eight ways you can drive your narcissist crazy the fact is that it often happens that we have to communicate with people who have some kind of narcissistic traits or are they just people of such a narcissistic warehouse and this is such a person He constantly tries to be like you - something to knock out of such an emotional balance and in this video I will talk about eight steps that you should take so that you can drive the narcissist crazy, so to speak, who is trying to drive him crazy, that is, how you can do it so that you can not just mirror narcissists turn that the same person and how can you effectively interact with him so that all his attempts to somehow destabilize you lead to the fact that he himself destabilized as a result My name is Evgeny Moiseev psychiatrist psychotherapist Today we are talking about how to actively resist a narcissist if this the topic is interesting to you Like subscribe to my channel Share this video on your social networks so that your friends can watch it and we start the first important thing - This is what you need not to react to his some toxic ones, these communications you just need to adequately remember that everything he says to you does not concern you, it concerns him, you need to learn how to perceive him as if in some kind of cocoon of his own delusions, his own sayings so that, roughly speaking, you do not break through his statements so that his statement does not taken to heart roughly speaking, if a person tells you that something is devaluing that you are not very good at work, look at you for a long time they don’t get a promotion or he says something there You go to the gym But somehow you don’t like it at all you can see some results, well, just zero, you need to understand that what he says does not concern you because he is a narcissist and he is like a narcissist, well, it’s normal for a narcissist, he uses depreciation to put you in such a subordinate position in relation to to himself, that is, what he is now saying is his way of interacting with you. It has absolutely nothing to do with what he is talking about what he is talking about you, so you just need to understand. let's go further or suppose let's say a man a narcissist begins to use it in order to emotionally bind a woman tells her some compliments such direct over-seroplements that she is the best herself and generally the most beautiful of all and so on something he says so you are doing well like this as if anti-bioassessment, too, you understand about this side Well, right from where else was he to be expected as they are from here everything is all expected everything I hear it doesn’t concern me at all this I understand that now he just says so Well he uses these tools the second important thing This is what you need draw such a speculative line in your head and watch for when he starts, as it were, to cross.
The fact is that now you know, people are watching some psychological videos there and they say that you need to set clear personal boundaries and it’s impossible to keep them with a narcissist personal boundaries, but this is a fact. That is, you need to draw this line and not hold it, wait for him to start crossing it, as soon as he starts to cross it, you need to not notice at this moment that you don’t like it and say it very clearly and say about it. that it doesn’t suit you, roughly speaking, if you are with such a person at all, he starts to raise his tone and starts, in fact, yelling at you to tell you oh Listen, you are now yelling at me from this moment from the moment you just started yelling at me further we won’t talk with you , this conversation doesn’t suit me anymore, this conversation, until that moment, it somehow suited my some kind of expectation and it seemed to me that for some reason I would need it now I don’t need it anymore or suppose there he starts to devalue you somehow or starts to somehow say that you know that Yes, I’m not screaming, you look at yourself, it’s your nerves that are shattered You’re just not yourself, it’s all mental I'm everything I hear everything you say, but this And you all remember that here is your red line, it's past, it's like this that you don’t want to just hear it and Say it’s not.
From now on this conversation no longer makes sense and I’m getting out of this conversation, that is, the second important thing. You need to keep this third important thing. This is what you need.
this is your decision. to provide some actions so that it cannot be turned back, so to speak, because it happens so, let's say, let's say again, let a woman in for example, a woman is talking to a narcissist man A man starts yelling at her She says I don't want to talk to you in that tone says Yes Well, what are you going to do? It means that she folds her arms on her chest, falls silent, sits and it seems like I’m not talking to you, but in fact he is physically next to him and he just doesn’t pour all his gates into her there everything.
