if you get distracted you get slapped i wish that was a service i could pay for because lately i've been really disappointed with myself i have all these goals and dreams but then i keep sabotaging myself with all these dumb distractions and i'm so sick of always feeling like i could be doing more so for 30 days i did something that changed everything but first a quick warning after watching this video you're gonna make some drastic changes in your life i cut out all temptations for 30 days and followed an insane routine of 10 daily
commitments to build monk-like discipline i slept very badly i'm scared i'm worried i'm also excited and i know i'm gonna come out being a different man starting the day with no snoozing putting the phone away meditating a cold shower no social media distraction eve from 1 to 6 p.m no cheat meals one hour of podcasts a day tell my grandma i love her that was a joke although i should work out three times a week no flippy floppy the bing bong if you know what i mean and at 9 pm wind down today was uh
very hard just felt isolated being busy all day but not getting anything done really i'm hoping things get better haven't you ever wondered what could your life look like if you actually did all the things you said you're gonna do so i asked three of my friends to join me on this challenge but this is where it gets interesting if you mess up once you have to donate three hundred dollars to something you hate i guess probably the kkk you know that let's burn it that actually hurts maybe it may be putin you you can't
fail i can't what are you donating to the worst organization of all the german tax authorities what i'm curious about is like what's your intention for doing this yourself i've just fallen off wasting my life and potential and it's just like because i'm not spending it on the things that i actually want to do it's just the lower part of myself that you know the addictive part the one that wants to distract itself and yeah just escape what are you escaping from these first few days have been really challenging and it's probably because i have
been going through a breakup it was a beautiful time and now that's transitioning out i think something that i would caution because of what you just shared is that don't let the discipline become another distraction or a way to not feel it's called compassion this is not an excuse though i think i picked the right time to test my discipline and self-control dude the first day of my challenge it's been really amazing good for him after a few days i moved in with a friend of mine and his place was on another level get it
because it's on the i felt elevated watching the sunset from my downtown apartment now when i cooked beef the steaks were even higher okay i'll stop the building even had its own gym it's like the pool area over there only attractive people and me and i was building some momentum but there was a big problem things got too easy but i wanted to prove to myself again that i can do really hard things and conquer that in a weakling so every week i added a mental toughness challenge and the first one is facing the biggest
fear of all humans which is doing nothing today i'm gonna be meditating five hours straight how's it going boys hopefully none of you messed up i've been like crazy productive because i don't have a phone i feel much more calm much more present and significantly more happier i'm feeling focused and relaxed before entering this challenge i literally had my first panic attack i woke up in the middle of the night and i felt like i was like i have a heart attack and here's the question that i gotta ask did anybody kyle what had one
of my habits was to wake up in and go to bed at the same time i have an eight-sleeve cooling mattress and has a built-in alarm system but on the weekends i had a different schedule otherwise i would have been up but so i think we gotta vote i think it's fine i think it's totally fine like that you just like didn't feel like it sounds like it was an accident pass but moving forward we weren't gonna make excuses and although i ticked off every single thing i wasn't really happy with myself yet the workouts
could have been harder the cold showers could have been longer i mean i think with all these discipline things it's like it's not about like the militant adherence to what you said even though you're beating yourself up about it a little bit leon when you just track the trajectory over a longer period of time and you can relax a little bit into your routines and into your habits so for week two i decided to take the intensity up a notch headed upstairs for a cold morning swim [Music] every day the same one tonight i'm reading
[Music] it's crazy how boring it gets long days full calendars normally if i was still in a relationship i would watch netflix and calm down and which is good too without all these distractions and temptations that not in my life i have so much more time to work because it's the only thing i can do that's fun every week i want to do another challenge last time i did five hours of meditation and this week i want to do a thousand push-ups in a day only 940 to go i have a full day of editing
with a tight deadline okay if i do a thousand i'll be busy until 8 00 pm what i do miss is just something where i can shut my brain off just a little bit of an escape i like to escape that's why i love sci-fi movies fantasy movies where you're just in a completely different world that doesn't exist as a kid growing up there was a lot of conflict there were a lot of fights in the family a lot of instability and that's when i got into reading harry potter and oftentimes you love a movie
because you identify with a character and harry has this turbulent life and then all of a sudden he gets a magic letter he gets sucked into this completely different world he can literally escape reality and there's things like friendships and adventure and a meaning to this all while all the drama was going on in my family i could just lock myself in my room and read harry potter and i could just leave everything behind and that's why part of me loves to escape but now there is no escape other than maybe work that's a thousand
what a stressful day honestly i have four hours of sleep after the thousand push-ups editing all day and i still didn't get it fully done i even cancelled a trip that i planned with my friends which i said i was gonna go to and i keep canceling cause of work today's sunday another video i gotta shoot no weekend again i'm in the zone like i haven't been in a long time the week's been going good i'll probably keep using this for at least 90 days man like i really feel like really empty i've been in
a pattern of avoidance for like a long time and some of these things are some pretty dramatic stuff i find it also curious how these simple little things that we've decided are important to us and how it can be a challenge to do them why do we put off the things that we know are best for us that's the question that got me into doing this challenge why as humans does it often feel like we're at war with ourselves this is this little nagging part of my personality that desires it to happen now you know
it's like a little kid i have that part too for me it's the one wanting to escape don't you also have a part of you that keeps you stuck for some it's the inner wimp that chickens out whenever things get challenging for others it might be the jealous part that keeps ruining every relationship or it's the inner critic and how do we actually win this battle against them i'm not sure what challenges i want to do maybe you guys have some ideas i have a suggestion which you're probably not gonna like but what if you
