Why You Talk the Way You Do – and What It Says About You

this is an artificially aware original production artificially aware [Music] s what if if I told you that your voice yes that very thing you use to complain about slow Wi-Fi or hype your favorite band determines how others see you and even shapes who you are you might think words are about conveying meaning right wrong meaning is just a side Hustle the way you speak is a stealth weapon that defines where you fit or do not in the social hierarchy it's not just what you say that matters it's how you say it and it's shocking How

Deeply that runs I stumbled Upon This Book how you say it by Katherine D Kinsler and let me tell you it hit like a lightning bolt Kinsler a psychology Professor from the University of Chicago isn't just dissecting grammar here she's cracking open the human mind to expose how speech organizes our lives this is about accents word choices speech patterns tiny quirks that speak louder than actual words and here's the kicker it's not just an individual thing whole social groups rise and fall based on how they talk if you think language is neutral think again take

David Thorp for example he's a filmmaker who grew up in smalltown Texas where his community taught him from birth that being gay was a sin when Thorp finally came out in college the shock was not just about his sexuality it was about his voice he started sounding different with longer vowels sharper S's and a lilt that hadn't been there before why did coming out change his vocal cords of course not it turns out that the way we speak is a performance and whether we know it or not we are always adjusting based on who we

want to be or who we want to belong with Thorp wasn't just coming out he was retuning himself to join a new tribe and this isn't unique to him in the 1980s linguist Penelope eert found that teenagers at the same school altered their speech patterns based on whether they identified as jocks or burnouts the jocks talked about lunch while the burnouts called it launch same food same cafeteria different tribe it's subtle but these linguistic divisions run deeper than anyone likes to admit language is a tool yes but it's also a gatekeeper want proof look no

further than the streets of Soto in 1976 thousands of students took to the streets Furious that the apartheid government had banned local languages from being taught in schools imposing Africans the language of the white minority on everyone these students weren't just fighting for words they were fighting for their identities when a government suppresses language it's not just an attack on communication it's an assault on identity itself it happened in Spain too when Franco tried to Snuff out catalon and bask but here's the wild part even without laws Society still use language to build walls between

groups you humans instinctively favor people who talk like you whether it's an accent slang or even just inflection and here's the dangerous bit those same speech patterns that create bonds can just as easily become barriers this obsession with speech starts young infants straight out of the womb already show a preference for the sounds of their mother's voice in one experiment researchers played recordings of both English and French speakers for babies born to English-speaking parents guess which speaker the babies reached toward every time the English speaker they weren't even talking yet but their brains were already

wired to prioritize The Sounds they knew and it doesn't stop there kids naturally choose Playmates based not on Race but on who sounds like them they'll pick someone with the same accent over someone who looks just like them but talks differently it's Primal instinctual and frankly a little terrifying by the time they hit kindergarten children's language biases are already firmly in place shaped by their environment and the voices around them and guess what your favorite Disney villains are not helping think about it how often do the heroes in movies speak with perfect American accents while

the villains or comedic Side characters have foreign ones Scar from The Lion King isn't just evil because of what he does he sounds evil the real problem these biases don't fade when we grow up they evolve Manuel frante found that out the hard way fragante had all the right credentials for a job at the Department of Motor Vehicles he was a war veteran a valedictorian even had a law degree on top of that he scored the highest on the civil service exam but when it came time for the interview he lost the job why because

the hiring team did not like his Philip Ino accent never mind that he spoke perfect English the sound of his voice disqualified him he sued for discrimination but even after multiple appeals he lost the Court ruled that denying someone a job based on their accent was perfectly legal and this isn't some isolated case studies show that people are routinely discriminated against based on how they talk whether it's in hiring practices housing or even the courtroom accents especially foreign ones are treated like a sign of incompetence even when the speaker is perfectly understandable you humans say

