I'm tired of my ex-husband's wife wanting to be friends with me just because he cheated on both of us original post I don't understand why I'm in this situation and honestly I'm frustrated because even my own family tells me I'm the bad one here I just need to vent and I don't need any advice or somebody telling me do this I think you should tell her this or I would write her this or this more than 17 years ago my ex-husband cheated on me with a woman I didn't know but she knew me he left
me for her our only daughter was a baby and I just moved on with my life I'm never going to fight for a man who makes immature decisions without first thinking about the consequences he married that woman I went on with my life preferring to have a healthy co-parenting for my daughter he never showed remorse and he had even told me that ours was always a mistake and that woman was the love of his life that helped me to realize that he's a total dick and I don't need a man like that in my life
now he cheated on her and for some reason this woman who always had a really cold and distant relationship with me is insisting on trying to talk with me every day I found out about the infidelity from my daughter who wasn't affected by that so I didn't think too much about it the only thing that worried me was to know if he was going to be able to continue having our daughter at his house on weekends as always but his wife started sending me messages explaining what happened when I never asked her that and in
the past I only spoke to her if her husband didn't answer my text to ask something about my daughter it's obvious that she needs to talk about it it doesn't matter if I answer dryly because she sends me long audio talking about it anyway I mean I understand that she needs to talk about her husband's infidelity and blah but why me I don't want to be rude but I don't care how she or he feels in one of her audios she says you know how I feel now like I guess but that was 17 years
ago it's not the same and if I'm being 100% honest she can't compare herself to me at all a woman who has just given birth to whom her husband tells her that he has been cheating on her for a long time with another woman who is not boring in bed and does know how to Value him vs a woman who always knew that her husband is Unfaithful and decided to marry him anyway anyway I've tried to ignore her as much as I can but even when I talked to my family or friends about this almost
all of them told me things like oh but she must feel lonely but she wasn't to blame for being the other one I think you should be more empathetic we all need someone to talk to or my favorite one she's not to blame for him being a cheater you should understand her because she needs help I understand that she is not to blame and he's the cheater but she a totally adult woman at that time decided to marry a man she knew was sleeping with her while his wife was pregnant so why should I now
carry the weight of helping her when she never helped me by telling me hey your husband slept with me and that's really shitty because he's married with you or that's what i' do if a married man flirts with me now if she didn't do any of that then why is it my duty as a feminist to force myself to be her friend it doesn't make sense and the worst thing is that almost all the women around me tell me that I should help her and be her ear when I don't want her feel empathy for
her or for him I think she and he knew very well what they were getting into I don't understand why I should be her free therapist now being cheated on is not my whole personality I don't need to talk about that 247 with her I just chose to ignore her and that's what I'm going to continue doing because I just don't care how she feels even if I'm a bad feminist for not feeling empathy sorry my first language is Spanish and I wrote everything pretty annoyed edit no I can't block her because she's still living
with him and I need to have her contact me in case of an emergency with my daughter and honestly it's weird to have so many comments and even private messages from people wanting to tell me what I should send to her and even writing what I feel I'm sorry but there's no way I'm going to use the message of a stranger who doesn't know how I feel or the whole situation to say something to someone I feel like a lot of people in the comments are reflecting their own traumas update hi it's been a while
since I posted and I just wanted to give a little update for people who were worried first of all my mother was a lover for a long time when I was a teenager plus during my adulthood their relationship lasted long years until he died I think his wife never found out about his affair that's why my mom manipulates me so much into not judging my ex's wife because no one chooses who to fall in love with my mother always reflected herself on that woman and that's why she said that my ex-husband and his lover now
wife are soulmates and I shouldn't get in the way I was very young at the time I could only lean on my mother for a little support and well narcissists always catch vulnerable people nowadays I don't have much contact with her but my daughter spends time with my family and about my friends well I am a feminist activist and opinions regarding lovers are divided because most of them are on the liberal side most of the times is seen as something misogynistic to judge them because they are single women and the man is the one we
should blame plus we need to be soras with other girls so I expected that reaction from most of them I agree with that in most cases but not in this one I can feel empathy when the woman did not know or when she is a minor being groomed but in this case I do not feel any pity because she knew well what she was doing women can also be mean and cruel women can o choose to be the bad guys in the story without someone manipulating us because we are not weak and my ex's wife
is that kind of woman no one manipulated her into doing anything I'm sorry that explanation was perhaps unnecessary but there were people who didn't understand my family's and Friends behavior and honestly it feels good to vent I have spoken with my ex's wife because honestly a few days ago I had a really stressful day and the last thing I needed was to see her messages in my WhatsApp so I just exploded I planned to continue ignoring her but that day I was upset about things about my work and I ended up telling her everything I
