Don't Argue or Fight With Self-Entitled People, Do THIS Instead... (Stoic Approach)

it's Monday morning and Marcus a software developer walks into his office as he settles at his desk he overhears his colleague Sarah loudly complaining I can't believe they gave that project to Alex instead of me don't they know I'm the best programmer here Marcus sigh it's not the first time he's heard Sarah talk like this in fact it seems like everywhere he turns these days he's running into people who believe the world owes them something just for existing sound familiar Welcome to our exploration of self-entitled people and why according to ancient stoic wisdom you should

give them a wide birth today we're diving into a topic that's as old as Humanity itself but with a Twist we're looking at it through the lens of stoicism a practical philosophy that's been helping people navigate life's challenges for over 2,000 years but first let's get on the same page what exactly is selfish entitlement simply put it's the belief that you deserve special treatment or privileges without earning them Sarah thinks she should get every good project just because she's Sarah now you might be wondering what does a bunch of ancient Roman philosophers have to do

with dealing with entitled people in the 21st century well stick around because you're about to discover how the teachings of stoics like Marcus Aurelius epicus and senica can be your secret weapon in navigating a a world where entitlement seems to rise by the end of this video you'll have a toolbox complete with stoic strategies to one recognize entitled Behavior even in yourself yeah we're going there two understand why it's crucial to distance yourself from overly entitled people three deal with entitled individuals when you can't avoid them so grab your virtual toga and let's embark on

this stoic journey together the psychology of of self- entitlement a stoic view all right let's dive deeper into the entitled mind shall we but instead of modern psychology textbooks we're going to flip through the writings of some old school thinkers trust me these guys knew a thing or two about human nature let's start with epicus a stoic philosopher who began his life as an enslaved person and ended up as one of the most respected teachers in Rome Epic had much to say about desire and aversion two concepts at the heart of entitled Behavior he once

said he is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not but rejoices for those which he has now imagine Sarah from our intro taking this advice to Heart instead of griping about the project she didn't get she might appreciate the skills and opportunities she already has however entitled people often do the opposite they focus on what they think they deserve rather than what they actually have this brings us to an important stoic principle virtue for The stoics Virtue wasn't about being a goody two shoes it was about living in

harmony with nature and reason they believed that virtue made up of wisdom Justice courage and self-control was the only true good now contrast this with entitled Behavior an entitled person person might say I deserve this because I want it while a stoic would ask is wanting this in line with virtue does it make me wiser more just courageous or self-controlled let me share a story about one of my favorite stoics Emperor Marcus Aurelius despite being the most powerful man in the world Marcus constantly struggled against entitlement in his personal Journal later published as meditations he

often reminded himself not to be corrupted by his position there's an anecdote about Marcus dealing with entitled Senators these guys thought they deserved special treatment just because they were well Senators but Marcus drawing on his stoic training treated them like any other citizen he famously said if you are distressed by anything external the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it and this you have the power to revoke at any moment moment in essence Marcus was saying look I can't control these Senators entitled Behavior but I can control my

reaction to it and that my friends is stoicism in a nutshell so what can we learn from this stoic view of entitlement first focusing on what we lack rather than what we have is a recipe for misery second that true worth comes from virtue not what we think the world owes us and finally while we can't control others entitled Behavior we always have control over our response to it in our next segment we'll look at how to spot entitled Behavior using some age-old stoic wisdom it involves a guy named senica and a bunch of wannabe

philosophers stay tuned recognizing self-entitled Behavior through a stoic lens now that we've delved into the psychology of entitlement let's talk about about how to spot it in the wild and who better to guide us than Sena the OG of calling out fake philosophers senica was a wealthy Roman Statesman and stoic philosopher who had a knack for seeing through people's pretenses in one of his letters he writes about encountering a group of people who claimed to be philosophers but were really just entitled braggards he says men who have made philosophy their choice yet do not shape

