remember this it's not the events of our life that Define us it's the meaning we attach to the event I believe this is one of the secret skills that happy and successful people both possess meaning drives everything so how do I know if I've attached the right meaning well you won't for a long time but what you can't ask yourself is this question and it's a powerful one the first question is what meaning did I attach to this second question is does this meaning serve me what would I need to believe about this so that
it would serve me and begin to craft that meaning fourth question you could ask yourself is what would so and so believe about this event if it happened to them and model it and then the last one what does God want me to believe about this event so that it serves me so that I can serve his kingdom and his children even better than I am currently and somewhere in those questions you'll begin to find the meanings that serve you welcome back to the show everybody this week's podcast is potentially a game altering one for
many of you if you can really understand what I'm going to cover today and spend some time really processing the information and then taking action on it you know knowledge is not power unless it's applied that's when it becomes powerful so I'm going to give you a bunch of knowledge today a bunch of information but it's your ability to apply these things that I teach every Thursday here and by the way Thursday episodes are the most downloaded episodes we put out on the podcast every month they're the ones where I'm talking directly with you and
of course on Tuesdays we do interviews that so many of you love as well Saturdays we do mashup episodes so this week's topic by the way is about meaning and how it Alters our life in every single way possible the meaning we attach to events remember this it's not the events of our life that Define us it's the meaning we attach to the event and when you learn to control meaning in your life you control your life to some extent far greater than you do if you don't have that and even as a parent or
as a leader I want you to listen today about whether or not you're correctly framing meaning to the people people that you lead in your company in your business whether you're framing I call it and and attaching the right meaning to your children for the events they're going through in their lives and then in your own life how good are you at attaching meaning I believe this is one of the secret skills that happy and successful people both possess you can become successful and produce a bunch of external results often in life and not be
happy and what we really want in life is both that's the ultimate in life is to be fulfilled to be contributing to other people to be winning but to be fulfilled in our lives meaning drives everything I want you to write this down meaning drives memory meaning drives the story in your life and the story you tell yourself you live up to so meaning in life when an event happens whether it could be childhood trauma uh a sale that you just missed um a fight you've had with somebody a failure a perceived failure anything in
life meaning drives a memory in your life and meaning drives a story and what we do as human beings is we try to live up to and be consistent with the stories we tell ourselves so I going to talk today a little bit about learning to frame things so that they serve you in your life but also if you have a family serve your children serve your spouse if you have a business serve the people in your business by learning to frame and attach the right meaning to what's going on in the world in your
life in your company remember this I'm giving you a bunch of sayings in the beginning and then we'll teach it perspective drives performance and meaning attaches memory as I've said so like for example if you had childhood trauma in your life and you still sort of working through it you can't it's not the trauma or the event that took place the divorce a form of abuse as many of you know my dad was an alcoholic uh and there what comes with an alcoholic father is certain events and moments in your life that aren't very pleasant
that aren't very pleasing and it's not those events that Define you it's the meaning you attach to those events not the event itself and so if we can learn in our lives going forward if that's true when you're a child it's true in everything in your life oh interest rates are being cut or interest rates are going up or there's Strife in the world or there's an election I I got all that the meaning you attach to these things is going to dictate everything in your life so also in life perceived worry and pressure is
all meaning you're worried about an event or something happening because of what you think it will mean to you because what you think it'll mean to you pressure comes from what it means athletes that I work with all the time many of you know I coach some of the top athletes in the world and one of the things I do when I first start working with them is I listen to them I want to understand what questions they ask themselves but I also want to listen I'm listening very closely even though they don't know it
for their meanings that they attach to different things I mean if you're over a putt to win a golf tournament and you attach the wrong meaning to that if I miss this putt what will it mean people will make fun of me I won't get sponsored you start running this crazy meaning that elevates the pressure but if you could be over that same Putt and be asking yourself the question what will it mean when I make this right that changes your physiology in fact sometimes the best thing to have happen when you're under pressure is
