8 Ways to Make a Narcissist Respect You

- In today's video, I'm empowering you with eight ways to make a narcissist respect you forever. You ready? Let's go.

(upbeat music) Hi, friends, welcome to my channel. If it's your first time here, my name is Tamie M. Joyce.

I'm the founder of Tamie M. Coaching and I'm an empowerment life coach, helping people to heal from painful family of origin and romantic relationship patterns so you can finally live your best life in peace, confidence, and freedom. I run a powerful, eight-week, transformational coaching program called The Freedom Class, specific to healing and recovery from codependency and narcissistic abuse.

If that's of interest to you, be sure to stick around until the end of the video and I'll tell you how you can learn more about my programs. So let's talk about how to make a narcissist respect you forever, but before we dive into that, I wanna make a suggestion. I hear a lot of people referring to the narcissistic person that they're struggling with as my narc or my narcissist.

And here's my suggestion to you. If you're serious about taking your power back, stop referring to them as my narc and my narcissist, and here's why. As a sovereign, empowered, and highly empathic human being, we don't wanna own the narcissist as ours, not even with words.

First of all, they too, are a sovereign, although deeply unconscious and fully codependent, still a sovereign human being, and whether or not you realize it, so are you. Second, pay attention to the energetics of what is going on and what you're claiming. What you speak into existence matters.

Do you really wanna claim the narcissist and their energy as yours? Do you really wanna continue to attach yourself to the narcissist and their low vibrational frequency on any level, even just energetically? Because the truth is as soon as you take on something or someone as yours, you take on that energy, that frequency.

You attach yourself to that person or thing, and the energy, the frequency that they carry. So pay attention to what you're taking ownership of on any level. Words matter and have creative power.

That's why we use the statement I am when we're doing the work of reprogramming our subconscious mind and affirming who we're becoming and what we're now choosing to embody, and consciously co-create for ourselves. So, own the good things, the things you want. Speak those into existence.

Think about it. What are you affirming? What are you claiming?

What are you owning as yours with the words that you speak? If you ever want to be free, fully sovereign, and empowered, you're gonna have to look at this. Anytime you're attaching yourself, anytime you're having an emotional reaction, every time you are claiming something as yours, every time you are identifying with something, you are aligning with, and therefore, owning the frequency.

So, be really careful about the people and the things that you align with. Again, claim the things you want, not the things you don't want, if you wanna be free. Now that said, let's talk about eight ways to make a narcissist respect you.

And I'm not gonna lie to you, the truth is, people with a destructive narcissist personality pattern aren't actually capable of real, genuine, healthy respect. Even when they temporarily hold you in high regard at the beginning stages of the relationship, what looks like respect is actually an act, a performance, a manipulative ploy to get into your good graces, so don't be fooled by the performance. It's a mirage, an illusion.

It's not real. Stick around long enough, and you'll soon find out just how not real it is. Now that said, surviving the dynamic you find yourself in is really what this is about, and if you can do it in a way that inspires even a modicum of respect, however inauthentic, you'll let the very least feel more empowered, less distressed, and undoubtedly be better off.

So this video is for those of you who, for whatever reason, find yourselves unable to disengage entirely, and therefore, are choosing to continue to engage with a destructive narcissist to whatever degree, and you wanna be able to do so with as much confidence, dignity, and grace as possible. Now, if you play your cards right with the narcissist, you may be able to enjoy something resembling respect if you're willing to expend the energy necessary to play the game, but this requires that you begin to cultivate internally what you wanna experience in your external reality. In other words, you have to be willing to do the work necessary to get yourself to a place where you can begin to embody self-love, self-esteem, and a deep sense of self-respect in order for any of this to work.

And make no mistake, operating from a place of genuine self-love, self-esteem, personal integrity, and self-respect will be a problem if you're enmeshed with, or in any way dealing with toxic, insecure, and empathy-impaired people. Your standards aren't likely gonna win you any popularity contests with people who prefer to remain steeped in denial and enmeshed in toxic relationships, and you've gotta learn to be okay with that. If your relationships can't survive you speaking your truth or you being all of you in your personal power, you're in the wrong room and definitely with the wrong people, and you can sort that out over time.