What he wants all of his there is just It's called Choose whatever instrument you want Depreciation Scream Some resentment Manipulation Well, and so on Here she sits and endures Thinking But I don't talk to him No The third step you need to somehow fix with your actions This is your decision to get out of destructive interaction in this case of a conversation you need to get up to leave you need to I don't know hang up you need to just say so move your body somewhere where due to this physical action of your movement you will show safety because just such a declaration it does not work the fourth thing This is for you it is very important to have a clear plan in fact about what you are going to communicate with this process, let’s say it’s your mother, such a narcissistic who constantly manipulates you there with the help of guilt or there triangulation that, but you rarely come to me, and your sister constantly spends here with me time you know a bad daughter she is a good daughter you need to understand why you communicate with a narcissist, that is, well, it often happens that well, it is necessary, suppose you think Well, I decided what to do with my mother twice a week I need to come to her there 2 hours of time to spend there or an hour of time, that’s it, you have a plan and you understand that I’m coming, I’m ready that for an hour I’ll listen, maybe some unpleasant things. Perhaps there won’t be something so unpleasant. But now I’m spending and then, that is, in that time when I need to somehow be mobilized somehow To be in such protection then I shoot about love in any scenario at all and leave and all this is what I planned or suppose a woman wants to tell her ex-husband that I am there I’m going to go for the weekend where you don’t need to take the children with you and now you understand what you need to say about this and that there are two options Well, the first option is that he will say yes, come on the second What is not Don’t let him and then this and the second the message can speak with the fact that what kind of mother is such that you leave the children Let's take the children or what kind of mother are you such that you leave the children you are a bad mother I will not take the children but be that as it may, it is important for you to know what your conversation plan is What are the options What will you do in this or that situation, that is, yes, yes, no, I have some other fallback options, because the worst thing that can be is when you start to know to enter into a singing debate, because in such a situation you are pursuing your goal to agree and the narcissist aims to get from you on a statistical resource the more you agree with him but at the same time So you don’t agree the more he gets from this the feeling that you are asking him for something and he now controls you thing this thing which is very important and important to understand.
Therefore, somehow concentrate with a narcissist, you need to be sincere and open, this is true. The fact is that often people think that a narcissist needs to be mirrored . you will also behave like a beast with him as a result, you will both behave like a beast you will be in a bestial relationship where he will be in his field you will be in a situation where you will harm yourself and you will be harmed by him it is very important to be sincere and open But of course, within some kind of safe framework, that is, it is important not to talk about the information surrounding people, including the narcissist, that information that can be used to harm you, it is important not to say some things that you think are not safe about this to speak, but at the same time, it is very important that you say very clear messages about what you want from him.
Well, roughly speaking, if you take the previous examples, if a woman comes to her ex-husband and says, you know, I wanted to know how you feel about the fact that to go to the fair next next weekend there, maybe you would like to go there, it’s not bad at all, she starts, as it were, from around the corner to come in from somewhere so that, as it were, if you go, maybe I’ll give you children there vsunu and so on That is, some kind of game begins in which you will definitely be outplayed, therefore it is very important to draw boundaries with borderline people if you need a man to take the children for the weekend you need to tell me you need to take two children for the weekend for two days from 8 in the morning until seven in the evening there, it means the second day is possible or impossible Agree disagree and then you will get as close as possible to an understandable answer everything they want to do The sixth rule is important for you to learn to ignore the tools of the narcissist with which he leads you to such destructive emotions, so if you have to communicate with someone there, narcissistic parents, but unfortunately it happens that this happens to someone of the employees of some I don’t know the boss can be a partner of a whale of a friend, anyone here you Chat with such a person and then you go and you need to investigate what is happening to you What is happening to your emotional background It happens that you are angry after that it happens that you are some kind of annoyed it happens that there breaks down on other people it happens so that you communicate with such a person then you feel like that with some kind of depression such as a crushed little insignificant it takes a few days to recover it happens well how any negative emotions can be remember as a result of what discussions as a result of what communication these emotions rebelled to arise And you need to study it and be prepared that as soon as you hear that a narcissist is offering something, he tells you something, he indicates something, he advises something, etc. , you just ignore it because here you know how you should treat it happens that such spam comes some kind of such a funny type for only two dollars there You can buy a car you are lucky because your date of birth somehow coincided there You just won How will you feel about it Well, most likely, if you are over 6 years old, you will understand that this is a scam and you just block this spam, you also need to treat these kind of messages from people with whom you are in a relationship, of course, if these are parents, if this is a partner with whom you have a long-term relationship, it may be difficult right away, so not to take this seriously, but for this we are discussing what you need to pay attention to and you need to ignore these messages, remembering that these messages in the past led the class to such a destructive emotional state yet two important tricks that you can use, you can develop them are the ability to look through and the ability to tell a person back what you see what he is doing to you now, of course the trick here is that you do not have to convince a narcissist to look even a narcissist because you do not it will turn out his psychological defenses that help him not to notice what kind of person he is and you will fight In general, this is impossible, you won’t succeed, you just need to see a person if you understand that he is now behaving destructively towards you, try looking into his eyes as if Look at the wall that is behind him, that is, it is important for you to look through him so that you can, in such a situation, combine, as it were, a look in the direction towards the person and the situation. When you are not looking at him, that is, in general, by itself.
this is such a circumstance when you need to communicate with a person who has narcissistic traits who will destroy you, but you need to communicate with him. I would look at you but I'm not you on VKontakte that can destroy me And the next step is exposure. That is, you need to tell the person that I see that now, for example, you are devaluing me .
