when you think about DreamWorks as a movie studio a few names will get tossed around and some have truly become Smash Hits over the years and none so much so than Kung Fu Panda itself a humble story that is just about being yourself and you will accomplish your dreams but despite his positive framing if you take the perspective of the villain of the story TI long and it becomes quite funny so let me just put you in his shoes now imagine for a second that you are Ty lung quite possibly the greatest Warrior that has
ever lived in medieval China at least that you know about you are the student of Master Shifu who is in turn the student of Master ugu the guy that invented Kung Fu it's quite a Strong pedigree when you think about it and you learn everything that you could from these two masters with Shifu always whispering in your ear how great you are how perfect you are how much you're going to be the Dragon Warrior the warrior that is prophesized by ugu to bring balance to the force I mean to the valley but one day when
you arrange to meet with the tortoise himself he tells you no apparently there's a darkness in your heart and too much ambition well yes you want to be the greatest warrior ever of course there's ambition and imagine you've been told since the day you were born or since the day you could do kung fu that you you were going to be the greatest warrior ever and now you're being told no I mean there'd be a lot of anger in you you're like a 16-year-old that got given a BMW on their s 16 instead of a
Mercedes you'd be angry too so you do what any 16-year-old does in that situation you go on a cheeky little Rampage but just when you're about to take the dragon scroll Master ugu comes out and gives you the old paralysis punch and you know for a Toral he has some moves next thing you know you're locked up in a prison two Boulders hold your hands apart and a giant T toy shell an everpresent reminder of the person that imprisoned you gives you some acupuncture to withhold your abilities and all things considered it is largely uncomfortable
one day though it's been 20 years and you just kind of minding your own business when the head Rhino comes down I mean they all look the same the only one that tells him apart he has a little golden nose and he's showing off the prison to one of shifu's Messengers and you think about that's kind of sweet Shu he still cares about you he still worries about you he's still thinking about you that's nice thank you Shifu you watch him show the goose your chains saying this is completely safe there is nothing that could
possibly happen that would break you out 1,000 guards for one prisoner well maybe if they had 10,000 guards it might be a bit of a fair fight these Ranos are pretty fat off their own laziness they've kind of grown complacent and weak because you know nothing's happened in 20 years but this bumbling imbe managed to let it slip that Master ugu is going to give the dragon scroll to someone and this this makes you a bit bitter a little bit angry and then he leaves you to your own devices so you can think about that
fact and the idiocy that uguay is now committing you are the Dragon Warrior the real dragon warrior and when the feather floats down in front of you the goose well how about that a cosmic Miracle to show you that you are destined to be the Dragon Warrior why else would the feather land in front of you I mean think about the probability here it could have landed anywhere in this prison but no it landed directly in front of you where you could see it where your tail could reach it maybe after today you should consider
buying a lottery ticket but no better yet all you really need is the dragon scroll and you have your golden ticket to escape so with some careful Maneuvers and some enormous back muscles that make Sam suu jealous you break free of the tortoise shell and you feel a huge sense of relief but there's still The Boulders on your wrist and they're pretty challenging to break fre fire crossbow but they must be doing their best Stormtrooper Impressions because they cannot hit you and the only time that they do is when you forcefully push yourself into the
path of the crossbow so that way you can break free of one of your chains and when you do hand free you can break fre the other one and now and you can use their Spears and your kung fu abilities to create a platform to run up and jump onto the lift that they used to come down and tease you a little bit every now and again why they didn't decide to just cut it straight away you don't know but you're not going to complain because you can use that as a little shield from the
arrows and then use it to get to the top and by the time they do cut it you're already up there now if you didn't think you were The Greatest Warrior in all of history before freezing through this jail like you were going for a casual stroll with your nan by a lake on a crisp Summer's Day definitely put that whole thing into perspective when you think about it 1,000 rhinos with each one roughly weighing about 1,000 kg or 2,200 lb for you Freedom people you're pretty much moving 1,000 tons of weight on average without
even breaking a sweat but just as you get to the top they think they can defeat You by blowing up some stall ties and destroying the bridge why they didn't just blow up the bridge again you don't know but it seems that these rhinos are not exactly the most Forward Thinking of people instead they want to go for some dramatic explosion but with these giant chunks of rock falling you can use your kung fu abilities to jump all over them and as you're doing it you are just thinking to yourself man I am the greatest