In the meantime, when it comes to the narcissist and the issue of respect, it's important to understand that underneath the phony facade, narcissists are deeply shame-based, fearful, and insecure people. No matter how much false bravado they present with, I assure you, beneath the mask, it's a whole other story. And this is why they have to disrespect you as well as others.

They treat you with disrespect in a twisted and bizarre attempt to confirm their false sense of superiority, and a powerful way to deal with this in real time is to simply say something along the lines of, you know, you don't have to put me down in order to feel better about yourself. And then silence, not another word. Let the message land and stand your ground.

And on that note, here are eight ways to make the narcissist respect you. Number one, own your frequency. Take responsibility for and ownership of your vibrational frequency.

Everything is energy and the energy you carry is everything. If you calibrate at a frequency that screams unsure, insecure, needy, fearful, hungry for love, validation, acceptance, and approval, you, my friend, are gonna be a narcissist's lunch. If however, you emanate the frequency of calm, grounded, self-assured, confident, filled from the inside with self-love, able to accept, validate, approve of, and respect yourself regardless of anyone else's opinion, it's clear that you need nothing from the narcissist.

Get to that place and the whole game changes, I assure you. Number two, hold your cards close to your chest. If they know you're onto them, look out.

You will be a target. If you can keep that to yourself, while you work on an exit strategy, you'll be much better off. Now, that's a tough one, in particular for those of us who are highly empathic, because we don't do phony, inauthentic, misaligned, or incongruent, and when we try or feel compelled to, it's typically due to our own unresolved codependency issues, and as a result, we pay a very high price.

For example, we find ourselves struggling with anxiety and ultimately, some form of addictive compulsive behavior to cope with the stress brought on by living incongruently, inauthentically, and out of alignment with our soul's truth. Being authentic and true to our core values is vital to living a peaceful, happy, healthy life. In the short-term, play the game if it's in your best interest to do so in small doses, but don't kid yourself into thinking you can do this long-term.

If you go that route, your soul won't be happy and you will pay, bigly. Number three, become bullet-proof. Now, admittedly, this requires that you have some real healing and recovery under your belt, as it's much easier to be bullet-proof in the face of a destructive narcissist and all of their antics when you're not walking around with a ton of unresolved pain and trauma in your field.

Do your healing and recovery work so you are stronger, more grounded, clear, and confident, more self-assured. In addition, decide what you are and are not available for, and stick to your new standards, period. You set the standard in your life and a big part of this requires that you stop reacting to their nonsense, and of course, this takes practice, and again, having some healing and recovery under your belt.

Practice using the gray rock method. It's a powerful method and it works, and if you need help with that, you can watch this video here. The bottom line is do whatever you need to do to no longer be an appealing target or a source of narcissistic supply.

That's what I mean by becoming bullet-proof. If you do your work, you can get there and faster than you think. Number four, present with a superior image or status.

Now, before you go taking what I'm about to say out of context, hear me. You don't have to go through life like this. As an empath, you're well aware that we all have inherent value and worth, and as such, you aren't likely struggling with a superiority complex, in fact, the opposite is more likely to be true for you.

But when it comes to commanding a narcissist's respect, being somewhat standoffish, aloof, and genuinely confident can be really, really helpful. And although this may very well trigger the narcissist's pathological envy, and let's not forget that the narcissist needs people they perceive to be beneath them to target and project their fear, guilt, shame, contempt, and disdain onto, narcissists also love to be aligned with anyone whom they perceive to have influence or status of some sort. Anything or anyone they feel may enhance their own social status or bring them some recognition, even if only by osmosis, is gonna command respect on some level with a narcissist.

And this is precisely why they do so much name-dropping and virtue-signaling at every opportunity. Being aligned with anyone who presents with a superior image or status is something the narcissist enjoys, unless and until their pathological envy is triggered, of course. But don't kid yourself, this strategy can be very helpful when dealing with a destructive narcissist.

Now, comment below and let me know whether or not you're liking these suggestions so far. Let me know in the comment section below. And if you're struggling with narcissistic abuse in any area of your life, you're likely an excellent candidate for my eight-week, transformational coaching program, the Freedom Class.