their conduct to their professions are are no better than those people who own doctors but never follow their prescriptions boom senica just dropped the mic on entitled Behavior so according to our stoic philosophers what are some key traits of self-entitled individuals one they believe they're special and deserve privileges without earning them two they have difficulty accepting criticism or admitting mistakes three they often blame others for their problems four they have unrealistic expectations of others and the world around them five they struggle with empathy and considering others perspectives now let's time travel back to ancient Rome

for a moment picture K the younger a Roman Senator known for his unwavering principles Kato was famous for standing up against corruption and entitlement in Roman politics even when it made him unpopular there's a story about Kato refusing to participate in a traditional practice where candidates for office would bribe voters with free grain while other politicians felt entitled to win by any means necessary Kato stuck to his principles he lost the election but kept his Integrity intact this story illustrates a crucial Point entitled Behavior often masquerades as confidence or ambition but there's a key difference

between healthy self-esteem and harmful entitlement the stoics would say that healthy self-esteem comes from living virtuously and doing your best regardless of the outcome entitlement on the other hand is about expecting a certain outcome regardless of your actions let's bring this back to our friend Marcus in the modern office he might notice that his co-worker Alex who got the project Sarah wanted doesn't brag about it or act like he was owed the opportunity instead Alex expresses gratitude for the chance to work on the project and focuses on doing his best that's healthy self-esteem in action

on the other hand Sarah continues to Grumble about being passed over insisting she deserved the project without considering why Alex might have been chosen or how she could improve her skills that's entitlement talking so how can you use this stoic wisdom to recognize entitled behavior in your own life start by paying attention to how people respond to setbacks or criticism do they reflect on how they can improve or do they immediately blame others do they Express gratitude for what they have or are they always focused on what they think they deserve and here's the tricky

part don't forget to turn that stoic lens on yourself sometimes as Marcus Aurelius said look within within is the Fountain of good and it will ever bubble up if thou Wilt ever dig in our next segment we'll explore the impact of self-entitled people and how stoicism can help us navigate these choppy Waters get ready for some practical stoic strategies that would make epic tetus proud the impact of self-entitled people what would a stoic do dealing with entitled people can be exhausting it's like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom no matter

how much you give It's never enough but fear not our stoic friends have some Sage advice for handling these situations let's start with one of the core principles of stoicism focusing on what we can control epicus stated clearly some things are in our control and others not things in our control are opinion Pursuit desire aversion and in a word whatever are our own actions things not in our control are body property reputation command and in one word whatever are not our own actions so what does this mean when we're dealing with entitled people well we

can't control their behavior but we can control our response to it let's see how our friend Marcus might apply this in his office situation still bitter about not getting the project Sarah has started spreading rumors about Alex's incompetence she clearly feels entitled to undermine him to make herself look look better Marcus drawing on his stoic training realizes he can't control Sarah's Behavior but he can control his own actions what would a stoic do in this situation here are a few possibilities one stay objective Marcus doesn't let Sarah's rumors Cloud his Judgment of Alex's work he

evaluates Alex based on his actual performance not on Gossip two refuse to participate when Sarah tried to draw Marcus into her complaining he politely but firmly refuses to talk negatively about their colleagues three focus on virtue instead of getting caught up in office politics Marcus concentrates on doing his work to the best of his ability four practice empathy while not excusing Sarah's Behavior Marcus tries to understand what insecurities might be driving it this helps him respond with patience rather than anger now you might be thinking that's all well and good but doesn't this approach let

entitled people walk all over you great question the stoics would argue that you're actually in a position of strength by not letting the entitled person's Behavior disturb your Tranquility as Marcus Aurelius said you have power over your mind not outside events realize this and you will find strength by remaining calm and focused in the face of entitled Behavior you maintain your integrity and often command more respect than if you had sunk to their level but let's be honest this isn't always easy dealing with entitled people can take a toll on your mental health and well-being