there is no one that could possibly do this like me except for maybe some blonde guy from Middle Earth in the end you grab a bunch of those explosives which somehow took almost 7 years to explode maybe they just had them lying there for too long and the fuse got damp or something and that's why you always frequently check anything to do with emergencies fire extinguishers and everything otherwise things like like this will happen and a snow leopard will come down and throw explosives in your face but you throw it at the perfect time and
it blows up the rhinos and the door to the exit and you walk out and you talk to that silly goose of shuss and you're giving him a good old stroke boy you're going to give something a good old stroke in a minute because 20 years of your hands being tied behind your back something hasn't been strok but he's a good boy cuz without him you would never have broken free you let him live and you tell him the real dragon warrior is coming home you Ru the world for a little while making your way
to the valley of piece and you figure on the way you might as well ask some people who the Dragon Warrior is word does travel quickly for all intents and purposes and people might have a rough idea of what's going on and in your mind you're imagining all the things that he could be he could be some 8T tall ox or Buffalo or whatever maybe a lion or maybe he's an actual Dragon he could be a dragon dragon warrior I mean it makes sense right so you won't go around the villagers and you ask one
of them excuse me sir I do you know anything about the Dragon Warrior oh I want like is like a warrior we've never seen before like a Steven seagull type of warrior or a Bruce Lee kind of warrior I don't know that's all I've been told apparently he fell out of the sky on a ball of fire okay interesting that's that's crazy thank you and you continue on your journey and hoping that this Dragon Warrior is going to be a worthy Foe and Everywhere You Go everyone gives you the same story that he is a
warrior land like we've ever seen before and he fell out of the sky on a flaming bowl of fire so you figure it's better to be a bit optimistic because Frank frankly that's metal as [ __ ] and it would be nice to cut loose but just as you're Crossing some wooden bridge the furious five appear in front of you and they think that they can stop you and they have about just as much chance as a thousand rhinos in all honesty and they tried to cut the bridge but that really doesn't matter to you
because frankly you've been dodging this kind of stuff all day now so you just Leep forward and actually Tigress manages to kick you in the face but by doing that they allow you to get a footh hold on the bridge again you you know you kind of take it easy because these guys are worthless none of these guys are the Dragon Warrior you don't want to miss the opportunity to get under Shifu student skins or even Shifu himself but they let it slip that the dragon Warrior's name is po the battle will be legendary and
apparently that's the name of a worthy opponent but you're not going to complain anyway you'd run the cheeky 1v5 and it's all fun all things considered although the most impressive thing out of all of this is the [ __ ] mantis managed to hold up the entire weight of all of you together I mean you thought bugs were strong and you thought maybe he might be an an or something not a mantis then they managed to actually tie you up with some insane combo and you fig okay well it's time to get serious isn't it
no more jerking around dusting yourself off you make it to The Valley Of Peace just in time for a dramatic reveal using some lightning I mean you are the Dragon Warrior so you have to make some kind of dramatic entrance after all sheep always says before the battle of the body comes the battle of the mind and the guy who comes out to greet you is Shu himself this day is really getting better and better now you can take up all of the the 20 years of frustration that you have on this guy but this
is not the smartest idea that he's ever had because while he's been getting old you've been getting angry and it's surprising that you don't turn big and green right now and you are really bitter that he didn't give you the dragon scroll he should have fought for you man how dare he not fight for you so you get a little bit aggressive and you start a big old trauma dump on his ass like you've just gotten out of a breakup and you're now on a dating amp like this guy straight up tortured you for years
under the GU that he was going to make you the Dragon Warrior then you find ugu's staff and you're like oh the old man croaked he probably got a little bit out of breath from blowing out too many candles but this means that it's now shifu's decision to choose the Dragon Warrior but it does what do he's still denying you your destiny so what better way of poetic justice and strangling him with his master's staff and you get the upper hand and you show him what a real dragon warrior can do and just as you're
about to land the finishing blow he apologizes and that throws you off like sheu apologizing is L the most absurd thing that's happened at all of these things feather falling in front of you defying all probability and mantis holding out five people nothing compared to Shifu actually apologizing but it's too little too late you are you're frankly too angry to process that trauma and I mean no one's apologies means [ __ ] you just want the scroll that's when aing Panda shows up behind you a panda out of breath climbing the stairs and he has
the audacity to claim that he is the Dragon Warrior so great it was a warrior unlike we've seen before but it was Steven Sigel not Bruce Lee what are you going to do big guy sit on me isn't that the Steven seagull special but he actually has the scroll the panda has the scroll so you punch him easily but somehow that gets thrown back in your face he's a bit like jelly but I mean is that by accident or is that on purpose and I mean you try to fight this guy but he's constantly getting