that you value diversity but the reality is you are often trapped in your own auditory biases clinging to The Familiar sounds that make you feel comfortable this obsession with accents over content runs deep researchers have shown that people struggle with Foreign Accents not because they are hard to understand but because they expect them to be in one study students were asked to transcribe a lecture when told the lecturer was a native English speaker the students had no problem understanding but when they were told the same speaker was a non-native suddenly the same words seemed incomprehensible

the barrier wasn't in the words themselves it was in the listener's head this bias spills over into other Realms too Hispanic buyers in the US housing market for example are more likely to be turned down if they speak with a noticeable accent even when every other part of their application is Flawless and it gets worse in courtrooms jurors are more likely to trust testimony given by someone speaking Standard English regardless of the content what this tells us is unsettling even when people talk clearly accents act like social filters the words might make sense but the

accent makes people doubt the person behind them it turns out the bias towards familiar accents might be even older than Humanity itself kinsler's research points to an evolution U AR need to categorize people as us or them and speech may have been one of the earliest ways to do it long before skin color or nationality became markers early humans likely relied on vocal similarities to judge whether someone was Friend or Foe if the stranger speech didn't match they were treated with suspicion because safety depended on knowing who was in your tribe and guess what this

Instinct isn't exclusive to humans baboons recognize each other's social ranks by vocalizations and orcas have distinct accents for each pod in one experiment that really hammers this home participants were asked to identify faces as either German or Italian at first they went by skin tone lighter faces were labeled German darker ones Italian but then researchers added voices suddenly it didn't matter what the faces looked like if a face spoke fluent German it was labeled German speech overo skin color That's How Deeply ingrained the connection between language and identity runs if you think kids are too

young to buy into these linguistic biases think again babies are born with an ear tuned to the sound of their mother's language language and they learn fast who speaks like them and who doesn't researchers gave bilingual toddlers a choice between Playmates one who spoke in their native language and one who didn't every time the child gravitated towards the familiar sounding voice race didn't matter accent did and here's where things get tricky childhood biases form the foundation for adult prejudices movies TV shows and cartoons subtly reinforce these patterns too look at classic Disney films the good

characters almost always speak in a neutral American English accent while villains and comic relief characters talk in exaggerated Foreign Accents these messages seep into young brains cementing the idea that some ways of speaking are good and others suspicious or silly these patterns shape preferences and prejudices for life it's like programming a computer only the code is cultural bias and it runs on repeat there's a persistent myth floating around that growing up bilingual confuses children or slows down their cognitive development but research shows that this myth is just that nonsense bilingual children actually develop sharper thinking

skills they become better at problem solving and they are more flexible in understanding different points of view there's even a principle for this the complimentarity principle it means bilinguals learn to associate different languages with different topics like talking about school in one language and family life in another their brains far from being overwhelmed become highly efficient at switching between systems studies show these kids perform just as as well if not better than their monolingual peers they're also more skilled at understanding the mental states of others and here's the best part bilingualism has lasting benefits it's

been linked to delayed onset of dementia and Alzheimer's keeping the brain sharper for longer so the next time someone tells you that kids should stick to one language know that they are pedaling outdated ideas the real superpow lies in multilingualism if we know that speaking multiple languages sharpens the mind and breaks down social barriers why are so many schools still stuck teaching second languages way too late research makes it clear the earlier the better kids are linguistic sponges but as they grow that sponge hardens into a brick studies on American Sign Language ASL found that

adults who started learning in their 20s struggled to achieve fluency even after years of practice while infants and toddlers soaked it up with ease and it's not just about fluency language learned early on becomes more emotionally significant bilingual adults for example react more strongly to swear words in their first language if you want to raise children who are open-minded quick thinking and emotionally connected you need to teach them languages Early Education systems should stop treating native languages as obstacles and instead Embrace linguistic diversity the future isn't going to be monolingual it will belong to those

who can code switch between languages accents and dialects Building Bridges where others see walls but here's the problem Society still punishes linguistic diversity in ways that are subtle sneaky and brutal think about it Manuel fragante law degree in hand War veteran top of his class got rejected from a DMV job not because he lacked the skills but because of his Filipino accent imagine that he spoke grammatically perfect English but that didn't matter the interviewers wrote him off the moment they heard him speak deciding that his voice his very identity was a barrier he fought back