that's why the stoics also emphasized the importance of choosing your companions wisely senica advised associate with people who are likely to improve you he wasn't suggesting we only hang out with perfect people as if if they exist but rather that we should be mindful of the company we keep if entitled individuals constantly surround you it can wear you down and even start to warp your own perspective so what's a modern stoic to do here are a few strategies one set clear boundaries let entitled people know what Behavior you will and won't accept do this calmly

and without anger but be firm two limit exposure when possible reduce the time you spend with highly entitled individuals you don't have to cut them off entirely but be mindful of how much of your energy they're consuming three seek out positive influences actively cultivate relationships with people who inspire you to be your best self four practice self-care take time to recharge and reinforce your values and perspective this could involve journaling meditation or simply spending time time in nature five use entitled Behavior as a teaching tool when you encounter it use it to reflect on your

attitudes and behaviors are there areas where you might Harbor a sense of entitlement without realizing it remember the goal isn't to eliminate all problematic people from your life that's not possible or even desirable as Marcus Aurelius said the art of living is more like wrestling than dancing the challenge is part of what helps us grow instead the stoic approach is about developing the inner resilience to deal with entitled Behavior effectively without letting it disturb your peace of mind or compromise your principles it's about recognizing what you can and can't control focusing on your virtue and

using every interaction even the difficult ones as an opportunity for personal growth why avoiding self- entitle people is crucial stoic wisdom on relationships picture this it's ancient Rome and you're Lucius a young Merchant trying to make your way in the bustling Marketplace you've got a choice to make on one side there's quintus a flashy Trader known for his grandiose claims and his belief that he's the God's gift to Commerce on the other there's Claudia a quiet but respected businesswoman who treats her customers and fellow Merchants with equal respect now if you were seeking advice you

might turn to epicus the formerly enslaved person turned renowned stoic teacher Epictetus would likely remind you of one of his key teachings the key is to keep company only with people who uplift you whose presence calls forth your best this translates to a simple but powerful idea in our modern world the people we surround ourselves with shape who we become so why is it crucial to avoid self-entitled people let's break it down with a story meet Elena a talented graphic designer who is starting her career she landed her dream job at a hip advertising agency

and is thrilled to work alongside creative professionals however she soon notices that her teammate Alex has a habit of claiming credit for others ideas and demanding special treatment from their boss at first El tries to brush it off thinking it's just part of the competitive industry however as days turn into weeks she becomes more stressed second-guessing her abilities and even starting to adopt some of Alex's entitled behaviors to keep up this is where our old friend senica would chime in in one of his letters to his prote lucilius senica wrote associate with those who will

make a better man of you welcome Those whom you yourself can improve the process is mutual for men learn while they teach Elena's story illustrates why distancing ourselves from entitled people aligns perfectly with stoic principles of virtue the stoics believe that true happiness comes from living a life of virtue wisdom Justice courage and self-control entitled people with their constant focus on what they deserve rather than what they can contribute often pull us away from these virtues think about it how often have you found yourself compromising your values or feeling drained after spending time with someone

who constantly puts their desires above everything else it's like trying to fill a leaky bucket no matter how much positivity or virtue you pour in it drains away in the presence of entitlement but here's the kicker the stoics weren't advocating for completely cutting off difficult people instead they encouraged us to be mindful of the company we keep and its effect on our character as Marcus Aurelius put it the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts so what's the stoic solution it's about striking a balance limit your exposure to entitled individuals when you can

but when you must interact with them use it as an opportunity to practice your stoic virtues let their entitlement be the wet stone that sharpens your patience compassion and commitment to living according to your principles remember Elena she decided to take a stoic approach instead of letting Alex's Behavior change her she used it as motivation to double down on her Integrity she started keeping a work Journal crediting her teammates contributions and focusing on improving her skills rather than seeking recognition over time her colleagues and superiors noticed her genuine talent and teamwork leading to new opportunities

