Feeling Self-Doubt? How to Believe in Yourself Anyway

you walking around the world as a fully alive human being who is passionate and unapologetic about going for all your dreams that has an energetic ripple effect that is healing hey it's marie forleo and welcome to another episode of the marie forleo podcast and marietv the place to be to create a business and life you love and notice i said a life you love not one that you tolerate not one that you're getting through but one you genuinely love and we're going back to something we love to do which is q a tuesday and today's

question comes from yulia hi marie it's me julia from germany my question is i want to believe in me more without having the results yet in i'm struggling with being paralyzed by fear of oh my god my finances um are not where they should be and i don't feel secure on the other hand i know what i'm capable of i know my strengths but there is a gap um and the gap is believing in me so how can i help myself believe in me more even when the results are not in thank you so much

i love you bye julia thank you so much for making the time and by the way thank you for your question so i have to say this when uh myself and team porlio we were looking at all the videos we were like oh my goodness we love julia like your energy and your presence we were just like yes we we have to talk with you thank you so much so i wanted to say your question about confidence right and about feeling like there is this gap and it is about confidence it's something that all of

us can relate to i've certainly experienced it i know so many people in our audience have and i just want to thank you for being brave and for talking about it um so there's so much that i have to share i might ask you some questions along the way but one of the first things i wanted to just bring to this conversation is that gap between your ambition and your achievement that is something that we are all always experiencing because we're all always in transition right between something that we want to create and the actual

experience of it being in reality yes and i want to invite you to consider that confidence isn't actually what you need and it's not what you're lacking true what i believe from my point of view is that you need to take more action massive action i'm going to give you a little mantra that you can try on and play with but this is something that has helped me so much i love you that you're going to write this down because that's how i do everything and it helps me train this brain of mine so starve

your doubts feed your dreams starve your doubts feed your dreams when we talk about doubts which are really a subset of fear the fear that we're not good enough that we don't have what it takes and i love that in your question you also said you know there's this other side of me that knows i'm really capable that absolutely feels it's on its way but this self-doubt is kind of keeping me in this place i always think of things in terms of energy and vibration and the more energy and attention you give to fear or

self-doubt it's like a wolf that you feed and it gets bigger and bigger it's kind of like anything in life right if we feed it if we give it energy it continues to build on itself and the action of fear is always to create more fear so it's a very low vibration and it can pull you in and it can feel overwhelming and all-encompassing and global like nothing is possible but the vibration i want you to stay in is the vibration of creation you know so tell me more about yes it because that is the

vibration that really honors who we really are my belief is every single one of us is a manifestation as an individual of the divine however you want to put that into life yeah yes yes that works for you i just yeah so when we're in that vibration of creation we're actually honoring the highest truth of who we are and it's the self-doubt and the fear that's the lie but that it can pull us in and make us feel like it's real so um tell me more is is the thing that is you know between your

ambition and the achievement is it your business that you're growing like what is that big dream that you're working on oh i i know deep in my my soul that financial independence just this this step is so much needed and and i'm and longed for my soul wants me to experience that yes and it came by actually working through some stuff in worksheets fun sheets and b-school the second or third time uh and i really i was i have a great life and i'm so blessed and um i have everything i had everything i don't

have a hard life but still there is something um the word independent independence and the and the experience of being truly independent um on my own terms yes there i have uh the lack i love it so look if this is the truth in your soul here's what i want to tell you and i want to tell this to everyone you know this because you're a b-schooler by the way i'm going to put a little bug in your ear i'm in the project right now we're redoing the entire program from front to back top to

bottom it will be brand new next year so you better get your butt back in the program every single piece of it is fresh and it's amazing i'm so excited and back to what you were sharing right you want that financial independence i guarantee you you can have it and look there's a lot of messages in the world and they are well intended messages that says oh don't want too much if you've got everything that you need already you should be grateful ever there's so many people that have it worse off than you for me

that's a message that squashes whatever creativity is trying to come forth that's getting us to this next level so in my opinion you have to step away from those messages it doesn't mean that you're not grateful of course you are grateful it doesn't mean you're not aware of other things of course you are and if you do not honor this desire that is in your heart to experience what financial independence means to you you are going to spiral down into fear and self-doubt because you're not honoring the truth of your soul and so the biggest

steps to take are more action action is what gets us from our ambition to our achievement and by the way this is not about overworking this is not about punishing yourself this is not about becoming a workaholic because in addition to that financial independence tell me if this is true you have also some other dreams right i'm sure you want to have great health great spirituality you want to experience your creativity you want great relationships yes so any time you notice yourself giving energy feeding the wolf of self-doubt fear i want you to take action

toward your dream whether it is your dream of financial independence and that has to do with your career or your business whether it is the dream of feeling more spiritually connected like how much more can i feel and that might mean prayer or meditation or walking in nature maybe a dream is about i even want richer and more connected relationships so it might mean you know sending a text to a friend or making them a video or making a date to go have lunch so it's not about becoming this maniac right that's right you're like

oh my gosh i have to take action every single no it's not you it's the vibration of creation that we want to stay in we want to starve those doubts and feed our dreams starve the doubts and feed the dreams yes and i it's i have two things to to to say to that or add to that um that in my case i have now just now um the thought that maybe my life um tries to train me to be not only not once don't feed the wolf but do it again and again and again

because there are a lot of setbacks there is a lot of things happening in my life happened in the past two years that were heart-wrenching um divorced and my father died and all that stuff everyone has this experience i know that and then come there come the little distractions and the big distractions and every time that your focus or my focus is it's it's gone and then i have to start again but now what i get from you is that it doesn't matter if i start again it's not starting again it's keeping keeping what i