to realize that it's not going to mean that much one way or the other and then that reduces the pressure but in every single case meaning is truth it's your truth and then the last thing that I always look at when I visit with people coach them Mentor them is their overall worldview meaning this drives almost everything it's The Narrative of your life so if you're a victim you will find evidence to prove and be consistent with that story if the world's out to get you if you always get a bad break if you never
win if everything always doesn't go your way whatever that might be people don't believe in me people don't like me people don't trust me people don't think I'm smart people dismiss me people don't think I'm attractive whatever it might be you're right because meaning drives everything and so if you want to change your life you will change your ability to frame meaning so I want you to watch a clip because I think this is very illustrative that I've selected from the great Tom Brady arguably the greatest football player of all time some people believe the
greatest athlete of all time certainly the greatest quarterback of all time and him talking about his childhood and the framing that his parents did for him around certain events around practice around his dreams and how critical he believes now later in life the framing and meaning that his parents gave him take a listen to this I always tell this story about my parents when I had these dreams of being a professional quarterback you know or even go to college to play um my parents were there to say go for it like there was no hey
maybe you should think about you know let's have plan b or I don't know that's really hard or you know I know there's a lot of people that want to do those things and you should really try something that's you know maybe less risky you know I was all in on on that maybe that was a little bit naive but there was no plan B for me and I had parents that fully supported that so when I wanted to go to batting cages at night because I wasn't hitting the ball the way I wanted to
in baseball my dad was there rolled up his sleeves took me there you know we took batting packs for 30 minutes and we drove home and we talked the whole way home about did you see that Dad and I hit that one great and then when I wanted to go learn to be better quarterback we'd go to a football camp and he'd track down there with me and he was saying go for it son you got this you know you're going to be in and my mom God bless her you know I was like the
slowest player that ever ran at the combine like ever in history you can look it up and my mom would be like honey you're so fast you're so fast honey and I'm like Mom I'm slow it's okay no no no you're just you're trust me you're fine out there so that's just what unconditional love and support can do for you as a as a child that don't ever you know I always tell parents don't ever tell your kids they can't do something just you don't know you don't know what they can do yeah so isn't
that incredible when you hear that about not only the meaning of having his dad be present say at the batting cage orever but to go for his dreams not to say things like well everybody wants that or not everybody can do it when you start sewing that into people as a child they begin to live consistently with it they begin to settle they begin to become average and ordinary so sometimes as a parent as a leader it's the invisible things we we don't even know we're doing with our children that are attaching belief systems and
meanings in their minds that they carry with them the their entire life they're like mind viruses that were installed by our family when we were young or we are installing in our children and we don't even realize we're doing it in these subtle things we do or do not say to people I have to also tell you this we do it with ourselves by the the conclusion we reach by what an event meant I'll give you an example with my dad because I think this has something to do with many any of the blessings and
good fortune that's happened in my life I'm not an extraordinarily talented person I don't have a particularly high IQ in fact I think it's actually some cases a little bit low you know I'm a motivated person but I don't know that I'm more motivated than other people but I have been raised in a way where meaning was framed well for me and let me give you an example of this because it's been invisible to me until I was about 50 years old but my dad even though he was an alcoholic and a drinker and used
drugs as well was incredible at framing meaning for me I'll give you a great example when I would play baseball and I ended up playing at a division one college level I was fortunate that I was a pretty good player and I'd have a game I went 0 for four with two ground outs strikeout and a fly out I'm walking off that field going I failed today I failed today and what most parents would do is they get in the car and go so what happened on that curveball why'd you move your hands over like
that next time get your hands up or that's why we got to do batting practice that would be their frame and you would think well that's a valuable lesson it isn't initially because what you've done is you framed the meaning so what we always want to do in our lives is go what's this mean and then take the instructions of what we need to do next this is something probably never been taught to you before my dad didn't even know he was doing this but I'm not exaggerating this when I would tell you that he's
done this hundreds of times for me I'm walking off that field I'm not very good you know 0 for four Joey on our team had three home runs he's so much better than me whatever it is that I was thinking as a as a young man and by the way this is from Little League all the way through college and I'd get in the car and my dad would go hey so I got to tell you something I don't know if you could hear the other dads in the stands but that ground ball you hit
