are the first 15 seconds of your videos stopping you from making money recently thousands of creators applied to be roasted by me on this channel and most of them were making mistakes that will wreck trust instantly with their viewers and that will kill watchtime link clicks and sales so today I'm going to roast three creators and show you how to fix their intro problems that you probably have too using some tricks that have generated me Millions so this is Patrick Patrick emailed in to say that he was struggling to get consistent sales and leads so
let's look at how his intro is stopping that from happening now I know that my sounds strange but if you think about it if they can't get past the intro they can't get into the content and Dev viral that value which will then encourage them to click the link which will then encourage them to buy your product so it really does play a critical part now before I start I have I strain and the Opticians have told me I need to wear these let's crack in so what I'm going to do is I'm going to
click on this video writing advice I wish name before I started we're going to play it for about a minute and a half I'm going to jump in and out between but stick with me okay [Music] so we're already gone as a viewer now you can make a sketch work but Mana needs to be quick like it needs to be over pretty much already or it needs to be incredibly [Music] engaging you just have to wait for your computer to load everyone hates waiting just cut it welcome to the top 10 great generic writing advice
number one themes themes are great you should do themes in your story why they are great because great books and great stories have themes and great themes are better than bad themes all right the sketch has ended so 52 seconds listen there is so much generic writing advice on the internet things that are either useless or things that are so obvious that I don't know why everyone is talking about it that is a potential hook there's so much bad advice online but this is a video about what I wish I knew before I started it
could be more in line and there were plenty of things that I learn along the way that took me years to develop or to realize and so today I present to you the writing advice that I wish I knew before I started the writing okay so the intro is done 1 minute 23 I'm going to just re-edit this and then I'm going to play it to you to show you how short I think this should be there is so much generic writing advice on the internet and so today I present to you the writing advice
that I wish I knew before I started the writing hopefully you can see the difference there so there's one more thing that I need to address and this is a really big problem on YouTube we live in a world now where there are World leading experts on YouTube and we got to compete against them so in that opening intro we have to raise our credibility as fast as we can otherwise I'm kind of like well who is this guy why why should I care so I want you to check out Jed let's just have a
look at him so je Amazing Fantasy writing Channel just listen to this intro in this video I'm going to share with you my full step-by-step guide to help you write your fantasy novel over the next 12 months I've published four fantasy books along with an interactive fiction novel and I've helped many other writers finish their own fantasy novels as well you want to listen to him right four books I'm watching this thinking I ain't going to get better advice than this on YouTube and that's why J's channel is so good but starting with these little
credibility hooks is a problem what if you've not written four books well I haven't you probably haven't e it right cuz it's an amazing I've not even written one so the way we get around that is by thinking okay what can we drop in to make it very clear we're credible so you might have written a million words so you could drop that in in some way shape or form you might have studied a thousand fantasy books and discovered a pattern within them what each writer follows all the time to have a best seller we
need something that makes this advice sound like it's coming from a place with full of research especially when you have a title like advice I wish I knew before I started writing because that is a title where it's like I'm credible know my stuff listen to me and if we're lacking that in the hook in the intro why would anyone care okay so give me a few minutes I'm going to go rewrite this and then we'll break down what I've done okay so this is what I came up with are you following a ton of
writing advice struggling to appli it and finding that your novel gets nowhere well the truth is I'd have never published my first or my third book if ID listened to 90% of the information I found out there so in this video I'm going to show you what really matters to turn that fantasy idea in your head into a multi-award winner faster and easier than you could ever imagine okay I'm not a big fan of my hook there but I don't actually know what your viewers biggest problems are so I kind of guessed and I kind
of put getting nowhere which is a bit vague we might need a more specific paino but then what I did was I hit him with some stealthy credibility here and the result that your viewers want which is here and I kind of went for the dream option now if youve not published book you're probably going to want to find something else and then set up a big result but that's kind of it so if I was going to give you two things need to take from this it's firstly try and keep your intros down to