already did that's right and here's the great thing about when you feed your dreams right when you become aware they're like oh i'm getting sucked into an old pattern of self-doubt or i just listened to this on the news media or i read something and now i feel like oh my dreams are too big or i shouldn't honor this ambition no you go now it is time to feed my dreams when you give your energy and your attention when you are in that vibration of creation there's actually no room to feed the self-doubt right so

it's not like we're resisting it and giving it energy you're literally turning your energy to a different direction then all of a sudden of course there's going to be setbacks in life of course we're all going to be knocked to our knees like it happens to all of us pretty much daily but we came in my belief to this incarnation we chose to be here at this time because we had things that we needed to learn and and part of it is about going ha i am a creator so what am i going to create

with this what do i see before me and who do i want to be in response to it do i want to shrink back and and be in that place of fear and feed that wolf or do i want to be a creator and look at it honor it and say what do i want to create with this next right and that's the practice and it's not going to be perfect it's never perfect for me but the more i stay in that vibration of creation the less time and energy i spend feeling like to be

quite honest with you it's just it's my experience too but just to get my bottom yeah like stephen fresfield said put your heart where your ass wants to be just to to get there is sometimes this where where is the energy where's the motivation to getting getting up and doing it but yes please yeah what i was going to say is that happens for all of us too and what i would invite you to do is to make a nice little list of the things that give you energy the people that when you hear their

voice read their messages if it's me if it's pressfield if it's whatever i want you to turn that on i want you to plug into it it could be music once you get that going you will find energy i'll give you an example i did this just last night it was probably around 5 30 or 6 o'clock i had done achieved a bunch of script writing hit my deadlines had a bunch of meetings and i could feel that tug to go like i'm just going to go turn on the netflix do you know what i

mean and just like veg out and order the food and i was like um there's more energy in here if i actually put myself in an environment to unleash it so i went down to my gym i did a 30-minute workout i was like oh my god it's like i have all this energy now for the rest of the night i wound up going to get all these beautiful things done again not in a punishing way it was fun and when i finally hit the bed at night it was like wow not only did i

have a super full day of knocking through my professional goals but then the whole rest of the evening became this other beautiful exploration of getting fun stuff done for the other dreams in my life so julia i want you to make that list for yourself of like i know when i do x y or z when i go get that workout in when i play this particular playlist when i listen to an episode of the marie forleo podcast or marietv you know anything that you do that reconnects you to that sense of possibility and that

energy plug yourself in because again the world likes to bring us down patterning in our bodies is like oh i'm just gonna say no of course rest when it's time for you to just chill chill but you know the difference you know the difference when you've got more tank you've got more uh gas in the tank and and you're not using it yeah it's so true and i i already have the list i know what dance just dancing yep well i'm there is a burst an explosion of energy i'm i'm i'm i i have this

huge energy you know i'm so expressive and that's right so when i veg out as you say um it's i don't understand because i have this much energy and whenever i dance or sing i'll be creative i'm i'm true i'm a creative person and i'm an artist yes um then i i uh it's glitter in the air you know and i'm laughing and i'm enjoying life and and just just some weeks ago i had this uh knowing that it's not about me personally getting to somewhere or being someone special it's about the life i'm living

and the life that i allow coming through me and that felt so relaxing in that moment it wasn't about the ego it wasn't about the persona it was just about i'm as you said it in other words at the beginning but i'm an expression of life as the creator as an of the great creator and embodying that and it's the embodiment of that as we reach these goals or these dreams that our souls keep tugging at that's where there's this incredible satisfaction and it's not about being on the hedonic treadmill where you're like oh there's

this one in this one it's like no now i get to know myself in a creator in this way now i get to know myself as a creator in this way and so i want you to hold on to that dream of financial independence and in fact i want you to turn it up right turn it up take that goal whatever it is and let's supersize it a little bit let's make it exciting to reach for let's make it fun to reach for right let's make it at such a level that you're like wow i

need to get my butt in gear in order to reach that and have fun doing it not from a place of scarcity not from here but from a place of joy and adventure yeah right right and i i miss this adventure that's right actually i miss it because it's yeah society tells us there's so much in society right now that's just like oh and you know we've all been through a really tough couple of years it's everywhere right yes and so what we need to do is respond to that with living and with joy and

with expression and adventure and again folks around us god bless them we love them but it's like we can make such a huge impact not even through our words or even through our accomplishments although those are beautiful because they can show people new possibilities but even more important is our energy and it's how we live that life and it's what you said when you dance and it's like there's glitter all around that in and of itself you walking around the world as a fully alive human being who is passionate and unapologetic about going for all

your dreams that has an energetic ripple effect that is healing healing even beyond what you create for yourself in terms of achievement when we're in that space of creation when we are living from that higher self who knows oneself as creation that has the biggest impact in the world and so anyway thank you i hope some of this has been helpful i want you to remember starve your doubts feed your dreams feed your dreams and um yeah i just i still believe in you and i'm excited to be on this journey with you and i'm

also excited and i wanted to say thank you i know you're a b-schooler you've done crappy cure you've done time genius which yeah i did back up yeah yeah it's it's uh i i really appreciate that and and i am looking forward to watching you soar and i can't wait julia to get the note in the email and the video from you that says marie i'm doing it it's happening you're at this level here's this level because i'm going to be your biggest cheerleader you are you are you already has been for many years thank

you so much marie for everything thank you did you enjoy that conversation as much as i did i sure hope so let me know all about it in the comments below and by the way if you're not yet on my email list what are you thinking you need to become an mf insider you can do that at marieforleo.com i send amazing emails i'm doing it for like 20 years and i'm damn good so don't miss out until next time stay on your game and keep going for your big dreams because the world really does need

that very special gift that only you have thank you so much for watching and i will catch you next time you're not clear on what's the single most important project that you want to focus on right now an ambiguity really is the enemy of execution