to short my you flew down that line you almost beat that thing out it was incredible how fast you got down the line he goes Eddie the other dads were saying I don't I don't think there's a kid faster than little Eddie mlet in the entire league they're Blown Away by how quick he got down the line it was awesome and I'd say really did go it was like a blur and all of a sudden he took this ground out that took place and he's got it framed for me where we're focusing on the thing
that I did which was bust my tail even though I knew I was going to get thrown out flew down the line my dad go you know what a lot of guys man they just jog that thing out because they know they're going to ground out not you you hustled all the way through and people notice that stuff Eddie dads were talking about it by the time we would get home I felt great about myself I took the right meanings away and then he could say by the way let's take some extra betting practice this
week see if we can't get your hands up a little bit drive through the ball so do you understand the difference the meaning of when I did the batting practice was completely different than it would have been had he not framed that event and none of it that he told me was untrue he picked apart the things that served me to believe he didn't lie because when you if you're doing that if you're telling somebody something they know isn't true about that they didn't run down the line or they weren't fast it's finding the evidence
of the good in it finding the lesson in it first be other games were you know maybe I didn't have a very good game as well but I'd make a great catch my dad would go I watched you before that guy got up Eddie I watched you move over two steps to your left you didn't because you read The Scouting Report huh you knew he he likes to pull the ball on the right center field guy they go yeah Dad I knew right he goes man but jump you got on that you did everything right
right leg back first first step back as an outfielder that step was back busted your tail the way you got up I didn't think you were going to get to it because I by the way people were saying it he can't get to it when they got shocked what a great play that was awesome way to contribute to the team that's the first thing he would do when I and it became where I got addicted to hearing my dad's meaning about what my games looked like and then it built a pattern in me where I
looked for the good meetings and things first then I made adjustments so let's just be be clear here that's everything in life you miss a sales call it's what did you do well what went well what are you going to do again what was great pull the right meaning from it and then this is a learning experience what do I need to learn to get better and then you go you're a learner you're a grower and so by the time that's done you're going to get through all the things you need to do but the
meaning served you not I suck I can't close I'm in a slump going into a sales meeting right going into that meeting you attaching this you if I don't get this sale it's going to be BL now you've changed the wrong meaning because nothing's life or death like that you've attached the wrong meaning to it now you've increased the pressure because you've attached a wrong meaning and now you don't perform to your best because the pressure is elevated but if you attach the right meaning to the meaning I may change these people's lives today this
is going to go great if it doesn't go great I'm going to get another one right there'll be other sales in my life it's not life or death I know a lots on the line but everything's going to be okay and I'm going to help these people today then you go into that meeting excited about what that means is pressure reduced worries reduced performance increases be a leader it's more than just taking the helm it's about setting the standard taking risks and plunging into life with determination for those who lead with a palpable passion and
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body movements rise to every occasion and elevate your desires the Range Rover Sport leads by example just like you discover more and build your Range Rover at Land Rover usa.com so what this needs to become for you is Habitual and intentional about attaching the right meaning what this has done for me in my life habitually is that I don't have the regression or the up and down momentum in my life that most people have because when you're somebody who doesn't learn how to attach the right meaning to an event you have an up and down
life emotionally basically the events of your life dictate your life don't they and for most people they go well of course they do it's every body lives no they don't the events of their lives don't dictate their lives but if it's all if you're at the wiim of the external things that happen if I close the sale I'll be happy if I don't I'm going to attach the wrong meaning and be sad or angry or think I'm a loser if I get this person to go out with me on a date or I get this
relationship then I'll be happy but if I don't I have to not be happy and I'm not attractive and nobody wants me or very few people want me or that person's out of my league right I hear people say these things all the time and they want wonder why they can't consistently find the emotions they want in their life because they've not learned to frame and attach meaning and by the way this isn't paana if I did something intentionally wrong on the field my old man would let me know I remember one time in college
I I got into this habit of arguing with umpires and whether it's balls and strikes or close plays at first base or if I'm stealing second and then when I wouldn't get the call I wanted it affected my body language and I remember after a game and the way he framed it was right though remember after game in college we went out to dinner my dad was being quiet I said what's up and he goes I'm kind of embarrassed I said why he goes you're so much better than how you're playing and he goes it's
