welcome to today's video hey you want a better life don't you if you do these are the seven different things that you need to stop doing so that you can create a better life let's dive in when you're saying yes to something like yes I'm going to create a better life you're also saying no to other things which is I'm not going to do these things anymore and so as much as you need to do new things you also need to stop doing some things you've done before in the past and that's what we're going
to cover today so let's dive into it the first thing that you really need to stop doing to create a better life is stop making so many damn excuses and stop playing the victim in your life I had a mentor and he used to always tell me excuses are like buttholes everybody has them and they all stink right they don't help you grow excuses don't help you do anything excuses are just an easy out and I used to be one of those people who was really good at playing the victim who was really good at
making excuses and the reason why we make excuses the reason why we make uh ourselves the victim is so that we don't have to take any responsibility for our lives we don't want to blame ourselves so let's see what else we can blame or who else we can blame oh it's my spouse's fault it's my children's fault it's the government's fault it's my parents fault it's not my fault that these things happened and uh I had a my first Mentor like paid Mentor that I paid when I was 19 years old had a really serious
conversation with me and it changed my life completely and I worked with them for two years we had a bunch of really great conversations but the most impactful conversation we ever had was I kept not hitting assignments every single week I kept showing up late a few minutes late to our calls I kept giving him excuses I kept telling him how I was the victim of my life all of these things and he had this conversation with me and he said I got a question for you if a business succeeds and all 1,000 people in
that business are just moved into One Direction and The Business creates the thing that it's supposed to create and it does what it's supposed to do whose fault is that for getting all of the people to move in that direction I was like that's probably the the CEO's fault he's like okay and if a business fails whose fault is that I said that's the CEO's fault he said okay so if you get to the end of your life and you have everything you've ever wanted all of the money the happiness the love the family the
Legacy whose fault would that be I was like I guess that would be my fault he goes okay but if you get to the end of your life and you don't have what you wanted you didn't create the life that you want you didn't have the money the happiness the love the Legacy and you regret what you did whose fault would that be and I was like that would be my fault and he goes the problem with you Rob is that you need to grow up you're still acting like a child and what you need
to do is you need to realize that you need to be the CEO of your life if you get to the end of your life and it's not what you wanted it to be it is your fault and nobody else's fault if you get to the end of your life and it is everything that you want it to be and it is a home run it is your fault you need to be the CEO of your life that was the moment when I decided to stop making excuses I stopped you know being a victim too
many people people play the victim and they like to blame their circumstance they like to blame other people I did that for years and guess what it got me nowhere cuz there was no responsibility on me and so we like to remove our responsibility and say oh it's somebody else's fault and so you have to learn to take ownership for your life and this empowers you to create the change when it is your fault in a good way it means that you are the one that's in the driver's seat excuses only help you reinforce your
helplessness and so when you look at a situation ask yourself what can I control in the situation and then do something that is within your reach so that's the first thing stop making excuses stop playing the victim that's number one number two stop complaining instead of complaining to somebody else look for Solutions complaining and sitting there and taking time to complain about something requires energy you have to use energy for that but finding a solution to a problem instead of complaining about a problem also requires energy the difference is compling is just a waste of
your energy it doesn't lead to any change instead you want to look at the problem and say how can I find solutions for this problem one recommendation that I'll give you is is something we we use in my company where if somebody instead of coming to a manager in their company and you know someone comes to one of the managers in my company and says hey I've got a problem what they do is they use this thing called the 131 method we've been using this for years and it works so well do it for yourself
in your own life whenever there's one problem what you want to do is come up with three possible solutions so you come up with that one problem the problem is this here's the three possible solutions and this is the one that I like the most 131 one problem three possible solutions the one solution I like the most and you take action on that one and what happens is when someone of our company comes with the 131 they're basically coming to the manager saying here's the problem I've already designed the solution I just need to you
to say okay that I can go with the solution and it empowers that person but it also empowers you when you find a problem start looking for Solutions when you find a problem start going how can I overcome this problem how can I change this problem and so what you do is when you start to find yourself complaining which we all do you know you catch yourself in the moment you're complaining about something redirect that energy for actually finding practical steps forward because really that's the only thing that's going to move the needle in your
life so that's number two number two stop complaining hey real quick I want to introduce you to something called mindset Mentor plus if you love this podcast you will absolutely love what I'm about to talk about I designed mindset Mentor plus to help you actively integrate every one of these episodes into your life and here's how it works with every episode of this podcast that comes out mindset Mentor plus subscribers get more you're going to get multiple page detailed printable worksheets effectively a mini master class that's way more in depth than just this podcast they
