The Perfect FNaF World Speedrun Will NEVER Exist

What if I told you that there's a FNAF World speedrun that is destined to never exist? A run so statistically improbable, so utterly time-conuming in order to come to fruition that the sun will have engulfed the Earth and all of humanity would cease to exist before its completion. Galaxies would collide into each other and every single star in the universe would have exhausted its fuel before only one full attempt could be finished of this Goofy Freddy Fazbear RPG.

But for a game that can be speedrun and completed in a little over 10 minutes across multiple categories, how could it take this long to be achieved? Well, you see, hundreds of people over the years have completed many speedruns of FNAF World and optimized the game tremendously, whether it be a long category like 157% or one that only takes a little over 10 minutes like an update 2 normal mode speedrun. For all this activity, however, there resides one category on the leaderboard so inconsistent that no runner has ever dared to attempt it seriously.

Yet, with only one unassuming character, it has the ability to produce the theoretical perfect FNAF World speedrun and complete the game in under 10 minutes. The only problem, the odds of success are so incomprehensible and so improbable that no human will live to see its completion. This is the perfect FNAF World speedrun that will never exist.

Kotawatari is a Japanese term that roughly translates to the relentless pursuit of perfection. And it's a lifestyle that John Dud wants to embody tremendously. You see, Jon is a bit of a loser.

By day, he slaps his belly and turtles to Vtuber clips on his computer. And by night, he reflects on the teachings of his wise sensei. Jon definitely has no life.

But something he does have is a game theory. You see, Jon wants to enact this pursuit of perfection and complete a FNAF World unscrew normal mode speedrun in which you defeat the eight mandatory bosses the game has to offer until it abruptly ends after the security fight, finishing the run. While other categories may involve you needing to play a Halloween miniame to get a character that can shred through all the bosses, like an update 2 normal mode speedrun, this one is special in the fact that it allows the use of an otherwise banned move, unscrew.

This move is banned in normal speedruns because when used, it essentially has the ability to instakill any boss in the game, which could skip needing to play any long Halloween miniame and potentially provide the world's first sub 10-minute FNAF World speedrun. Sure, the move only has an incredibly small chance to actually land an instakill a boss. But since Jon has no life, he has all the time in the world to speedrun FNAF World until he gets a flawless run where he hits the first try unscrew every single time.

He's so determined in his pursuit of perfection that he even changed his name to John Unscrew and dawned a wholly new persona. This strategy technically would be possible and give him a world record. So, how likely would it be for John Unscrew to get this flawless speedrun?

Well, in my eyes, a perfect speedrun of any game requires two things. Perfect RNG and a perfect human being. Though, we're only going to focus on the odds right now since Jon also has a crippling online gambling addiction and only cares about the numbers.

Some may call this projection, but I call it a character flaw. Anyways, to get this theoretical playthrough of FNAF World, there are three bits of RNG that all need to go right to make the perfect speedrun. The first of which is unlocking everyone's favorite animatronic, JJ.

Yeah, that's right. I got you, didn't I? You see, since Jon is playing in adventure mode instead of fixed party for the speedrun, he'll need to actually unlock a character with unscrew first, as none of the starting characters possess the move.

For a perfect speedrun, JJ is easily our best candidate. She's one of the few unlockable characters with the move found in the starting area, Fazbear Hills. And compared to her peers that also possess the move, she has the least amount of health in her character encounter, so she'll die pretty quickly.

Without the fine characters chip though, we only have a 20% chance to even get a character encounter after every overworld battle. And thanks to DJ Surf's research on character unlock odds, we know that JJ will show up 25. 91% of the time in Fazbear Hills.

Combining these two percentages means Jon Unscrew needs to hit a 1 in19. 3 chance at the start of his speedrun to unlock JJ after only his first battle. Being honest though, I would have preferred unlocking a different character instead of JJ.

Maybe someone like Shadow Freddy cuz he's so awesome and black. >> Shadow Freddy awesome and black. >> Anyways, unlocking JJ is definitely Jon's easiest bit of RNG to hit in the run, as our next category takes this run from Weenie Hut Juniors to the Salty Splatoon.

And what does it involve? >> Money. >> Now, I won't go into exactly why we need money for this perfect speedrun yet, but we're somehow going to need to get our big meaty claws on 100 Faz tokens.

With the best possible luck though, the quickest way to do this is to roll a golden money chest on the overworld twice in a row, as each one gives us 50 tokens for a total of 100. We'd optimally want them to spawn on this money tile, as it's located at our spawn at the start of the run, except that there are 25 potential money chest spawns on the overworld. And every time you reload the map, only one of these will be chosen to spawn a gold money chest.