not even how you're playing because I'm going to love you whether you get a hit or you don't get a hit you know that but I have to tell you it's embarrassing to watch you argue with these umpires and then after that you your shoulders are Shrugged over your over on the side of the Dugout by yourself you're throwing your bat your other teammates are distracted now cuz you're just waiting better than that way better than that and I said well it's hard it kind of you know this matters now Dad it's College my dad
goes it matters really compared to what you know you know our friend Barry Barry's got stage four chemo and every single day Barry goes in there whether that chemo works means he's going to live or die you know that little girl that's down the street don't forget about that she's got that heart issue Eddie and you imagine being a parent and having a three-year-old little girl who every day is life and death and she's fighting for her life he goes that's a big deal whether you get a hit in this game is it really that
big of a deal let's just be honest 30 years from now you're going to be okay and what it did is it changed the meaning it changed the perspective and perspective and oftentimes in life drives your performance because I had the right meaning and the right frame around it it reduced my pressure but it also still sewed into me the meaning that I was better than this that's the right thing Mother Teresa for example has this the thing that I was reading about her where and I've said this one other time on the show I
think but you know the event does matter but the meaning is everything so for me and you more than likely if we saw somebody die it would be tragic cause trauma for us we'd have nightmares about it I mean if we were physically there when somebody passed away right like say in an accident and certainly wouldn't be a good day right so this is an extreme example and I'm not saying that it should be this way all the time because there just are things that aren't good in life but even when those things happen it's
your ability to frame it correctly and learn something from it that changes it from just a disaster in your failure in any event Mother Teresa said that it was the honor of her life and what she was born to do when she was with somebody as they passed away and the way she framed it and I believe was it's the honor of my life to be with a human being as their soul goes to heaven and leaves their body and so the same exact event we would have two different meanings if I W roll to
a car accident there's someone there on their side of the road God forbid and they passed away in my arms in a horrific way and they were let's say young 30-year-old person I would say I've just witnessed the greatest tragedy of my life I can't get the visual out of my mind etc etc I'm use an extreme example for a reason you wouldn't say there's anything wrong with that I'm just telling you that exact same event Mother Teresa would say I had an honor today I was with the passing of a soul that went to
heaven and she was so focused on heaven and how Blissful it was to get there that she attached a totally different meaning to that event and of course I'm using an extreme example here just to illustrate that the emotions in her body during that moment would have been gratitude Faith prayer and comfort the emotions in my body would be completely different my experience would be different by the meaning and of course that's an extreme example my point is it illustrates if you can get good at Framing and meaning things and telling yourself the truth about
it your life is literally going to change so what you have to start to do is the way you frame meaning is the questions you ask yourself about something so what would I need to believe about this event so that it served me what did I learn from this example right what did I do well and what can I build from nothing's always completely wrong right and then from there what do I need to get better at and if you don't learn to control this part of your life this narrative these questions that you ask
yourself right you're going to have a very difficult time sustaining success because events go up and down right I'm concerned about what's going on in the world as much as anybody but I don't let myself believe it means the end of the world necessarily or the end of my life or that I'm powerless over all of those things because those are things that just don't serve me emotionally so I ask myself is there a meaning I can attach to this that serves me are there better questions I can ask myself about what's happening right now
to reframe my perspective on it I really believe that framing is everything in life like the bradies did for their son like my dad did for me like you should be doing for the people you lead your children your friends and also yourself so if there's one thing I struggle with in my health it's staying properly hydrated because I think we all have an under estimation of what real hydration is and that's why I love element see healthy hydration isn't just about drinking water it's about water and electrolytes you lose both water and sodium every
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a fantastic offer for us just go to drink element lnt.com slm myet to get a free sample pack with any purchase that's drink LM nt.com myet these statements and products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration these products are not intended to diagnose treat cure prevent any disease or condition so people ask me often times so how do I know if I've attached the right meaning well you won't for a long time but what you can't ask yourself is this question and it's a powerful one does this meaning I've attached this event
serve me and if the answer to that is I don't think it serves me it gives me pain it gives me Agony it gives me stress it gives me worry it gives me angst it makes me lose my confidence or my belief in myself the first question you ask yourself is what meaning have I attached to this because often times that's unconscious and we're oblivious and it's invisible we just go about our lives the first question is what meaning did I attach to this second question is does this meaning serve me right and if the