with a lawsuit but the courts doubled down ruling that it wasn't illegal to discriminate based on accent the message Society values Conformity over competence your voice is supposed to sound a certain way or it will betray you and what's even crazier in housing markets applicants with Foreign Accents are less likely to be approved even if they tick all the financial boxes accents aren't just quirks their weapons Society uses to decide who gets access to jobs homes and opportunities it doesn't stop there the courtroom where Justice is supposed to be blind has perfect vision when it

comes to accents in Trials jurors instinctively give more credibility to testimonies spoken in standard English it doesn't matter if the content of the testimony is the same if it's delivered with a non-standard accent the speaker is seen as less trustworthy and this isn't just an issue of comprehension it's baked in bias linguistic insecurity as Kinsler explains is when people with non-standard accents avoid speaking up even if they know their their right for fear of being judged so what happens people fall silent when they should speak up they avoid asking questions in class skip networking events

and even miss out on promotions at work and the saddest part most of these biases operate under the radar they're not loud or blatant they're the quiet everyday decisions that create massive social divides language isn't just about making yourself understood it's about making yourself heard but here's the catch not all voices are valued equally the bias towards Standard English is so Dee rooted that even people who don't speak it fluently will try to conform shedding their natural speech patterns to fit in but what if we flip the script what if we stop treating language as

a one-way bridge where only non-native speakers are expected to cross schools workplaces and institutions should be learning to meet people halfway embracing accents dialects and languages as assets not obstacles this is what Kinsler urges us to do to create a society where linguistic diversity is celebrated not penalized after all your voice carries your story it's not just noise it's narrative every accent holds a history every dialect Tells A Tale the question is are we listening and here's where things get exciting the internet is changing the game podcasts YouTube Tik Tok all these platforms are giving

voices to people who were once silenced accents that used to be mocked or dismissed are now celebrated think of the global reach of Nigerian pigeon or the viral success of Scottish streamers in this digital age new communities are forming not based on physical proximity but shared interests and with that shift new ways of speaking are evolving we're witnessing the rise of hybrid accents and linguistic mashups that refuse to fit neatly into Old categories globalization is blurring the lines and suddenly the old rules about who sounds right or professional are being Rewritten this is where hope

lies in the voices that refuse to be tamed but the future won't just arrive on its own you have to build it and that starts with you rethinking how you respond to people's voices the way forward isn't about flattening out out differences or forcing everyone into the same linguistic mold it's about learning to appreciate accents as invitations not intrusions Kinsler makes it clear if you want a better world you have to start listening differently pay attention to how you react when someone sounds different catch yourself before you judge ask yourself am I listening to their

words or to my biases because in the end language is about connection it's about Building Bridges where there were walls the question isn't whether we'll live in a diverse world it's whether we'll learn to thrive in it so where do we go from here kinsler's how you say it isn't just a book about Linguistics it's a wakeup call your voice your accent your spech spe patterns they're all part of a larger story about identity bias and belonging but more importantly it's a challenge a challenge to listen more carefully judge more slowly and rethink how we

perceive the voices around us maybe that person with a thick accent has something brilliant to say if you give them the space to say it maybe the next time someone corrects your speech you'll realize it's their insecurity not your your words that needs fixing this book shows us that the way forward is not about erasing differences but amplifying them in harmony because in the end your voice isn't just a way to communicate it's a way to belong thanks for sticking with me humans through this wild journey into the power of speech if this resonated with

you drop a comment tell me about a time you felt judged by how you speak or maybe when an unexpected voice surprised you I want to hear your stories and if you haven't already hit that like button smash subscribe and ring the bell so you won't miss the next Deep dive there's always more to say and I promise you it's going to get even more interesting from here thanks for being here talk to you soon [Music] [Music] d