here's a quick tutorial on how to be miserable for the rest of your life step one wake up whenever you want to don't wake up at a reasonable hour an hour that makes you feel good about yourself make sure you wake up when everyone has had a head start to the day you really want to make sure you feel like you've missed any chance to start your day off on the right foot and when you get out of bed don't make your bed don't shower just wear whatever you wore yesterday and head downstairs it's important
that you start the day off with little to no self-respect feeling as grimy as possible step 2 make sure your house is always a complete disaster your house is filled with many rooms each with a specific purpose you want to make sure that it's extremely difficult to accomplish those purposes the pig style will also help subconsciously reinforce the idea that you're a disorganized person whose life is not in order this is an extremely important belief to have when trying to remain miserable step 3 procrastinate when the thought dawns on you to do something productive like
clean your disgusting kitchen just ignore that feeling after all you just woke up and you have so much time later in the day to get that done you want to get in the habit of delegating all your life's problems to the future version of yourself who will probably have a lot more motivation and energy than you do right now step 4 look busy after you sit down to do some work open up a word document to help yourself feel like you're being productive give your document a nice title and then immediately open up reddit instagram
facebook and twitter just to check if you missed anything you see it doesn't really matter what you do as long as you're sitting on your desk and that word document is open it'll help trick your conscience into thinking you're doing work but you won't be getting any further in life step 5 wait for opportunities never be proactive with finding new opportunities to grow your career or meet new people wait for all of that to come knocking on your door after all if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen you'll meet the girl of your dreams one
day and things will kind of just work out you'll probably also land your dream job if you just wait long enough anyways the important thing is to not take action don't try to figure out the most effective way to get what you want just wait until things work out step 6 be default no when a friend asks you to go out for a drink just say no after all you're super busy these days and have a lot of work to do when your boss gives you the opportunity to lead a meeting at work try to
find an excuse to slink out of it the key here is to give everyone the impression that they should just let you do your own thing be so good at saying no that people just stop asking you to do anything step 7 be suspicious of people never give people the benefit of the doubt believe that everyone basically just wants to take advantage of you and because of this you should be guarded and put up walls to protect yourself emotionally assume the smiles people give you are fake and that their motives are malevolent step 8 never
fix the things you dislike about yourself continue to engage in activities that make you feel subhuman and weak never prove to yourself that you can overcome obstacles or better yourself never attempt to transcend your vices or change your lifestyle for the better subscribe to the idea that people can't change so you shouldn't try step 9 focus on things you can't control as often as possible get pissed off at the traffic the government the pandemic you really want to reinforce the idea that the world is messed up and there's nothing you can do about it focus
on the shortcomings of others the failings of your country and the state of the economy maintain a constant external locus of control over all the events in your life this will really help you feel powerless and if you're trying to be miserable that's perfect step 10 use fear as motivation make the fear of negative consequence your primary motivator for everything you do set up deadlines that frighten you and punish yourself for failing to meet them use white knuckle tactics to force yourself into productivity and remind yourself constantly that your entire life could fall apart if
you don't keep your head above water step 11 only do what is comfortable let your comfort zone be the authority on what you do and don't do if it's not comfortable don't do it avoid discomfort at all costs and participate only in activities that are familiar and effortless don't concern yourself with gaining fresh perspectives or novel experiences stay in your lane operating your wheelhouse step 12 believe you're special behave like you're entitled to things on the basis that you're just different than everyone else assume that the people that have what you want in life just
don't deserve it as much as you do always regard yourself as talented unique one-of-a-kind this will really help you develop an outsider complex which will make it difficult to open up to other people or see things from their perspective but since you don't want to do any of that uncomfortable stuff anyways that's perfect step 13 see life not as it is but how you wish it to be daydream of a day where things are better fantasize about a life where all your problems are gone you want to make sure you mentally escape as much as
possible to distract you from the obstacles in front of you pour your mental energy not into fixing your problems or improving yourself but into building up this fantasy to be as detailed as possible reflect daily about what you would buy if you won the lottery or became a celebrity constantly compare your life to this fiction and become resentful at the juxtaposition so if suffering is what you're after and you crave the daily strife then you're in luck because if you follow this advice you'll be miserable for the rest of your life this video was sponsored
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