Welcome I am the professor Dante Salazar and I'm here to solve all doubts that your incompetent teachers can't Today I received a letter from the little Luis Jaimito "Dear Professor Salazar: I don't like my elder brother, Lenin. He's too. .
. Intense. .
. " To begin with, he calls me "comrade" since I can remember He always take away my candy and all my nice stuff because he says everyone has to have the same. "Hey!
! Give it back It's mine" That's imperialism, comrade. It just feed the inequality of capitalism.
You better play with the toys of proletariat ". . .
and everytime I argue he shots a speech that last for hours and hours and make you wish you were dead" Yours? ! Yours, comrade?
! The capitalist greed is blinding you You are forgetting we all are equal! !
In the word of Marx Forget it. . .
. . - Capital is dead labour, that, vampire-like, only lives by sucking living labour - Next time will be Gulag!
! ". .
. and he spends his time hearing horrible anthems, watching rare movies and gathering to talk about politics with his. .
. "comrades" A hippie, a fossil, another intense guy, a fat dude and an ugly hag" - The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win.
Working Men of All Countries, Unite! ". .
. Besides. .
. . they smell He always talk about the "real Lenin" and the October Revolution to which we owe everything, and how the communism was the best that could happen to the world My question is: Those were really better times, or is my brother just a jerk?
I hope you can help me. Sincerely, Luis Jaimito Well, Luis Jaimito, the real Lenin is without a doubt one of the most important figures in modern history. So important that a picture of him as baby were launched into space by russians - Which one is that, daddy?
- It's baby Lenin, sonny. Baby Lenin. Yeah.
Lenin is my hero! Because he emerged from proletariat, the most vulnerable classes, and faced the disgusting capitalists. He put them in place!
! Glory to the People! Glory!
! Well, not exactly. Actually, Lenin did not came from the vulnerable classes in Russia Vladimir Ilich Ulianov.
Lenin for friends. Born in 1870 in a middle class family which, although not really wealthy, lived comfortably in the czarist Russia. Lenin was a brilliant boy.
Played chess and learned languages. Sorry to interrupt your latin classes, baby Lenin, but I got something to tell you. Tell me, daddy.
For you got all the time in the world. Baby Lenin, you've grown big and strong like Siberian Pine. I'm so proud of you.
Nothing will tear us apart. Nothing. You're my best friend.
But, in 1886, Lenin's father died due to a stroke NO! ! FATHER!
CURSE YOU, GOD! ! I RENOUNCE TO YOU!
! Baby Lenin is dead. From now on I'll be Dark Lenin A young with erratic behaviour and defiant with the authority.
Though still a good student with aptitude for debate and oratory. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. What he said.
Lenin became a little. . .
intense. Especially when his brother, member of a radial group, introduced him to the works of Marx and communist ideology The tyranny of the bourgeois classes over proletariat cannot be tolerated. Very well.
I'm so proud of you, brother. Your oratory abilities and your defiant attitude before authority will take you far away in this life. Thanks, big brother.
You're my best friend. And you're mine as well, Dark Lenin. Now, I'll go.
Don't wait for me to dinner. I'm gonna use this book shaped bomb to kill the Czar. Lenin's brother were arrested for trying to assassinate the Czar and later hanged for treason.
This define the personality of Lenin for the years to come, and his posture against russian government CURSE YOU, CZAR! ! I will dedicate my life, as well as my oratory abilities and my defiant attitude before authority, to overthrown this empire and establish the justice for proletariat!
LENIN! ! And so Lenin began his political career As college student he joined radical socialist groups.
Participated on assemblies and protests, took part on political debates, denounced the czarist government and spoke in favour of russian people. And look that the russians really needed help. Russia were an enormous empire, but their situation were very unfavorable.
The constant freezes and droughts caused famines and diseases The people were scattered in a giant and hostile territory There were no employment, the population were almost totally illiterate and technologically speaking, were very belated. Almost everyone peasants, they lived in medieval-near conditions Russia was without a doubt one of the poorest countries in the world. How poor?
! We're so poor we can't pay attention We're so poor that women get pregnant just to have something in the belly We're so poor, smugglers sneak into our houses just for practice. We're so poor we have to eat the hay in our houses roofs.
That's not funny! But it's true. Although, It wasn't the same for russian aristocracy.
