Transcriber: Ola Królikowska Reviewer: 新 陈 School is hard. I think you all can agree with me on that statement. You have to deal with your formatives and summatives from eight different classes you take, sacrificing your time, effort, even sleeping schedule, just to get a good mark.
But what happens after getting a top mark, after the honor rolls, the high achievements and that ultimate feeling success? This moment. This aftermath.
It’s what never gets talked about. It is the unnecessary stress and pressure the school puts on high-performing students. Now, I can speak from experience because as a sophomore last year I was excelling academically.
I even made it to the honor roll and my mom bought me a cake to congratulate me. But as they say, all good things have to come to an end. The jump from the Middle Youth Program to the International Baccalaureate Program was huge.
And there were more requirements, obligations. Obviously, expectations followed. The sixes and sevens I used to get soon turned into fours and fives, sometimes even threes.
My earlier high was responsible for my all time low. I got bullied by myself. I would tell myself things like, “you suck at this subject” or “you’re just not good enough”.
Some even more, when I actually put effort into my work but still didn’t get the score that I wanted, it got to a point where I was in a denial stage. I purposely chose to not check my grades because I knew that whatever score it was, it was going to be in my head for the rest of the week. And another emotionally draining factor was seeing my classmates succeed.
But my number one enemy was the guy I used to be, with her top marks that I kept comparing mine too. However, I soon realized that it wasn’t just a me problem, it was a global issue. New York University conducted a study about high performing students and stress level, and they found out that 49%, so around half of high-performing students, experienced stress on a daily basis.
26% reported symptoms of depression at a clinically significant level. It shouldn’t be this way. A quarter of our students should not experience symptoms of depression at a clinically significant level.
But if I can’t change the system, the demands, the obligations, the requirements, then maybe I can change the way that I look at things. I realized that my overall score wasn’t important, and I need to shift my focus into my strength and my weakness. And that is exactly what I did.
I had to look at my teachers’ comments and see where I thrived or I struggled. Not only that, but I need to push through the embarrassment of it all and see my teacher’s feedback and ask for help, go watch YouTube videos, look through the rubric. Anything I can to fill up the gap.
Now, my scores did improve, but it wasn’t honor roll worthy. I didn’t care. The only thing that matters that my mental health is getting better, and the content isn’t so scary anymore.
What I realized that school is like a journey. In order to succeed, you almost need to fail in the process. Now, getting myself through the hardship made me realize that I learned two things.
Number one is the material. Number two is how to calm myself down, how to heal and how to grow and be a better me. Fellow students who are struggling in this learning journey with me.
Think of it this way. Your mind is kind of like a tree. You wouldn’t expect it to grow and give you fruits when all you feel is trash.
So why be so low in yourself? Why be so harsh on yourself? Nourish your mind.
Feed it some positivity, some encouragement, maybe even some sleep. It is always important to remember to keep your mental health in check, and not just chase your dreams irrationally because you never know when you will lose both. Thank you.
