most people think that being attractive is about looking good and while your looks do matter to some extent they are not the full picture being attractive has a lot more to do with having a charismatic and a Magnetic Personality that draws people in that makes you Unforgettable and today we are going to learn exactly how to do that how to Captivate others how to build unshakable confidence and how to Rebrand yourself to create an identity that aligns with the highest version of you so go ahead hit subscribe because I bring you videos like this every
single week and let's learn about my top six most powerful ways to create a personality that leaves an impact while still feeling very very authentic to you now I know that I said looks are not very important but they are important enough that you need to put in some amount of effort into your physical appearance plus it is the easiest place to start all of the information is already there and investing in your appearance is literally in your control most of the times and it's not just because looking good makes other people look at you
in a positive light it's because when you dress up when you put effort into how you look it completely rewires your brain I have been a member of Team low effort for the majority of my life this is what I used to look like for most of my adult life but ever since I started doing my nails my head my makeup it has completely changed my self-perception and and that has elevated my confidence like nothing else this is something called the enclothed cognition effect in Psychology every time you put effort into your appearance it impacts
your thoughts your feelings your behavior because you instantly look better and so you want to look at yourself you want to appreciate yourself and your brain is automatically telling itself things like I look amazing I feel so good in my skin I'm worthy of being seen of being appreciated it is a lot of automatic positive selft talk repeating over and over again in your head and what happens when you repeat something over and over again these repeated thoughts become a core belief you start to believe that you are amazing you are the main character you
are worthy of being seen and of being admired and this directly impacts your confidence it reflects in the way you show up in the world and nothing feels and looks as attractive as confidence when you are put together when you are in control of your life and when you have trust in yourself you automatically stand out and become memorable and thereby you become somebody who has an attractive personality a friend also recently told me that ever since I started putting effort into my appearance she feels like watching my videos because that's the energy that I
give out and that is the only signal that I [Music] needed the next thing I want you to do is focus on becoming an interesting person in addition to looking interesting how do you do that think back to when you were a kid and try to remember your friends every friend of yours even you was known for something you were known for something one friend was a cricket expert the other was really great at making jokes the third one was a Ludo Champion you were probably a GK nerd you had this one thing that defined
you and people remembered you for it it made you interesting but as adults most of us feel boring or feel forgettable because we don't want to stand out we want to blend in we want to feel relatable but developing an interesting personality and attractive personality is about doing the exact opposite of that it's about standing out by making yourself memorable and you do this by using something called the spike method which is a technique used in US College admissions to help regular students get into IV League colleges without needing to donate a kidney now College
admissions officers are literally trained to identify applicants who have cool personalities and they do this by figuring out if an applicant is better than 99% of other people at something obscure something Niche like cleaning knitting Minecraft and when they find it they call it a spike because it sticks out it sticks out like a sore thumb as compared to the rest of the applicants and you can actually use this Spike method to customize your own personality all you need need to do is figure out one or two Niche things that truly interest you and then
invest enough time enough energy into it to become better than the average person at it it will become your thing think of someone who is obsessed with chai they experiment with the different blends learn the art of Brewing it perfectly and even go out of their way to explore unique chai spots across India suddenly they're the chai connoisseur and that is all it takes to stand out in a sea of chai lovers now this works for anything a particular video game cooking Regional dishes coffee it's coffee for me honestly street photography or even knowing every
IPL player's stats the key is to dive deep into what you already enjoy learn more than the average person about it and then share it in a way that others can relate to it like if somebody asks you what you do for fun you say oh I try creating unique coffee recipes what are your plans for the weekend well I'm planning to try this new coffee recipe I learned from a mixologist in Italy want to try with me these responses automatically set you apart people will listen because you're presenting something different from what they normally
hear and this of course opens the door for more meaningful conversations in the future your Spike becomes your way of being introduced in a memorable way also you don't just have to have one Spike you can totally have multiple spikes in life it's just about putting in the energy putting in the effort now great you've developed a few spikes you are confident about your ability to be interesting but then when you actually go to have a conversation with someone you find yourself stuck in a loop of Hi how are you good good followed by awkward
silence if you can't really hold a conversation with other people no matter how interesting you are they are never going to know it the good news is though that mastering the art of conversation is easier than you're made to believe it is not about being the smartest or the funniest person in the room it's about engaging people and making them feel like they just had the best conversation of their life let's break it down now imagine that you're at a wedding reception and somebody asks you so what do you do your brain might panic and