also come with journaling questions challenges assignments and so much more so that you're not just listening to these podcast passively but you're actively integrating them into your life that way you improve much faster I also do monthly Q&A sessions in there and much much more if you want to learn more about it go to mindset mentor.com or click the link that's down in the description number three this is a big one and I just did an episode on this fear a little while ago but stop being afraid of failure failure is 100% your greatest teacher
it provides you lessons that success never will the Creator of Honda he has a famous quote that says success is 99% failure most people try to avoid failure because it then usually reflects back to them their greatest insecurities and greatest fears of I'm not good enough I'm not smart enough I'll never amount to nothing whatever it is I won't make any money I won't be able to drive my family that failure quote unquote failure reflects their insecurity that we just covered with them fear is something that you need to overcome failure is your greatest teacher
if you're going to do something that you've never done before if you're going to get out of your comfort zone avoiding failure is impossible you have to learn to embrace failure and go okay I need to fail fast I need to fail as much as possible because those failures show me what's not going to work so that I can then find out what does work avoiding failure or trying to avoid failure I guess you could say keeps you in your comfort zone if you want to be successful whatever success means to you successful people want
to fail quickly in business in money in relationships sales people want to you know get the objection as fast as possible so they can try to overcome it whatever it might be because what you want to do is you want to find these parts where you fail because it reveals what doesn't work and then you can start to figure out what does work I like to think about life as Sports as well like if you look at a sport how ridiculous would it be for you to go I want to play basketball but I never
want to miss a shot like missing shots is inevitable it's just part of playing the game but every time that you miss it gives you an idea of how to aim better the next time if you look at baseball if you strike out 70% of the time in baseball you're a freaking Allstar you're one of the best that plays the game so why fear failure or messing up or falling on your face when it's all part of the game so you've got to fail quickly so that you can figure out faster how to refine your
approach what you need to do to change so that therefore you can create whatever is you need to create and so really what it comes down to is you've got to start embracing the fear of failure and just realize hey this is part of it this is how it's going to be I've got to understand that nothing is going to change in my life until I change it and as I start to change things and do things I've never done before yeah I'm going to up that's the way it goes you're not perfect there's no
such thing is perfect and so you've got to look at it as just another lesson okay I messed up what can I learn from this that's number three number four is stop procrastinating so much stop putting things off you've just got to learn one of the things that that is is super super important is you've got to learn to make a decision and go the longer that you wait the more you're going to overthink and then the harder it becomes to start you ever done that you made a decision you're like okay I'm going to
do this thing and then you sit around for a few minutes and you think about it and the more you think about it the worse it becomes in your mind the the scarier it becomes the the more that you start to think about the failures or what could possibly come one of my favorite phrases in the way I run my business the way I've run my life for a really long time is the phrase ready fire aim you know now if you're going out and you're thinking about okay you go and shoot guns it's ready
aim fire right ready okay now you aim and then you fire life is more of like ready fire aim get ready take action mess things up as much you possibly can miss the Target and then you start to aim and go okay what works what does and so it's really about instead of procrastinating and trying to do it perfect trying to make sure you do it right the first time it's kind of goes back to what we were talking about a minute ago mess up as fast as you possibly can you know ready fire aim
is way better than Ready Aim aim aim aim and just think about all the time like you just got to take action just adjust as you go if you're the type of person who's an overthinker or an over planner those things absolutely kill your momentum all you have to do is just start small whatever it is you need to do just start small in some sort of if you're planning and planning and planning and planning and planning and thinking and thinking and thinking thinking and thinking all of those are just a waste of energy planning
is good thinking is good doing too much of it is just holding you in a pattern of doing nothing so that therefore you don't have to put yourself out there and potentially fail or whatever else might be out there so start small take some sort of action I don't really care what it is usually when you look at procrastination procrastination is rooted in some sort of fear so what's that fear that you're afraid of I'm procrastinating I'm not doing the thing I'm supposed to be doing why what am I afraid of ask yourself that question
what am I afraid of well I'm afraid of failure I'm afraid of judgment I'm afraid of what my mom might say to me I'm afraid of what my husband might say I'm afraid of the unknown I'm afraid of change you figure out what it is that you're afraid of because there's some sort of fear that's behind procrastination but action is the only antidote you've got to take action as you start moving and getting momentum on your side it becomes so much easier like even like if you think about like super simple things like if you
think about you have a lot of laundry and you think about oh my god I've got so much laundry to do today I've got to do so much laundry there's so much laundry and you just think about it it seems like it's such a such a huge mountain to climb all the laundry right but then you start you do like a little bit you start doing and and start moving a little bit in the right direction you get a little bit momentum a lot of times you get to the point where you're just like I'm
just going to finish this and it becomes easier once you start the hardest part is thinking about starting not actually starting and so break your tasks your to-do listen to manageable tasks to make your life easier it's just manageable chunks and then take the first step it doesn't need to be perfect it just has to be taken so that's number four number five stop being so damn hard on yourself you're a human you're going to mess up you're going to mess up a lot you're not perfect and I want want you to start getting better