had to take two days off in the middle of the week no i know that's the real challenge i was gonna say the same exact thing bro what do i do like this is actually the real discipline is like taking care of yourself let me think about the reason why you can't is the reason why you must maybe the guys are right part of me is saying hey this is 30 days of discipline and taking time off that's the exact opposite what are you doing you're chickening out and then there's a part of me that's
like these guys have a point there's an internal conflict that i have the day that i've been dreading the most more than the five-hour meditation day [Music] then why do you sit in a comfortable position [Music] what am i gonna do for the rest of the day what do normal people do it wasn't easy not being productive so i made a to-do list of three things for my self-care routine and the first one is cooking something fancy which in my opinion is a waste of time [Music] we're going to cook something really fancy i think
it's great i think you need that asparagus potatoes salmon it has to be really i want to do a really good job with this oh no how's it going so far i think i have a real problem with social media i'm not gonna go on social media until four o'clock when four o'clock comes around i get on and then six ryan try hand videos later and it's like nine o'clock at night and i'm just like dude what just happened so i i set up the system where there's a time thing and i'm giving the password
to someone else so i can't i can't i will i will not be able to do it and this just what has to happen i think secondly i uh it was time for a haircut still cool yeah you're so cool dude and number three i got really creative so i asked myself what could be the most unproductive rejuvenating hobby maybe taught by somebody the exact opposite of me there was only one option painting with bob ross hey welcome back certainly glad you could join us today i go right into a small amount of the indian
yellow just make little little crisscross strokes something like that it already sucks just let it play and bounce it doesn't look like his i can't wait to see the before and after i really wanted to like it but i just want to sort of dance this around a little bit big old cloud it just sort of floats around has a good time all day i've always had this all or nothing thinking what am i doing wrong like i can't do something and not try to be really really good at it you know clouds are one
of the freest things in nature i believe just let them go it's this need to control to have a grip on things so let them have fun wherever you want them let them go without this i don't know if i would have been able to build my first e-commerce business i don't know if i could have built this youtube channel but all this also comes with a huge price and i'm starting to think that maybe i'm overpaying a little what if the real flaw wasn't that i wasn't disciplined enough i've certainly enjoyed our time together
i'd like to wish you a happy painting and god bless my friend that's really good you did the sunset well it's just the clouds need some attention have you been going probably the best of the last three weeks as far as uh how how i feel i read 13 books in this 30 day period which is like wild i'm actually a lot better than i was last week what made the difference to you kyle this week i allowed myself to feel really bad like actually seeing that part of yourself that's victimized that feels disempowered and
not just trying to bypass that part of yourself we have all these different versions of ourselves i feel like that make us who we are and they're equal parts to some degree what was your big discovery this week i don't know i think one of the fears is what if i just go for full enjoyment all the way through would i lose my ambition and my drive what would happen if you lost your ambition just i wouldn't know what's left of me for the rest of the challenge the next five days i'm not gonna be
eating anything nothing that was the last food for the next five days i think it's gonna be really challenging i have to do all these other commitments on top of that i feel like it's extra cold when you're fasted you can definitely feel the hunger setting in you want some sweet potatoes they have free hats here it's pretty sick the mac and cheese now what you doing huh cooking some beef well yeah [Music] i don't want to tell you how good it is you know what i have germany water so it's like not fun what
you got now venison good for you then [Music] i feel like there's a big hole in my stomach i think i'm halfway through the fast now i feel really weak and dizzy as always everything was ticked off without miss my productivity and focus were like night and day compared to when i started the last check-in call is supposed to be today i totally forgot oh so cheesy dude for the final checkup look who i brought in person even rappers here from australia what do you got to say yeah and with only three days left with
this final conversation everything changed and went into a direction i didn't expect i had kept all my commitments so far but i still felt like i did in the beginning like i should be doing more i think there's a common thread amongst ambitious people because their standards are so high so is that the conclusion it'll always be like this even after 30 days of cutting out every temptation and focusing all in on work it'll always be a battle against yourself where do you feel like this stems from i didn't have an answer there's a book
called no bad parts which my therapist recommended is really good this book was the answer to all this self-sabotage i had been struggling with and if it clicks for you your life will change no bad parts by dr richard schwartz explains that we naturally have multiple parts or sub-personalities almost like having multiple personality disorder you might have an achiever a rebellious one an avoidant one or maybe even a self-harming one and they all want different things which is why we're sometimes at war with ourselves it seems like i scripted this from the beginning because that's
how we kept describing it all this time part of me is saying hey this is 30 days of discipline and then there's a part of me that's like these guys have a point now here's some bad news i wanted to get rid of that part that kept holding me back the lower part of myself the you know the addictive part the one that wants to distract itself and yeah just escape but the more we try to suppress it the more it'll fight back i think this part of myself that i've suppressed is this inner child
that likes to play that likes to be silly that at some point was overpowered by the drill sergeant because it had to be done in order to be protected so they all serve an important purpose when you experience a trauma that's when a new part emerges to protect you from that trauma and that drill sergeant probably came in at some point during my life because it had to protect little leon who maybe at the time thought he wouldn't be loved he wouldn't be safe if he wasn't disciplined if he wasn't why have not done this
earlier that's the inner critic because you didn't know any better it's fine you're doing it now you're doing great [Music] man somebody's cutting onions here what's the part that you have been trying to suppress do you feel that part right now what if just for a moment you didn't shame it for existing but you just listened to that part and asked them what's your story why do you exist what do you need every part serves this purpose there are no bad parts that's the last day and with that the most productive 30 days of this
year came to an end and what i learned is this everything you hate about yourself is just a part that loves you and wants to protect you even a self-harming one just wants the physical pain to protect you from unbearable emotional pain and if you just took the time to listen to it and love it back it might become your greatest gift these 30 days were a great learning experience i encourage you to try it out for yourself and thanks so much for watching i'll see you in the next one
