there's one single thing that holds so many women back from being their most magnetic radiant feminine selves and once you stop doing this your life will completely transform and you will unlock your feminine energy in this video I'm going to reveal exactly what that one thing is and how to let it go how to stop doing it so you can step into the most powerful version of yourself hey friend welcome back if you're new here my name is jills and I help women step into their power tap into their divine feminine and become their best
self live their dream life so if that's something you want to do you should subscribe and stick around and in case you want more from me besides just my YouTube videos you can check out my deep dive feminine energy course or any of my other digital products they are always linked down below so the truth is the women who struggle in life the women who struggle in love the women who are always anxious and stressed and burnt out and exhausted and just Zapped of their feminine Essence they all have one thing in common they are
fixated on trying to control everything and therefore they shift into desperate energy when you finally stop trying to control everything your feminine energy comes back to life it flourishes you become magnetic you feel an instant sense of peace and you become a better more grounded version of yourself so what's the secret to radiate feminine energy the one thing that changes everything is you must release your grip and you must Release Control constantly trying to control it keeps you in your head it keeps you in scarcity mode it keeps you in Desperate mode it keeps you
chasing it destroys you of your peace it blocks your creativity it blocks your feminine intuition it blocks your pleasure and your ability to receive and also it is not sexy it does not make you magnetic you lose your feminine charm and mystery and seductiveness and to top it all off it sucks to feel like you have to control every tiny thing or else your world is going to fall apart and that is not the way that you live a joyful peaceful soft life your feminine energy will never come to life until you can release your
need for control now I know this is not always easy so don't worry I'm going to teach you how to start doing this but first let's talk about control and understand it a bit more the funny thing is is that trying to be in control it gives us this illusion of safety but it's actually the very thing that creates anxiety and stress in our life and it's ironic we try to control to stop us from suffering but your desperate desire for control tends to be the cause of your suffering but to be in your feminine
energy you must understand the art of surrender now surrender does not mean giving up or being weak or being pushed around it means choosing trust over stress it means choosing flow over Force if you want a soft life you have to choose a soft life if you want peace and ease you have to choose peace and ease I love this quote by Elizabeth Gilbert you're afraid to surrender because you don't want to lose control but you never had control all you had was anxiety we control because we want to feel safe right we cling so
tightly to everything our plan our relationships our goals because we think this keeps us safe but in reality we never had control in the first place and all we get in return for all that is just stress and anxiety and sucking ourselves dry of our feminine Essence and when you let go when you let go of all the micromanaging all the tension all of the stress all of the anxiety all of the mothering grown adults all of the chasing all of the control just think about what you could do with all that energy and who
you would be when all that weight is dropped think about how much healthier you would feel feel how much hotter you would look how much more alive and connected and magnetic you would be so let's drop the scarcity drop the desperation drop the control and move into flow and ease so you can take back your feminine power and actually live a life that feels good but before we get into it and exactly how to do all of this a quick thank you to better help for kindly sponsoring today's video as we've talked about learning how
to let go and Trust the process of life is a powerful step in learning how to activate your feminine energy but that's not necessarily an easy thing to do I get it that fear of what might happen if you're not always on top of everything all the time it can feel a little overwhelming and therapy can be a helpful tool in navigating these feelings working with a therapist can help you understand the root of any control patterns help you process any anxiety that comes up and guide you toward a life that feels more aligned and
effortless better help make starting therapy convenient and accessible it's an entirely online therapy platform so you can connect with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your own home on on your own schedule with their network of over 30,000 professionals you'll be matched with someone who understands your unique needs but if the match isn't right for whatever reason you can switch therapist at any time with no extra cost getting set up is so easy how it works is you just fill out a brief questionnaire and then you'll be matched with a therapist in as little
as a couple days that is all you have to do so if you feel ready to explore therapy click the link in the description below or go to betterhelp.com jills for 10% off your first month thank you betterhelp and now let's get back into it so first of all let's get one thing straight the need for control doesn't just show up for no reason it gives us the illusion of safety and if you are clinging to that illusion it's likely because a part of you is craving more safety and stability in your life if you
struggle with being controlling I want you to pause for a second and just ask yourself why don't I feel safe why don't I trust life it's possible that you've experienced hardship or pain or instability in the past maybe you had a chaotic upbringing or a really manipulative crappy ex-boyfriend or went through something that shook your sense of security and even if your external reality is all fine now things have changed things are good your internal reality AKA your nervous system might still be bracing for impact bracing for challenge preparing for something to go wrong when
your inner world and your nervous system don't feel safe you see everything as a threat and when you're stuck in survival mode you view life through the lens of surviving not thriving that's why even if controlling everything makes you miserable you still choose to do it because it still feels safer than letting go so if you don't take the time to get really honest with yourself and dive into the root cause of your control issues then it might feel like a constant struggle so ask yourself where is this coming from and why do I feel
like I need to control everything for things to be okay you can try to act like you're the easy breezy go with the flow kind of girl you can keep affirming to yourself over and over again that everything is wor out for me and that might help in the short term but if you never address the root of why you're holding on so tightly then every little bit of unpredictability in your life will send you right back into control mode because that's what control is It's A coping mechanism for instability and when you are stuck