default to saying something like uh I work in marketing cool congrats but the conversation is already dead in the water now imagine if you said something like oh I'm currently trying to figure out if Biryani tastes better in lakau or in Hyderabad serious research you know boom you've just given the them something to grab on to and something they can contribute towards so how exactly do you get to this stage firstly remember that conversations are not job interviews nobody cares about your LinkedIn bio unless they're hiring you the goal of a conversation is to connect
not to impress so instead of throwing out facts focus on sharing experiences and asking questions for example instead of saying I went to ladak last summer try something like this I just got back from ladak and I cannot stop thinking about how insane Maggie tasted at 18,000 ft why is Mountain food so much better now they're thinking about their own travel experiences or why Maggie at sea level does not hit the same the next thing you want to do is be a curious sponge not a megaphone let me explain people love talking about themselves and
they don't really like hearing about other people so instead of making conversations all about you ask people questions that dig deeper into their lives but keep it fun so if somebody says they love Cricket don't just stop at oh cool so do I follow it up with if you could watch A Match live from anywhere else in the world which stadium would you pick now you are getting them to dream a little and that makes you memorable another thing you can do is have a conversational toolkit up your sleeve which is just like this roster
of a few interesting stories or a few interesting trivia points about your life that you can whip out whenever things get quiet or awkward and initially when you're trying to get good at the art of conversation awkward silences will be a part of you know your vocabulary for example you can have a story about the time you tried cooking Biryani and accidentally made it so spicy that nobody else could eat food for the next 2 days or if you're into something specific like chai or coffee figure out random facts about these things that are very
interesting for example how chai was popularized in India as a part of marketing campaign by the British East India Company right and now it's become Like Oxygen for Indians now when you have these kind of of things up your sleeve you don't have to use it every time but whenever there's an awkward silence whenever you don't know how to steer a conversation into a different direction you can just whip these out and keep the conversation going instead of leaving it dead hanging and most importantly you need to remember that energy is greater than vocabulary you
do not need a Shakespearean vocabulary to be a good conversationalist what matters more is your energy which is active listening showing genuine interest in the person in in front of you laughing reacting keeping the vibe alive think about it no one remembers the exact words somebody said but they always remember how that person made them feel so focus on making people feel alive making people feel fun being good at conversations makes you magnetic it's the easiest way to make people remember you and enjoy your company right when you can turn a mundane chat into something
engaging people naturally want to be around you because talking to you makes them feel good and the more you practice this the better you will get at it soon you will go from that person was nice to wow I really enjoyed talking to [Music] them now this next one is for you if you have ever caught yourself nodding along in a conversation about something you definitely don't understand but didn't want to admit if you want to upgrade your personality from dial up internet to 5G you need to start expanding your experiences and learning more about
the world around you it's impossible to be engaging to be memorable to be attractive when your entire knowledge base is limited to just your daily routine wake up work scroll sleep repeat sure you might have a killer mem game and you might have one or two interesting spikes but if you want people to be interested in you you need to have something interesting to offer the easiest way to do this is to live an interesting life the more experiences you have the more Dynamic your personality becomes your experience are basically like colorful Lego pieces that
build the blocks of your personality and all you need to do is just keep doing more things that you find interesting you must have noticed that people who have traveled a lot for example or who have tried a bunch of different things always have stories that make you want to lean in it's not because they're inherently cooler than you it's because they have seen and done things that most other people have not done for instance I went to Italy last year and we learned how to make and taste wine from scratch and we learned how
to make pizza and pasta from scratch and anytime somebody talks to us about Italy or anytime somebody talks to us about traveling now these are stories that we can weave into the conversation because these are things we have experience that a lot of other people have probably not and that makes it interesting for them to have a conversation with us and when we talk about stories like this in our dinner parties in our conversations that's way more captivating than just saying saying yeah I mostly work and watch Netflix right when you expose yourself to new
experiences you naturally become the kind of person who always has something to share and people love that also exposing yourself to new things makes you more open-minded you're less rigid and you are more adaptable you're more open to New Perspectives and that is why people always want to talk to you now keep in mind that having more exposure around the world does not always mean you need to backpack across Europe or you need to travel to Italy or you need to memorize you know Wikipedia pages about celebrities it is about actively seeking out new experiences