Russian czars have ruled as emperors for the last 300 years and it's nothing out of normal that ideas from rebellious men like Lenin make them mad Mad enough to exile him out of the country in 1895 I'll be back! ! At the beginning of the 20th century, Russia were in charge of czar Nikolai II, heir of the great Romanov dynasty A line of powerful rulers to whom, well, he did not make too much honor.
Nikolai inherited a tired and angry country devastated by poverty. And that, added to the fact he did not wanted to be czar, made everything much more complicated. That and the fact he was the least popular czar in the history People of Russia: I know I don't like you and you think I'm evil for sending you every time to Siberia, and for living in a palace with 1500 rooms when you have to make row during 18 hours for a cold potato But I got the solution.
Will you feed us? Even better. We're going into war with Japan.
And when I say we, I mean you. Together we're gonna gonna show that Russia is the best country in the planet. Win and bring me back souvenirs It's that or I'll send you to Siberia.
Hail to the Czar! ! The Russians marched prideful, but they were in disadvantage against the most modern and better equipped japanese navy The 1905 russian defeat were shameful, the discontent were general and the crisis just got worse.
Strikes, standstills and protests began everywhere. the nonconformists grew in number and the repression got harder. It took nine years to Nikolai II for think up another solution.
People of Russia: I know I still don't like you and you're still upset for the Japan thing, and because I play badminton while you work 25 hours in a row in a dirty mine. . .
. and, besides, you got an evil monk for counselor. Yeah.
That too. But I got the solution to all our problems We're going to enter in the First World War "First" means there's gonna be another one? We don't know.
The case is: You're going to kill germans and to put in highest the name of Russia. But I thought the japanese already showed we are a bunch of idiots. But happened because it was by sea.
This one is by land. You'll see. Everything will be fine.
We got a rifle for every 15 people. So you will have to share. Russia got into the First World War in 1914.
and get dragged for years into a conflict that seemed to go nowhere. In 1916, the czar travelled to the front in order to command the war himself, But with his non-existent military knowledge he just got everything worse. That was the drop that spilled the glass for russian people.
In 1917 the discontent was general, and in February that year the revolution broke out. REVOLUTION! !
A series of massive marches to which every society sector joined. ♫ Everyone in Russia is angry. There's strikes everywhere ♫ ♫ So they went to Petrograd and the revolution broke out!
The revolution broke out! ! ♫ ♫ All the russians went to march.
To overthrown the Czar ♫ ♫ The farmers ♫ ♫ The Working Men ♫ ♫ The hungry ladies ♫ ♫ and their husbands ♫ ♫ Zangief ♫ ♫ and everyone else ♫ ♫ Broke out the February Revolution ♫ REVOLUTION! ! And when "everyone else" is said, it means it.
The czar's soldiers joined to the protests in Petrograd, what left the emperor out of options. A few days after the February 26th revolution, Nikolai II, who was trapped in in the front fighting the germans, were forced to abdicate. Czar!
Abdicate! And leave a filth in the family's name? Renounce to a 300 years long dynasty?
Take to an end one of the most powerful empires on earth? YES! !
OK. Where do I sign? The fall of the czar marked a new beginning for Russia.
The workers organized self-controlled governments called Soviets. Democratic assemblies where everyone can took part. For the first time, russian people could decide on itself.
Or. . .
almost. Because, then, a provisional government was created. Formed by the czarist assembly and headed by the politician Alexandr Kerensky The Kerensky's government was not different from the czarist one Protected the aristocracy interests and it not shared the idea of Soviets about giving all the power to the people which bring back unconformity and confrontation to Russia.
And, at this point, you may be asking: Where was Lenin? You'll see, little girl. Though handicaped, your friend Clarita is a disgusting capitalist, oppressor of the working class That is you Ah.
Yeah, Lenin. Lenin was exiled in Switzerland, but when he took notice 'bout the fall of the czar, decide to back to Russia. Something not very easy, because Europe was still at war and the traveling routes were controlled.
But Lenin found some help in the least awaited place. Behind the walls of this armoured train wagon there is the most powerful weapon among all. The one which will leave Russia out of the move in the First World War.
"First" means there's gonna be other? We don't know. Now, behold the greater source of chaos created by human race A bunch of rebellious and unruly vandals Send them to the heart of Russia.
