Being hot is not enough. It's not. And I know that's totally counterintuitive to the whole point of this channel, but I have to be honest, it's true.
Yes, being better looking than the average, it gets you some attention. It opens some doors for you, but it won't keep you there. But there are a few things that are way, way, way, way more important if you want to achieve elite level attraction.
Why do I know this? Well, because I used to be a male model. And I know that there's thousands upon thousands of models out there that are extremely lonely.
And I know some of them. They're stuck wondering what's the missing piece. Well, if you're one of those lonely models out there watching this, you're in luck cuz I'm going to reveal to you the missing pieces right now.
Now, usually I tell you about all the books I've read on psychology or the seminars that I've attended to establish my social proof, my authority bias. But instead, I'm going to give you something much better. undebatable insights from my own lived experience.
Here are the real factors that create true attraction. Number one, interested over interesting. Everybody wants to be interesting and to be perceived as cool.
Do Saki's the most interesting man in the world. You know, having all these cool stories, hanging out with beautiful women, yada yada yada. Doesn't really work so well in the real world.
Yes, it feels good to feel like people think you're interesting, but this feeling is fleeting for both parties. It's soon forgotten. But what's really true in reality is this.
People won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how you made them feel. And the best way to make people remember how they felt around you is by making them feel seen, making them feel important. Everybody's favorite thing to talk about is themselves.
So instead of trying to leave a cool impression and share all the interesting things going on in your life to make yourself seem so great, instead engage with curiosity and interest in what this person has going on in their life. When you're speaking to them, ask questions that you truly want to know the answer to. Nod in agreement and react to what they're saying to let them know that you're truly paying attention.
Hold eye contact and use facial expressions to make them aware that you're fully engaged in the conversation and what they're saying. and ask lots of questions. Questions that you truly want to know the answer to.
One of my favorites that I use all the time is I just say, "What was your experience with that? " "Oh, I went to UNC. " "Oh, wow.
How was your experience with that? " "Oh, you know, we went to Europe last year on a family trip. " "Oh, wow.
How was your experience with that? " Be interested, not interesting. Number two, self amusement.
Life is lived moment to moment. So, might as well try to enjoy each moment as much as possible. And this is when self amusement comes in.
You're not going to always be in some awesome, crazy, cool environment. So sometimes the joy, the pleasure, the amusement has to come from right here, from you. When you can hype yourself up and create your own high frequency, you become an entity of fun.
You become this title wave of positive energy that people want to ride. You'll notice when you're out at the bars or the clubs or wherever that the guys that have the most girls following them around are the ones that just are giving off this cool fun energy unless they bought a table at the club or something. Positive energy knows where it's going, but it makes room for others to join.
So, some of the ways I used to utilize this back in my single days when we're out approaching girls, you know, you get rejection. It happens all the time. You just laugh it off.
You go back to your boys and you just laugh and it becomes hilarious. You just say, "Swing miss. on to the next one.
Or we're at the bodega, you know, the corner store, and we're literally flirting with the middle-aged cashier saying, "How you doing, sweetie? " And then when you're when you're walking away, you say, "Thanks, honey. " You know, just little stupid like this just to raise the vibe and raise the level of enjoyment and amusement.
And it's absolutely contagious. And people want a piece of the pie. They want in on it.
Number three, last but not least, amplification. We all have some core traits, some pure characteristics that we are completely known by. When people think of us, they attribute maybe two or three characteristics to our person.
And the most charismatic people in the world are imperfect. They're chaotic and completely unique. Ranging from mysterious, quiet studs like Killian Murphy to outlandish like Conor McGregor.
And here's the trick. You want to think, if I was to melt me down to its very core, what is left over? What traits?
What characteristics? Am I funny? Am I cocky?
Am I shy? Am I obnoxious? What are these traits?
And science shows that in most cases, by the time you're 25 years old, you are pretty much the person who you're going to be or you have your main personality traits developed. Now, you just need to find out what those are and turn up the volume on those and drop everything else that are not your core traits. If you're always trying to be the funny guy or trying to be like this guy or the other, cut that out cuz you can't be them.
Cuz once you're you, no one else can be you. So, if you have to ask your friends, hey man, what do you think about what do you think of me? Like, what are the traits?
You know, ask your parents, your brother, sister, or even sit there and just be introspective and think for yourself. I'm sure you can come up with it. You have a general idea.
find out what those few are. For me, I'm goofy. I am intelligent in certain aspects.
So, I take those couple traits and I turn them up all the way. I talk about these things that I know about a lot. I emphasize being goofy and I don't hold back on being goofy and silly and being a bit of a jackass to some degree.
And I let go of the other stuff. I let go of trying to be mysterious or trying to be political or any of these other things cuz it's just simply not me as much as I would love that to be. So figure out who you are at your very core and turn the volume up to 10.