new ideas new cultures and you can do this simply by joining a new class or trying to cook a new cuisine in your kitchen or diving into an unfamiliar hobby even watching a documentary or reading more books can get you there the more stuff you do in your life the more things you experiment with these moments just keep adding to your personality over time making you a person with some very interesting things to talk about now one very crucial part of being interesting is being mysterious having that air of oh I want to know more
about her and you'll be surprised by how easy this is to do all you need to do is stop being available to people all the time that doesn't make you more likable it makes you more forgettable it lets people take advantage of you when you are too available when you're available all the time people subconsciously take you for granted it's human nature we value what feels rare and intentional not what is always there so like they say right so here is what I need you to do start valuing your time and energy and ask yourself
does this align with what I want before saying yes to anything before making a commitment start setting boundaries and tell people no when you do this you send a clear signal to other people's subconscious that my time is important and so am I and when you prioritize yourself people see you as confident they see you as independent they see you as somebody worth pursuing and it also creates an air of intrigue of mystery it creates room for people to wonder about you nothing is more attractive than somebody who respects themselves enough to set boundaries and
live on their own terms so stop being everyone's 24/7 hotline and start being the person who chooses quality over quantity you will notice that the world starts respecting this and valuing you a lot [Music] more now one factor when it comes to developing an attractive personality is being memorable and we have already talked about this in the first five points the second part of developing an attractive personality is cultivating respect for yourself in the minds of others now this is admittedly a lot more difficult to do than just being memorable think about genzi influencers right
so many of them are memorable you can probably list five 10 different influencers but most of them are memorable for the wrong reasons for being vulgar or Cross or just saying the wrong thing and as a result very few of them actually command respect so when the popularity wave is over and somebody more memorable than them comes in the picture the world will forget about them now I'm not saying you need to become an influencer to command respect what I I mean to say is that respect is hard earned every action you take how you
show up in the world what you say how you say it how you treat people all of these things slowly and steadily build respect for you in other people's mind I also don't mean that you need to be a people pleaser or you need to conform to society in order to be respectable think of people like Steve Jobs Bill Gates and haway Priyanka choa for that matter right they have been unconventional but still very very respectable people in society and I have found that there are certain traits that make someone respectable the first is discipline
somebody who sticks to their word someone who shows up for themselves regardless of how they are feeling discipline builds trust and reliability and people are drawn to those qualities they are drawn to those they can rely on whether it's showing up on time delivering on promises or simply having their life together discipline is what makes you that person imagine you're in a group project right I know that's the worst and then there is always that one person who actually finishes their part without being chased down that's the person that everybody respects maybe everybody remembers the
person who created chaos and made life difficult for everybody else but they respect the person who did not have to be chased down now imagine being that person in every aspect of your life it's like being the human equivalent of WiFi that never lags people cannot help but be impressed by who you are discipline shows that you respect yourself enough to set goals and to stick to them and when you respect yourself other people naturally follow through on the same energy the second trait that I have seen in people who command respect is kindness how
you treat others is a direct reflection of your personality when someone is rude when someone is condescending when they're unkind even if they're the most Charming or witty or intelligent person they do not come across as an attractive person their rudeness overshadows everything else that is exactly what's happening in the Blake Lively and Justin baldoni drama on the flip side when somebody is kind even if they're not the funniest or the smartest person in the room you still want to hang out with them because they make you feel emotionally safe they make you feel like
a human being if you want a personality that leaves a lasting impression start with kindness it is a trait that never goes out of style now before I wrap up this video here is something I want you to know attractive personalities are not something people are just born with they are cultivated like good celebrity PR honestly admittedly some people are inherently better at doing this but if you have the right knowledge and the tools you can do it for yourself so for the next month here is what I want you to do first figure out
three ways in which you can enhance your appearance and do those for yourself starting tomorrow next figure out one thing that you find really really interesting no matter if other people say that it's not interesting or if other people say that it's a waste of time figure out what is one thing that you find really interesting really drawn to and you're going to spend 30 minutes a day for the next month learning more about that thing and doing or practicing that thing if it applies and finally practice striking a conversation with 10 strangers over the
course of the next month by the end of just this one month you will have added so many multi-dimensional pieces to your personality you will feel like a new person and make sure you check out this video next because YouTube says that you're going to love it and I'm going to see you guys very very soon in the next one