sent her an audio telling her that I'm not interested in her life or in the fact She's suffering I told her that I am not her friend nor am I interested in being one she never asked me for forgiveness and now she expects me to start the group of women cheated on by my ex I told her other things and I would love to be able to post videos here I told her that she knew very well what she got herself into she knew well that my ex was capable of cheating on the mother of
his baby but she still decided to marry him and live the stupid fantasy that she could change him and that she was different from all the other women he was with God I hate long audios but it was plus five whole minutes telling her that her situation and mine are nothing alike I think that was my greatest catharsis she got upset and we started arguing it was quite tiring and the last thing I want is to have problems after 17 years of having normal co-parenting I know they are not going to get divorced and that
means I will have to live with her in my life forever so I sent a message to my ex resending him one of the audios she sent me I took the work to listen to them all and she never apologized to me I don't need her apologies BTW I don't care but some comments asked me about that they were just audios complaining and wanting us both to speak badly about him or wanting to have me as her free therapist I told my ex to tell his wife to calm down and pay for a psychologist he
apologized to me and told me that they are both working on the marriage so they're at the stage where she still feels angry and insecure with him like yes obviously idiot so since I suffered the same no it's not the same she felt that we could share the pain he told me that they both started going to the online conferences of I don't know what couple who teach how to get over an infidelity sometimes I feel envious of people who can scam others so easily anyway I told him that I'm not friends with her and
that this affects our co-parenting so he should put a stop to her if she doesn't understand what I say in the end he reluctantly told me he was going to talk to her and I've gone three days without any message from her except today one where she just told me that my daughter was sleeping there so I guess it worked I don't care if they live a happy or miserable marriage I don't care if she's happy knowing that he cheated on her but stays with him anyways I just want to live in peace without getting
into trouble with people who at plus 40 years old are still living mentally in high school now to the next story story two A co-worker asked me to be her man of Honor I said no and she went nuts what did I miss original post this happened yesterday and I'm still confused yesterday was my first day back to work after being off for 2 weeks this is kind of important one of my co-workers had gotten engaged the week before I left when she announced at work we all did the congratulations and were happy for her
type of things I thought it was over so when I left for vacation last I knew no plans had yet been made then yesterday when I went back to work my boss Kim and best friend Laura said that cooworker CLA was looking for me I asked what was up and they weren't sure but she was carrying a little gift bag a few minutes later Claire found me and asked how my vacation was I was telling them about it and she cut me off and said she had a very important question to ask she handed me
a little gift bag and asked if I would be her best man of Honor for her wedding I thanked her and told her that typically this would traditionally go to a close female relationship she responded that there was nothing traditional about her wedding so it was good I looked over at Laura and Kim who were both trying to keep from laughing I again thanked her and congratulated her and told her that I wasn't interested in being part of her wedding party and that I would be happier being a guest in the audience I swear when
I said this it was when we watched her entire demeanor change and a switch flipped she went off saying that I have to be at her wedding and that she doesn't understand why I would say no I told her that we only knew each other for a short time and that I had no interest in trying to plan parties dinners and shopping trips she told me I needed to think about it and she would get back to me later I told her to go for it but my answer will be the same she walked away
and I looked at Kim and Laura and asked what the ever loving fresh creepy hell was that Kim started to laugh and said she didn't know but saying no like I did might have saved me a lot of headaches in the future Laura made the comment that she went straight to bridezilla and this was a look into what she was going to be like Claire came back today however she went with a different approach and handed me a list of what she wants me to do and her vision of how she sees things I asked
her why she gave me this and she said that as her man of Honor these were my responsibilities I told her again that I was not going to do any of this she said again that she needs me to do this and how much fun it was going to be then she asked haven't you ever wanted to be the part of something special I told her I was I was a nurse enter Kim who could sense that I needed help and told CLA one of her patients needed her help I told Kim that if this
keeps up I might need her help she said she was already watching it and would intervene if I needed it what did I miss we aren't that close she just transferred down to my unit from a different unit 6 months ago I had no idea who she was until that point Laura is saying that she is close in age to me and she might feel that to be enough of a connection did I miss something when we are asked are we supposed supposed to automatically gush and jump up and down in excitement why is saying
no a Bad Thing some of O's comments commenter it seems Kim is useless here you really need to go over Kim's head and nip this in the bud right now because CLA isn't taking no for an answer ohop Kim will help I know she will she is just waiting to see what her next step is I have had to have her help with a work issue before if I have problems with her the next time we work together they all let Kim loose could this be some weird way to flirt it won't work with me
