this yes we do all right check check I'm in for 50 cents call I'm in I see your 50s and I raise you $5 I thought uh it was a 50 Cent limit well I just lost a

job and I'd like to raise the bed five bucks does anybody have a problem with that not at all hold it right up hey Jack look at the window there's my name hi me I remember the day I got my first paycheck there was a cave in in one of the mines and eight people were killed wow you worked in a mine I worked in a Dairy Queen why God isn't this exciting I earned this I wiped tables for it I steamed milk for it and it was totally not worth it who's F why is

he getting all my money I mean what Chandler look at that oh this is not that bad oh you're fine yeah for first job you can totally totally live on this oh yeah yeah hey by the way great service to something grape sure that would be good all right the uh the neighbors must be vacuuming well as long as we're uh here and uh not on the subject um I was thinking about uh how mad we got at each other before and um I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we um Rachel

Mary I can't I can't do it I can't marry Mindy I think I'm still in love with you we have got to start locking that door how's it going right don't stare okay she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm waving okay that is either how could you or enormous breasts here he comes uh I am uh to say goodbye okay bye-bye follow I really hate you for what you did to Rachel but I still have five of these so heated at 375 until the cheese

bubbles H way I just want to tell you and I I think I'd speak for everyone when I say hey hey hey oh how It Go um not so good he walked me to the subway and said we should do this again what you said we should do it again that's good right uh no Loosely translated we should do this again means you will never see me naked since when since always it's like dating language you know like it's not you mean it is you or you're such a nice guy means I'm going to be

dating leather wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you or or you know um I think we should see other people means I already am and everybody knows this oh yeah cushions the blow yeah it's like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep and they tell you it went off to live on some Farm that's funny that no because uh our parents actually did uh send our dog off to live on a farm uh Ross what hello The Milner Farm in Connecticut the milers they had this unbelievable farm that they

horses and then rabbits that he could Chase and it oh my God cheat ch [Music]