That means for John Unscrew to get one twice in a row, he'd need to hit a 1 in 625 chance. And adding this to what he already needs to do would mean he now has to hit a 1 in 12,62 chance. For reference, encountering a full odd shiny Pokemon in generations 1 through 5 is a 1 in 8,192 chance.

And getting a slime staff in Terraria usually has a 1 in 10,000 drop chance. Keep in mind, Jean's going to have to hit this absurdly low chance within like only the first minute of his speedrun. But oh, this isn't even the worst part.

I mean, we haven't even considered that to defeat the eight mandatory bosses in this speedrun, JJ will have to hit eight first try unscrews in a row. Each one of these eight unscrews requires a 1 in60 or a 1. 67% chance to land, giving us a probability of roughly 5.

95 * 10 to the power of -15. But oh no, as this is the perfect speedrun, JJ also needs to attack first on the team every single battle to be as quick as possible. And since which party member moves first in a boss fight is seemingly random, this means we also have to land a 1 in4 chance for JJ to move first every single fight, changing our 1 in60 odds of a perfect fight to a 1 in 240 every single time.

So, let's say hypothetically you have a flawless FNAF World speedrun where you get JJ right after your first overworld battle, hit two gold money chests back to back, and have JJ move first and instakill all eight bosses first try. It would roughly be a 1 in 132. 86illion chance.

Not million, not billion, not trillion. A 1 in 132. 86illion chance.

But you want to know the best part? If we convert these odds to time and say each attempt takes about 1 minute, if you attempted this perfect FNAF World Sputeron non-stop without taking breaks or sleeping, it would take you on average about 251. 6 quadrillion years.

Jon's crew is not only going to be 6 ft under by the time this run gets completed. Him and the rest of humanity WILL CEASE TO EXIST. In 5 billion years, it's estimated that the sun will run out of fuel and engulf Earth in its expansion.

We will never live to see this speedrun be completed. I want you all to know that I had to calculate these crazy numbers by hand since they're so big that any cucultor would probably explode upon typing it in. And if I use chat GBT to compute my answer, it would have resulted in the burning of a local rainforest.

This might be the first time a FNAF YouTuber has actually used their brain for something that isn't could you stuff a child inside of Toy Chica or what happens to your boobies during a spring lock failure. So, if you want to support all this math I did, I'd appreciate it a ton if you could like the video and subscribe to the channel. It may take 251.

6 quadrillion years to do this speedrun, but it only takes a second to support the channel. Thanks. Wait, why the DID I WATCH THIS VIDEO?

OKAY. OKAY. This speedrun might take 251.

6 quadrillion years to come to fruition, but there may be a method for us to see what John Unscrews unscrew speedrun would look like. A method used by all the great speedrunners of our time. >> That's right.

We're going to cheat. So, I decided it'd be fun to have a mod created to see just how fast this theoretical perfect speedrun would be if it happened. I may have asked somebody to make a mod for me where Unscrew hits 100% of the time and didn't explain that I would be using it to get a world record speedrun, but it's just for science after all.

I have no nefarious intentions whatsoever. So, what would this speedrun look like and how fast would it end up being? Well, we'll begin the timer after selecting yes on the character select screen.

And immediately after, press F2 on our keyboard to reset to the title screen in order to skip the Fredbear cut scene. After loading back in, if we roll our 1 in 625 chance within the first 5 seconds of gameplay, we can collect our first money chest, open and close a menu, and collect the second one while heading to Lobbit Shop in order to purchase the first two Bites. Now, at this point in the speedrun, we've got to take a pretty weird route.

I would try and get JJ after a first encounter, but the game actually has a secret mechanic in its code where you can't unlock characters until you're at least level four. The game still rolls for a character encounter no matter what. But since we're level one, we will never be placed into the battle.

To fix this issue, we'll walk towards the optional auto chipper boss while getting into one character encounter with a lone bounce pot and have our Bites take it out. If we hit our one in 19. 3 chance, we'll roll a JJ character encounter from this, even if we can't get into it yet.

From there, just go into the auto chipper fight and defeat him with our Bites. And if all goes well after this, we'll then get into a character encounter with JJ. This auto chipper fight is incredibly beneficial to us, as defeating him not only gets us to level four, which allows us to get character encounters, but bosses also have the benefit of reusing past character encounter roles when searching for new ones after their defeat.