lucky he hits you with trees sits on you while you're falling it's like he's not even taking this fight seriously he's probably going to call out get in a minute what is going on man how has it come to this that this is your life now that you want oh my God he tries to play some silly game with SS and rocks but you know you're like you're Tong so you just knock all of that stuff away in an instant and somehow he's better at fighting with Stills then his own godamn Fist and this is
the most he's actually giving you a run for your money you knock him away and you continue only to be caught up by him riding on a car of fireworks like you can imagine losing to a guy with swords or arrows maybe even a stick but what is going on how are you losing to this guy and that's when the scroll gets tossed up really high and you see him channel the force suddenly he can claim like he's in an Assassin's Creed game but again he somehow foils himself and then end up hitting you in
the face with roof tiles and then he manages to run on those tiles and get the scroll in midair like what at least when you did it these rocks were huge weighing like thousands of tons but now we're talking about tiles of 100 G that he can just walk on in the air no that's just ridiculous be kick is ass and you get your hands on the scroll and you feel the Euphoria rush over you finally you are the Dragon Warrior this is your Birthright it's finally happened you have the scroll it's empty like it's
actually empty this whole thing was a sham of ugu wasn't it some Twisted [ __ ] oh God the tortoise is actually insane it's just insane blank golden scroll what a joke no wonder he didn't want to give it to you you probably would have Set Fire to the entire world just all of that like you would have just inner peace no listening to the sounds of the universe for you I guess well screw you Steven SE girl so you tried to poke him a few times with the paralysis punch but it does nothing it
just doesn't work and he's like jelly every time you hit him you just get hit back even more this time when he fights she was like fighting a whole new thing he's actually serious for a change he's more agile more ferocious but he's still not like taking it seriously and you're unironically about to get your ass beat by a goddamn Panda one of those creatures of legend that to this point you thought was all about pacifism and eating dumplings how could you ever live that down but he throws you up using his gut as a
trampoline you fall into a huge hole how is it possible and he grabs you by the finger and you're just like oh oh no the whooshy finger hold next thing you know you're in the spirit realm well I guess that makes sense that the whooshy finger hold would send people to the spirit realm but that's okay unless you're dead now you don't have to live with the embarrassment that you got beaten by a panda that is until a door opens in front of you and you walk through and you're greeted by a comedian of all
things and she's got the staff of ugu she told you she got it from the panda and you're just thinking there is no way but that Panda's an idiot but there's no way that he would give up ugu stuff actually you know yeah maybe maybe he would he is that stupid and that naive isn't he and you're so embarrassed by having been defeated by this guy so you just tell her look man just send me back to the spirit realm you don't care anymore you don't want any more to do with this but she seems
determined to fight and of course you are happy to oblige but just as you're about to win she sucks out your kung fu abilities and tosses you into a magical cage and you Watcher she brings back all of the old kung fu Masters Of Legend at least you're not the only one that's living in embarrassment and you watches the panda comes back and you're just cringing now how could ugue have let this guy become the Dragon Warrior and not you like you knew it was a mistake but like this is the biggest mistake that's anyone
has ever had you would not have let this comedian woman do all of this and he watches he runs the ones with the comedian lady but this time something is different he's actually taking the fight a little bit seriously you're a little bit impressed actually then the lizard turns into you and shows you to yourself the Arrogant petulent little [ __ ] that you are thinking that you're deserving of everything in the world just because you have a modicum of talent and an ability to do it but then a fox comes out of nowhere and
it and the panda go to town on the comedian and between them they give it a run for its money but then when the comedian turns into the panda you almost cringe how cliche the hero has to fight against its shadow self then the panda gets trapped leaving the fox to fight for him and that's when you really get upset she's using the staff herself so she's the Panda's successor man if she gets the Finish him blo it will just be so upsetting it'd be like Cars 3 all over again and she kind of does
you know she does the damage that eventually leads to her defeat and the panda just comes in to clean up the mess and you're just like wow great and then someone must have mind controlled you or something because you go up to the panda and tell him that ug was right about him and that he is deserving to be the Dragon Warrior and then you bow to him well something went horribly wrong here even if you did except that you were a petulent little brat is still really far from your character and he actually send
you home you kind of cringed that you were nice to him but that wasn't your fault no that was because you got your power back and you were kind of drunk off of that I guess and now you're having a little bit of a post nut Clarity or something anyway thank you for watching and if you like the video please give it a like and consider subscribing for more I just want to shout out my members the talent on X lavender Yu and Allan thank you have a great day and have a great life