in survival mode you see any sort of instability in your life as a threat but once you start healing these root issues unpredictability doesn't have to feel so scary it starts to feel less like a threat and more just like a part of life or something that can even feel exciting or interesting I've struggled with this too and one of the most powerful things that helped me was really simple I got clear on why I felt unstable which was pretty obvious to me it was just some challenges in the past and then I said to
myself yes that was then but this is now I mentally created this energetic divider between my past and my present so instead of seeing my entire life and my entire self as this one big messy chaotic blob I separated the two I would say to myself over and over again that was was then but this is now and the more I repeated it the more I visualized that divider the more it softened my nervous system and this is important separated Who I Am with the struggles I went through in the past and once you can
separate yourself from your struggles and it's no longer a part of your identity a part of your self-concept that is when you move out of survival mode I used that mental divider to help me form a new identity for myself without the past struggles that were keeping me so tense if your identity is wrapped up in struggle then you will always be anticipating struggle and you will ironically keep perpetuating struggle and you will never feel ease in flow and you will always keep trying to control but once you dive into the root cause and release
it and separate it from who you are now you help your nervous system recognize that the current moment is safe that you are safe and then you can let go and move from surviving to thriving but moving on there was one other simple thing that I did sort of along these same lines so instead of just saying and thinking to myself oh everything is always going to work out everything is always going to go perfectly nothing is ever going to go wrong nothing unpredictable will ever happen again I thought about it differently I told myself
that whatever happened whatever the outcome I could handle it if I tried something new and miserably failed at it I'd still be fine if I got on a podcast interview and absolutely bombed it not ideal but you know what I'd be fine or if you show up on a date and the guy never shows he stood you up that's a bummer but also you will be fine if you don't get that job that you want so badly you you will be fine to let go of that constant desperation mode control mode I realized that it
wasn't just about healing the root of the issue but it was also realizing that again instability is a part of life and I had to remember that yes I trust the universe yes but also I trust myself I had to remember that I am capable that I can figure anything out that I have Inner Strength remember that you've handled everything else life has thrown at you right you naturally release your attachment to outcomes when you realize that no matter the outcome you will be fine and that you can handle it now you also need to
get clear on one thing what you can and cannot control you don't necessarily have control over where and when you meet your soulmate you don't have control over whether that job chooses to hire you you don't have control when your car randomly decides to break down or if you get an A+ on that exam or if you end up reaching your goal of getting 100,000 Instagram followers you cannot control whether your partner stays loyal to you you cannot control whether your friends invite you to all of their social activities you can choose to keep high
quality people in your life and get rid of the toxic ones yes but you cannot control everyone around you you cannot control their every little action what you can control is how you show up in those situations you can control the boundaries you set the energy you bring and the effort you put into building a life you love but trying to control the actions choices perceptions of others that is just going to drain you it is going to leave you feeling so powerless and it'll strip you of any piece that you have the key is
to focus what's truly within your realm of influence which which is yourself when you stop obsessing over external outcomes and start directing that energy more inward you'll immediately be more in your feminine energy you'll feel the difference feminine energy is that inward energy masculine energy is more of that outward energy so direct that energy more Inward and on what you can control now next I'm going to tell you something that'll completely reframe the way that you think about releasing control and honestly this is my favorite tip of them all so if you ever feel like
you are snapping back into your controlling tenden IES or you are just really struggling with being controlling and being attached to outcomes I want you to remember this one sentence let your desire to feel relief be greater than your desire to control the situation that's a quote by Abraham Hicks and that is it that is the key if you could let yourself prioritize relief feeling good feeling at peace over the need to control every outcome your life would completely change what if you let your desire to be happy and at peace be more important let
your desire to feel good be great greater than your desire to control how other people perceive you let your desire to feel good be greater than your desire to care about if that guy texts you back or not let your desire to feel good be greater than your obsession with how quickly you reach your goals here's the truth control keeps you stuck in a cycle of tension and scarcity but Letting Go allows you to access something so much better pleasure and when you let yourself feel good your feminine energy comes alive you become magnetic radiant
and so present in your body so what if you simply chose to let yourself feel pleasure over pain what if you decided to let go of the anxiety and overthinking not after you've reached your goals not after the relationship works out not after you manifest what you want or make x amount of money but now simply because it feels better you're going to get to the same destination anyway at the end of the day so you can either choose the bumpy ride flying in turbulence or you can choose the one that's smooth sailing flying In
First Class tipping champagne and watching movies the whole time when you choose pleasure when you choose relief you release control and you move from scarcity into trust and abundance you detach from outcomes you stop chasing you stop the desperation and it feels good and a woman who feels good in her body is one of the most attractive beautiful things and all of this will unlock your feminine energy and that choice is yours if you want to dive deeper into this topic I highly recommend you check out this video it's a real and honest talk about
just letting yourself be happy and letting yourself experience pleasure and joy and letting yourself have it all so I really hope that you check it out I do think it's a really important and needed conversation so I'll see you over there or I'll just see you next time in my next video bye