answer to that is no here's a powerful question believe it or not what would I need to believe about this so that it would serve me and begin to craft that meaning fourth question you could ask yourself is what would soand so believe about this event if it happened to them and model it because sometimes we think so little of ourselves because of all these years of attaching the wrong meaning that when we go to ask ourselves what would I need to believe about this we can't find the answer but immediately when we pick somebody
we admire or we look up to we immediately find the right answer isn't that interesting what would I need to believe and if that doesn't work what would so and so believe about this event and then the last one which is the most powerful one is what does God want me to believe about this event so that it serves me so that I can serve his kingdom and his children even better than I am currently and somewhere in those questions you'll begin to find the meanings that serve you you know there's a great saying going
around that several influencers say but Jamie Kern Lima says it the most which is that rejection is God's protection what a great frame and what a great meaning to attach when reject rejection happens that really this wasn't for you this wasn't meant for you and even though you want it so badly I'm protecting you by not giving you this relationship protecting you by not getting that job you wanted that sale that you had and I have to tell you when I look back in my life now 53 years into my life all the rejection that
took place was God's protection and I actually attached the meaning from that so what if you went in knowing that there's a hand on your life and that it's always guiding you and that you're in the palm of his hand and that you have the blood of the king of kings running through your DNA that you're capable of anything in your life that doesn't mean you're not going to make mistakes it doesn't mean you don't have to apologize for things but what it does mean in life is that your life believes matter and the big
one that matters is your worldview beliefs about who you are in the world and if you can begin to attach that I believe the world conforms to what you believe about yourself let me say that to you again the world conforms to what you believe about yourself and if you don't attach the right beliefs to that I am telling you're going to think it's crazy when I tell you this and I'm going to have a few of you really think I'm nuts and that's okay but I really believe you know that I'm a faith-based person
I'm a Christian I also though believe in vibration in frequency everything is energy and when you can get yourself to vibrate at the highest possible frequency and by the way the highest vibrational frequency is truth and so when you're speaking truth to yourself you're vibrating the highest possible frequency and people that are successful or are on a roll if you ever had momentum you know exactly what I'm talking about you can get to the point where you know you're vibrating so high you're a bringing things into your life left and right through what you're thinking
about and by the way if you're a successful person you have to be really careful what you think about because you think about your problems or you think about some drug or alcohol you you'll bring them into your life and you know exactly what I'm talking about well I can get in States now at 53 years old and have learned all these tactics and skills crazy things happen and I know you've all had this experience before you thought about somebody that you haven't talked to in 10 years and the next day they call you right
or they pop up on your Facebook page I have to tell you that there are runs in my life like recently where it's crazy how often I am talking about somebody and the next day they message me or the same day I had an experience last week where I was coaching somebody I brought a random name up of somebody that was in my business 25 years ago that I don't talk to anymore don't I don't have any contact with them I don't even know where they are and randomly the next day they take a picture
of themselves and send me it with another friend of mine and go hey man thinking about you out of the blue this morning I was just coaching someone yesterday and I said I think you should copy so- and so's content that person messaged me if you ever had that happen that's when you're vibrating at a high frequency and what if you believed that the world conforms to what you believe what if you actually adopted that as your meaning and what if that started to refrain your entire world and and if I'm right about that if
it bends and conforms to what you believe about yourself truly if the world gives you what you believe you think you deserve longterm not in your time in God's time maybe not in a week maybe not in a month maybe not in a year maybe not even in a decade but at some point you get the em and by the way it may show up in a package that you don't expect this person you're dreaming of being in a relationship with right it's not the person necessarily it's how you think you'll feel if you were
with someone like that it might it's not the jet that you want it's how you think the jet will make you feel it's not the house or the watch it's how you think those things will make you feel ultimately or being able to serve full-time on a mission or in your church it's the it's how you think it'll make you feel that you really want you really want is the feeling and the emotion well here's what's crazy eventually I believe God delivers that to you that's my phraseology your phraseology be the world conforms but eventually