So, since we rolled JJ's character encounter earlier, it'll reuse that information and place us into the fight. This convoluted set of steps is the reason we go out of our way to get two Bites at the start of the run, as it speeds up these fights tremendously. And something else that also speeds up the JJ fight in particular is using Toy Chica's water hose move to defeat her when she has less than 30% HP remaining.

Once you take out JJ though, all you have to do now is slap her on team one and cruise through the rest of the game. Taking out Bouncer, Brow Boy, Bubba, Pork Patch, Snow Cone, Super Goon, Overclock, and Security with the first attack first try on screw every single time. The final thing I'd like to mention about this run is something you all might be wondering about.

If this is supposed to be a perfect RNG FNAF World speedrun, why haven't you mentioned the fact that you could get unlucky and enter an unwanted overworld battle that could waste time? Well, FNAF World Speedrunners actually discovered a strategy dubbed the stutter step that involves you opening and closing a menu to reload the map at every 2cond interval. The game only rolls to give you a battle after two collective seconds of walking on the overworld.

But opening and closing a menu resets that 2cond timer and eliminates the RNG completely. This does produce a lot of load screens, but since FNAF World speedruns use in-game time, the clock always pauses during these, so no time is added. And so after removing load times from the run for a flawless FNAF World speedrun where you hit the 1 in 132.

8 Sexilian chance for perfect RNG, you'd end up with a final time of 9007. 97. And with the speedrun crafted where I modded in the best possible luck, there was only one thing I could do now.

I submitted it to speedrun. com to claim my world record. >> Hey guys, it's me, the Dapper Dram.

I uh got caught cheating my FNAF World speedrun. I accidentally put on a mod they gave me perfect on screw rates and I I don't know how I mistakenly enabled it. To clear my name, I'll be selling an overpriced plushy you can buy that looks like something you'd shove up your butt.

And I'll also be streaming in June to raise money for Pride Month. Except I'll also accidentally forget to stream until the very last day. Okay.

Okay. I I know I just dogged on Dram, but apparently he's also got a Dram Smile Club yearly subscription service for his very own merch store. This gives you access to membersonly merch.

So, you are actively giving him money in order for you to give him even more money. Therefore, I've decided to follow in his footsteps and make a the Dapper Waffle Waffle Club membership for my merch store where if you subscribe to it, you'll gain access to membersonly items like Dapper Waffle bras, Dapper Waffle Erns, Dapper Waffle Pregnancy Test. Okay.

Okay. Dapper Waffle Pregnancy Tests aside, this doesn't change the fact that Jon Unscrew will have definitely already died and met the Grim Reaper long ago by the time this run legitimately gets completed. But at least he'd carry on in the afterlife and finally breach FNAF World's sub 10-minute barrier 251.

6 quadrillion years later. Wait, John Unscrew will have met the grim reaper. Oh no, Jon's not done playing FNAF World yet.

I mean, 251. 6 six quadrillion years is only a drop in the bucket compared to the time it would take for a faster perfect RNG run with the Reaper instead. John Unscrews gone through a bit of a makeover after completing his flawless Unscrew speedrun as after a quick shopping spree at his local Hot Topic, he now dons the persona of Jon Reaper.

Now, Jon is definitely going through a phase, but what Jon is also going through is the pursuit of perfection. And after looking at his perfect RNG Unscrew run, he just isn't too happy about it. It's got a couple problems.

Mainly that in this quote unquote flawless RNG run, there's still some randomness in the overworld and auto chipper battles not accounted for, but also the fact that it takes over a minute to unlock JJ in the first place. Thankfully, there is one other method of instakkilling that doesn't involve a character and instead takes advantage of Lobit's instakill reaper bites that can be purchased in dusting fields. These guys all throw sights that have a chance to instakill bosses, which could theoretically alleviate the need for JJ entirely.

Using the cheapest reaper would still require rolling the 1 in 625 chance to get the two gold money chest for the 100 gold to buy it. But using it would skip the overworld battle, auto chipper fight, and JJ fight entirely. The only problem is that each one only has a 1/ half chance to throw a scythe at every possible opportunity.

And that scythe instakkilling is only a 1 in 2,000 chance. This means for the perfect speedrun to instakill all eight bosses as quickly as possible, we have to hit a 1 in4,000 chance 8 times in a row. For comparison, that's about the same chance of finding a full odd shiny Pokémon in generation six and above.

EIGHT TIMES IN A ROW. THIS MEANS THAT TO GET A BEST possible luck FNAF World speedrun with this quicker reaper route, it would be a 1 in4960 octillion chance. And converting this to years with the same math as last time, the average time it would take to achieve this perfect FNAF World speedrun would be a little over 77 septillion years.