like 15 seconds no more than 30 Max and secondly bake some credibility in so viewers know why they need to trust you okay next up we have Ben Ben came to me and he said his problem is getting leads and people to reach out to me to buy or sell homes in my local real estate market what we're going to do we're going to watch this video about moving to salce Maria onario what you need to know and then I'm going to point out everything that's potentially wrecking you from getting sales all right H play
everything is okay so before we even click play you're losing sales you're wanting to sell people homes right which is expensive and you need to build a lot of trust you can't wear the T-shirt you got from team building exercise 92 the thing is because it's so bright and the background's so plain it's just drawing my eyes to it and I'm going oh look there's a plane on there wait what else is on there and I'm analyzing your T-shirt now I know that's really mean I'm this coming from the guy in glasses the irony and
this is kind of the thing about First Impressions on YouTube cold viewers in particular absolutely brutal now I'm not the sort of person to sit here and comment I don't think it's that and be like I hate your T-shirt I don't hate it but it instantly caught my eye so we need to do something about that so I'm going to fix it for you one sec all right so for the wonders of Photoshop to me there's nothing to judge here but I'm not thinking about anything other than listening to you now the next problem we
have is you've got these horrible overhead lights so let me just turn off my lighting and show you what this does when we've got a light coming down across our head look it gives me like a more like protruded brow you see that it's just it's not quite the same look the difference between sorting your lighting out and just shooting something above it's an instant credibility Builder so I'm just going to turn these lights back on again now I'm going to show you how to fix this because you've got this like bright light up here
and it's casting these Shadows here I've just brightened your face up a little bit now it's not well beating but it's already a little bit better and then what I'm going to do is just going to play around with your background okay check this out right so what I've done is I've put like a fate like behind you and you know what else we're going to do going to put a bit of blur on that background yeah look at that right so we see this I don't think this is going to win any awards but
there's a huge difference there right so this one distracting this one professional first impression you've got over that initial bump that is going to enable people to actually listen to what you're saying which in turn will help them build value and then they'll become clients now let's listen to this everything need to know about living in sus Mar Ontario welcome to sus Marie or what local like to call it the Sue okay we need to slow you down and get you articulating a little bit more it's a bit fast so it kind of sounds like
you're mumbling a little bit too um so I had to really listen there and again that's going to put the viewers off and stop them getting into your juicy content my name is Ben warock and I'm a real estate agent with exit realy True North whether you're relocating for work looking for affordability or just want to live closer to Nature this city has something for everything so let's dive in to see what makes Su Marie a great place to call home have you ever been to a party when you don't know anyone there and you
turn up late and everyone's standing there and you walk up to them you're like hi and they're like hi I'm Susie hi Susie I'm Ed hi I'm Dan hi Dan I'm Ed you do not remember anyone's name in the circle and they don't remember yours it's just not how it works we come in we're all overwhelm we're not thinking remember names it's the same with video right it's like I ain't going to remember your name I don't care about that also it says your name below right so we don't need to bother with that stuff
like let's get into the good bit now after that we need some words that make him pay attention so what I'm going to do is I'm going to rewrite the script now and then I'm going to present it and I'm going to write three versions and let's see if you can pick up on what I'm doing differently and then I'm going to break down what I do differently the first one stick with me I'm not saying doing exactly like this with violent crime 49% higher in Sal say Marie should you really leave the safety of
your hometown to relocate here or will the gra F and vandalism put you off in this video I'm going to reveal the truth about salce I discovered moving over 100 families here and by the end you'll know if you should move where the best fit for you is and what you need to avoid at all costs to keep your prices down and your family safe right I mean the hook is a fact and I did some Googling and that's what came up violent cram is 49% higher in Sal say than the rest of the USA
so that's shocking it's going to get attention but obviously probably not the best one using your business if you're trying to get people to move here right but what I've done there is I have raised the stakes and if you think about moving it is such a high stakes decision people have fears about moving we want to tap into them it doesn't have to be Extreme as that by any means but you need to hit them with an intro that hooks them and then you need to start setting up a potential problem they could come