And don't open the wagon until it arrives. We don't want them to organize one of their General Assemblies in our lands. Germany permitted Lenin and other russian exiled went back to their motherland hoping for their presence to destabilize Kerensky's government.
and weaken the russian front in the Great War. And, of course, it worked, because just arriving, Lenin dedicated to do. .
. What he can do best. Use my oratory abilities to show my defiant attitude before authority So then started a massive propaganda campaign to spread the communist ideal in Russia Lenin thought the russians got in their hands the chance to establish the true revolution throw down the social classes and finally give root to the ideals of marxism Correction: The ideals of marxism were not the same as Lenin's Actually, the communism proposed by Marx.
. . Wait a moment, Dungy Fat!
You're right. But you're not the best to explain this. For this, I brought one of my former students Bollocks!
! No one is better than me, who have read all the Marx's works seven times in original german just as the unpublished drafts of the works by Marx and Engels None of your mediocre elementary students could. .
. Go on, Charlie Many thanks, Dante. What's with that chubby?
Ahm. . .
Ignore him. You were saying. .
. Yep. When I write about the Class Conflict I was very specific about communist revolution could only be successful in developed countries I established the Class Conflict was to be between the bourgeois class, that is the holders of the means of production like merchants and owners of factories against the Working Class, workers of the industry But in Russia there were neither.
Instead bourgeoises there was an out-of-date- aristocracy and, more than working men, there were lots of farmers scattered in a vast land and, well, just look at them We're so poor I don't even know what is a mean of production. That was a joke? I don't know anymore To me revolution has to start in the industry, which was to pass to the hands of proletariat producing economic balance.
But in Russia there were nothing of this. Is was impossible according to my approaches But it seems Lenin didn't care about it. He changed my statements He even called Russia was a place where the true communist revolution has to happen, and he called it marxism-leninism That's the truth Oh.
Master Marx, your work has inspired my whole life. I'd like to expose to you some of my thoughts. If sin ends as a concept of pure dominion, as it manufactures guilt and lamentation that does not end in this life or the next, the world is meaningless.
And in the impossibility of granting one the best is to collapse everything that is useless to let nothing happen. And that's my thesis. So, going with the approaches of dialectic materialism, Master Marx, which one you think could be the antithesis?
My antithesis is "Go to hell, you fat! I'm going out of here. Marx representing Mother Russia.
Peace, bitches. With marxism-leninism gaining strength, Kerensky's government was less and less popular among population Especially when he decided to send more troops to the World War Russians were tired of dying in a useless war They were not pleased with the decision, so once more gathered in the streets to protest POWER TO THE PEOPLE! And they were shot The provisional government choose the violent repression and started to chase the opponents Everyone waited for Lenin to appear, raise his voice and lead the masses against the oppressors But, in fact, he wore a costume and escaped to Finland in train.
Like wayward girl Have you seen this man? Don't Ok. Sorry to bother.
Have you been told you got pretty eyes Oh! Officer, you are a scamp! Actually, his real costume was this one But it's more funny like this In Russia, people were not disposed to return to czarist repression So they took arms again and rose in a new revolution REVOLUTION!
One encouraged by Lenin from his exile in Finland Defeat the disgusting capitalist. Kill for the proletariat. I will watch you.
. . from here Yes.
And that's how still in 1917 began the October Revolution The revolutionary troops advanced over the Winter Palace hoping to arrest Kerensky and the other members of provisional government Sounds easier than it is because the revolutionaries didn't take in count the 1500 rooms of the palace. You won't escape. I know you're behind of any of these 1500 doors You're here!
! No. Not here Next one.
You pervert! They went that way RUN! They were never been found Kerensky and his men managed to escape.
And his flight marked the triumph of the revolution Besides, they found something better The Wine Cellar of the Czar The revolutionaries emptied the legendaries wine cellars of the Romanov The whole city celebrated with alcohol in one of the most epic drinking parties of history. Next day, Lenin returned to Russia to consolidate the success of the October Revolution Comrades, I'm back. Victory is finally ours!
Now begins the government of proletariat. It's a nice day to see this nation bloom Stop yelling, you bald. Oh.