I like dick LOL and I have a boyfriend LOL commenter I'm not an expert but isn't this an HR issue now I mean isn't that like harassment oop it becomes an issue if I report it my boss is seeing all of it so far and has said that she is watching the situation and will intervene if it keeps going I'm off tomorrow so I won't see her for a couple of days commenter she wants to show off how different and edgy she is by having a man of honor she may also admire your organizing skills
and get it done demeanor and thinks you'll throw her great wedding related parties oop I'm a bad gay guy friend I'm organized when it comes to a lot of things but planning a wedding is something I have never done and really don't want to learn to do if I were to ever get married it's midnight under a full moon at the beach with a few friends and a cookout the next day LOL commenter okay this is going to sound weird but since she's advertising that it's a non-traditional wedding is it possible she's after you for
a specific reason are you gay or part of a racial minority it's possible she wants her wedding to look super diverse for Instagram reasons and maybe she's after you for a specific vibe in the pictures regardless of the reason NTA o I don't know her background yes I am gay and the entire department knows it because I was dating a former nurse and we broke up now I'm dating someone from a different department and it's all known all she said was it was a less than traditional wedding and it would be okay yesterday K andl
asked asked if I was afraid of something about it maybe if I had to wear a dress I said I would rock the dress I might need a push-up to fill out the front of a dress if it's strapless LOL but I just don't want anything to do with it I have no interest my life is crazy enough right now planning a wedding would go from crazy to insane update one hey everyone first I apologize I never thought this was going to go as crazy as it did I want all of you to know I
read all of your responses and responded to as many as I was able to thank you all for your amazing insights and comments many that made me laugh which I needed I have been sick and that really helped to cheer me up I had to meet with my lawyer today regarding family issues editors note op goes into detail about those issues and other posts on his profile but they weren't relevant here so I didn't include them my neighbor best friend cooworker Laura took me I really felt awful and driving wasn't a good idea we were
talking about this on the way and we both were asking a lot of the same question questions that all you were asking the big one was that we were asking about the circumstances of her transfer she went from Med surge 4w to the ER that is a huge change I have to work tomorrow so we will see what happens but Laura and I are going to ask him about the transfer and raise a couple of other concerns after I got home from the meeting with my lawyer I slept for the rest of the day many
of you asked about if CLA and I hang out outside of work the answer is no I really don't know anything about her I have helped her a few times s with patience and different things but our relationship is 100% purely work related that was why I was so surprised that she asked me to do this that is why I was so surprised that she asked me about being the man of Honor I have a very small friend base and in all honesty I like to keep it that way I really have no interest in
being a part of this I'm not a wedding person after reading so many bridezilla stories and hearing about over-the-top weddings they have become a huge turnoff to me spending tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars with insane unrealistic demand that turn people against each other why I would rather use that money and spend that time planning my next trip or vacation many people said that I was being used as a token or prop in a wedding or a gay best friend I never really thought about it I admit that I'm out and proud
but I'm not going to just pretend to be someone's friend just so they can fulfill some kind of fetish they have for wanting to have a gay best friend or some kind of status she feels the need to fulfill it takes me a lot to get offended but if this were actually the case then I would really be rather offended I was not put on the face of the Earth to be someone's play toy a lot of people have said that maybe she doesn't have a boyfriend she does she has brought him in before if
she has any insecurity I don't understand it she is attractive smart and knows her stuff so I'm at a loss as to why she is acting like this a lot of people say go to HR I'm starting that process with my boss Kim she is completely aware of the situation being with us when all this happens she has told me that she is watching the situation and will jump in if I need her too I trust her completely while Kim and HR can control the situation from the hospital they can't control the situation from a
personal level if she were to maybe follow me home or a situation like that so I think that covers it all I wish I could say this is over but most likely there is more to come please update me comments commenter about that name O's username you're not just an RN because there's nothing just about RN's or other nurses you folks regardless of gender do the medical heavy lifting and when we can't get a straight sorry answer from the Oho busy MDS the nurses provide the no information o op my name is kind of an
ongoing running inside joke I'm told at least once a day or so from a patient that I'm just a nurse one day I heard it three times I don't really take offense to this and in a joking way I repeated what the patient said and my boss Kim jumped my case about that's not the case at all I love my job it's a huge part of me and who I I am it's a part of my identity commenter I'm curious about her List of Demands or responsibilities like did she really think you would change your