across and then tease that you're going to give them a solution it's kind of it now I'm going to do my next intro did you know that Soul Marie is one of the cheapest places to live in America filled with top schools Wildlife and Parks it's no wonder families are flocking here in their droves the thing is while some areas are incredible value there are some hidden costs that anyone moving here needs to know about so they don't end up wrecking their bank account so in this video I'm going give you everything you need to
know about salce based on years of living here and helping hundreds of family move okay so let's just tick off some things on here we're going to start with a fact it's one of the cheapest places in America positive fact it's filled with top schools Wildlife and Parks great and then what I've done is I've created some fomo it's no wonder families are flocking here in their droves now if that's not happening don't say it but if it is we want to tease that you know loads of families moving here this is an upand coming
place this is exciting it's painting a good picture then we're going to drop in a problem the thing is while some areas are valuable there's hidden costs so now we're raising the stakes right and the stakes are going to create tension and that's going to hook people so in this video I'm going to give you everything you need to know and we're just setting up the value it's not as over the top as the other one and it works and I'm going to give you my third intro now do you dream of acquir affordable lifestyle
surrounded by stunning Landscapes well salt Sam Marie will give you just that if you can avoid the biggest mistakes people make when they move here so in this video I'm going to show you the hidden gems I discovered after moving over 100 families here and where best to invest your money so you can find the perfect forever home so you can see what I've done in all of these I moved people here I moved people here I moved people here credibility letting them know you're open for business they're going to listen to you more also
using words like hidden gems is mysterious right it's like oh this is an adventure I wonder what we might uncover so there's kind of descriptive language in here without it being too over the top now this is the thing that's really interesting about writing all three of those intros they feel like completely different videos right especially the first one which feels like it's a smear campaign and that's the thing about positioning we can make salt say out to sound like it's going to be a hell hole or a paradise in in a couple of sentences
either way it's going to hook the viewer you kind of want to find the one that's the right fit for your own personal brand so if I was just going to give you a couple of things from this a fact hook can be a really powerful way to get people interested and then we want to set up a problem that the viewer might have themselves so they go yeah that's the thing I'm worried about and then you tell them you're going to solve it in the video three things which moves us on to our next
contestant vent in this question he said I know I have a problem I believe it's the packaging I know I have content that no one shared before at least that's what I'm aware of but views are a disaster so I'm guessing thumbnails and titles are missing the mark and regardless how I go with the promise plan proof pain picture hook views are terrible the hell's that that sounds way more complicated than it needs to be my uneducated guess is that topics might be the problem since those can trigger the who the [ __ ] are
you to teach me at my goals discipline procrastination so you are doing the classic thing so about six years ago I was like you and I thought I probably had one problem because I was doing everything right and I had a call with darl Lees and he very quickly made it clear that I was doing absolutely everything wrong we're kind of in a similar position here right I'm just going to touch on this before we get into the intro because I need to help you here you are all over the place how to become a
top writer click this it will save five years of a goals broad broad self-help writing Niche two different niches it won't entertain you but Grand a pen it might save you FIV no idea what Niche that is 29 YouTube videos in 45 days Five Lessons now you're a YouTube growth Channel achieved more in 12 weeks than 99% now you're a productivity Channel discipline now you're a self-help Channel what are you viewers do not come back for all these problems you're either a writing Channel or a self-help Channel or a productivity channel so that's problem number
one your strategies all over the place look that's that's the main thing holding you back what we're going to do now is look at the intros writing is the skill behind skills from your favorite goofy video on YouTube to standup comedians to movies to cartoons to X IG Tik Tok Facebook all the way to emails and ads and sales Pages this is becoming a shopping list of things I need to pick up whilst I'm down Sainsbury's Walmart for the UK vsls and call videos to this it's still going boy you are watching right now it's
