welcome to your first day of being an adult I'm your tour guide Jeremy and I'll be showing you guys the ropes so if y'all been having fun has life been one big joke after another so far yeah life is great life's been pretty funny up until this point yeah great great not anymore okay now I still noticed a few happy faces in the room so either wipe those off or I will cut them off myself Hey sir I still really like to like fool around and whatnot is there a way I can keep doing that
yeah you're actually going to want to head down that way where it says College okay yeah just keep in mind that that's gonna set you back about four more years and there's a 50 50 shot it ruins you financially still want to go yeah I don't want to do anything hard for a while all right go have fun again now before we get started with the tour does anyone have their mom's credit card on them I do yeah yeah same over here all right don't need those we're gonna have to make our own money from
now on all right now does anyone know what money is Beats me sounds familiar though doesn't it it's gonna be what you need to live which brings me to our first part of the tour a job Follow Me This Way gentlemen oh wait you didn't say anything about a job uh yeah yeah I don't think I want to do this anymore this is literally the first stop we have many more places to go after this yeah I don't I think I'm just gonna head back that way I'll see you guys in four years well guess
we just got you this year you ready yeah let's do it and this is what we like to call prison I'm in the office cool so what goes on here everything your whole life this is what everything you've ever done up until now has amounted to oh no yeah just make sure you leave your free will sense of humor and dreams at the door before you walk in okay uh no dreams though no no we don't mess around with those just ask Phil he'll tell you yeah that's about what you can expect your dreams to
look like is he dead I don't know so anyways believe it or not this is actually where you want to be I do yes but just starting out you're more than likely going to be working over there first oh yeah that looks a lot more terrible doesn't it very much so and going purely based on looks that's probably more of your speed anyways don't mean you look the exact same though no idea what you're talking about anyways you're gonna need to work this job in order to put a roof over your head support a family
and somewhat enjoy your mediocre life alright so like what would happen then if I just stopped doing this well then you'll be homeless your family will die a horrifying death and your life will quickly go to before also dying a horrifying death does it have to be horrifying yeah okay good well this all sounds pretty terrible so far it is so where does happiness play in all this never heard of it anyways as you'll see in our next section you'll be thanking God that you even have a job follow me this way okay bills bills
yes you're gonna be hearing that word a lot now Now can anyone tell me what bills are I'm the only one here oh so can you tell me what bills are is this it no bills are things oh okay bills are gonna be anything that costs money to live in moderation so rent Insurance food and like 7 500 other things wow those sound like they can get out of hand pretty quick they often do so as an adult you'll have to pay these off every month and if you fail to do so you will probably
die a horrifying death uh no I was just gonna say get a credit card and figure that out later oh but you will die horrifyingly somewhere down the line I can assure you that oh sweet no that's not a good thing oh darn so that whole dream thing I mentioned earlier is this the main reason why that won't be happening one of them yes just ask Phil he'll tell you are you sure he's not dead he's probably just resting anyways as you'll see at our next stop bills have this unique tendency to only go up
come with me sweet family the best and sometimes the worst thing never happened to you cool so is that my family over there no uh this whole tour has been a visual representation so far you're gonna need to build your own family oh like Minecraft no not like Minecraft okay you know what we're getting off topic here so one day when you find the right woman you'll get married and from there you'll have kids shortly after that okay that sounds pretty nice so what's the bad news then the bad news is your wife could leave
you at any point and kids cost a fortune so do whatever you want with that information wow so our dream's not allowed here either oh God no you see that door right there yeah your dreams are gonna be somewhere through that we'll have time to just go achieve like a couple dreams and then just come right back or no excuse me yeah your family's not gonna like that too much just ask Phil he'll tell you he's looking pretty dead now are you sure he's not dead probably just unconscious but yeah if you leave your family
to go find yourself there will be no family to come back to dang well at least this place is really nice I'm really looking forward to living here yeah again none of this is yours in fact you won't be able to afford a place anything like this for decades down the road now if you walk with me this way we can hit the final stop of the tour which I have a strong feeling you will thoroughly not enjoy cool why are we in a hospital because you're going to be here a lot quite frankly oh
sweet am I going to be like a doctor or something no we already went over this you're doing construction your entire life oh yeah so as you get older your Health's going to decline rapidly and you'll want to come here a lot if you want to keep living what if I don't want to keep living then don't you know just let that decline who cares okay but I suggest you take care of yourself otherwise those bills we talked about are going to get a lot higher just ask Phil he'll tell you oh looks like he
was dead this whole time who knew actually I mentioned it to you several times earlier and you did a really bad nonsense so one last thing I did want to mention before we end the tour your friends and family they're also going to start dying too wait what's up yeah anyone you've ever known loved or cared about your entire life are going to die and you'll get front row seats so I do like frontrow seats to things but in this case not so much that would be correct but hey we all got to do it
and someday when you have kids they'll get to watch you die and it's this long beautiful depressing Circle we call life right right so I'm gonna be honest here I don't really like any of this and I don't really think I want to be here like at all now and that my friend is the essence of adulthood so you ready to go get that job and you went to college