If that's of interest to you, there is a link in the description below where you can apply to see if you qualify for a free one-on-one consultation with either myself or a member of my team. Number five, develop self-agency. Now, self-agency is defined as the capacity for individuals to act independently and of their own free will, making their own choices and decisions without influence or control from others.

In other words, know your mind, trust yourself, and act accordingly. And people with this kind of healthy self-esteem live in alignment with their personal integrity, have strong boundaries, and are therefore, less vulnerable to emotional manipulators, toxic bullies, and other types of predators. And the added benefit here is this is where the line in the sand is drawn and you stop enabling the narcissist and their destructive attitudes and behavior.

They won't like it, but over time they will respect you for it. Although they'd rather die than admit it, deep down they'll respect you for not being an easy target and standing still while enabling their bullshit. Number six, be boundaried.

Keep your distance emotionally and otherwise. Do not share, overshare, attempt to bond in any way, expose yourself, or give them any ammunition they can later use against you. Less is more with these people, always, and whatever you do, never, ever show any weakness.

Number seven, limited engagement. Low doses, minimal contact, and maybe even ultimately, full-blown no contact if that's what's necessary and appropriate. Be prepared to calmly end conversations, especially when it's clear that you're not being heard or the narcissist is deliberately misunderstanding and therefore, misrepresenting you and your motives.

Just stop, mid-sentence if you have to. When everything you're saying is being twisted, disregarded, or ignored, while everything you're not actually thinking, feeling, or saying is being assumed and taken for cash, it's time to stop engaging. When you find yourself engaged in this type of circular, mind-bending conversation that's going nowhere, stop, and again, mid-sentence if you have to, and walk away.

It's okay to take care of yourself by allowing them limited access to you. You do not have to answer the phone because they call, reply to every email or text, answer your door if they show up on your doorstep, nor do you have to participate just because they call a meeting for that matter. The calling a meeting is classic by the way, often under the guise of working things out or talking things through, which is more likely going to be a vampiric fest where you A, have your vital life force energy drained from your very being and B, you'll be accused of doing all the things, all manner of things you never actually did, and therefore, you'll be compelled to defend yourself.

Don't go there. In addition, you'll likely be blamed for all the things, whatever has gone on, it'll be all on you. And at the very least you'll leave feeling like your brain has been turned to scrambled eggs and then it takes you three days to recover from the whole ordeal.

So again, just don't go there. Say no thank you, and go live your life without all the extra nonsense and insanity. When people are genuine, that's one thing, but when you know they aren't by virtue of their behavior, their action, or inaction, never mind their words, words are easy, pay attention to their behavior.

Their action, as well as their inaction, will tell you everything you need to know. Remember, when dealing with a destructive narcissist, overt or covert, going no-contact is an act of self-love and extreme self-care, so give yourself permission to give yourself the gift whenever necessary. And my personal favorite, number eight, self-sovereignty, maintaining your personal sovereignty.

In other words, you don't need the narcissist for anything, but maybe they need you or you have something they covet, want, or need. The point is never allow yourself to be indebted to a narcissist for anything, and be careful here because you can easily inflict narcissistic injury by accidentally triggering the narcissist's sense of rejection or abandonment. After all, who do you think you are to reject or abandon the narcissist, right?

Now, if you're anything like me, you won't be the least bit phased by this or the inevitable smear campaign that ensues, and getting to this place will take some practice and some serious healing for sure, but you can get there. The point is, narcissists are hungry for power, and in your absence, the only power they have over you is manipulating perceptions and poisoning the minds and hearts of others towards you, even that of children sadly, such is the depth of their insecurity, envy, bitterness, and resentment. And they justify all of this through their delusional belief that it's disrespectful of you to not hang around and allow them to continue to criticize, diminish, demean, gossip about, and outright smear you, and fundamentally disrespect you on every level.

So again, maintain your personal sovereignty at all costs. You don't need them for anything. Got it?

Good. And with that, I'm gonna call it a wrap, but don't stop now. I have well over 100 more videos right here on YouTube for you to watch to help you better understand the detrimental effects of narcissistic abuse, and more importantly, learn what you need to do now to heal from the abuse so you can start living your best life in peace, confidence, and freedom.

And if you wanna go deeper with me, go to tamiemcoaching. com and learn about my unique, tried and true process garnered over decades of experience, and learn how you can become my client.