all writing and I don't care what anyone says so let's just look at First Impressions here Studio looks good you got nice lighting but we have a problem so when I was a kid you weren't allowed to take food out of the canteen so I cut a hole in my blazer where basally meant I could put Donuts in it and then the donut would slip all the way to the bottom of the lining so I could sneak them out right the teachers never knew and then in the lesson I'd pop it out and I'd be
like chewing away you know eating my donut and I'm looking at you thinking is this guy smuggling Donuts what's going on why are your hands here this is so distracting and it hits your credibility if you're going to present you want this like open posture a lot of the time or you can do like I'm doing right now it's just way more chill but like don't do this 1,840 seven different versions of Chad GPT won't be able to replace the personality in your writing the million dooll question is how the [ __ ] do I
do that how do I become the writer okay so like we're 39 seconds in and now you've kind of addressed the title it's way too late without spending a solid decade making love to the keyboard how to make your writing turn heads listen you are going to hate me for this but it will literally allow you to spend time and snap five years in to 9 months you're you're saying learning to write is going to make you do all these amazing things the video is called how to become a top percent writer they're probably already
bought into the idea of why they need to write well you could set up the importance in a sentence but 56 seconds of it it's way too much to become the top 1% of all right now the video is starting so let's just keep going on the internet to become so powerful behind the keyboard that people start talking about you asking you how I like that to become so powerful people start asking about you that's a nice line closer to you and work together asking if you can write their okay we get the point like
assume your viewers have a brain and they don't need everything overexplained it's hard because sometimes we want to keep teaching and I suck at this when I'm live I keep saying the same thing over and over again in different ways but the the art of YouTube is giving them just enough so that they go like get it move on and keep that information flowing these four steps will take not just your finances and your online influence but your relationship okay we're 121 and we're still building up why this is going to be good what was
it you said about a hook plan something I think you're trying to tick off like five or six things you don't need we need a hook set up the value first point there's no value at 142 station buy a pan and a good old notebook we got to work on your tone cuz I feel like I'm being to off for smuggling Donuts you're building it up far too much and you've not dropped anything in that qualifies you to teach this so who are you to teach me writing let's assume we don't have a huge amount
to drop into the intro to make us credible what can we do I'm going to show you Phillip Philip Hume and you guys might have seen this video really recently cuz it AB blew up now Philip recently joined my program but I'm not saying that's why it blew up he might have had it ready beforehand let me just play you his intro and I'm going to show you how he builds credibility without talking about himself let me show you a quick example by John chinski whom you might know from the office it's a 20 second
story so really short but it's so powerful by the end of today you'll know exactly how to tell stories just like him and then I said yeah and he said says uh who are you visiting here I said my wife and he says is she an actress and I said yeah he said what I know her I I don't know man her name's Emily Blunt he goes he goes you and I went yeah and he goes you you married Emily BLT so this is fantastic Philip has hit you with an example he's then going to
go and explain his point but what he's done is instead of him saying I did this I did that he has taken someone famous who a lot of people know he's turned around and said this is an incredible story so you know the context of which you're watching it but because people already know this actor we're kind of harnessing his ethos his credibility and then when you unpack it it kind of reflects on you so if you're sitting there and you're like well I don't have anything that I can drop in to make me credible
that's okay what you want to do is take other people's credibility and analyze that in your content to then lift up your own so with that in mind I am going to rewrite your intro your title is how to become a top 1% writer so it starts like this Dan Co makes 5 million a year with nothing other than a keyboard so in this video I'm going to show you the tricks he used to become a top 1% writer so you can get into a position where you have people begging to work with you that's
it we have harnessed someone else's credibility so straight away I'm hooked I'm like cool I'm going to get top info here it's also going to be someone your audience probably knows and respects and admires and then you've just set up the Big Value to get the result that you promised in the title that's all you need man all right so if you enjoyed this let me know what I should do the roasts on next I've got another one coming up very soon in the comments do we want packaging from those title sales products put it
down there I need to know and if you want to know how to fix more sales mistakes in your YouTube pipeline funnel thingy Miggy and watch this video next where I've roasted another three channels and I think you're going to like it