My head aches Because the most epic drinking in history has to to be succeded by the most epic hangover in history. Yes. The new Russia begun with a great hangover Lenin and the revolutionaries seized the power They distribute lands to farmers, strengthened the Soviets and engaged literacy campaigns throughout the country Settled the terrain for the next step to be taken by new free Russia.
Democratic elections Lenin, leading the Bolshevik Party, summoned to the election of an Assembly which represented the interest of all citizens Comrades, the time has come to establish the socialist order, justice and equality. Vote for the Bolsheviks. We listen to you.
Always. For the sake of a free and democratic nation. Note the emphasis in "Liberty" and "Democracy".
. . "Liberty and Democracy" But.
. . Lenin and the Bolsheviks lost the election in the Assembly Ok.
It's clear that you don't know what's the best for you. I do. So, now, we'll do as I say.
And just I. . .
and maybe little Leon And what about the liberty and democracy? Traitor to the revolution! Shoot him!
! Lenin dissolved the assembly and gave all the power to the bolsheviks. The clash between political groups started.
Lenin and the Bolshevik who wanted a socialist system and the opposites, the Mensheviks, less radical and who opted for capitalism But Lenin, with his oratory abilities and his bright personality managed to unite everyone and established the communist system Well, was that and the use of a secret police known as the Cheka to kill and make disappear anyone who oppose him Even a little Where are you taking me? I just said could look better with other beard style And now the People's Government is safe once more Chek it! Murders, exiles and disappearances by lots.
Russians were terrorized And it wasn't to long before Lenin's opponents rose in arms throughout the country under the name of White Army Yep. Because if a world war and two revolutions are not enough, now in Russian a civil war broke out. The White Army during the first years showed its superiority over Lenin's men, known now as the Red Army Their initial victories were in part for being supported by the US, France, Great Britain and some other countries who were a little scare about communism We are a little scared about communism The Whites had the intention of bring back the czarism, for Lenin's cruelty had been excessive The plan was rescue the Romanovs who were imprisoned in Yekaterinburg since the dismissal of Nikolai II But before the could arrive, the Red Army took a little advantage Romanov, we're under attack.
For your safety we will take you to that dark basement So follow us and put those blindfolds. For your protection Yeah Where are they taking us, father? Be easy, my son.
Everything is gonna be alright Let's get going Bully Magnets will keep away from making a joke about the death of the Romanov After thinking about it we realized it's a very grim and cruel situation and no joke should be made. Ok. We should have muted the audio too The civil war lasted for three violent years Lenin was even victim of a killing attempt when a opponent woman shooted him several time in chest and neck Die, Lenin!
The russian people is tired of you oratory abilities and your defiant attitude before authority Die! Die slowly! But miraculously Lenin survived Though after the attempt he became more cruel and paranoid, his health started to wither and he reached his second to last trasformation Lenin Sith Look.
There he is with a cat. Looks sinister Despite having their foreign allies, the White Army, that was too dispersed along the territory was defeated by Lenin and the Red Army in 1921 something that marked the complete victory of Bolsheviks and their communist government Lenin got no opposites left. So he was finally able to organize the dream of a socialist Russia.
He started an agrarian and industrial policy that gave fast results Russia got stronger day by day, and the possibility of the communism from becoming a great success bring the capitalist powers into fear Lenin was ready to take the great leap of spread his system to the rest of the world when. . .
Well. . .
He died. . .
Yep. . .
Totally out of climax Lenin's health got worse after the attempt and died in January 21st 1924 And now the communism would have to show all its evil or glitter in the hands of Iosif Stalin So, as you can see, Luis Jaimito, is not that the revolutionary Russia was better, but was the stage for the rise of the comunism a tremendous change that defined the rest of the 20th century and every tremendous change always has controversial characters. Like Lenin himself, whom due to his acts walks in the thin line that divide liberators from tyrants He was a courageous man and loyal with his ideals, but capable of killing thousands for the sake of them Like Mao-Tse-Tung, Fidel Castro or. .
. Bane. .
. But aside all this, your brother. .
. Your brother is really a jerk As for the real Lenin, russians wanted to turn his body into a symbol They embalmed the body and put it at exhibition for it to being admired by future generations And, who knows, maybe someday he'll be back in his last transformation. (Meanwhile, in space.
. . ) (BABY LENIN!
. . .
BABY LENIN! . .
. BABY LENIN! .
.