at self-compassion really understanding like this is one of the biggest keys to happiness is learning to let things go to stop shaming yourself to stop guilting yourself stop dwelling on mistakes because those dwelling on mistakes it just keeps you trapped in the past you're not going in the past you're going into the future and you're always doing the best that you can in every single moment based off of what you knew at that time so don't get mad at yourself for something that you did 5 years ago or should I say don't continue to be
mad at yourself for something that you did 5 years ago you did it you might have screwed up learned from it don't let it Define you do better next time let it go because when you sit there and you're being so hard on yourself and you're starting to think about what you did wrong it has nothing to do with your future so like just get better at just letting things go stop being so hard on yourself have more self-compassion have more self- Lov have more self-acceptance I've done many episodes on that you can go back
and listen to the the self- Lov and self-acceptance episodes because I think many many people in this world need it so that's number five number six stop giving up on yourself you need to want to succeed for yourself not for anyone else's approval not to get validation not to get some sort of achievement or award you need to want to succeed for yourself and you have given up like think about how many things in your life you've given up on like giving up becomes a habit giving up becomes a habit so stop stopping stop giving
up on yourself how many times you said you're going to lose those 10 pounds and then you work out for a week and you stop so stop stopping another thing to stop doing that has to do with this as well like stop putting other people's needs in front of your own you can't pour from an empty cup you need to take care of yourself before you just immediately go and try to take care of others your mental health and your physical health are the two most important things in your life because the better that your
mental health and your physical health are the better that you take care of your children the better spouse you are the better person you are the better that you impact the world every everything you deserve to follow through on the things that matter to you whether it's your business whether it's your Fitness whether it's your love life whether it's your personal goals you deserve to stop stopping stop giving up on yourself so just learn to keep going you know what I'm going to do this for myself and it's okay that I do this for myself
every little bit of progress that you make builds a foundation for future success so like how can I just get a little bit more progress so that's number six is stop giving up on yourself you deserve more which then goes into number seven which is stop settling for okay so many people just settle life because things are okay they have relationships that are just okay they have a job that is just okay they their finances are just okay their happiness is just okay okay that doesn't sound exciting like would your would your young childhood self
if they came in and saw your life now be like this is amazing or they'd be like this isn't inspiring at all right you get one shot at this life why waste it selling for less than you deserve you know I if no one has ever told you this I'm going to tell you you were meant for more I don't know where you are right now but you were meant for more what is that more get out of your comfort zone because Comfort zones are where your dreams go to die push beyond what is okay
and start finding stuff that's truly fulfilling for you settling happens when we're afraid to ask for more so either you think you don't deserve more or you know and that might be in your relationships or your career or your personal growth or your love life you feel like you don't deserve more or you are afraid to expect more because you're like oh what if I get let down stop settling for okay start realizing that you can go out there and create something that is really amazing A Life That's amazing a friendship that's amazing a love
life that's amazing a a parent child relationship that's am amazing a business that's amazing everything can be amazing you just have to go out and create it so stop just settling for like ah life is all right I like to call you know there's a lot of times I get on on phone calls with people who are trying to change their life and make something amazing of it and sometimes I hop on phone calls of people who are making decent money like they make a $150 $200,000 a year and it's really hard for them to
make a change because they're what I call quote unquote fat and happy right I'm not talking about physically fat I'm just talking about fat and happy they've kind of just uh you know what I'm going to plump down on the couch of you know life and I'm just going to be okay like you know I'm 45 years old things are fine I want more but yeah it's it's okay and so they're just settling for okay and so greatness requires discomfort make yourself uncomfortable you know the the road to creating an extraordinary Life starts with wanting
more and thinking bigger knowing that you deserve more knowing that you can create more KN that you can create more for yourself for your family for the people that that are around you knowing that you can experience more you can travel the world you can buy more cool you can impact more people's lives all of those things come down to the life that you're creating so stop settling for okay and so this is really what it comes down to if you want create a better life these are the things that you need to stop doing
so that's what I got for you for today's episode if you love this episode please share it on Instagram stories tag me at Rob dial Jr r o b d i a l Jr also if you love this podcast you'll 100% love something that we have called mindset Mentor plus it is like the podcast but on steroids for every single episode that comes out of the mindset Mentor podcast mindset Mentor plus listeners and subscribers get a whole lot more they get detailed worksheets they go deeper into every single topic with journaling questions with with uh
assignments with an entire community of over a thousand people you can connect with with mult multiple uh Q&A sessions that we do with me so if you want to learn more about it uh go ahead and go to mindset mentor.com best part about it it is way less than a dollar a day for you to join us so if you want to learn more once again go to mindset mentor.com there's a video that explains everything there and with that I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode make it your
mission to make somebody else's day better I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day but