it shows up here's what's ironic often times it'll show up in a package that you didn't visualize but it will give you the same emotion you so desired so a lot of times your dream will end up happening but not exactly the way that you saw it but it'll make you feel the way you hoped it would or even the relationship heck some of you are married to somebody right now you're so in love it's amazing but that would never have been the person you were picturing in your dreams it shows up often times in
a package that is unexpected or doesn't look or feel or seem like what you wanted but it'll make you feel like you want but if if you don't control the meaning see your obsessions become your possessions what you obsess about and think about regularly you eventually attract into your life that's why an alcoholic or a drug addict can get their drugs with no resources living on the street no money no budget no how somehow they find a way to get their drugs don't they they're alcohol have you ever been with somebody who's got an addiction
like that they fly into a city and within an hour they know where to get it because you become resourceful when you attach the right meaning and become obsessed with what you want you vibrate at a high enough frequency you draw it into your life well you can't get to that frequency or that level of clarity or that level of prayer without getting control of what the events of your life mean to you I it maybe one of if not the most important thing I've taught you is that you are if I if I'm right
okay you are not cognizant conscious of getting better at framing the events of Your World to you to your children and for your children and things are caught not taught if you're not really careful about this your children will end up having to overcome you someday and you don't want that if you don't heal your wounds if you don't start learning to attach the right meaning to your life your children catch some of this and then when they're an adult they're trying to overcome what you gave them in the mind virus and by the way
you love them too much for that and none of this is intentional you're not intending to give them these things or to frame things like or to just not frame them at all can you imagine a poor child who goes through their entire childhood and they were raised by a parent who didn't frame things correctly or maybe just framed it for them till they were like five or six years old and then started be careful not everybody can have those things well you know families like ours you know or your victim thing starts to leak
out a little bit you know that's for other people and this or that and by the way you're right you actually literally may be right but every day there's someone just like you proving you wrong not because necessarily from a factual standpoint you were wrong but because they decided to take a different meaning and a different frame to their life and overcome those facts overcome those odds and winning when you have to overcome something is a million times sweeter than when you don't you find somebody who's become wealthy who was raised with it compared to
somebody who had to earn it and comes from poverty I can tell you the person who had to earn it and comes from poverty and had to overcome they're a million times more grateful and Blissful for that part of their life you come from somebody who comes from a broken family or a broken marriage and they build a stable one they're so grateful and so in love but when someone comes from a great family and everything was cozy and comfy the whole time they're happy about it but not like the person who comes from a
broken place and so meaning is truth and I'm speaking truth to you today and I just want you to know that you're capable of changing your life and these are some of the steps required to do it when I say max out your life I mean that very seriously you were born to do something great with your life and if you get to the end of your life and what if when you pass away at the end of your life God shows you a video of your life of everything that happened the traumatic things the
winds the failures the setbacks and then during that entire video he says this is what that was supposed to mean this is what that was supposed to mean this is what that one meant don't you realize you're my child don't you realize I hold you in the palm of my hand don't you realize that rejection was protection I hid that person from you I hid is I I hid that from you so that it could protect you I didn't give you that sale because you were going to take that money and buy a car that
you could have been killed in who knows but didn't you understand this entire time I had my hand on your life that's what each of these things meant or you could decide to go through your life starting today and go I'm going to try to start attaching the meanings to things that serve me and the number one thing that you need to attach a meaning to is you who you are how special you are how amazing you are if you can attach the right meaning to your value you'll try to live up to it by
working harder you'll try to see if I think I'm the greatest baseball player in the world I don't have to argue with the Umpire I don't have to throw my bat that came CU I didn't believe in me so when you attach the meaning to you your life starts changing and the world begins to conform eventually to what you truly believe about you all right it's pretty good huh I hope you enjoyed today on many different levels and I hope that it's served you because I really do this just hoping that in the your life
in the beach of your life a speck of sand of Hope and strategy and tactics and belief and some inspiration too so that the end of your life is the Magnificent Masterpiece you've always dreamed it would be you're capable of it you're worth it you deserve it and if you really begin to attach the right meaning to your life I think you'll get it on God's T Max out [Music] n [Music]