and a much more fulfilling career path the lesson we create an environment that nurtures our growth and Happiness by choosing to associate more with those who Inspire us to be our best selves and learning to navigate interactions with entitled individuals without compromising our values it's not about avoiding all problematic people it's about being intentional with our relationships and using every Interac action to practice stoic wisdom stoic strategies for dealing with self-entitled people all right fellow stoics in training let's roll up our toga sleeves and dig into some practical strategies for dealing with entitled people but

first let me tell you about Marcus no not the emperor this time but our modernday office Warrior Marcus has been killing it at his software development job consistently delivering high quality code ahead of schedule he's even given hints to his boss about leading the next big project but there's a Twist in our tale enter Lucia the new hire with an impressive resume and an even more impressive sense of entitlement on her very first day Luchia announces to the team that she expects to be made Project Lead within a month because in her words that's the

role I deserve with my experience Marcus feels a knot in his stomach he's worked hard for this opportunity and now this newcomer thinks she can just Waltz in and claim it this my friends is where our stoic training kicks in let's explain how Marcus can handle this situation using time-tested stoic techniques one negative visualization this is a classic stoic practice of imagining worst case scenarios to prepare for them our boy senica was big on this he'd say he robs present ills of their power who has pursed received their coming beforehand so Marcus takes a moment

to imagine what would happen if Luchia did get the project lead role he realizes that while it would be disappointing it wouldn't be the end of the world he'd still have his job his skills and future opportunities this mental exercise helps reduce his anxiety and puts him in a calmer State of Mind two focus on what you can control this is straight out of epic titus's Playbook he taught some things are in our control and others not things in our control are opinion Pursuit desire aversion and in a word whatever are our own actions Marcus

realizes he can't control Lucia's Behavior or his boss's decisions what he can control is his own actions and responses he continues doing excellent work documents his contributions clearly and communicates his career goals to his boss three practicing virtue in the face of entitlement remember virtue is the only true good for stoics Marcus Aurelius wrote in his meditations just that you do the right thing the rest doesn't matter our modern Marcus decides to take the high road instead of badmouthing Luchia or trying to undermine her he chooses to be a team player he even offers to

help Luchia understand the team's workflows coding standards demonstrating leadership through action rather than entitlement four the stoic art of reframing this involves looking at situations from different perspectives epic tetus advised everything has two handles the one by which it may be carried the other by which it cannot if your brother acts unjustly don't lay hold on the action by the handle of his Injustice for by that it cannot be carried but by the opposite it that he is your brother that he was brought up with you and thus you will lay hold on it as

it is to be carried Marcus tries to reframe Lucia's Behavior perhaps her entitlement comes from insecurity in a new job maybe she's been taught that this is how one should act in a corporate environment this perspective helps Marcus respond with empathy rather than anger five setting boundaries with stoic calm the stoics were all about maintaining tranquil but that doesn't mean being a pushover it's about setting boundaries calmly and firmly when Lucia tries to take credit for one of Marcus's ideas in a team meeting he calmly States I'm glad you agree with the approach I proposed

last week I'd happily explain more about how I developed that solution no anger no accusation just a straightforward factual statement now let's fast forward a few weeks thanks to his stoic approach Marcus has maintained his osure and continued to excel in his work his boss noticing his consistent performance and mature handling of Team Dynamics decides to make Marcus the Project Lead but here's the plot twist the boss also asks Marcus to Mentor Luchia seeing potential in her skills despite her entitled attitude Marcus channeling his inner stoic Sage sees this as an opportunity to practice virtue

and potentially positively influence l chia's approach to work and colleagues the moral of our story by applying stoic principles Marcus achieved his goal maintained his Integrity improved Team Dynamics and positioned himself as a leader capable of handling challenging personalities remember dealing with entitled people is less about changing them and more about managing our responses and staying true to our principles as epicus wisely said you are not not your body and hairstyle but your capacity for choosing well if your choices are beautiful so too will you be Breaking Free from your own entitlement a stoic approach