77 septillion years for the perfect FNAF World speedrun. You know, I don't even think it's possible for anyone to truly comprehend how long of a time this is. I mean, if I spent a billion lifetimes dedicating myself to attempting this perfect Reaper speedrun non-stop, I'm not even making a dent in the 77 septillion years it'd take to accomplish.

Honestly, you probably can't even tell which number changed on screen anyways unless I highlight it myself. It's that incomprehensible of a number. For reference, if you spent 251.

6 quadrillion years to achieve the previous perfect speedrun with JJ, that would only be around 0. 00001% of the time required to achieve this perfect Reaper route speedrun. And so, for all this added time required to achieve this new perfect speedrun, how much time does it save over the old route?

30 seconds. 77 Septillion years, all for 30 seconds of time save. Yeah.

So, it turns out that while getting the Reaper cuts out the overworld, auto chipper, and JJ fights, the Reaper ends up taking longer to instakill every fight compared to a best possible luck on Screw, which ends up making the Reaper route only a little over 30 seconds faster, giving us a final time of 825. 84 after removing loads. John Reaper has spent 77 septillion years all for 30 seconds of time save.

By the time we get to 77 septillion years into the future, our Milky Way galaxy will have collided and merged with the Andromeda galaxy. Every single star in the cosmos will have exhausted its fuel and begin to die out. And our entire universe will become a cold, dark, and desolate place filled with only black dwarfs, Wheatly, and black holes.

John Reaper has watched all life in our universe die out and all he got in compensation is a sub 9-minute FNAF world speedrun. But the worst part is even after the 77 septillion years of play time to achieve this run within the math there's one all-encompassing variable we never accounted for. One variable in the calculations we chose to ignore that makes this quote unquote perfect speedrun a complete lie.

a variable beyond the game itself, >> John. The final problem in the equation, the final hurdle in your pursuit of perfection is you. At the beginning of this video, I mentioned there were two factors that make a perfect speedrun.

Perfect RNG and a perfect human being. But the phrase perfect human being is an oxymoron, is it not? I mean, think about it.

If after all this time, Jon realized he was finally getting the best possible RNG on a FNAF World speedrun attempt, do you think he'd be a little nervous, a little terrified as to not throw away this golden opportunity? 77 septillion years in the making, Jon tries to not let this fear quell him and instead tries to focus on his gameplay, but something goes wrong. Maybe his nerves cause him to misclick buying the Reaper bite, or he hits his W key to move up on the overworld two frames later than what would have been faster.

No matter what it is, somewhere in this run, Jon is bound to mess up his execution on something. Anything. To get a perfect FNAF World speedrun, Jon would not only need flawless RNG, but would also need to play without a single mistake, no matter how minute or minuscule it may be, which is infinitely more improbable than anything the game could ever provide.

Shawn ends up finishing the run knowing he's the sole reason this opportunity for a perfect FNAF World speedrun never came into fruition. 77 Septillion years, all for nothing at all. You know, Jon's been changing his appearance this whole time in his pursuit of perfection.

But no matter what persona you dawn or what title you desire, your humanity will always cause a crack within the mask. You're only human, and in a game full of random factors, the only thing that is absolute is the fact that you will make mistakes. You may think the reason the perfect FNAF World speedrun will never exist is because the game's RNG is too absurd to make it happen, but that's not the true cause.

The cold hard truth is as simple as this. The perfect FNAF World speedrun will never exist because you will never be perfect. But that's the beauty of it all, is it not?

Wabishabi is a Japanese term about finding beauty and perfection in imperfection. And I think it encapsulates the art of speedrunning beautifully. Speedrunning has and always will be about the pursuit of self-improvement.

It's a journey of failure, persistence, and triumph where you faltered before to improve yourself. But that journey would simply never exist if we could execute flawless, unbeatable speedruns. There'd be no stories to tell or competitions at the top or crazy pop-offs to watch if faults and failure never existed.

In fact, I believe that the art of speedrunning itself would cease to exist if our human element of imperfection never existed. Sure, it's never fun to make mistakes in a run, but it's a necessary evil to keep the art alive. So, the fact that there's always something, anything we can improve upon, no matter how minuscule it may be, is what makes speedrunning so great.

Jon will never get the perfect FNAF World speedrun. But that only means that as long as his spark of passion is there, there is always something he can work towards, something he can always improve and something he can always be proud of. The warm, comforting truth for Jon is as simple as this.

The perfect FNAF World speedrun will never exist because you will never be perfect. And that's okay.