School by eighteen, college by twenty-three, finding career by twenty-eight, getting married by thirty-two, two kids by thirty-two, apartment by thirty-three, career taking off by thirty-five, being the boss by forty-five, retirement in the seventies. Ok, met the goals; no longer need to live! Who has never compared themselves to this line kind of unconsciously?

When you're here but haven't done it yet, forget it! You feel like you're the last one in life, the last one in the schoolroom, it seems that everyone is talking about you; or, at the very least, it's your parents' disappointment. And nothing else in life matters, because if you 're lagging in one area, it doesn't matter in all ten.

Only this one matters! Or these! So, what is life all about?

Running to reach the next goal and not be late, or at least less late. A day is never a day to live, to feel the sun on your face, to talk, to grow, to learn. Only if this is useful for the test or for the next goal.

So the first thing I wanted to show you in this video is the idea of the expected timeline, which is these milestones or accomplishments that you should reach by about age. And often, they oppress more than they encourage to achieve all of this. Because life boils down to achieving, jumping to the next step, to the next dot, and at the end of the line, it's not living anymore.

So does it make sense to live these middle days here just to reach the next goal and then the next, the next? Since, an important detail, is that we think everyone is paying attention to you. This is the Spotlight Effect.

The Spotlight Effect is the name given to the overvaluation that all people give to the possible judgment that others make about them, believing that they are judged with greater frequency or intensity than they really are. That is, do you think that everyone is paying attention to you, worrying about you, analyzing you, judging you, when no one cares about you, everyone is worried about their own lives and even worrying if you you are not thinking about them. It's like the first day at the gym.

You think everyone is paying attention to you, but no one cares. But that's how we go on living, chasing expected goals and worrying about the opinion of others. So, the idea is not to think about this question of when: When should you have achieved it; when it should reach.

Forget it! Just think about the 'What'. What do you want to do?

What do you want to do in the next few years of life? What experiences do you want to live? What do you want to learn?

How do you want to interact with people? And let go of what is expected too. So just focus on what you want.

So it's kind of the design of life itself, you decide what you want and go after what you want. No rush, no despair, no worrying about the opinion of others or if you're meeting the expectations of who knows who. And one idea for this is that living well today is not the opposite of going after goals.

So, we always have this idea that it needs to be difficult, that it needs to be exhausting, it needs to be horrible, suffering! But not. One of the ideas, including from positive psychology, is that when you are well, when you are happy, you have a great functioning to go after your goals.

So, one thing feeds the other. So, you're fine, you go after your goals; and then you stay well, you keep going after your goals. .

. So, something to cultivate is to stay well, it is to have a balance, to see that, in other areas of your life, you are not lagging behind, you can even be very advanced. This is the question, for example, of those who pass too early.

So, sometimes we think "Oh, I passed too early, that's good! ". Then you turn seventeen , go to college, you don't have a shred of maturity.

You go to college just to kiss on the mouth, you're just going to pass. You don't think ahead. And, sometimes, it is a much worse experience and one that will bring you very harmful effects later on, than someone who took five years to go through, but who entered with his head in the right place, with maturity, knowing what he wants there ahead, taking full advantage of college.

So, there are several nuances in this issue. Not it's just the 'When', there are many other things. So, this experience of coming in at seventeen without any maturity was what I went through.

So, I was completely lost, I didn't know what I wanted, so. . .

"Ah, I'm going to this party", "I'm going to this other one and then I think. . .

". And so the years go by. For me, it probably wasn't worth passing so early, so young.

So there are a lot of other things you gain by being more mature when starting out. A college course is one of them. Even for older students, like, after twenty-five, after thirty, you'll study in college in a totally different way at eighteen, you'll enjoy it in a different way, you'll make different friends, you'll take care of then, if it is medicine, it will take care of patients in a different way.

But I know it's hard to see that, that we only see the positive side of those who have been there before, of those who haven't been late, of those who have already achieved all their goals; when there are several positives of taking a little longer and going with another head and going with more maturity. And one thing that happens is that we give a lot of weight to concrete achievements. So, to pass, to form.

Since, softer achievements, like your interpersonal skills, your empathy or, you know, your gifts of presentation, your friends, things that are not numbers, that are not exact, we end up not giving as much value ; but that's what flowers are, that's what makes everything better. So, I encourage you to think about it the other way too. And one idea is to always get references and inspirations from those who have already gone through what you want to do at the age you want.

So, let's say, you're forty years old, you're going to do something new, you're going to take a new course, see if there isn't someone who's going through this at your age. What challenges does she have? How is it?

Sometimes it's a lot easier than you might think; or sometimes not. So, understand what it's like, sometimes, to follow on social networks, to talk. I think it's very positive that you create references for what you want to achieve and do well on that path.

And a point that, from time to time, I talk about here on Youtube, including the self-sabotage video, is the question of forgiving yourself. What happens? Sometimes, we need to make a very important lifelong decision early in life.

So seventeen, eighteen. And sometimes you go to a course you think you like, sometimes a course you like; but then you finish, arrive at the job market and see that it's not exactly how you thought it would be. Or else, sometimes, even in the middle of college, you already realize: "No, this is not it.

" And this is now more and more common because now you have access to information. Before, there wasn't that, so you started a course, you finish that course and you work on it until you die because there is no other option. And now, no; now you see there are so many options!

And it's possible to stop something in between, start over and it's ok! And there is no such thing as delay. So, the measure of success is far beyond the time you do things.

It's even a Journaling idea, right, to write what success is for you. And I thought about it a lot this year, when I did an entrepreneurship mentorship with a very famous person on the internet. And then he analyzed the Issue Sniper and such.

And then, the conclusion is that the company should multiply by ten, it should have a lot more employees, it should invest a lot more in some areas, it should, you know. . .

Be a giant company! And for that I would need to work twice, three times more and, you know, live working, thinking and analyzing. During the mentorship I saw that, wow, is this really what I want?

Is it the next step? Is that what will make me happier? And, analyzing.

. . No, it's not.

I think everyone needs to make their own choices and, for me, I've seen that time is my most precious resource. Time for me to do the things I want. So, doing Yoga whenever I want, exercising, going out with my son, traveling, recording videos that I want to record; not just because I have to do it for the Quest Sniper.

I saw that this was much more important to me than just having a gigantic company with many million dollars. No, I have millions of dollars nowhere; but anyway. And with that I learned to have my own definition of success.

You know, what is success for you? Think too! Because sometimes it's not just one thing, it's several things and when you cultivate these various things, everything gets better.

So, I saw that, for example, for me, success is being able to travel, being able to work in other places remotely. And so, I'm here in Argentina, on Airbnb, recording this and I can balance those two things. It's something I couldn't do if I had a company with, I don't know, fifty people.

So, the idea today is for us to demystify it a little, remove this idea from this expected timeline. This rarely happens and when it does it's not necessarily a good thing. Sometimes people really catch up at the right age; but are they happy?

But is it really a perfect life? It often isn't. So sometimes, shifting the time of things isn't going to impact your profession, it's not going to impact how good you are at something; but it can make you happier.

And another point is that life doesn't just have to be limited to reaching the next goal, you can cultivate good things today, which don't necessarily have to do with, for example, passing the entrance exam. You can have your friends, your hobbies, other things you like to do. And that's basically it.

I hope you enjoyed it! And that's it, thank you so much for watching! Keep going after your dreams, the world needs the skill that only you have!

And we'll see you in the next video, bye!