to self-improvement we've spent much time discussing dealing with entitled people but now it's time to look in the mirror because let's face it we've all had moments when we felt the world owed us something so let's Channel our inner Marcus Aurelius and do some self-reflection speaking of Marcus Aurelius did you know that this Roman Emperor one of the most powerful men in the Known World spent Time Each Day writing notes to himself about how to be a better person talk about setting the bar high for self-improvement in his meditations Marcus wrote you have power over

your mind not outside events realize this and you will find strength this is the Cornerstone of stoic self-improvement it's not about controlling the world but mastering our thoughts and actions let me tell you about Sophia a rising star in a tech startup she's brilliant hardworking and well starting to feel a bit entitled after landing a few big clients she begins to expect special treatment she shows up late to meetings figuring the team can wait for her she dismisses ideas that aren't her own she even starts to believe that the company's success is most due to

her efforts sound familiar maybe you've been Sophia at some point I know I have this is where stoic self-reflection comes in handy here are some exercises inspired by stoic philosophy to help us check our sense of entitlement one evening review this is a practice Marcus Aurelius swore by at the end of each day ask yourself did I expect special treatment today why did I blame others for my problems or take responsibility for my actions did I show gratitude for what I have or focus on what I think I deserve two voluntary discomfort this stoic practice

involves intentionally putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to build resilience and appreciate what you have maybe it's taking the stairs instead of the elevator or eating a simple meal instead of dining out the goal is to remind yourself that you can handle discomfort and don't need constant luxury three momento Mori the stoics often reminded themselves of their mortality it sounds Grim but it's a powerful way to put things in perspective when you remember that your time is limited it becomes clear how pointless it is to waste energy feeling entitled four premeditatio malorum this is the practice

of negative visualization we discussed earlier regularly imagine losing the things you feel entitled to it's a great way to cultivate gratitude and resilience now back to Sophia she decides to try these stoic practices she starts each morning by reminding herself that her position and success are not guaranteed she volunteers for a challenging project outside her comfort zone she begins to Express gratitude for her team's contributions consciously over time Sophia notices a change she feels more grounded appreciative of her colleagues and ironically valued by her team by letting go of her sense of entitlement she becomes

the kind of leader people genuinely want to follow the stoic approach to overcoming entitlement is not about denying your worth or downplaying your achievements it's about recognizing that true self-worth comes from your character and actions not from external validation or special treatment remember breaking free from entitlement is an ongoing process even Marcus aelius with all his wisdom felt the need to remind himself daily about staying humble and virtuous so be patient with yourself keep practicing and watch as your stoic mindset transforms not just how you deal with entitled people but how you approach life itself

in our final segment we'll wrap up our stoic journey and explore how to build a life of virtue in a world that of seems to reward entitlement stay tuned and remember to do your evening review tonight building a life of virtue in a world of entitlement we've journeyed through the land of entitlement armed with the wisdom of ancient philosophers now it's time to answer the big question why should we care about all this and how can we apply it in our lives the truth is plain and simple you can't control the entitled people around you

but you can absolutely control how you respond to them and that my friends is where your power lies why should you strive to build a life of virtue in a world full of entitlement because it's the shest path to genuine happiness and peace of mind you become unshakable when you base your worth on your character rather than external validation no entitled person can take that away from you so how do we do this here are three three stoic inspired strategies you can start applying today one practice gratitude daily instead of focusing on what you think

you deserve appreciate what you already have it's a simple shift that can transform your life two reframe challenges as opportunities for growth when you encounter entitled Behavior ask yourself how can this situation help me become more patient understanding or resilient three focus on your actions not the outcomes do your best in everything you do but remember that the result isn't entirely in your control your virtue lies in your effort not in external recognition remember building a life of virtue isn't about being perfect it's about consistent effort and gradual Improvement you're growing stronger whenever you choose

patience over frustration understanding over judgment or humility over entitlement you're part of the stoic Community now meaning you're never alone on this journey we all work together to navigate life's challenges with wisdom and Grace so the next time you're faced with entitled Behavior take a deep breath and remember that you have the power to choose your response choose virtue choose growth choose the path of the stoic