mind now that you had all this BS work to do and money to spend op it pretty much had me planning the whole thing she wanted me to plan the bridal shower the bachelorette party coordinate dress shopping and fittings make sure everyone was having fun with the whole thing just to name a few commenter op what the ever loving fresh creepy hell is this LMA o oop I had no idea what the ever loving fresh creepy Bell was from something it's just something I have always said mini update and comments next day I'll be posting
an update in a day or two things came to a head today and it was pretty much just as everyone was saying I need to take some time to understand everything that happened today I also have a meeting scheduled Monday with the director of nursing at my hospital which should bring closure I hope so update post this intro is going to be long but I'm telling you about this for a reason and later in this update it will make sense I'm hoping this will be done and that this will be the last of this whole
situation I was born into a family where I was referred to as an issue that needed to be dealt with I lived in the shadows of my sister who was the child my parents wanted they wanted one child which was a girl that way Dad had his daddy girl and Mom had mommy little princess then I came along keep in mind that I'm 23 so back then my parents had options but chose to not use any of those options so instead my parents raised my sister sister and I was raised by a nanny who even
to this day is one of the biggest influences in my life and I am so grateful for her she helped me so much I finally realized that all these years later that by being referred to as an issue that needed to be dealt with that they stripped me of my humanity and individuality and selfworth as a person I think that's why I have worked so hard to establish myself in my career and in my life as a way to become a person again and not just be that issue that needed to be dealt with this
past Thursday things came to a head with the bridezilla known as Claire and the truth came out my best friend Laura has been sticking close to me when we worked together if Clare was to start something we weren't sure if she was going to leave it alone or start up again I was really hoping that it was done but she had to try once again I've been sick and I had a busy morning so I really just wanted a few minutes to go to the bathroom grab a quick snack and maybe breathe Claire came up
and had her list and asked if I had a few minutes to talk about the wedding planning I looked at her and told her again that I was not interested in being part of her wedding and that I was not going to help in any way and she needed to drop the subject and leave me alone again she went into the whole thing of how I was going to do this and how much fun it was going to be here we go with that line all of you love the first time why in the ever
loving fresh creepy hell is it so important for me to be your man of honor I'm not interested and I'm not doing it it is as exactly as pretty much all of you told me it would be she was just planning on using me as a token or a play toy she took all of the up gay stereotypes that are out in society and put them into one sentence what modern liberal woman isn't going to have a gay bestie on her arm for special events I felt everything in my stomach move and a wave of
nausea came over me and I felt like I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough this pissed Laura off to no end Laura is really kind of like the overprotective sister that I wish I would have had and took CLA off to visit our boss Kim and laid it all out everything that was said while I wasn't in on that conversation Laura and Kim filled me in on what was said Kim came to check on me and I was still hiding in the bathroom she knocked on the door and asked if she could come in
I asked her for a bottle of water first while I was waiting I realized two things I realized why I chose to not hang out with her and why I didn't like her I couldn't figure out why I didn't like her just that there was something that gave me the heig bees but I realized that I didn't like her because she is a different version of my sister while Claire is educated and employed she doesn't care about other people and their feelings she is like my sister in the sense that if she wants something bad
enough she will figure out how to get it the second thing I realized was that she did exactly what my parents did to me she completely dehumanized me and reduced me to an entity just kind of turned me into a token or a thing for her I think the word that best describes it is I must be a play toy what really gets me is that just like my sister Claire doesn't think she did anything wrong and I'm being too sensitive and a delicate snowflake the next day an emergency meeting was held at work and
Claire is being suspended pending investigation and a new transfer is being looked into Kim made the request for her to be terminated the director of emergency nursing said this was a last resort but she was going to be looking into options which could be sending her to a new hospital or facility this didn't go over well with me I asked what would happen if she did the exact same thing to someone different she didn't really give me an answer but she said she still needs to look into a few things and at this point she
is suspended anyway here it is I'm still pretty sick and had to work this weekend if I can I'll respond I want to thank everyone for all the amazing support I am going back to my Lord to see if he can figure out how to send her a cease and desist letter to make sure she doesn't contact me I'm heading to bed have a good night edit I keep forgetting to thank my boyfriend he has been with me on this but more in the background first when we were laughing about it but when everything Thursday
happened he was there as well L was able to get him away from his unit for a little bit for the okay boyfriend hug he stayed the night with me a couple of nights as well also helping with me being sick so yeah I'm very lucky to have such great support O's comments commenter what if she targets a vulnerable gay Patient next she's a danger and a liability for your employers to be sued oop thank you for this response I just texted Kim and asked her about this she said she was trying to get her
fired and she is hoping this will help the purpose thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the notification Bell to stay updated with more shocking real life stories happening around you
